power exchange

Techniques For Slave Training

May 7, 2018 By slave_bunny 5 Comments

Hello everyone! In my last article, I talked about the benefits of training and healthy ways to achieve a successful training outcome.

In this article, I would like to talk about specific training techniques.

The first technique I would like to talk about is Classical Conditioning. Classical conditioning involves a stimulus being trained to evoke a specific response from the s type. A well-known example of this type of conditioning would be Pavlov’s dog. If you are unfamiliar with this reference, I highly recommend googling it.

For this technique to work, the D type must work with the s type to pair a preferred response with a chosen stimulus/object/action. For example, my Master has trained me to say “Master loves me and everything is okay” when he places his hand on my cheek. This is used when my Master wants me to calm down and/or to reduce my anxiety.

As you can see from this example, classical conditioning can be used to shorten response times, can be used to help someone in the dynamic in a positive way, and can take the conscious thinking out of the equation for the s type. When my Master puts his hand on my cheek, I do not even have to think about my response. It just comes out at this point. It has been thoroughly ingrained in me.

This method can also be used to let the s type know they did something that displeases you. For example, the D type could train the s type to know that when the D type snaps their fingers that means the s type did something wrong and must go to the corner to wait for further instruction. Classical conditioning can also be used to get the s type wet and/or ready for sex or play. There is really no limit to what it can be used for. Essentially, it can be used as a way to speed up the response time for whatever response the D type wants the s type to exhibit.

However, even though the end result can speed up the desired response, training one to achieve the desired outcome does take time, work, and patience, just like any other training method and process.

There is no set time-frame as to when classical conditioning can/will occur. I can tell you it does take some time before the brain subconsciously pairs a stimulus with a specific response.

Any type of stimulus can be used as well- smells, tastes, sensations, actions, objects, etc. The possibilities really are endless. It just has to be something that the s type will recognize easily and without question.

The stimulus should also not be something the s type experiences in everyday life. The stimulus should be something that the D type has a considerable amount of control over. You want to be the only or nearly the only one that can give/gives the s type the stimulus. The more control you have over the stimulus and when it is given to the s type, the more effective classical conditioning will be.

Now I would like to talk about another method called Operant Conditioning. This is basically a punishment/reward system that one could use during training.

It’s a way for the D type to encourage and maintain desired behaviors and discourage unwanted behaviors.

If you want to maintain or increase a behavior one could use reinforcement. Positive reinforcement would be giving something pleasant or desired to the s type.

Negative reinforcement would be removing something aversive.

If you want to decrease a certain behavior one could use punishment. Positive punishment would be giving the s type something aversive/undesirable. Negative punishment would be removing something pleasant or desired.

For example, positive reinforcement would be giving an s type ice cream if they like ice cream. Negative reinforcement would be taking a way doing a chore if the s type does not like doing chores. Positive punishment would be giving an s type a chore. Negative punishment would be taking a way ice cream.

Please note, it is always important to be consistent, fair, and just when using punishment/reward as well as anything a D type does.

The punishment and reward must fit what occurred. It’s important for D types to reward and punish when they are calm and well-collected because heightened negative and positive emotions can skew the punishment and reward giving process. Also, punishments should never cross any hard limits or put the s type in any danger.

The next technique I would like to talk about is Extinction. This is essentially ignoring unwanted behaviors.This can be highly effective especially if the s type’s motive for doing something is getting attention. If the s type learns that by doing said behavior they are not going to get the reward they seek, chances are they are not going to exhibit said behavior as much, and may stop doing said behavior all together.

Modeling or showing an s type step by step how something should be done can also be beneficial. This can be very effective with kinesthetic learners if the D type shows a step and then expects the s type to copy them. Physical and verbal cues can help as well. There is nothing wrong with giving your s type cues, especially at the beginning of training. You can also correct the s type as you see fit throughout the training process. People forget things and sometimes people need small reminders here and there. S types are no different.There can be a difference between willful disobedience and needing a correction. Some D types do not punish for minor corrections as long as it wasn’t due to willful disobedience.

The last technique I would like to talk to is Differential Reinforcement. DR focuses on giving positive reinforcement for a decrease in the undesired behavior, substitution of a preferred behavior, an increase in behaviors that prevent the undesired behavior, and absence of the undesired behavior.

This method allows one to be rewarded for progress.It allows for a lot of encouragement as the s type is trying to reach the set goal.

There is so much more I could say about these topics. Training can be much more complex than I am making it seem in this article. I am just trying to provide a brief overview of these techniques with the hope that others will ask questions, and do their own research to further their understanding.

It takes a lot of various resources, time, flexibility, patience, trial/error, communication, attentiveness, and mindfulness to train another person. Adults have already been conditioned by their childhood and their past experiences. It is a huge undertaking for a D type/Master to condition an s type contrary to what the s type already is doing and exhibiting. However, it can be done. It might just take going back to the drawing board a few times and/or using multiple techniques simultaneously and/or throughout the training process.

It should be noted though that training SHOULD NEVER cross an s type’s hard limits or put them in harm’s way-physically, emotionally, or mentally. An s type’s own timing should be considered and they should not be asked to do something or train on something that would be unhealthy for them.Training can be challenging for the s type, but it has to be something that the s type can realistically and healthily take on and consents to taking on.

As always, feel free to ask questions and leave comments. Thanks for reading and stay tuned!

About the Author:

Slave Bunny, a 1950’s power slave, is involved in a wonderful and loving TPE 24/7 M/S relationship with her Master and husband. She is also the Creative Director of Kink Weekly.

She has dedicated her life to working on herself mentally, spiritually, and physically, and hopes to inspire others to do the same. Through teaching and mentoring, she hopes to help everyone in the Kink community as much as she can.

Feel free to add her on Fetlife (Slave_Bunny992) to see her upcoming workshops and classes.

Pro Dommes at DomCon LA

May 7, 2018 By Baadmaster 4 Comments

With Mistress Cyan’s DomConLA coming up this week, it might be time to discuss the growing number of Pro Dommes in our community. Of course, as the popularity of DomCon has exploded over the years, it is not only for Dommes anymore. There are people attending from every part of the BDSM spectrum. That is what makes it fun. Still, the most obvious BDSMers are the Dommes, both pro and lifestyle – after all, who can ignore latex clad Dommes in their nine inch stiletto heels?!!! In this article, I will concentrate on the Pro Dommes, as they are making their presence known on all social media – especially Twitter.

Pro Dommes. Now here is a BDSM subject that is rarely written about. Yet, professional Dommes and bondage go together like chocolate chips and ice cream. Just go to any lifestyle convention – like DomCon in both Los Angeles and New Orleans — and you will see more pro Dommes than you can shake a stick (or cane) at. Not only are pro Dommes plentiful, but – given their sexsational outfits – they are among the most flamboyant and hot members of our community. And they are one part of our community that keeps many D/s protocols alive. If we had to depend on the Fifty Shades people…need I say more?

The reason for this article isn’t to hawk the wares of pro Dommes (they do a fine job, thank you), but rather to spotlight another service other than just giving a sub a beating he/she can’t get conveniently at home. (Although this is a rather popular aspect of pro Dommery!)

I am often asked, “How does one learn about BDSM play?” Obviously, reading the articles on kinkweekly.com, going to a commercial dungeon, being mentored and talking to people in the lifestyle are the best ways. There is, however, another often overlooked approach to “learning the ropes” – going to a pro Domme. Let me explain.

Let’s say you are a newbie Dom and sub. By hiring a pro Domme, you can see exactly how a professional Top uses the tools of torment in a safe and controlled environment; you can learn how to properly scene by experiencing it upfront and personal.

I recommend you only hire a professional who works out of a reputable dungeon, or one with references or one you connect with at DomConLA! One advantage of a convention is that there are many Dommes to choose from and you can meet them face-to-face. You can also ask lots of questions – and asking questions is the best way to get an understanding of any subject.

