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Building A Flogger

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When I began building floggers, I didn’t have the benefit of learning from anyone how to do it.  I spent time searching out various tutorials, print and video, and got frustrated.  What I had in my head wasn’t what I was seeing anywhere.  Much like when I cook, I had to take what I saw as the best parts of lots of different recipes, keeping the necessary ingredients while making the taste my own.

Locals in our community have opportunities to craft implements with me on occasion, when I’ve offered a course, complete with leather, tools and guidance.  I always promise them their first will turn out light years better than mine did – some goodwill sweatpants cut into strips and glued on a piece of dowel.

How I build

I start by deciding what I want my flogger to feel like (see my prior articles for more information about that).  Suffice to say, the amount and texture of the leather I use will depend greatly on what I’ve decided.

Once I’ve decided what the feel should be, I examine my larger piece of leather to determine where the size piece I have chosen will best fit.  Sometimes the size of the larger piece will force my hand, if it has limitations.  

Once I have cut my piece or pieces away from the larger hide, I often switch my focus to the handle.  Braiding works best in multiples of four, so if I’m going to braid the handle I need to find leather scrap long enough to cut into strips that will braid well.  If I’m stitching, I measure with a great deal more exactness, cutting a rectangle the precise size I will need to fully cover my handle.  Waxed thread works best with leather, though I will occasionally wax my own so I can customize my options a little better.

Handle complete, I create the section of falls.  I know some people will use a piece of leather the length of their handle, then split falls off, but I prefer about an inch of overlap from the base of the handle rather than wrapping the full length.  I measure twice down the row, marking my future cuts with tailor’s chalk.  It turns out chalk works well on most leathers, since it just rubs off easily.  I advise students to measure from the same side when they mark, to avoid slanted cuts if the body of their piece is uneven.

Once falls are marked and cut, I use glue on the band of the fall section and wrap it around the base of the handle.  For most, upholstery tacks finish that portion.  Some may want to upgrade to knotwork over their fall section, but that’s done more easily with a video tutorial.  There are some excellent ones on YouTube, though I personally find Viper’s video tutorial to be the best out there.  I believe he has them for sale in his etsy shop.

The handle strap is next, and I often cut the strap, end cap circle and covering wrap all at once.  Some people think the end strap is for your wrist.  I’ll agree to disagree with those folks.  I build mine shorter, clearly hanging straps, though I can make them longer for those who request that.  This top section can also be covered with knotwork for those who prefer, or finished with tacks as well.

The one thing I emphasize is that the devil is in the details.  My wraps start from the same side of the handle.  I position hanging loop straps equidistant from what I determine is a centerline on the handle.  I make sure diamonds in braided handles line up, and stitching is in a straight line rather than wandering.  

When my students finish, I warn them about set times for their glue.  Test swings are one thing, but attempting a full scene with an implement whose glue hasn’t finished curing can lead to things shifting or even coming apart.  They don’t always listen, but at least I gave them the information.

I believe building implements for one’s own bag is a skill everyone can learn.  What I have noticed, however, is that those who spend the time to try it once begin to appreciate the pricing of handcrafted implements a little more.  They come to understand the time and effort which goes into the creation of each piece.  

Christmas bunny has been exploring kink since she was legal to do so.  Her serious writing started in college, where she accidently got some of her papers published in educational journals.  She has recently expanded her writing to include her kink journey.  She began writing in the physical realm, but shed some of her inhibitions and began sharing those entries with others.  She now keeps an active blog of her personal growth and her relationship with her Master / Daddy Dominant and writes helpful educational posts on a variety of subjects.

Properly Preparing To Play

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If you have been following my ASK BAADMASTER series here on kinkweekly.com, you might conclude that I am over-covering the pandemic on a kink site. I think I would be remiss in ignoring the pandemic as it has affected the kink community on many levels. For starters, live dungeons have been mostly closed. I would hope the new vaccines are a bright light at the end of a very dark tunnel. So I would like to answer questions that prepare us for the non-covid days ahead. Much will be review; so if your were a BDSM player and have not played for almost a year, you might want to go over aspects of play that you might have forgotten. There is never too much knowledge.

Reader: Recently, my kink group has been discussing what to do if something goes wrong or a pre-existing condition manifests itself during a scene. This kind of safety concern is beyond the usual. But, how can you prepare for any eventuality?

