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Does A Slave Have Autonomy?

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There is no greater debate in the BDSM community than when it comes to definitions.  Since BDSM is a personal journey, how we define things is molded by our experiences.  We are influenced by the people we are with.  Through both good and bad encounters, we are constantly growing, changing, and evolving.

Today, class, we are going to discuss an age-old argument.

What is the fundamental difference between a submissive and a slave?

I do not have the answer.  But I would like to have a debate with you and share the debates I’ve had with Master.

If you have ever googled the definition of a submissive, you will understand why I refuse to repeat that definition.  Instead, I’m going to put down my thoughts on what each of these roles are.

*A submissive is an individual who willingly allows another to take responsibility and control of aspects of their life in an effort to grow as a person. 

*A slave is an individual who has willingly given themself and their decisions over to another with minimal to no reservation.

The best description I have heard, and how I apply it to my dynamic, is “a submissive gives over their body and their mind.  A slave gives over their body, mind and soul.”  The author implied that being a slave was a deeply spiritual experience unparalleled to anything else.

While I agree with their thought process, this is where people diverge on defining the difference.  Words like true and real frame expectations into these little boxes and allow us to separate each other.  If you do X, then you aren’t a real Dom.  If you can’t do X, you must not be a true sub.  In reality, the depth of the dynamic, to me, is built within the confines of the mind.  The rest is just the show.

Regardless of title, both require trust and communication.  

A submissive is seen as a strong, independent individual who kneels out of love and respect for a Dominant.  A slave is seen as someone who has gotten in too deep and has no recourse to leave.  A submissive can negotiate and set limits while slaves are expected to be doormats.  While many view a slave as the ultimate submissive partner (the dream of many 50 shaders and the expected goal of all who kneel), we view them through a harsh lens.

When the life of a slave is imagined, it often involves a 24/7, live-in situation.  These are individuals who have no opinions, no decision making, are chained to the bed by the ankle, never allowed to leave the house, and are at the whim of a Master/Mistress.  Outside of the community, they are viewed a sex slaves who are trapped and abused.

Above all, the identifying factor of slave implies that an individual cannot have limits or a safeword.

I think that is bullshit.

I had a long debate with Master over this.  See, as you all know, I alternate between calling him Mister and Master.  One is family friendly; one is kink friendly.  I see him as the Master of all things in my life.  

I have willingly given him control of my physical being—through correction and health decisions.  I have willingly given him control over my emotional being—through communication, sharing of burdens, and the influence of my mental health.  Lastly, I have willingly given him control over my soul—I bare it before him each time I kneel and each time I lay before him, so lost in subspace I don’t know my own name.  

I trust him with my life and my mind.

That’s a lot of fucking responsibility to lay upon someone.

We talked about our dynamic thoroughly in the beginning and continue to do so.  He does not desire a slave.  He says that he does not have the time nor attention that is required of one.  

Because, how he was taught, slaves are seen and not heard.  They are to do absolutely nothing, short of breathing, without the go ahead of their Master/Mistress.  

Master hates the term slave when it references me.  It upsets him.  So, out of respect for him, I identify myself as his submissive.  This does not change the dynamic we have.  All it really changes is how people imagine us to be.

By Master’s definition, I am not like that.  

I do speak my mind when I feel it is important enough.  I do take financial responsibility of a portion of our house.  I do work outside the home and do so in a managerial position.  I am an Alpha outside of our home.  Because of this, I do not fit with what the “traditional” definition of a slave.

However, I view it differently.

I speak my mind to keep my Master healthy and happy.  I offer ideas that may ease his daily burden.  I speak to calm him when life gets frustrating.  I think of the worst types of jokes in an effort to make him laugh.  I ground him so he remembers to take care of himself the way he takes care of me.

I work as a service to the household.  I do what is needed to provide for our family and keep us safe and comfortable.  I take part of the financial responsibility, so it does not lay squarely on his shoulders.

My rules do not cease simply because I am outside of the house.  The blanket consent I have with him, does not change when the scenes end.  His decisions are still final, even when I disagree with the outcome.  

I have a safeword to use when needed.  We use the color system.  Green for good, yellow for check-in, and red for stop.  I have never had to use red.  We both trust each other enough, that if I have to utter red, something seriously went wrong.  We use the safe words for unexpected situations.  Was I hit accidentally in a place?  Yellow.  Do I need to readjust due to pain or numbness? Yellow.  Do I need a check-in because the gag is aggravating my asthma? Yellow.

I have yet to come to a situation that requires me to have him stop.  Every situation I’ve given examples of are parts of play that could unintentionally injure or break me.  If you break your toys, you can’t play anymore.  So, we make sure no one is broken.

In the long run, our relationship is what we want it to be, regardless of the labels pressed upon us.  Yet, I’d love to see the definition of slave to broaden and develop, just as the community has.  I do not need to stay at home to have a deep, spiritual connection with Master.  I do not need to be meek and unfailingly obedient to be a good girl.  And I sure as fuck do not need to be anything less than what I am to kneel before him and call him Master.

I have all the rights granted to everyone.

I just choose to gift them to someone else.

My name is Joji.  I am 29 years old currently and I have been in and around the kink community about 15 years.I am a collared submissive to Magick42.  I am also a Daddy to a wonderful babygirl, and have been for more than three years now and I find it very fulfilling.  I am being mentored in and being taught electroplay.  I am a masochist at heart and thoroughly love impact play, especially caning.  I enjoy reading anything I can get my hands on and am a die hard Harry Potter and Doctor Who fan.  I am also the secretary for a group in Idaho called Moscow S.P.A.R.K.E (Simply Providing Another Route to Kink Education).  It is our mission to teach safe practices to those new to the community and give them a safe haven to ask questions and learn without judgement.  We accept all kinks and all we ask in return is respect between all our members.