Working with a pro Domme is not only a unique — and fun — way of learning for a beginner, but it can also work for the more advanced player. As every Dominatrix has a specialty, you can hire one who is an expert in an advanced area – such as edge play – that you want to learn. I personally know a Master who learned needle play from a pro Domme. You do not have to become the Pro Domme’s submissive to hire her; you can pay for her time just to learn. Just ask and you will find out if this arrangement is acceptable.

If you are wondering why I say pro Domme and not pro Dom, it is because there are not a lot of pro Doms floating around. Sorry guys, the fantasy of making a living by spanking women for a fee is a hard one to fulfill. And, though there are a few professional Doms around (many are riggers for BDSM photo shoots), most dungeons specialize in pro Dommes. Such is life.

This is but a small preview of DomConLA – and in it I offered a new way to approach Pro Dommes to expand your BDSM experience. Obviously, not every Pro Domme will agree to be a “mentor for hire.” But as I said in last week’s article, “One size does not fit all.”

I might add an invitation: if you are attending DomConLA this week, I will be hosting a panel discussion (shameless plug) on “Are We All Switches?” at the convention next Saturday at 6 PM.

It is a live extension of my kinkweekly.com article of the same name. In it I opened:

“I think that, in our modern society, it is nearly impossible for anyone to be Dominant 24/7. For example, many Dom/mes work for corporations and thus – unless they own the firm – have a boss. When Dominants, no matter how Toppy, are told at the DMV, “Go to this line,” chances are they will comply. Get a call from the IRS, they will jump like a submissive hit with a single tail. Get stopped by a cop for a ticket, who becomes submissive? Thus, most Dom/mes, whether they admit it or not, have “submissive events” in their lives.”

Join the discussion. It should be informative, entertaining and fun!

By BaadMaster
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

This week in kink, April 30, 2018

April 30, 2018 By Desdemona 5 Comments

Former Dominatrix, Kasia Urbaniak, opens a school in NYC in order to empower individuals using what she learned as a Dominatrix. Click here to read more about her school.

6 of the Most Common Sexual Fantasies (according to sex therapists) among men and women. Click here to read more.

Learn more about HuCow, the Fetish that imagines women as cows. Click here to find out more.

Blacksmith saves business by making awesome BDSM contraptions and kinky toys. Click here to read more about his work.

Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, collarings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to news@kinkweekly.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink”

Ernest Greene and Nina Hartley Interview on The Truth About O

April 30, 2018 By slave_bunny 15 Comments

Slave Bunny: Can you tell us in your own words what the piece is about?

Ernest: What you’re seeing here is a segment of a new book I’m writing, working title, The Truth About O, that is a collection of both personal experiences with the individuals involved and recollections of those who were members of one of Europe’s actual existing societies of O. My contact there and a number of other people I spoke to subsequently confirmed that there are about 50 such societies of O scattered all over Europe. Many of them, most especially the one in France, have been there for a very long time. So, the actual lead here is that “Story of O” really is more fact than fiction and its practices live on today.

Slave Bunny: So, you’re saying these societies still exist today all over Europe?

Nina: Oh, yes. Very active.

Ernest: Extremely so.

Nina: They hold regular soirees.

Slave Bunny: Can you tell us more about the O’s?

Ernest: Those who identify as O’s don’t consider themselves slaves by our definition and standards.They have their own, what they call “The Philosophy,” as described in the original “Story of O.” The emphasis is on constant sexual availability. The initiation of a new O and the events leading up to it are considered fairly typical for these groups. One of the most startling things about reading this material was how different what they think of as normal is from what we think of as normal when it comes to BDSM.

Ernest : The excerpt that you have is translated virtually untouched from the German original. Sabrina turned out to be an extraordinary writer. Her accounts required very little editing. What you have is first-person testimony from somebody who has great credibility and was actually present at the events she describes.

Nina: She had to go through the ritual herself. Every woman did who became an O. The initiation of Cora stands in for the initiation of every woman who becomes an O. Later on we see how they’re trained for the occasion.

Slave Bunny: Did the O’s live at “The Castle” full time? I know Cora had a husband. Is it specific to whatever is negotiated?

Ernest: As I understand it, there are a few who do more or less live in the luxurious quarters maintained by these groups, but most of them don’t. The majority attends parties and has sessions with men who they regard as their Owners, but lead otherwise conventional lives. Often they are married, as was Cora, to somebody else who has no idea that they have this life. Europe is one of those places where you can still have a secret life.

Ernest: These are all people of a class that are privileged in ways Americans would find hard to imagine. For instance, I’m quite certain the authorities are aware of the existence of these groups and who’s in them, but wouldn’t dream of interfering in any way precisely because of who’s in them. It seems that most of the men are wealthy and well connected. Some of them are politicians. Some of them are financiers.

Nina: Some of them are captains of industry.

Ernest : Big shots of one kind or another. The women are pretty much of the same class.

Nina: What’s also fascinating is that unlike American BDSM, where there’s often a romantic component between the submissive partner and the dominant partner, in these societies, it is discouraged to be in love with your Owner.

Ernest: Or even to get seriously involved with anyone else who’s there.

Nina: And the women are not encouraged to make friendships. The other women’s problems are strictly their own problems.

Ernest: There’s also a competitive aspect to life at court. There are some distinct advantages that women who are willing to sign on for this program enjoy because these wealthy, well-connected men, in part, give something in return for what they get in terms of helping these women with their careers and introducing them to places where they might be able to work things to their advantage. It is a sort of sexual feudalism under which the women agree to obey and endure and service whatever desires these gentlemen may have.

Nina: And enjoy it. They are supposed to enjoy it. An O is a kind of masochistic courtesan or geisha who needs to bring a certain passion and creativity to keep the Masters entertained and interested. Safe to say that, aside from a little play among the girls, it’s a totally hetero-normative dynamic that harks back to an earlier era. Europe has a public BDSM scene not much different from our own, but it’s mainly for young people and doesn’t overlap with the O crowd.

Ernest: Most of the women seem to take pleasure in the game because so many of them have been involved in it for a very long time. In return for what they surrender their men are obligated in that feudal way to see to their welfare, to protect them and to take care of them in any way they can be helpful to them. This arrangement is pretty religiously observed on both sides. It’s a serious matter for either side to fail to perform on the expected feudal arrangement. Guys can get kicked out. Women can get kicked out. Anyone can get kicked out. Also, the O’s have a safeword that they were given when they were initiated. However, they can only use it once. If they do, they’re expelled from the society. But what kind of safeword is that really? Is that consent as we understand it?

Slave Bunny: No.

Ernest: Contrary to what Americans may believe, Sabrina states in her description (and all other women whom we corresponded with agreed) that they were there by consent, that they could leave any time, and that they wouldn’t be there if they didn’t want to be. So, it’s a sort of blanket consent until withdrawn. Once withdrawn, it’s withdrawn permanently.

Nina: One hundred percent. Instantly. Your clothes are put on. You’re put in the car. You leave and that’s it.

Ernest: And you can never come back nor will you be welcome in any of the other O societies.

Nina: It’s their version of consent, which differs greatly with how Americans conceive of consent.

Ernest: These are very exclusive groups. You can only join by invitation and they only take in members of their own class. Alexander, in the book, describes what’s required for either a man or a woman to become a member of any of these groups. It’s a fairly rigorous process. They have multiple meetings with prospects and then there’s a board that votes, like a country club, whether or not you and/or your partner will be welcomed.

Ernest: And if so, you can look forward to spending a lot of money. One way in which potential members are admitted is on the basis of whether they can afford it. The last figures that were quoted to us from Alexander were something along the lines of 15,000 Euro to get in and another 5,000 Euro a year to stay in plus any expenses accumulated if you want to say, throw a party for yourself or have some kind of an event or a session. That’s all ala carte. It’s not unusual for men who are eager participants in these things to spend 100,000 Euro a year on their “hobby.”

Slave Bunny: It’s like a BDSM fraternity or sorority almost.

Nina: Yes, exactly.

Slave Bunny: Was this society supposed to be kept very secret and under the radar?