As a general rule, it is impossible to prepare for EVERY eventuality. If I could do this, I would be working for President Biden eliminating terrorism. But seriously… Regarding medical pre-existing conditions — you might open a productive dialogue before your scene, especially between first-time players. Make sure the players are aware of any pre- existing conditions and what its symptoms are so you can stop the scene quicker than usual.
Now onto safe words. Depending solely on safe words is not the end-all and be-all to safety. (Although they are definitely better than anything that comes in second).

The trick to using safe words effectively (and this seemingly obvious bit of advice might be extremely valuable to you) is “simplicity.” Although the standard safe word is “red,” many people try to pick out their own personal safe word. They want style. “Greef” might be a cool safe word between ‘Mandalorean’ fans, but when panic time sets in and the mind starts spinning, these words might not be at the tip of the tongue. “Red” works for stop signs. “Red” works for scening. Use “red.”

I also advocate the use of a safe signal. When you use a ball gag in a scene, the bottom –unless he/she is a ventriloquist — cannot give a safe word. So agree on a safe signal based on what type of scene you are doing. A great one is a shaking of the head continuously left to right — like a “no” signal. This is unmistakable, and does not require the hands, which might be bound. Between safe words and safe signals, you have increased safety a hundred fold.

Most BDSM writers always talk about a “safe call.” In this case the old expression –“after all is said and done, more is said than done” — is applicable. Most people never use the safe call procedure. But if used properly, safe calls are really good tools. In this age of the cell phone, it is really easy to have someone standing by waiting for your call to see if all is well – and to arrange for any contingency plans should help be required.
Another safety key is…not playing with unsafe players! Sometimes there are players who have gained a reputation for being unsafe; most times these reputations — if they are widespread and repeated by respected members of the community — have some basis in fact. Stay away. But there are other red flags. When playing for the first time, a big red flag is when the Top says, “I never allow a safe word.” They might rationalize it by saying something like, “I am into TPE and do not believe in safe words.” Well, many in TPE relationships do eschew the safe word. But this only happens after a relationship is established; eliminating the safe word is generally negotiated after playing for awhile. Anyone who says “no safe words” right out of the box really hasn’t got a clue.

As for the scene itself, the oft-repeated advice of planning a scene in advance will add to the safety of it. Some scenes are pretty safe in and of themselves — an interrogation scene, for example. Others — such as mummification or breath play — are much more dangerous. Make sure the skill level of the Dominant (as he/she is in control) matches the danger quotient (D.Q.) of the scene being attempted. If you notice, I would rather head off problems before they arise. “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” also applies in BDSM play.

If you have extra time on your hands, I have written a companion piece on safety on this site: https://www.kinkweekly.com/?s=safe+words Play safe when you return to play! And if you have not played in a while, there is nothing wrong in going over safety essentials (as in “Don’t forget aftercare”) before you re-visit your favorite dungeon!

After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Keeping Our Community Saf-er During the Pandemic

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These are unprecedented times indeed. Regardless of where people stand in regards to the pandemic itself, one thing we should be able to agree on is the impact it is having on our kink communities. Individuals are struggling with finances, and dungeons who rent or own space are likely struggling to maintain the financial commitment for these spaces without large events funding them.

I have been peripherally involved with some local efforts to create safer ways to restart events, though most of the credit for the hard work of researching and implementing has to go to the local dungeon owner here. The strategies we’ve adopted here may be helpful to others who are looking for ways to kink outside of their homes in safer ways, or who are struggling to maintain their spaces.

Handle Immediate Financial Need

Our first step was mid-May/June when we realized this was going to seriously impact whether or not our dungeon would still be in existence when all of this does finally resume some semblance of normality. We opened a Go Fund Me and dropped the link in our local community space. It was truly humbling to to watch people respond with an outpouring of support in the midst of feeling powerless. Every single donation was appreciated and we raised enough to maintain the rental space through the end of 2020 in that opening drive.

Some of that money went to upgrading the space in ways to make it safer, such as hand sanitizer units, a digital thermometer, a heavy duty sprayer to clean with, and a plexiglass shield for the check-in area. The rest went to keeping the rent current until virus urgency level started to recede in our region. Plans began being made for what we affectionately refer to as LAT parties, or limited attendance and time.