Anticipatory Service: Is it Right for Your Dynamic?

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I hope you have been enjoying Rika’s Lair, my monthly column dedicated to thoughts and experiences regarding power dynamics in Service-Oriented D/s relationships. Look up “Ms. Rika” in the search box for links to all of my articles in KinkWeekly!

People’s preferences differ. Dominants are no exception. One topic that generates lots of debates among dominants – and therefore, confusion among subs – is the area of Anticipatory Service. To some (myself included), having a submissive who is so in-tuned with my definition of dominance and submission, that they can consistently accurately act in accordance with my preferences, without needing to be told and without needing to ask for permission, is the pinnacle of good submission. To others, it’s a repulsive idea.

When I mention Anticipatory Service, I’m often met with, “Subs make terrible mind-readers!” I respond that the notion that anticipation requires reading someone’s mind is completely erroneous. Yes, anticipatory service requires that the sub be focused on the dominant quite a bit. They need to remember things, be observant, and present. It requires that the sub be attentive, empathetic, and a little intuitive. But they’re not expected to be a mind-readers. Rather, they’re expected to internalize their dominant’s preferences and apply them to their decisions.

There are dominants who prefer that the sub never take the initiative to act on their behalf and to never make their own decisions. They may allow the submissive to make suggestions, but never to act without instruction / permission to do so. They prefer the method of “Recall and Obey”: Only allow the sub to act on their own when it’s in response to a standing directive (e.g., Every Tuesday AM do this…Every time I do that, you do this).
For me, this plays on the difference between “Information” and “Instruction”. Information provides the “Why” of a request, whereas Instruction provides the “How”. If I inform the sub that I want something done and provide the basis for them to determine what “correct” is, they are given the responsibility of determining how to do it to my expectation.

If I provide instruction, they are to “obey” and follow those instructions. In my opinion, a sub following instructions will, at best, meet expectations – whereas a sub who is given information can exceed those expectations. For me, a sub who can exceed my expectations is a top-notch sub!

To clarify this distinction, I propose the following scenario:
Let’s say a dominant tells her sub, “From now, until I tell you otherwise, you are to bring me a glass of wine with a bowl of fruit each evening when I sit down to watch TV.”

The sub does so, each evening: Recall and obedience.
Tomorrow, the dominant has an appointment with the doctor and will be getting her blood taken to test for blood sugar levels. The sub knows this and knows that she cannot have the sugar from the fruit, nor from the alcohol, but it’s slipping the dominant’s mind – and she isn’t telling the sub to do anything different.

The sub has some choices:

1. Pure recall and obedience would edict that the sub does what he’s told to do, anyway – as he wasn’t told NOT to do it…so he would blindly obey. He brings the glass of wine and fruit, obediently.
2. Inquire, don’t act: The sub reminds the dominant of her blood test the next day and asks if he should bring the wine and cheese anyway. The dominant would then tell the submissive if she would have something else instead.
3. Anticipatory: The sub reminds the dominant of her blood test the next day and shows her that he prepared an alternate snack that doesn’t impact the blood work, and offers it as an option to her. If the alternative is not what she wants, she’ll send him off for something else, otherwise, she’s all set.

Given this example, some dominants are going to choose #2; not wanting the sub to act without permission. Frankly, I don’t see too many choosing #1, as that strikes me a bit more like fantasy play than reality. You all can likely guess that I’d prefer #3. I don’t mind allowing the sub to use their minds and not rely only on me.

If my sub were choosing the alternative snack for me, it wouldn’t be chosen out of the blue – nor would it be chosen because he miraculously “read my mind” – it would be chosen based on his best understanding of my preferences, the situation as it stands, (in this case) his knowledge of blood tests and the impacts of what I ate / drank prior to drawing the blood, and any other factors that might influence my preference (e.g, What I ate earlier in the day – if he knows that, if I will be working out later – if he knows that, what I’m having for dinner – if he knows that, etc.).

All of those “If he knows that”s are important to note. He’s not expected to know everything – he can’t read my mind. He’s expected to take whatever he knows and use it to make his best, educated, anticipation. Obviously, the more in-tuned he is with me; the more he is aware of my patterns and the way I prefer to handle situations, and the more observant he can be – the more educated and accurate his anticipation will be. This would give him the best chance of arriving at a solution that will please me.

And if he doesn’t get it right, that’s OK too. I don’t get mad at my sub if he anticipates incorrectly – as long as he was truly trying to the best of his ability and as long as he learns from his mistakes. If he gets something wrong (or not right), then it’s a learning experience that will influence and improve his anticipation skills in the future. We’re in this, together, for the long haul.

I assure you, that when a sub gets it right and comes up with something PERFECT that I, myself, might not have even thought of – exceeds my expectations – that’s heaven! Consider that, If he’s obedient, the best I can get is what I can think of. Whereas, if he gets good at anticipating, and is encouraged to do so, I can get surprised by things that may be even BETTER than what I would have thought of! Two minds can be better than one – as long as they’re focused on the same objective (my happiness)!

If you’re a submissive, be sure to take your lead from the unique dominant to whom you’re submitting. Don’t assume anticipatory service is better because Rika said it is for her. You are a student, who needs to learn your dominant’s preferences – particularly when it comes to the style of submission they would like. Also, submissives, don’t try to push your preferences onto your dominant. You might like to never be allowed to make a decision on your own, but your dominant may not like the pressure / burden that places on them. If your goal is to make your dominant pleased with your service as their submissive, focus on their preferences and adapt to deliver to the best of your ability.