Ernest: Absolutely. Again, I’m quite certain that the local authorities in all of these locations were and are very much aware of the existence of these groups and their activities. They’ve also always been aware that these groups are managed by and for a class still more or less untouchable in that part of the world.

Ernest: These guys seem to have some understanding of where the edge is that you don’t go over. They go right to that edge, but don’t go where you really would get in trouble. But they do some things that are pretty daring.

Slave Bunny: Like what?

Ernest: Paradoxically, they seem to love doing things in public places. When they take their O’s out in public, they’re basically dressed in almost nothing.

Nina: They’re barely legal. No underwear.

Ernest: Everything transparent. And when they go to a restaurant for dinner, they play games requiring the women to unbutton their blouses and lean over when the waiter comes and other stuff of that kind. In The League they liked to send one of the O’s into the men’s restroom in a nice restaurant with orders to strip naked and give a blowjob to the first man who knocks on the door of the stall, no matter who he is. This became a great favorite.

Ernest: They all got a kick out of it. The men would choose someone from the restaurant. Generally someone they either knew personally or was a friend of a friend they were having dinner with and say, “By the way, when you go to the restroom, check out the last stall. You’ll get a big surprise.”

Nina: When I visited Alexander in London I intended to try that out. I dressed for the occasion just as he’d instructed by email, which is to say in as little as possible. But after dinner we ended up in his hotel room having fun of our own. I don’t know if that makes me a good O or a bad one, but we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Alexander is quite charming and we both had a great time, but it’s a lot different being an O for a day and living “The Philosophy”.

Ernest: And not all their games were so benign and playful. There also is a reference in the excerpt about organized hunts. There were women in these groups who had done three or four hunts and lost them all. They had to assume after the second or third loss that they were never going to win.

Slave Bunny: But they liked it so they kept up with it.

Nina: Exactly.

Ernest: These people’s idea of fun is a little rougher than ours.

Slave Bunny: Could you further explain these hunts that are mentioned in the excerpt?

Ernest: Sure. A society holds a hunt in the woods of Romania where one of the O’s is turned loose naked in the forest. This is not a thing that can be required. The O has to volunteer for it.

Nina: And whomever has volunteered for the hunt gets a map and a head start and nothing else.

Ernest: If she makes it to a safe zone where there’s a vehicle waiting for her, she gets 10,000 Euro, which actually isn’t a whole lot of money for most of these women. I don’t think that was really the main motivation. That’s just the prize if she manages to elude the entire male compliment of that organization hunting her in the forest.

Ernest: If the hunters get to her before she reaches her safe zone they have her for 24 hours to do anything they want with her. We’ve seen photographs of some of the losing contestants that would be pretty shocking even to those familiar with edge play and CNC.

Nina: Everything is permitted short of permanent damage.

Ernest: I would consider O’s in general more on the masochistic scale than submissive. Though their sexual services can be commanded at any time and there are elaborate rules concerning dress and deportment, their attitudes and responses are expected to be spontaneous and authentic.

Nina: They can talk back. They can be cheeky. They have to comply with most physical demands, but they tend to have strong personalities and their own opinions on things. They risk punishment for insubordination, but from all the punishment that goes on I infer that insubordination is pretty common.

Slave Bunny: So, the Owners didn’t try to train them into somebody else or strip them of who they were as long as they were performing their services?

Ernest: Right.

Slave Bunny: What do you feel, I know you touched on it a little bit earlier when you were talking about sexual feudalism, is the main allure for women wanting to join these societies?

Nina: For some of the women it was boredom.

Ernest: There was a measure of adventurism in this also.

Nina: And there’s that masochism thing. In the novel, the whole idea of physical pleasure from extreme sensations was dismissed. But every one of the women we came to know got wet at the thought of a whipping. And I definitely related to the protected exhibitionism thing. That’s another aspect of class privilege. Alexander put me on display in that London restaurant that would have gotten me arrested here. This definitely put me in the mood for what happened upstairs after dinner.

Ernest: O’s overall seem pretty ambitious and daring. The word they use most frequently for the ordeals they’re put through is “challenges.” And connections of the men certainly further the ambitions of the women both in the groups and in the outside world.

Ernest: To be fair, there are also genuinely committed Master/slave couples admitted as well. For some of them it’s a combination of role-play and a kinky form of swinging. Others take “The Philosophy” very seriously.

Nina: They have piercings, tattoos and fresh marks to show off at any time or place. I found it very unusual that women who were mostly conventionally attractive didn’t mind having a few lasting scars as trophies of their wild good times.

Ernest: There were couples in these groups and then there were others who were genuinely emotionally attached and others who were couples of convenience.

Slave Bunny: What do you find most fascinating about all of this?

Ernest: It’s really an extraordinary story for a lot of reasons. Not the least of which is that it establishes a lineage for the O narrative that precedes the actual book. It’s also a visit to an alternate universe familiar in many ways but crucially different in others.

Slave Bunny: Around what year did the events in the book take place?

Nina: Well past 2000, certainly.

Ernest: All events in our book happened in the last 15 years. However, returning to the key things here, what we see now quite clearly is that Pauline Reage’s book was based on something real. The societies existed long before her writing. My best guess is at least a century, based on the fact that Sir Franklin, who was the head of the group and in his sixties at the time of the events in The Truth About O, was the son of a Master and an O. So, going back even one generation puts the existence of The League in the late 19th century. My best guess is that various “libertinage societies” such as The Hellfire Club go back to the 18th Century. The fact that Story of O describes something that actually exists and has for so long, despite the author’s insistence that she wrote pure fiction, is the most startling revelation in the book.

Slave Bunny: One final question, what do you feel is the biggest benefit of people knowing about all this and how do you feel it could/will change the way we think about power exchange? In short, what can we learn from this?

Ernest: Well, for a start, it turns the romanticized notions about Reage’s novel, which has been a template for many M/s relationships, pretty much on their heads. And it’s a useful reminder that the world of online BDSM is not the only venue in which BDSM exists. Lately, I have observed the community here to become increasingly ideological and doctrinaire, and there seems to have been a loss of connection with its fundamental roots in human desire. It’s become a kind of a social activity. One thing we might learn from them is an acceptance of why we do what we do. There’s a lot of talk in the community about “non-sexual BDSM” I find somewhat suspect. The O societies recognize the central importance of sex, particularly group sex, as the motivating force behind everything they do. There isn’t much emphasis on sophisticated BDSM technique or sensation play. It’s pretty much all about whipping and sexual servitude. I don’t propose this as a universal dynamic, but when people use words like “primal” to describe their dynamics I think it would be useful for them to see what “primal” looks like from a more ancient point of view.

Slave Bunny: Do you have anything to add, Nina?

Nina: We can learn that we know less than we think we do by exploring the differences between the American style of play and the European style, partly due to the different ages of our cultures. European culture is 2000 years old and American culture is barely 400 years old. We’re very new and young. We haven’t worked through our Puritanism yet and we haven’t worked through our conflict over desire and power. In Europe, I think they’ve made their peace with it and it has a place. We haven’t made our peace with it, and there is no place.

Ernest: My final comment would be to ask people to try and read this without judgment. It’s not only the O’s who are tested by the rigors of their commitments. Without giving away any spoilers I can say that something unexpected and quite dire befalls and these men rise to the occasion like Knights of the Round Table. They prove beyond a doubt that perverts can be heroes. I would say if there’s one thing that this book proves at the very end, it’s that good guys too wear black.

About Ernest and Nina:

Ernest Greene is the author of the well-renowned novel for Daedalus Publishing, Master of O, reinventing the BDSM classic Story of O set in modern Los Angeles and told from the master’s point of view. His previous work includes co-authoring Coming Attractions, the Making of an X-Rated Video with Dr. Robert Stoller (Yale University Press, 1989) and shared credit with his spouse, Nina Hartley on Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex (2006), from Avery Press, a division of USA Penguin Group.

Greene is a longtime member of the Los Angeles BDSM community, joining Threshold when it was still an affiliate of The Society of Janus. He served six terms as Threshold coordinator between 1989 and 1995. He continued to do orientations for new members thereafter and participated in numerous outreaches to academic groups.