Once we felt safe enough, we rolled out the plan and gave community members opportunities to discuss and make suggestions before any implementation. The owner consulted local experts in the medical field and in engineering and sanitization at every step. He has made transparency his goal, from the way the money is spent, to what all of his procedures are. That transparency has helped people feel safer attending events, since it means they know exactly what to expect.

Opening the Dungeon Again

For indoor events, such as any rope classes or dungeon events there is a clear procedure. Tickets are purchased in advance through Square, which allows an individual to keep their anonymity and credit card information safe, but allows for a comment to be dropped with the user’s scene name so the dungeon knows who will be attending. Attendance is limited to ten individuals, since that was the recommendation as of the time of planning. Any new attendees are sent the membership form and covid waiver that discusses the recommendations for how to handle contact tracing in the event of any incidents (don’t mention fight club, if it is necessary, please contact dungeon owner and he can let others know they need to go for testing). Leading to the door, waiting spots are marked six feet apart. People can peek in the window to see if the prior group is clear of the entryway before entering. Masks are absolutely required while people area present in the building.

Upon entering, guests have a touchless hand sanitizer unit immediately to their right, and are expected to use it prior to moving into the space. They are then greeted and announce their name for verification on the list and to confirm they returned their forms. Stepping forward, the person manning the plexiglass enclosure can remain behind it while reaching around to digitally check the temperatures of each attendee. The CDC states that a reading of 100.4 constitutes a fever, so anyone with a reading there or above is asked to leave (though that has not happened to date). Attendees are then expected to leave the entryway and go down the hallway to the dungeon area.

The dungeon area has been modified from its pre-covid layout. The setup was workable before to allow for whip space between furniture, but has been adjusted to take half of the furniture temporarily out of commission. Those pieces have been turned around or otherwise adjusted so that it clear they are not for use. With a maximum of five couples having scenes at one time, there are a few more pieces available than people, which allow for some equipment choices.

Individuals are permitted to allot their time however they please. They can watch others scenes, they can socialize, or they can choose to indulge in their own scenes. As their time slot nears to a close, a ten minute warning is announced to allow people to wrap up scenes and pack their gear. Once everyone is out, the owner dons protective gear and thoroughly disinfects the entire space with a spray that should not be touched or inhaled, and then clears out for a minimum of twenty minutes, as recommended for usage of that chemical. The sessions are scheduled in two hour blocks with a thirty minute window for cleaning between them.

Because people have freedom to purchase tickets, but they are limited to 10 available ones, a group looking to make sure they are only sharing space with one anther can purchase the entire block of ten when dates and times are released and basically have a private event. For those with immunocompromised partners, that option can be sanity-saving.

Restarting Vendor Events

Because vendor events typically have more of a revolving door type atmosphere, we struggled some with finding the right balance of safety in order to comfortably begin holding those again. For vendors of kink gear and implements, some of them are truly hurting right now after ten months of few to no options when it comes to in-person events. Often, those in-person events tend to be hugely important for clientele, particularly newer community members who may not know what to expect in regards to appearance or quality of offerings. Being able to see and touch items is a vital part of their education, and a piece that has been noticeably absent this year.

We decided to hold our events outdoors, and to require masks. We release an informational document with safety info at the time of advertising these events. We are clear that face shields may not be used as a substitute for masks, due to the most recent research available. Additionally, we hold it in the dungeon’s gated lot so we can limit attendance to two individuals per vendor, and do thermometer checks. We have a security person and someone handling an outdoor handwashing station, stocked by a local soapmaker. Additionally, each vendor has a bottle of hand sanitizer on their table and requires people to use it prior to making contact with any merchandise.

Vendors occupy parking spaces to make things simple. Ones with larger vehicles (vans mostly) park next to the gate to block the view of anyone walking past. They set up tables in the parking spot directly next to their vehicle and are able to space it as they like. Some bring canopies. By alternating car – vendor – car – vendor, we are able to space vendors out nine feet plus add a blockade of the vendor’s car. Vendors remain masked for the duration of the event. One person or germ group may shop a given vendor at a time. A second may wait six feet distant until that group has finished. Additional interested shoppers must browse elsewhere or wait outside of the gate, physically distanced. We encourage anyone who wants to crack a whip to briefly step inside, but other than that and brief bathroom visits, the event is able to operate fully outdoors.

Our first event went well. We didn’t have a high number of attendees, but the ones who came clearly had full intention to purchase from our local people. All the vendors felt satisfied that they were safe and also able to accommodate shoppers. Vending fees are minimal and go directly to the dungeon to help make sure it continues to operate as we move forward.