If you’re a dominant, make sure you understand and communicate your preferences to your submissives. Usually dominants don’t need to be told that, but you might be surprised how often dominants either forget, or try to appease their submissives. Know what you prefer and assure your submissive understands it. Then expect it to be done the way you prefer!

Ms. Rika is a lifestyle dominant, educator, and author; living in the suburbs of NYC with her husband/slave. She has written several popular books on her approach to adding Dominant-Centric, Service-Oriented D/s to relationships. You can find her books (in both print and eBook formats) at Lulu.com (http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/msrika), or at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, the iStore, Books-A- Million, Kobo.com, or anywhere books are sold. Search for “Ms. Rika”. Write to me at Ms_Rika@hotmail.com

Erotica: What is a Gallipot? (A piece of Arlyn: Adjutant & Apostle)

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“Would you like to see a Gallipot getting a good working over?” he asked.

“What’s a Gallipot?” she asked.

“A pain slave who enjoys the harshest, roughest, most excruciating of pleasures. It’s quite something to watch.”

“They like it?” she asked, thinking of Segat’s pain slaves. 

“Tremendously. I’ve seen women squirt their juice three feet in orgasm and men with cocks so raging hard they turned purple before ejaculating.”

“How do you watch this?” she blurted in shock for the description.

“Preferably with a dozen others quietly engaged in their own sexual fun while watching. We pay to get in but we’re in our own roped off section. No one can touch you. Well, except me. But I won’t, I promise. It’s all very civilized.”

“Don’t you have a curfew at the temple?” she asked.

“Do you honestly think I give a shit if I have a curfew? Come on.”

Arlyn suddenly liked him a lot. She followed him through the market and out the opposite side. They walked a stone paved street up a slope and turned right to go farther into the town. Another right and they were in a small gated garden, narrow path leading to a low-roofed entry. The door closed as they reached it. 

“What’s that about?” she asked.

“It means someone just entered before us and we have to wait a moment. It’s fine,” he replied, reaching to pluck a pink flower from a vine wound through a hedge. He gave it to her. “I love these. They’re among the first flowers of spring.”

She smiled, reminded of the day Jacek had given her a flower.

The door in the entry opened and they went in. It closed behind them, the space lit by three oil lamps.

“Welcome. The event has not yet begun. How many are you?”

“One man, one woman. We’d like an upper tier box, please.”

She wore expensive linen clothes in colors that were also expensive to create. Pearl necklace, gold bracelet. This was obviously a lucrative business. Lenden handed her several gold coins and received a numbered slat of wood.

“Do you want a mask?” the woman inside asked, gesturing to a table with a variety of colored masks.

“I don’t,” he said. “But the lady would.”

He looked over them, selected a black and blue eye mask with gold beads and a small blue feather sticking straight up between the eyes. He tied it around her head and took her hand to continue through the corridor to the door at the end. Through it and they were in a cocktail party. Men and women mingled, talking and enjoying wine or whiskey. 

A server wearing a gold ring around his neck with chains down to a gold ring around his cock offered a tray of beverages.

“We would prefer water today,” Lenden said.

The server lifted a cup to her first and then to him and continued on his way. Another server had savory meat delicacies. A third offered candied fruits with a sharp cheese. 

The door opened periodically to let in new arrivals. Her eyes went to it each time, seeing who was coming in. She knew no one, of course, until the one face in the world she would recognize entered the room.

Harmen. He did not wear a mask. He did not have his belongings with him. She knew he liked to visit a whore house now and then while traveling. His eyes met hers across the room, hard and disapproving. He’d seen her come in, had followed to collect her.

Before he could take a single step, Lenden was taking her through the door on the left to go to their box. He showed their numbered slat and they were allowed past.

“Your number, Sir?” she heard behind them as they reached the stairs. “That number is for the floor, Sir. You cannot go up to the boxes.”

“I need to speak with that couple,” Harmen said.

“Then you will have to wait until they come back to this room, Sir.”

She heard nothing more, as they were at the top of the stairs. Another servant in gold collar and cock chains escorted them to the left, to the second open doorway. Going into it, Arlyn first saw the wide, backless sofa with small table in front of it for their cups. Beyond was a ring of similar boxes. One level below, the same ring with one box enclosed.

She saw Harmen enter his box and sit. His eyes met hers, displeased. She decided she would ignore him for now.

“Do you come here often?” she asked Lenden.

“About once a month. They do this several times a week.”

The boxes were full in a moment and the nicely dressed woman came out of the enclosed box.

“Thank you for attending, Marus and Maruals. For those of you who have not been here before, I am Marual Glynn. I will conduct the scene this evening. We are pleased today to exhibit the Gallipot Cadell for your entertainment and arousal. This is a non-participatory exhibition but feel free to enjoy yourselves. As always, please keep talking and other noise to a minimum until the event has ended.”

She went back into the closed box.

“Non-participatory?” Arlyn whispered. “What’s that mean?”

“It means no one from the audience can join the center display but the audience can have sex themselves if they want.”

She clamped her jaw shut rather than utter the ignorant “oh” springing to mind. Looking around the other boxes, she saw several women shedding their clothing, and a few men.