Since 1985, Greene has concentrated his efforts mainly in adult entertainment and adult sex education, serving as Executive Editor of the best-selling fetish magazine Hustler’s Taboo since 1999 and most recently as Chief Associate Editor for Hustler’s All-Sex issues.

Ernest Greene, has participated in the production of adult video for three decades as a performer, writer, director and producer. His body of work comprises over five hundred titles, including AVN award winners Strictly for Pleasure, Mask of Innocence, Tristan Taormino’s Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women and Jenna Loves Pain. With his wife, Nina Hartley, he has served as producer and director of the Nina Hartley’s Guide series of adult sex education programs for video market leader Adam&Eve Pictures. The series has sold over three quarters of a million videos to date and now comprises forty titles. His own erotic features for Adam&Eve, O – The Power of Submission, Surrender of O and The Truth About O have thus far seen sales nearing 100,000 units, making them among the biggest selling X-rated feature titles in recent years.

Greene is particularly well known for his groundbreaking approach to the presentation of unconventional sexuality related to consensual domination and submission. He has been active in the BDSM community for nearly thirty years, conducting workshops and seminars and serving as an officer of community groups. He is a retired six-term coordinator of Threshold, Southern California’s oldest active pansexual BDSM organization. His activism also extends to the world of adult video production, where he held the position of chairman of the board of directors of The Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation (AIM) for seven years and to his commentaries on the adult industry Blog for Pro-Porn Activism.

Nina Hartley is a pioneering feminist sex worker, using her body in the service of promoting a sexually sane and literate society. She is thrilled to see a new generation of sex-positive performer/activists take its space and spread the good news about sex. Active as a performer since 1982, her rock-solid commitment to the importance of sexual autonomy has fueled Ms. Hartley’s career in adult entertainment. As a performer, director, writer, educator, public speaker, and feminist thinker for all, no matter their orientation, she’s traveled the world to deliver her message. She believes that sexual freedom is a fundamental human right and welcomes the new social media opportunities for spreading her message of knowledge and empowerment to the widest number of people. She’s the author of, “Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex,” from Avery Press. Putting to use her B.S. degree in nursing, she and her husband, Ernest Greene, have produced the million-selling sex-ed video series collectively known as “The Nina Hartley Guides,” from Adam & Eve, currently in its 38th episode. Still active in front of the camera, she and her husband live in Los Angeles.

Ernest’s Website: masterofo.com

Be sure to check out an excerpt from their Erotic Non-Fiction novel titled The Initiation of Cora.

Click here to read Part 1.

The Initiation of Cora: Part 1

April 30, 2018 By Ernest Greene and Nina Hartley 9 Comments

The dark desire is made up of feelings we normally resist. It is an ambivalent and intense form of pleasure. And it is addicting.” – Alexander, the Consigliere.”

This story is taken from my life. I have changed only names and locations for the protection of those who have meant so much to me. I hope to help the willing reader understand us all better. I recognize that events recounted in this story will not make mine an easy task, but I am not about that which is done easily.

Vienna and surrounding area

The sun was shining and from the heated cabin of my Audi TT. I drove south on the old Trieste highway through the industrial area of South Vienna. I had an appointment with Federico, my mentor from The League, in our community’s “castle,” which was actually more of a huge, old estate, in which The L’s headquarters were located.

Though it looked like spring through the windows of a heated car, it was icy cold outside. As always, the wind blew across the lower Austrian plain and kicked up dust clouds here and there. There wasn’t much snow left on the ground, only crusty, hard remains in the shadows. I was assigned to pick up Cora on the way.

Cora.

I’d known her less than a month but was already intrigued by her. Cora was in her early twenties, a bit younger than me. She was slender like me and a bit taller. She had a wonderfully bright complexion, long, straight dark hair, and fascinating greenish-blue eyes. She also had large, firm and delightfully round breasts adorned by the most beautiful nipples I had ever seen. They were rosy, long and nearly always erect.

Cora worked for an advertising agency in Vienna owned by a huge printing company belonging to her husband’s family. Albert, her husband, was only twenty-eight and already working on his second marriage. I would have liked to know what went wrong with Albert’s first attempt at matrimony but Cora rarely spoke of him at all and I didn’t press details. I suspected history would soon repeat itself where Albert was concerned. Cora didn’t seem a particularly happy wife. If she had been, she wouldn’t be making this journey with me.

Cora was brought into The League by Alexander under unusual circumstances. Alexander was not only a virtual brother to Federico, my mentor, but also a respected adviser, organizer and philosopher in all matters concerning The L. I was far from the only one to benefit from his advice. His network of important contacts stretched far beyond its boundaries. “The Consigliere” wasn’t only his nickname in our group. Anyone who has seen “The Godfather” or read the book that inspired the film will understand. Where there is power there is need of wisdom. Alexander was the source of wisdom to many in different walks of life.

Where does wisdom come from? Unlike some I members, to whom “Story of O” was holy writ of which they’d memorized nearly every word, The Consigliere wasn’t much interested in the The League’s bible. He seemed to know and understand it better than anyone else involved, but was more interested in the psychological and mental aspects of the life it described, rather than the physical acts so important to everyone else. He was more curious about the women who were drawn to this life. He viewed his own physical desires and moods in a similarly detached way, which was quite the contrast compared to the other men I knew, who were nothing if not self-absorbed. This is not to he didn’t take advantage of the opportunities – the treasures one might say – his unique position afforded him.

Other women had confirmed my instinct about this. The Consigliere was renowned as a damn good fuck. He had a cock that was just the right size and thickness, nicely shaped and very well groomed. Even the smell and taste of him seemed to leave a lasting good impression.

Please excuse me. I’m losing my train of thought, as tends to happen when I think about sex. Many men may command me from time to time, but my cunt rules me always.

Back to Cora.

Escorting her was something of an honor. I had never seen the Consigliere bring a woman into The L to make her an O. It was just as uncommon that Cora’s husband had absolutely no clue about any of this.

I followed the directions until I arrived at a large, green-painted metal gate. It opened silently and I drove up the cobbled road into the estate. Everything here smelled like money. At the end of the winding drive stood a spacious, architecturally modern house with vast windows and a wonderful view all the way down to Baden. In the doorway stood a tall, fit-looking reddish-blond, man wearing horn-rimmed glasses. He was well dressed in grey flannel slacks with perfectly ironed creases, a white shirt and a blue cable-knit cashmere sweater.

He examined me casually as I got out of my car, as he would have either the car or me with the intention of acquiring either or both.

I wore a black coat with a fur collar but underneath only a skin-tight, black sheath-dress, which left no doubt I was completely naked underneath. You could have seen even the most delicate underwear through this material. I’d accessorized it with black stay-up stockings and Bordeaux-red peep-toe shoes. They matched my tightly worn velvet collar, which had a silver ring at the front. I had also affixed a red clip in my blond hair, a slightly whimsical touch of the sort I enjoyed showing off in solemn circumstances.

“Good morning,” I greeted him cheerfully. “I’m Cora’s ride to the Soiree.”

If the man registered my ironic tone – for it was Cora who would be ridden in due time – he didn’t show it.

“Please come in,” he said pleasantly with a sweeping gesture of his right arm. “You’re Sabrina, right?”

He had a German accent. As I write these words in German this may seem a peculiar observation, but to any Austrian that accent is as unmistakable as the tri-color flag.

“Yes. And you’re Albert?”

He nodded and stepped to the side. The foyer was at least as large as my living room.

“Cora is almost ready. May I help you out of your coat?”

I let him pull the coat off my shoulders and hang it up, trying not to smile too obviously as he looked me over in even greater detail. I enjoy being looked at, especially by those who for whom a look would be the best for which they might hope.

We continued into a sleek, all-steel kitchen adequate to a small restaurant. He offered me some coffee while we waited for the advent of Cora.

“Yes, please. Espresso. Black with no sugar.”

I had a look around, enjoying the view through the kitchen’s glass wall. There was a broad marble terrace outside, and below that a large swimming pool.