Neither event is perfect. They don’t have huge attendance. Some people are unwilling to use masks during play and choose not to attend the dungeon events. Some are unwilling to wear them outdoors and choose not to attend the vendor events. Others feel both events are still beyond their risk profile and also choose not to attend. We support their choices either way, but have to move forward in ways that provide the highest level of comfort and safety to the highest percentage of our kink community’s population. As things change, we are doing our best to change with them.

Do you have any additional safety measures your community is taking? Feel free to let us know in the comments.

Christmas bunny has been exploring kink since she was legal to do so.  Her serious writing started in college, where she accidently got some of her papers published in educational journals.  She has recently expanded her writing to include her kink journey.  She began writing in the physical realm, but shed some of her inhibitions and began sharing those entries with others.  She now keeps an active blog of her personal growth and her relationship with her Master / Daddy Dominant and writes helpful educational posts on a variety of subjects.

Safety First!

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Safety in this lifestyle comes in two varieties. The first regards safety when meeting for the first time from the Internet. The second concerns safety between scening partners.

Let us take the first, first! And since the submissive is the one at the “mercy” of the Dominant, this article is directed more to the submissives.

Reality check: you are statistically more likely to be killed in a random convenience store robbery than in meeting a total stranger offline — even from Craig’s List! One is more likely to be raped in a real-time encounter than from an Internet date. Picking up a stranger at a singles bar is riskier than meeting someone online. But do not let these figures make you complacent; there is danger lurking if you aren’t careful. If you follow these guidelines for offline safety – even though some might seem obvious — you should never fear an offline meeting again.

Never meet anyone without talking to them on the phone first – and in both directions. You call them, they call you. With cell phones, there can be no excuse for not talking. You would be surprised how many people meet after just a few e-mails or a series of computer or app chats. This should never be attempted — no matter how many excuses are given, no matter how powerful the real or imagined chemistry is. Remember, tying up someone is part of the BDSM culture. So know who is tying you up (or who you are tying up) before you proceed to play.

Your first offline meeting should be in the middle of day in a well-trafficked restaurant like a Denny’s. Denny’s (and I am not being paid to say this) is perfect. They are all over the place, are usually crowded (for added safety) and are inexpensive (so there is no pressure.) But, no matter what, trust your instincts. If you get a bad feeling for any reason, say “thanks for the pancakes”! (I know a submissive who met mass murderer John Edward Robinson – a/k/a “Slavemaster” – in a Kansas City diner, thought he was creepy, and did not go his “dungeon.” True story.) So, follow your intuition!

Finally, a “safe call” should be pre-arranged with a friend. The basic “safe call” is a phone call that your friend is expecting at the time of your meeting. Your friend should know where you are meeting. You should have worked out some simple code words — something like, “I’ll be back on time” to indicate you are fine. Anything with “Houston” in it – as in “Houston, we have a problem” – should alert your friend that something is seriously wrong. The safe call is very important. Never cut corners with regard to it, no matter how many great offline meetings you might have had in the past. “Houston” will rarely, if ever, be needed; but if it is, you will be glad there is a friend out there to help you. If you are meeting for first-time BDSM play, ideally it should be in a reputable dungeon. There, the owners have your safety in mind and you can play knowing there are “Dungeon Monitors” watching the scene so it does not get out of hand.

Now, onto the second aspect of safety: that between scene partners. Although you likely already know these precautions, it’s worth repeating. Whether it is flogging, paddling, caning, bondage, rope play, hot wax or any number of activities, one should first negotiate the scene with the Top being made aware of what the bottom’s limits are. That established, a “safe word” and a “safe signal” should be agreed upon. If a prospective Dominant says, “I never use safe words,” be wary. Check him/her out carefully.

It should be noted there might be times — most often when in subspace — that the submissive is unable to utter the safe word or use the safe signal. It is at this point where the Dominant should err on the side of caution; do not continue flailing away because you hear no safe word or see no safe signal. Ultimately it is the Dom/me’s responsibility for the submissive’s safety. And to insure the sub’s mental safety, the Dominant should not skip aftercare.

Just because you have heard these admonitions a thousand times, reading them one more time can’t hurt. Remember, the BDSM mantra is Safe, Sane and Consensual. Notice the words “safe” comes first!

By BaadMaster
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.