Lamps around the boxes were extinguished, giving the occupants a shadow of privacy while leaving the center ring illuminated. The door opened and a young man of magnificent musculature was led out by that same woman. Following was a nude woman with an arrow quiver strapped to her back. Several rods were sticking out of it, of different shades of green, brown, or tan, made of varying materials. Some were wrapped in leather, others were bare wood or bare bamboo. She knelt with her back to the center.

Behind her was another naked male carrying an ornate wood box. He knelt beside her, lowered the box to rest on his thighs, and opened it. Arlyn could see the shining knives in sheaths in the lid, metal sticks in a tray.

As Cadell reached the center, he lifted his hands to grasp a metal bar hanging from the ceiling. Arlyn saw the scarred designs on his skin. One on a bicep, another on the back of a shoulder, another on a thigh.

The Marual selected a many tailed leather whip. Rather like what was used on a ship, but with many more tails and not as brutal in the construction, she took position behind Cadell. She swung it to the left and right of him, in wide arcs of a figure 8 that levelled out her speed. She brought the piece to the center to strike him with each pass. Fwap, fwap, fwap, fwap, steady and moderately fast, about three strikes per five seconds. Not very hard for the first minute, she increased force but not speed, bringing the whip harder on the downswing. 

Cadell stood solid and unmoving, not even flinching. He was looking out into the audience, bottom and top tiers, and smiled at someone below Arlyn’s box. 

The mop-like flogger dropped to the floor next to the female slave and the Marual grasped a handle to take an implement out of the quiver. A rod about two feet long that she used to strike him from the upper back down to the middle of the ribs, then she skipped over the soft tissue of his waist and took up again from high atop his ass down to just above the knee. Another skip of the knee and she smacked his calves. Down and up, down and up again, she made a good thirty passes with increasing force. His entire backside was pinked, beginning to stripe in welts.

She changed targets, whapping back and forth between his thighs until he had parted his feet as wide as she wanted them. Around to his front and she began to cane his chest and belly. He made not a single sound. Arlyn saw his cock was raging hard. She flinched inside her skin when the Marual smacked his cock with the cane.

She smacked his cock from base to tip, five times in total while he gripped the bars tighter and gritted his teeth. Back to the base, to strike the triangle of flesh above it, then down the length of his erection. He only grew harder. The cane went lower to strike the ball sack hanging between his thighs. It swung like a ball on a tether and she slapped it again, this time with her gloved hand.

It was the gentle stroke of that gloved hand, gripping around his cock, that made him grunt loud enough to be heard.

She stepped away to drop the cane onto the floor next to the flogger. Reaching into the quiver again, she took out a thinner stick that was much more flexible and whip-like. Standing behind him, she swung it to land on his right hip and drag across his buttocks. A slice of blood opened to drip down his behind. She struck again from the left. Arlyn saw the end six inches of the thin reed wrapped around his thigh to leave a deep red welt there before it dragged across his buttocks.

She was familiar with that sensation, if in a wider medium. Harmen’s belt wrapped around her hip like that, it’s folded tip leaving a particularly intense sting. Sometimes the edge of the leather left her marked for a week, he struck with such power.

Ten strikes with the reed-like rod and the Marual paused. The female slave came forward with a wet cloth from inside the box. She wiped down his backside.

“When this is over, will you come to my room with me?” Lenden asked.

She turned her head to look at him a few seconds, then let her eyes sweep across several boxes to see couples engaged in various sexual acts. Mouth were busy between legs, fingers were delving into orifices, hips were at work from behind.

“Why, when we can have sex right here?” she said, reaching down to the buttons of her pants to loosen them.

She stood to push them down and her eyes met Harmen’s. She smiled at him and sat to remove her boots and pants at the same time. Her loose shirt came off easily, was dropped onto the pile of clothing between the little table and the sofa bench. She leaned over onto her left side as he kicked off his pants and shoes and moved in behind her.

“Sure you want to do this?” he asked.

She reached around to grasp his half-hardened cock and stroke it. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to have sex more in my life,” she said.

He didn’t ask again, lifting her knee to place her leg over his thigh. She angled her buttocks backwards to give him better access. As the Marual was picking up her next implement, a six-inch-long metal stick, Arlyn sighed out her relief to be filled. Lenden kept himself to an even pace that allowed them both to watch the happenings below.

The Marual slowly worked the slender stick into Cadell’s penis, smiling at his grunts and struggle. With a gesture, she sent the female slave over to lick his cock and suck his balls. She then reached into the box to pull out a coil of leather. Tossing out the end showed the audience a four-foot whip. She snapped back and forth, cracking it. Several in the audience gasped with the sound. Arlyn had a cum, the sound so much like the sound of Harmen’s belt when it landed on her.

“Do you know the man scowling up at us?” Lenden asked.

Arlyn chuckled lightly, lifting a hand to his cheek. “Indeed I do.” She turned her head to whisper. “He’s my priest companion and he approves of nothing. So give it to me good and give him a wink when I cum.”

Lenden choked back a laugh and increased his speed. She quickly had another orgasm and he smiled at the face scowling up at him. He reached around to grip her puss from the front, watching Cadell get a whipping to his back and chest with a mouth slave kneeling under his cock. Arlyn lowered to lie fully on the sofa, eyes closing to enjoy her own pleasures while listening to the shouts from below. 

Cadell could no longer contain his vocalizations. The whip swung and he shouted, and Arlyn sighed with a near-climax. Cadell’s sounds continued, grunts and growls as he worked to regain control over himself. A good minute later, the whip swung again and he shouted again.

“You’ll want to see this,” Lenden said after some twenty shouts. “They’re about to finish.”