I was well aware how my ass cheeks showed through the dress and wasn’t surprised to feel his gaze on me.

“Cora’s told me a bit about you. She likes and admires you very much. She says she wants to be just like you.”

I highly doubted that, couldn’t quite smother a laugh.

“Thank you, and Cora also, but I’m not exactly a suitable role-model.”

This time Albert laughed.

“I imagine that would depend on the intended role.”

He leaned back against the kitchen counter and studied me uninhibitedly from top to bottom.

“So, this seminar you’re attending over the weekend; what does one learn there?”

I looked at him with a raised eyebrow and set the coffee cup down. How much did Albert already know? How much was I meant to tell him? Not much and as little as possible, I presumed. His gaze lingered on my thighs. The dress ended a short distance above where my stockings began. If I were to have sat down on one of the barstools at the long marble counter, I would have been quite exposed, given my lack of panties.

“It’s about self-discovery: mental power, inner confidence, overcoming difficult challenges. It’s about becoming a stronger woman.”

He lifted his eyes to mine and laughed humorlessly.

“Ah. A typical women’s seminar, yes?”

I smirked. As I’d surmised, he was clueless.

“More than you think, my dear.”

I tried to imagine the look on his face if he could see his Cora naked, hanging from a hook on the ceiling, as the men whipped her. She would feel the lash for the first time in front of others this weekend, the Consigliere had said.

“Well, I hope you have fun. Unfortunately on Sunday I have to leave on a business trip. I’ll be gone all next week.”

“Don’t worry. Cora will learn and experience many new things to occupy her attention.”

And you won’t be able to admire her welts when she gets back.

“Are you talking about me?”
Cora appeared on the steps, walking almost silent in her stockings.

Albert looked a bit irritated when he noticed that Cora and I wore nearly identical dresses. It was a lot more spectacular on Cora, her amazing breasts filling it out to the point of exposing much more of her anatomy than mine. Thank God she wore a black scarf over her shoulders. Albert would surely have seen how temptingly her large nipples showed through the thin material. He might have asked even more questions I’d have to evade.

“My bag is already in the foyer, I just need to grab my shoes,” she said, as casually as if we were going skiing for the weekend.

We said our goodbyes at the front door. Cora kissed her husband lightly on the cheek, threw her bag in the back seat and slipped elegantly into the TT.

I was concerned that Albert would observe as we got in the car that neither of us wore any undergarments, but he turned around and disappeared into the house before I could even start the motor. That little glimpse of Albert’s departing back told me all I needed to know about Cora’s marriage.

We were barely to the street when Cora shrugged the scarf from her shoulders, reached into her purse and pulled out a blue velvet collar. The collar was identical to mine except for the color, which matched her royal blue pumps perfectly.

“May I smoke in the Car, Sabrina?”

“No, my dear. And because you have your legs crossed, you will now spread them as far apart as you can. Then you can lift your ass and slide the dress up. Now!”

She looked at me, terrified.

“But you can see in through the top of this car and…”

“Do it now or you’ll be sitting there naked the entire trip as I drive next to every semi-truck I can find. Do you understand?”

She sighed in a lovely way as her ass-cheeks touched the leather seat. Anyone passing us on the right would be treated to a spectacular view. I would enjoy sharing it with them. I do have a sadistic side to which the masters are oblivious, though it’s common knowledge to the other Os.

As we drove through the rolling countryside Cora told me her version of how she and the Consigliere met by chance at a party. She was waiting for Albert to pick her up and take her to dinner but he was delayed. Alexander had gotten her a fresh drink and invited her to sit down with a couple of other men he knew from work.

According to Cora, an entertaining if superficial conversation unfolded and one drink led to another. Albert never did show up or even call. Alexander invited Cora, who was more bored than impatient, to go for a cup of coffee. She found him a sophisticated and pleasant conversationalist but no one she would expect, or hope, to encounter again. Such is the perpetual ambivalence of women like us. No doubt a receiver she didn’t know she possessed had picked up a signal that Alexander always broadcast effortlessly.

Just three weeks ago, so she said, she had told Alexander in a tone of utter conviction that she would NEVER let anyone hit her. Now she sat beside me knowing she would soon be whipped in front of an audience. Yesterday on the phone, she admitted that she was addicted to the Consigliere’s cock.

Exactly how the Consigliere was able to inspire Cora’s sudden change of heart, I do not know. A certain special propensity must already exist in us, meaning it cannot simply be sown and then watched ‘til it grows.

There are men that know about these mysterious inclinations. They recognize the dark desire deep within us and know how to expose it.

To liberate this desire is yet a completely different thing. It takes courage, strength and personal charisma and requires these attributes in us also. And the circumstances in our lives must permit the process to occur. It’s much harder for a single mother with two children to live out her fantasies than for a carefree model and part-time student like me.

Cora seemed right for Alexander’s intentions in many ways, including her initial resistance to them and the speed with which it collapsed. But we wouldn’t know for sure if his instincts were as correct as usual until Cora’s fantasies were tested against the realities of being an O.

Twenty minutes later found us stuck in traffic on the Südautobahn. There was an accident ahead. Cora tugged nervously at the seam of her dress. Her pussy, decorated only with a miniature strip of dark hair, was quite visible against the black leather of the seat. When we pulled alongside a Polish tour bus she looked to me for mercy.

“Forget it, baby.”

I glanced at the clock and scrunched my nose. We were in danger of arriving late. Sir Franklin, the Lord of The Castle, would punish us for this irrespective of Alexander’s plans for later. All too familiar with this game I worried less about myself then about Cora.

The sun disappeared and it began to rain lightly. Ten minutes later the outside thermometer read three degrees Celsius, the rain slowly turning to snowfall. Perfect weather for Sir’s style of punishment.

Cora noticed my uneasy glances at the clock. “Are we late?”

“Yes.”

“We should call, no?”

I shook my head.

“That won’t help.”

Cora shrugged her shoulders.

“Then the men will just have to wait.”

I nodded.

“That they will, waiting to punish us when we arrive.”

“Punish us? What for?”

“Punctuality is an important requirement at The Castle.”

“But there was traffic. You can’t do anything about that. It would be unfair to punish you.”

I had to laugh.

“That doesn’t matter, believe me. And it’s not just me who will be punished.”

Now she looked at me, surprised and apprehensive.

“What they will do to us?”

“Better not to know. Try to relax for now and be brave when we get there, okay?”

She set her pretty little jaw as steadfastly as she could and continued to pull nervously at her dress.

We arrived a full twenty-five minutes overdue. It was snowing heavily and the icy wind blew strong as we approached The Castle. It was invisible from the country road. The overgrown bushes were so high it was impossible to guess what lay behind, which was probably for the best. I turned onto the gravel track and drove around the curve through a high wrought iron gate mounted between two concrete columns, each more than three meters tall. A chain link fence connected to the columns encircled the entire compound. I’d heard it could be electrically charged, which was entirely possible though likely intended to keep people out rather than in. Besides the girls in residence, Sir Franklin possessed an expensive art collection accumulated by his family over several decades.

The gigantic Herrmann stood next to it with Imre, the small, fat sixty-year-old Hungarian man who always looked unwashed and unkempt. They took care of maintaining Sir Franklin’s estate. Both wore wool hats, gloves and anoraks.

“Listen, Cora,” I warned, “you must do exactly what they tell you without any questions or backtalk. Anything you say at this point will only make things worse. Understood?”

“No.”

“A word you would be wise to forget.”

I stopped at the gate and rolled down the window. Herrmann merely looked at the clock and gestured for us to get out of the car.

“Twenty-seven minutes, ladies. Please remove your clothes. All of them. Both of you.”

I took off my coat immediately and threw it in the car. Cora stared at me, paralyzed with fear and confusion

“Now!” I hissed at her over the roof of the TT.

“Follow Imre.”

Herrmann drove the car towards the great house, more than a kilometer from the gate. Inside the gate a tractor was parked just off the asphalt. This was Imre’s favorite toy. Two other men dressed in work clothes similar to Imre’s stood by. Imre waved us over to the tractor. A pair of ropes hung from the back of it to the ground. Imre had us stand, naked and shivering, behind the tractor. He cuffed our hands behind our backs with heavy police manacles.