Arlyn opened her eyes to see the Marual reach around to grasp the ring at the end of the metal stick. She pulled it out of his penis in a slow and steady single motion. As soon as it was out, the mouth slave went to work. Cadell didn’t need long. Two minutes at most and he let go the bar to grasp his cock and finish off in spurts over the mouth slave’s face and gaping mouth.

Audience members not engaged in sex themselves applauded and the intermission commenced.

Read the rest of Arlyn: Adjutant & Apostle
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07646YM2Z

TylerRose. is known as Dame Tyler in the NYC public SM/Fetish scene. She is an award-winning author who has written two “lifestyle”, four cartoon, and twentysomething fiction books.

Read her books on her Amazon page — https://www.amazon.com/TylerRose./e/B00HCPLSP2

You can also find more of her OP/ED work in Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/305828

She enjoys crocheting and baking, and will no doubt die with a thesaurus open on her thigh.

The Male Chastity Conundrum

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male chastity device
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 I hope you have been enjoying Rika’s Lair, my monthly column dedicated to thoughts and experiences regarding power dynamics in Service-Oriented D/s relationships. Look up “Ms. Rika” in the search box for links to all of my articles in KinkWeekly! 

There’s this thing about male chastity cages: By their nature, they work when you DON’T do anything. The whole idea of chastity cages is that you put them on your subject and, until you decide to take them off, they do not get to have sexual pleasure. It seems simple: You just have to lock it on. However, it turns out, in practice, there’s a quite a bit more to it than that. 

The issue is, when he’s in that cage, his attention is on that cage at all times. Obviously, you expect him to have feelings of enduring something, suffering for you (in theory at least), and of sacrificing a very basic freedom. However, the device impacts him in many other ways besides limiting orgasms and erections. The device has weight and compression on his penis. It forces him to sit to urinate, changes the look of his clothing, often chafes a little, changes his gait, makes it different for him to clean, makes him self-conscious and aware of what’s visible to the outside world, makes it difficult for him to sit comfortably for long periods of time, and changes his sleeping habits. In short, he is physically aware of it – all day and all night. 

For the dominant, you close the lock and start the rest of your day. Nothing is making you aware that he’s suffering. Nothing is changing your daily routine. You have no constant reminders. For you, nothing changes – except for the few times in the week when sex is on the table (or in the bed!). 

And that’s part of the allure of the chastity fantasy: The slave suffers while the keyholder blithely goes about their day. All the freedom belongs to the keyholder; all the suffering/frustration to the locked. However, that’s just the fantasy. The reality is usually quite different. 

In reality, subs want to know that they’re not alone in their dynamic. They need to feel the dominant’s intent; to feel that what is being done to them, is being done TO them – and that the dominant is the one DOING it. They don’t just want to be limited; they want to know that the dominant is deliberately limiting them. 

The problem is, the sub constantly feels the “burden” of the device and is actively thinking about it at all times, but the dominant isn’t. This creates a disconnect – the threat to the sub is very real; that their submission is all in their head – and that the dominant is unaware of the extent of what the sub is going through. The sub wants the dominant to recognize the power the device has and to OPENLY LEVERAGE the helplessness that the sub feels. They want this – all the time, because they are reminded of it – all the time, and they’re thinking about it – ALL THE TIME. Since the dominant isn’t physically reminded, and isn’t being interrupted all day long, they may seem unaware of the extent of the sub’s predicament. 

Many men respond to this by “sharing” how they feel, especially when not asked. They feel the need to emphasize and highlight their frustration – both verbally and physically. They overtly show the desperation that they’re feeling – and sometimes act in “over-the-top slavish fashion”, in an attempt to demonstrate the “benefits” to the dominant of keeping them in chastity. They attempt to encourage the dominant to show recognition of their plight by acting on that advantage, and to do things like tease the sub to “make the frustration worse”. They need the dominant to demonstrate how much they enjoy his 

suffering and captivity. Sometimes (and unfortunately, often), they will even act up in an attempt to have the dominant react by punishing them, usually hoping that the dominant will use the device to increase their frustration (e.g., a punishment of another week in chastity!) Worse, if the dominant doesn’t react, subs often gets angry or melancholy, and in particularly bad situations, openly challenge the dominant’s abilities. 

The end result of all of this demand, is pressure on the dominant: Pressure to play the game; to give the sub what he perceives he should be receiving; to try to think about what the submissive is feeling as often as he is thinking about it. As I explained above, there is no natural driver for the keyholder to be as aware of the device as the wearer, so trying to be equally focused is simply not a realistic expectation. Trying to keep the sub’s condition in the front of your mind is a tall-order for someone who is supposedly the object of the submission and a lot of burden for the partner who is supposedly being served. Worse, when that pressure builds up on a dominant, no matter how confident they are, it’s too easy to interpret it as a lapse of their own abilities. All of which serves to undermine the integrity of the dynamic. 

I find that it helps to be aware of the disconnect and the way it presents. I find that knowing about the dichotomy of focus that chastity brings to the partnership, helps dominants to readily recognize the pressure their submissive is putting on them – so that they can deal with it in a more confident manner. 

Once you’ve recognized the pressure for what it is, you can decide how you want to react to it. When it happens to me (and it does for things, not only chastity related), the first thing I do is a little introspection to try to determine if the sub is just being needy, or if I actually have been a little distracted. 