The men grinned at us in a way as dirty they were. Cora screamed as one of them began to squeeze her breasts and then abruptly grabbed her crotch. Already her first mistake.

A step ahead of him, I pointed my breasts in his direction and spread my legs for easier access to my pussy. Unlike Cora, I had been through this before.

The guy drilled his fingers into my hole and seemed surprised to find me soaking wet. There was a time when that would have surprised me too.

They tied the ropes around our middles, feeding the loose ends over the waist cinches and between our legs. As usual, it was the rough hemp they favored. I don’t know where they found it – Japan I suppose – but it was unique for its prickliness. They threaded it out over the front of the constricting loop around our bellies, forming a uniquely uncomfortable harness right where we wouldn’t have wanted it. Then they tightened the hemp deep in our crotches, biting into our clits and anuses so it would rub painfully with every step on the walk we were about to take. Cora stood completely stiff, staring at me with huge eyes. She squeaked again softly as her guy finished his rope-work and pinched her very stiff nipples. From there the ropes hung slack to the tail of the tractor, but not for long.

Imre and the boys jumped on the tractor, cranked the noisy starter and put the machine in gear. A tractor doesn’t move very fast, but fast enough to force us into a light trot. The rope between our legs was hellish as we stumbled behind it. The cold ground under our bare feet made everything worse.

About two hundred meters beyond the gate Imre turned left onto a path through a field. I sighed a little. The hope that we’d merely have to run behind the tractor for a kilometer on the gravel road was shattered. Cora began to gasp and sob.

“It… it hurts so bad, Sabrina, please… oh God…”

“Knock it off. Concentrate on moving. The more you balk and whine about it, the worse it gets.”

She staggered along next to me. I tried to run as bow-legged as possible. I knew nothing could make the trip less miserable but it’s human to try. The two Hungarians in the heated tractor watched us and laughed.

We stumbled along for more than a kilometer. Our feet felt like blocks of ice, feet that didn’t belong to us. Finally, we arrived at a small shed where Imre stored farm and landscape equipment.

The tractor stopped short and Cora fell momentarily to her knees. Through the dirt I could see the small wounds on her soles. Cora quaked like an aspen, unable to control her sobbing. I remained standing, trying to ignore the pain and the cold as best I could, but I couldn’t keep from shuddering violently. I always try to avoid giving such men the satisfaction of seeing me suffer.

The Hungarians dismounted. Imre went into the shed and the other two men, with their dirty grins and dirty hands, grabbed the ropes through our pussies. The guy next to Cora brutally pulled her to her feet by her hair.

My equally charming companion took me by the chin and turned my face towards his. He kneaded my breasts, pulled on my erect nipples then grabbed me brutally between the legs. Apparently he was expecting a reaction, but he would not receive one from me. I listened as Cora cried out next to me, beginning to beg, the thing I will not do. It only inflames their ugly desires.

“Ahhh… oww… please, don’t… no… ahhhh, please stop!”

My Hungarian placed his hand on my shoulder and forced me to the ground. Nothing subtle about that gesture. I went down on one knee and watched him unzip his pants. A stiff, thick cock with a red head jumped out. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the smell. I put my mouth over it and began to move my head back and forth, sucking with all the skills I’d acquired through so much practice. The man groaned. Good. This wouldn’t take long. In a couple of minutes he clutched me by the hair and started fucking my face. He hardly had time to enjoy choking me a bit before he shot his load into my throat. I swallowed everything. I don’t have to enjoy the work to take pride in it. As he pulled out I looked up at him with the same stoic gaze I’d given him before.

I listened behind me as Cora gagged and coughed. Her guy liked to curse and bark orders, as weak men do when some accident gives them a little power for a moment.

I was more concerned with Imre , who approached with two thin hazelnut branches, each more than a meter in length. When Cora’s guy finally finished, splattering her face as she turned away reflexively – a dangerous mistake but in this case immaterial as our punishment would soon get worse anyway. They brought over a large wooden block and laid me across it with my ass in the air.

Imre stepped in behind me and extended his arm. I closed my eyes. The branch whistled through the air and landed right across my backside. It burned like hell but I kept my lips tight and didn’t utter a sound. He did it again and again. I believe I took about two-dozen very severe strokes. Imre then stood in front of me, handing off both sticks to his henchmen.

“Now you get beating from others while you make me happy too. Good?”

I nodded, actually happy that the inexperienced Cora didn’t have to deal with that.

“Gari hit you, you blow me.”

Immediately I had his cock in my mouth as Gari beat my ass. He wasn’t as accurate as Imre, hitting my back and thighs as well. If he left marks that cost me work I’d make sure I wasn’t the only one who suffered. In our feudal world Imre was a serf and I was his lord’s property. He took longer to come than Gari needed for the two-dozen more strokes. As the hissing and thudding subsided and Cora continued crying, I gulped Imre’s sperm.

Cora looked over at me, finally, through tear-filled eyes.

“Sabrina… oh God… your butt…”

I just shrugged. The sticks had been light and I doubted there was any lasting damage to my hindquarters. When a girl is whipped often her ass becomes like a boxer’s hands, though much smoother we hope. Imre climbed back up on his beloved tractor and we marched on, searing pain burning our legs, and feet, all the way to The Castle. My tail feathers were in flames.

Click here for Part 2

About the Authors:

Ernest’s Website: masterofo.com

Sinister Insight Night’s Power Exchange Panel

March 12, 2018 By slave_bunny 6 Comments

I was privileged enough to have the opportunity to present a panel at Lair on power exchange last Friday. The panel had such an amazing turn out, and I was so honored that so many experienced and well-respected individuals within the community agreed to be on the panel with me.

This was my first time presenting a panel, so I honestly had no idea how it was going to go. When I teach, I can prepare exactly what I want to say and in what order, but I know that with a panel one has less power over that.

This can be a good or bad thing depending on the panelists. In this case, it was a very good thing. Because the panel was structured as an organic discussion, many topics were talked about that I would have not thought to bring up otherwise.

We talked about everything from negotiation to communication to punishment/discipline to protocols to rituals to vetting to the benefits of power exchange to the do’s/don’t for s types and D types and so much more. It was so amazing to hear everyone’s different perspectives on various topics and I am so grateful to have the amount of audience participation that we had. For the entire two hour panel the audience continued to ask intriguing questions and after the panel was over many people came up to us and continued to ask questions. The yearning to learn permeated throughout the room and truly kept the panel going.

What I loved most about the panel was that even if panelists disagreed with one another they were very polite about it and still accepted the other person’s view. No one treated the panel like a competition and everyone’s ego seemed to be checked at the door. Because of this we were able to really have a genuine discussion of power exchange and were able to promote a safe and positive environment for everyone that attended.

I just loved the overall acceptance and honesty I experienced from the audience and my fellow panelists. This is what made the experience so amazing. Because so many different perspectives were able to be presented the amount of learning that occurred was off the charts.

No one dominated the conversation either and there was so much respect from every person in the room.

I felt that others were just as grateful as I was to be there which made it even more fulfilling. How often can people have an open discussion for two hours about power exchange with so many different people’s insights and experiences?

I am sure there are a lot of people that talk about power exchange quite often, myself included, but I have never had the privilege of discussing it with so many people and with so many different people. These are the keys to learning- being open, accepting, and willing to listen to different perspectives. In my opinion, these are the main ways people grow and expand their own horizons and the horizon’s of their dynamics.

Again, I can’t thank Kasod, Lair for our being wonderful host, my fellow panelists, and all who attended enough. This was one of my favorite memories I have had within the community.

If anyone wants to keep the conversation going about the panel, please feel free to comment below, or Fetlife me.

I am also proud to announce that I will be presenting another panel at Lair later in the year. When the date is set, I will definitely post the event page on my Fet.

Have a great week everyone! As always, thanks for reading and stay tuned!

Speakers/Panelists:

Birdy – https://fetlife.com/users/2341651

Jenn – https://fetlife.com/users/811117

akinkshrink.com

Disunito – https://fetlife.com/users/240430

Master Anthony – https://fetlife.com/users/499361

slave Robin – https://fetlife.com/users/1004295

Kasod- contact for Sinister Insight Night – https://fetlife.com/users/442690

About the Author:

Slave Bunny, a 1950’s power slave, is involved in a wonderful and loving TPE 24/7 M/S relationship with her Master and husband. She is also the Creative Director of Kink Weekly.

Feel free to add her on Fetlife (Slave_Bunny992) to see her upcoming workshops and classes.

The Recipe for Imparted Presence

March 5, 2018 By slave_bunny 4 Comments

Hi everyone! I am writing this article to educate readers about one of the most essential things needed (in my opinion) to have a long-term 24/7 power exchange relationship.

A lot of people believe that M/s relationships are about micro-management leading to macro-management. What I mean by this is that at the beginning of a dynamic and/or during training phrases, the slave may have to be more micromanaged, given more direction, told step by step what to do/what is expected of them, the Master may have to check every detail/step to make sure things are done correctly, etc.

There is nothing wrong with this, and if a dynamic wanted to keep being micro-managed that is completely okay (as long as the dynamic is not based on fear or distrust). Please note, power exchange dynamics should never be based on fear or distrust. Power exchange dynamics should promote a sense of safety and trust for all involved, and these two things should flourish as time goes on. If this is not happening, and someone is repeatedly distrusting of their partner, then some changes should be made to remedy these things.

Some s types do not wish to stay micro-managed forever, and some D types do not wish to micromanage long term either. Some D types hope to equip their s types with enough skills, training, knowledge, etc (over time) to carry out their will effortlessly without having to give them specific step by step instructions for every single order or task. I am in NO WAY saying that D types shouldn’t take an active role or check in with their s types. They ALWAYS should. What I am saying is that some D types (after proper training has been done) expect that they can trust their s type to accomplish what they asked and in the manner they want said task done without so much supervision and oversight.

It’s kind of a like a parent who raises a child and as the child grows and proves they are becoming more competent, their parent tries to oversee them less because the parent trusts they will follow the parent’s rules and will live up to the parent’s expectations.

Power exchange relationships can be very similar in this regard. It really comes down to how much trust has been built in a power exchange dynamic for the D type to lessen their oversight.

One way for trust to grow within the D type for the s type is imparted presence. Imparted presence happens when the s type has been adequately trained, has developed trust for their D type, when they know their D type really well- the D type’s wants, needs, preferences, expectations,etc., when they know how the D type would go about doing something, when they know how the D type expects the s type to behave in many different settings, when they know how the D type handles most situations/wants them to handle most situations etc. After these things have been accomplished and clearly communicated, the s type can then begin to develop imparted presence. In short, this type of presence requires the s type essentially having the D type “in their head” even when the D type isn’t around. When this occurs, the s type is able to behave how their D type wishes (whether the D type is around or not) without a direct order from their D type and without the D type governing the s type’s behavior directly.

Essentially, the s type has been so well trained that the D type is now “a part of” the s type and their decision making process.The s type and D type have become one to some degree and the s type feels he/she is connected to their D type mentally.

Many people feel that M/s is all about the s type and D type becoming one and some put a lot of emphasis on acquiring imparted presence.

However, imparted presence can be a goal for any kind of dynamic.

I can tell you from personal experience that having imparted presence has made my Master’s and my life a lot easier. Imparted presence has allowed my Master to have more faith in me as his slave and also allows him to spend less time overseeing things. After years of being together, there are plenty of things that he used to have to heavily supervise that now he just knows I can do and occasionally checks in with to make sure things are still going smoothly.

This being said there are still a lot of new things that come up as life changes that I have to be trained on that I do not have imparted presence with yet. And that’s completely okay. There are always going to be new things that need to be implemented and trained. That’s a fact of life.

What I am trying to say is that just because at a particular time a sub has imparted presence on all protocols, doesn’t mean that they always will. In my opinion, a healthy relationship requires constant modification and implementing new things as times change.

Also, on a further note, imparted presence takes time, patience, adequate training, and a lot of work for all involved. It comes from having a very solid foundation, and being able to communicate clearly and effectively.

These things are the true recipe for imparted presence.

In short,

Imparted Presence = Effective/Communication Regarding Expectations, Protocols, Etc.

Adequate Training

Patience

Time

Solid Foundation

S Type Being Committed to Following Their D Type’s Will

If all of these things are done properly, it would be very easy for any s type to achieve imparted presence if that is one of the goals of their dynamic.

Again, it does not have to be, and a dynamic can exist very well without it. I am merely providing one possible goal for any dynamic that wishes to have less supervision as times goes on.

As always, please feel free to ask questions and comment. Thanks for reading and stay tuned!

About the Author:

Slave Bunny, a 1950’s power slave, is involved in a wonderful and loving TPE 24/7 M/S relationship with her Master and husband. She is also the Creative Director of Kink Weekly.

Feel free to add her on Fetlife (Slave_Bunny992) to see her upcoming workshops and classes.

Review: My 1950’s Class Experience

January 29, 2018 By slave_bunny 2 Comments

Last Monday, I taught my first 1950’s class at Sanctuary. Everything went so well! I was a little afraid that speaking about such an old school topic and having to mention the words “husband” and “wife” from time to time may deter some people.

This was not the case. From what I could see, everyone that attended was fully engaged and interested in what I had to say.

After the class, I received extremely positive feedback, and had a great time at the after-class munch further discussing various topic pertaining to 1950’s power exchange. I feel like I learned from them as much as they learned from me. I am so honored and grateful that I got to teach about a topic that is so near and dear to my heart.

My favorite part about the class was the questions I received at the end.

I would like to talk about them now in case any of the KinkWeekly readers have the same questions regarding 1950’s power exchange dynamics.

One individual asked me if it’s a good idea to have a contingency plan in case the breadwinner becomes out of the work or can no longer work. I told them there should absolutely be a contingency plan put in place. I am always keeping up to date on my personal training certifications. I feel it is always a good idea for the s type to be furthering their education and/or learning new skills for their own self growth and/or just in case they would need to return to work. It’s so important that every dynamic accounts for the worst and hopes for the best. A 1950’s household is NEVER an excuse to ignore the fact that the Dom may be out of work or can no longer work someday.

Another person asked me if I felt that 1950’s dynamics would vary based on where you live. I responded again with an Absolutely. There are very distinct cultures in America depending on where you live, and the culture and social norms of a particular area would most likely impact dynamics. I told this person that the South would probably focus more on polite language protocols and somewhere like Rhode Island would probably be more conservative than somewhere like Los Angeles. People are heavily influenced by where they live and grew up, so I would assume that dynamics are no different.

Finally, another individual said that she could see how her parents have a 1950’s dynamic even though they are not in the Kink community. She told me that, for a period of time, her Dad was the homemaker and her Mom was the breadwinner. Despite this fact, within the home, her father still asserted complete control over his wife and his children. I told her that even though her parents (during this time) were not living a traditional breadwinner/homemaker dynamic of the 1950’s, they were still keeping the 1950’s very much alive by abiding to the traditional gender norms of the 1950’s. In my last article, I wrote about a bunch of ways to incorporate the 1950’s into your dynamic no matter what your lifestyle entails, and it’s always enlightening to learn more ways to accomplish this.

Her comment got me thinking about the many ways that it is possible to implement some facet of the 1950’s into one’s life. Yes, the traditional model is the Dom being the breadwinner and sub being the homemaker, but there are so many other ways to call yourself a 1950’s household without following this traditional set up. Please see my previous article if you would like to read more.

I love to hear what other people have to say. It helps me learn what topics I should put in my classes for next time. Thank you so much to everyone that came to my class. If you missed it and want to learn more about 1950’s power exchange dynamics, I’ll be teaching another 1950’s class on February 10 at Threshold.

Please feel free to comment and ask questions.