If he’s being needy or just over-focused on the device, I generally tell him so, and tell him to get it under control. There is no “…or else” clause in this statement, because punishing him in response to neediness will reward manipulative behavior. Rather, I just insist on his adjustment. If he fails to do so, I’ll likely take him out of the device indefinitely. I’m not going to play the game if he’s not going to provide the self-discipline I demand. He will usually respond well, as he also understands the disconnect and knows by the other things I do (see CERAF in my books), that I am active and committed to our dynamic. 

On the other hand, if I feel that I may have been depriving him a bit of recognition, or have been neglecting him a bit, then perhaps a few “simple gifts” (read “Uniquely Rika” and “Uniquely Us” for a deeper discussion of simple gifts!) are in order, just to let him know I’m actively involved in the dynamic – and that I have put him in chastity for my own reasons. 

While controlling a sub’s orgasm is a common desire of dominants, the use of a device to do so is more often the sub’s desire. For many of the reasons above, using physical devices to force a sub to be chaste – is a fantasy more enjoyed by the wearer – and may be more of a burden for the keyholder. In many dynamics, including mine, putting a submissive into a chastity device is either a treat of sorts, or a shared symbolic gesture. It doesn’t define submission – or create it – but rather, is one of many ways to formalize a concept. I make my opinion well known to my subs: When the symbol becomes more important to the sub than the submission, it’s time to do away with the symbol! I’m willing to be aware of the disconnect, but I’m not willing to give up MY freedom for it. 

– Rika. 

Ms. Rika is a lifestyle dominant, educator, and author; living in the suburbs of NYC with her husband/slave. She has written several popular books on her approach to adding Dominant-Centric, Service-Oriented D/s to relationships. You can find her books (in both print and eBook formats) at Lulu.com (http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/msrika), or at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, the iStore, Books-A- Million, Kobo.com, or anywhere books are sold. Search for “Ms. Rika”. Write to me at Ms_Rika@hotmail.com

Let’s Switch!

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  • hot male submissive in collar
    via stock.adobe.com

In my search for entertaining and unique questions, I have run across many that are ridiculous. But rarely have I encountered a question that initially hit me as joke material, but then, on closer examination, had some very serious elements buried within. The following question is cut from this mold. So, laugh and learn!

Reader: Can two switches collar each other? How would this process work with power exchange? After ten years together, my partner and I would like to make our commitment outwardly clear, but we’re unsure as to the steps for our specific combination. We’re new to the BDSM community, and so any advice you can give us will be greatly appreciated.

First of all, after you are finished laughing at two people collaring each other, let’s make a distinction between a play collar and a commitment collar.

In a play collar situation, the answer is pretty obvious. All you have to do is negotiate who is the Top and who is the bottom for the scene, and the Top puts the play collar on the bottom and the scene proceeds. Unless you want to switch in the middle of the scene – or at five-minute intervals – this will work out just fine. It is when you are considering a real (for want of a better term) collar – one that implies a D/s relationship – where a little more thought is required.

The key thing to remember is that, in this case, collaring means commitment.Of course, since collaring evolved out of the term “slave collar,” it does have D/s implications in it. But, to me, the commitment aspects seem far more critical than any Dominant/submissive facets of it. As all of our BDSM rituals are not strictly codified, and are loosely based on an oral tradition that dates back to the Old Guard Leather Societies, there are no hard and fast rules for collaring. Thus, I see no valid reason why the two of you cannot be collared to one another.

BDSM is a constantly evolving lifestyle. The question is how best to go about it.As I see it – and this is new territory for me — you should figure out a way to preserve the “slave collar” tradition and adapt it to your personal situation. And here is my suggestion. Try to figure out which of you is the more dominant partner. Surely, as switches, you do not switch exactly fifty percent of the time. (Possible, but unlikely.) In your life, there must be a hierarchy that gives one or the other a bit more dominance or a bit more submission. Or, you might want to see which of you is more dominant or submissive in play.

After ten year together, you should have a feel for the dynamics, no matter how subtle the distinction might be.Using either criterion, the more dominant partner can offer the more submissive one the collar. This keeps it within the basic D/s framework. And if you are contemplating a ceremony with lifestyle friends, they will be more concerned with the commitment part of the ceremony than the personal Dom/sub components of your relationship on a day-to-day basis.You might also find that having a contract — although in your case it would not be a typical “slave contract” — might add a bit of clarity to the breadth and scope of your BDSM relationship.

I am a big advocate of contracts; a contract would be a useful adjunct to your collaring. Besides, the negotiations involved with contracts can be incredibly enlightening.In general, my personal problem with collars is with the Velcro aspects of them, not the nuts and bolts of who is collaring whom. I see far too many collars that are shorter lived than a Hollywood marriage. I could care less if a collared couple does not maintain a D/s dynamic that is consistent.

Let them switch, let them have vanilla days. My concern is that the collar truly means commitment. And in your case, as a ten-year couple, it seems that you have the commitment thing down.So go out and have a great ceremony. There is nothing more beautiful than to see a collaring ceremony witnessed by lifestyle friends. Especially when you know that it is a truly meaningful collar.And in your case, it sure seems like this collar will be on your — or your partner’s — neck for a long time.

About the Author

After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Video: Me, My Boyfriend, and My Slave

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Me, My Boyfriend And My Slave | EXTREME LOVE

In this week’s featured video by Truly, Domme and former kindergarten teacher Dahlia Rain opens up about the path that led to her current lifestyle which she shares with her boyfriend John and her slave Fluffy.

“I did the normal housewife thing. There were things that were missing. There were things that he didn’t want,” says Dahlia in the video. We hear you! Many of our readers have been there too.

Looks like you’re living your best life now!