As always, thanks for reading and stay tuned!

About the Author:

Slave Bunny, a 1950’s power slave, is involved in a wonderful and loving TPE 24/7 M/S relationship with her Master and husband. She is also the Creative Director of Kink Weekly.

Feel free to add her on Fetlife (Slave_Bunny992) to see her upcoming workshops and classes.

The Power of Punishment

October 16, 2017 By slave_bunny 6 Comments

How many of us have continually blamed ourselves for things we have done in the past? How many of us have had a partner remind us of our mistakes in a sarcastic or passive aggressive manner?

I feel the answer would be “yes” for most of us.

It’s human to have emotions that make us wants to hold onto things. It’s normal to make a mistake, blame others, and feel bad for what you have done or what has been done to you. However, it’s not healthy to hold onto the bad forever. We need to forgive ourselves, and we need our partners to forgive us as well (or the relationship is doomed to fail).

I have found the best way to do this is through receiving a punishment.

In our home, punishments aren’t given to make me feel worse. They are given so I can learn from my mistakes, so I can feel I have paid the price for what I have done, and so both my Master and I can move on from the incident knowing that it has been properly dealt with.

After the punishment is over, we hold no grudges towards each other. We even have a rule that the incident is not to be brought up again once the punishment has been completed. We always have a discussion about the infraction, and my Master will put in new rules and protocols, if necessary, to help reduce the chances of the incident re-occurring in the future.

With any punishment, the D type must figure out the why the misdeed occurred, and, if necessary, come up with ways to reduce the chances of it occurring in the future. That’s the only way a punishment can be truly effective. If a s type doesn’t know why they are being punished or the true magnitude of their mistake, the misdeed could keep occurring over and over. And who wants to deal with that?

D types should always assess whether their s type is actively defying them or if there is something else going on. A genuinely devoted s type will not actively disobey, unless that is something the D type wants to see in the dynamic. Some D types are into brattiness and youthful defiance, but I am not talking about that here.

Consistency is also key in making punishments effective. No matter how tired you are, D types always need to rise to the occasion and punish their s types if necessary. Inconsistency will create confusion in the dynamic, making the s type feel uncared for and/or even cause the s type to think they can get away with breaking rules. I actually feel upset if I forget to do something and I am not at least spanked by my Master for the infraction. I need that closure.

One of the most important things with regards to discipline is that the punishment should also always fit the offense. Many factors should be taken into account when giving a punishment, such as: frequency, the offense itself, the circumstances surrounding the incident, the s type’s state, the d types state etc.

My Master usually spanks me for minor infractions, and will use other means of punishment if the offense is more serious, or has occurred before. In the past, I have been given writing assignments, chores, and have had things withheld such as my work out classes or orgasms. All of these were very fitting to the specific offense, and my Master gave each of them a lot of thought before giving them to me.

A punishment should not be enjoyable for the s type, but should also never cross a hard limit. I would suggest, if you are going to use something physical like spanking as a punishment, to have a specific item you only use for disciplinary action. This toy/tool should be something the s type doesn’t like, but does not cross any hard limits either. For me, my Master’s implement of choice is a ruler, which I have grown to dread the sight of.

I also feel it is very important to thank your D type for taking the time to punish you. Punishing a s type means that that D type cares about the growth of the relationship and of the s type. Punishing is often very difficult for D types, so saying thank you can go a long way. In our home, we have a rule that I must thank my Master after any punishment. This helps me to show my gratitude for his commitment to my growth and the overall health of the relationship.

D types should never punish out of anger either. To ensure this never happens, in our home, Master does not have to punish me right away. He has 24 hours to give me my punishment. He will also let me know when he wants to talk about the incident. It’s always a good idea to have something like this in place to avoid not knowing what to do or what to expect when a rule is broken. It also allows the D type to punish when he or she is emotionally able to.

We are all human, and in any relationship people will anger or frustrate the other- no matter how much you love each other, how devoted you are, or how many rules you have. Because of this, it’s always wise to have some kind of protocol in place if an s type were to break contract. Some D types, may not want to punish, and that’s totally okay. But something should be put in place, whether it be a warning, punishment, correction, discipline, or exit clause if all and/or certain rules are broken.

Our punishment and reward system works very well for us because it allows us to move on from any misdeed very quickly. It puts an end to the incident in a physical way, which helps to alleviate any mental tension. It provides closure, acceptance and self-growth. It brings us closer as a couple. It also gives Master and me the space to talk about the incident, and to get ahead of any issues that might be forming.

Even though I never want to disappoint my Master, when I do, I am very grateful that he takes the time to punish me, so we can both gain closure and move on from any negative incident that occurs. I hope this article gives others ideas on how to accomplish these wonderful things too.

About the Author:

Slave Bunny, a 1950’s power slave, is involved in a wonderful and loving TPE 24/7 M/S relationship with her Master and husband. She is also the Creative Director of Kink Weekly.

Feel free to add her on Fetlife (Slave_Bunny992) to see her upcoming workshops and classes.

I Won’t Do That!

September 11, 2017 By Baadmaster Leave a Comment

From time to time I answer questions here that I find intriguing. Here is one of them, asked by a female submissive:

“I met a Dom on the Internet. He is awesome. But he is very high protocol. At first I liked all aspects of it. I am now starting find it too confining and am beginning to dread the all-encompassing aspects of it. One more ritual and I think I will lose it. I love the guy, but this aspect is wearing on me. What should I do?”

This is a question, in many similar forms, that I have heard many times before; it is not an uncommon dilemma. That said, the fact that you are not alone does nothing to help you solve your problem. So, let’s see what we can do.

I have always said, here on Kink Weekly, that, ideally, you should match your protocol needs to that of your D/s partner. Rarely can a low-protocol slave adapt to a high-protocol Master, and vice-versa. I am sure he told you that he was high-protocol when you first met. But, you were intrigued by it and chose to give it a go. There is nothing wrong with that. After all, the only way to decide if you like something is to try it out. Most high-protocol lifestylers were not born that way; they simply evolved over time — after they wet their beaks, so to speak. Apparently, before you found out that you had difficulty with high-protocol, you fell in love. Although this would appear to be a big minus, it is actually a big plus.

Since you are in love, you will be giving your D/s partnership your best effort. And, if he is in love with you, so will he. Love cannot conquer all, but it can conquer a lot. What might be an insurmountable problem between play partners can often be solved when both partners are deeply committed to each other. Thus, you can expect your Dom to be a lot more understanding – and even more flexible – than a casual partner. Knowing this, we can then address your other, almost technical, concern.

This second aspect of your anxiety — that you liked high-protocol initially but don’t like it now – can also work to your advantage. It was not as if you were mismatched from the start. You did nothing wrong; you matched protocol levels as I suggested and proceeded forward. The fact that you originally liked high-protocol means there are aspects to it that turn you on. It is not unusual to burn out on things you enjoy. Even professional athletes, who clearly love what they do, can often get burned out during a season. The key here is to be honest with your Dom and explain your situation. It is obvious your attitude toward high-protocol has changed at some point during your relationship. You might be telling him something he already knows. People, subs included, are not robots. There are times when service is fun and times when they dread serving – even in great relationships. An experienced Dom, no matter how demanding his protocols are, will be aware of this fact. Thus, do not be afraid to discuss it with him. Don’t wait until the “Get your own fucking cup of coffee, asshole” stage when it is almost impossible to save your relationship. Better to face this predicament together, early on, than to let it fester and become an insoluble problem.

There are simple solutions, believe it or not. You might just need some time off. Maybe he can eliminate some specific rituals that you hate. Or, he can change 24/7 into an acceptable – to both of you – 20/5 kind of arrangement. Don’t sell yourself short. That you were an enthusiastic slave will not be lost on him. He will, more than likely, make some adjustments to keep you happy. But, no Dom (or Domme) is a mind reader. You must, within your protocol, tell him how you are handling, both good and bad, your submission. A skilled Dominant will always take your feelings into account. After all, an unhappy slave is not a good slave. Or, worse, she will soon be an ex-slave!

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