Interview with Danny Stygion

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bio_pic

Can you tell us a little about your background, how you got started in being involved in this community, and about your current work within the community?

Danny Stygion: When I was 16, I watched a documentary on HBO called “Fetishes” in 1996. The documentary was about professional dominatrices at the New York Dungeon, Pandora’s Box. It opened my eyes to a hidden world of BDSM and fetishism. Around the same time, I came across Bettie Page, Dita Von Teese, and Marquis Magazine. I’ve always been drawn to the sight of a beautiful woman in nylons. That was my first fetish.

In 2002, I started doing photo shoots and producing events. The 2nd fetish ball I co-produced featured Dita Von Teese as our headliner. This was a couple months after she had just been on the cover of Playboy Magazine. In 2010, I co-founded Sinical Magazine (along with Jack Mallein and M. Porcine), which focuses on elegant fetish and dark pin-up photography.

What is your overall mission in relation to the Kink/BDSM community? How do your two magazines, subspace and Sinical Magazine, help to accomplish this?

Danny Stygion: My goal with Sinical Magazine was to present fetishism with elegance. The magazine grew slowly, but we’ve now featured many of the most recognizable fetish models, burlesque performers, and photographers, such as Dita Von Teese, Masuimi Max, Bianca Beauchamp, Steve Diet Goedde, and Chas Ray Krider, among others. subspace Magazine was launched several years later, and focuses on professional Dominatrices and the BDSM community. We’ve built up a decent network, and we produce two social gatherings/fetish balls a year, which gives our readers an opportunity to meet and network with like-minded people in a safe environment and enjoy performances. We are working towards producing a monthly private and members-only fetish/BDSM gathering as well.

What can one expect to find in each issue?

Danny Stygion: The magazines feature 4-6 exclusive and high-quality photosets with interviews with fetish models, burlesque performers, and dominatrices. We used to have more articles and fiction pieces, but it’s hard to keep consistent writers. I shoot a lot of the content myself, and Angela Ryan helps stylize a lot of the covers.

What is the most challenging aspect of your job? What is the most fulfilling?

Danny Stygion: Staying on schedule with people missing deadlines or not turning in quality content. Dominatrix sponsors changing their mind about their career path before the release of an issue.

The most fulfilling aspect is developing the network and reach of the magazine. Also, making an up and coming adult model, photographer, or dominatrix happy when we feature them.

What type of content do you feature?

Danny Stygion: Dark pinup/fetish imagery set against elegant locations or backdrops with moody/interesting lighting schemes. Stylized makeup and wardrobe, and fetish clothing focused on: nylons, corsets, latex, leather, etc. No cheesecake pin-up style photography. subspace Magazine focuses on the same, but has more Dungeon-type settings with interviews that promote Dominatrices, and articles that cover fetish/BDSM events.

How did your magazines get their start?

Danny Stygion: I researched magazine graphic design and self-publishing for several months before starting and launching the 1st issue of Sinical Magazine. The website was registered in November 2010. Print-on-demand services made it easier to publish magazines on your own, instead of having to spend thousands printing in bulk. Many magazines I’ve enjoyed and admired have disappeared from bookstore shelves, so I’ve been focusing on virtual distribution, e-mail marketing, and social media. I believe it is the way of the future for niche magazines.

How does one go about being featured in your magazine? How does one go about ordering your magazine?

Danny Stygion: We have submission information on our websites: www.sinicalmagazine.com and www.subspacemag.com. The images need to be unpublished. I rarely request a person to be in the magazine now. We receive enough submissions, and I shoot a lot of the content myself. People can order the magazines from our websites.

Are you a lifestyler as well? If so, how does this impact and/or benefit your professional work within the community?

Danny Stygion: I was married for ten years, and after my divorce in 2016, I started actively exploring BDSM and fetishism with various women in my private life. Post-divorce, I’ve consensually played with nine different women at Dungeon locations, hotel rooms, and even a graveyard once. I tried to have a personal D/s relationship with one woman, but it didn’t work out due to lack of communication and incompatibility. I did learn a lot from that experience, and I’ve had much better experiences since then. I’ve very busy, so I choose to explore kink in my private life when I have free time, as opposed to dating someone.  

Can you elaborate on your photography, filmmaking, and publishing endeavors? Do you have any new projects you are currently working on?

Danny Stygion: I don’t do many trade shoots anymore unless it’s someone I really want to photograph for the magazine. I’m mainly hired by professional dominatrices to shoot their ads, and by up and coming models and burlesque performers. I shot a short film in early 2017 called “Solitaire”. My goal is to shoot another short film this Summer. I’m currently deeply involved in the co-production of the 8th Anniversary Ball for Sinical Magazine, which will be held in Houston. It is the biggest production I’ve been involved with. I would like to see the Sinical events develop into a multi-day event with workshops, play parties, and a ball. We are headed in that direction. I work with 3-4 other partners on these events: C. Baulch, J. Short, M. Porcine, and J. Mallein.

In your opinion, what is the best way to hone your craft?

Danny Stygion: To keep shooting and learning new lighting techniques. Keep an open mind. I’ve been shooting for 15 years, and I’m still learning. Editing a magazine and seeing submissions all the time has definitely helped me in knowing what makes a photo great, and being able to interview my role models about their techniques also helps a lot.

Do you have any advice for those that are new to the community?

Danny Stygion: If you are a model or photographer, I suggest you do some research and work with quality people, and consistently submit your work and develop a good portfolio. If you are exploring BDSM, there are events and gatherings in each city. That is one way to start.

What would you say is the biggest challenge the community faces at the moment? What can/should be done about this? How does/can your work help to remedy this?

Danny Stygion: FOSTA/SESTA has affected a lot of people in our community, and I believe it was safer for people when they had advertising avenues that had screening processes. It has affected the livelihood of many friends of mine who are professional dominatrices, and  it has led to ridiculous censorship, such as hashtags like #lingerie and #stripper being banned from Instagram, for example. I try to do what I can with Sinical and subspace social media platforms, email newsletters, and magazines to help promote the people who support our mission.

Any closing thoughts?

Danny Stygion: I’ve poured what I’ve learned about producing magazines into an e-book guide called How to Create and Sell a Digital Magazine. I released this guide on Friday, June 15th.

Sinical Ball VIII will be held in Houston at the Westchase Hilton Hotel Ballroom on Saturday, Sept. 22nd, 2018, and will feature fetish and burlesque performances by Masuimi Max, Kimber Fox, Sabra JohnSin, and Mistress Genevieve. We will also have over a dozen guest dominatrices, workshops, a play party hosted by The Vault Dungeon, vendors, photo gallery, live body painting, and more. It will be a fun event and a night to remember.  

About Danny Stygion

Danny Stygion (born March 21, 1980) is a photographer, magazine publisher,
filmmaker, and podcaster. He is the co-founder and editor of Sinical
Magazine, established in November 2010. Sinical Magazine focuses on
alternative culture and fetish fashion and has featured the world’s top
alternative models such as Dita Von Teese, Masuimi Max, and Bianca
Beauchamp. The Sinical Magazine Podcast was founded in 2015.

In 2013, subspace Magazine was launched, focusing on professional
Dominatrices and BDSM.

In 2015-2016, he produced a series of magazine issues for NightCulture,
Inc., a producer of live electronic music events.

In late 2016, he co-founded an independent film and video production
company called LP-1126 Productions.

www.stygion.com
www.sinicalmagazine.com
www.subspacemag.com

 

Erotica: Maid Jeanette

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Photo by Vice Erotica
Photo by Vice Erotica

A Maid no more

I don’t think he could believe his eyes, the sorry fuck. He was staring at himself in the mirror like he was from another planet, and I suppose he was, in a sense. I suppose I saw some kind of hope in those frightened eyes of his. He really must have felt that I had some intention of letting things go back to the way they were just a few days ago. In that moment of his misunderstanding I almost felt sorry for him but for the fact that this was the key to all of my dreams…I mean, it was only…

…a few days ago…

“Jeanette, where are my slippers?”
His voice wasn’t as irritating as usual for some reason. I couldn’t put my finger on it, exactly, but when he was calling me to get his comfortable slippers to change into, there was something to his tone that was… different.
“One second, sir. I will bring them directly. Please have a seat and I will be right there.”
Always professional, as I had always been. I have been a professional housekeeper and maid for the last 5 years or so, right out of high school, as it was something my Mom was good at, and her Mom before her. Family calling, if you will. I started working for the Williams’ a couple of years ago and although they were more formal than most initially things had become a little more… casual lately. Aside from the obligatory black and white maid’s uniform I had to wear (complete with bonnet and apron), there were only a few ‘Old school’ traditions I had to adhere to with the Williams’.
The slippers were in their usual place, so with a muffled sigh I picked them up and brought them to the foyer.
“Here you are, sir. They were in your study, sir.” I did a half-curtsey as I had grown lazy over the last year or so. Although I knew all the formalities, I was lax in my technique. If only I had an idea how much I could have slacked off I could have had a cushy past 2 years.
“Oh, thank you so much, Jeanette. I am so sorry I forgot them there…” His voice trailed off. The apology was very sweet and sincere. It made me smile.
“Not a problem, sir. After all, it is why you pay me!” My smile warmed him up, as it always seemed to.
“Oh, why, thank you, Jeanette. I suppose it is…” There it was again. His voice, trailing off in a sweet tone. Something to it that was distracting me.
“Anything else, sir?”
“No, Jeanette, I… that is, not at all. Please, enjoy a break.”
“Certainly, sir. With permission, I will head outside for a few before Mrs. Williams’ gets home.”
“Of course, Jeanette. Thank you.”
Why the hell was he thanking me? Whatever. Spinning on my shiny black mary janes I headed to grab my cigarettes and lighter, and head to the back patio as I would a few times a day.
Lighting up and taking a deep drag, I let a little snap inhale out as I thought on my day. Mr. Williams was acting strangely for the last week or so, but I didn’t care as he was always harmless and in any case, we were about the same height. I suppose if it came down to it I could get away with a swift kick to the groin? Harsh, but maybe I was getting a little fed up with things in general.
And then it hit me.
I was getting a little upset because over the past few weeks Mr. Williams wasn’t exactly coming across as the Head of the Household to me. Not that Mrs. Williams was any more assertive, either.
Just then I heard Mr. Williams raising his voice from just inside the back door. He was on the phone, and likely to his office from the sound of things. I picked up the last few sentences…
“…I don’t give a fuck if you have to work until midnight! You dropped the ball since DAY ONE of this project and I am DONE having to hold your fucking HAND! Is that clear? I swear, if I have to…”
I got so excited hearing Mr. Williams all worked up and angry. I have no idea why, but for some reason I couldn’t help but want him. I could feel myself warming up at the thought…although Mrs. Williams was a lovely woman, the fact is I could tell they were drifting apart as a married couple. It didn’t matter to me as long as the checks cleared, so this new…development I was having left me without any shred of guilt if anything DID happen. As if I usually felt much guilt, anyway.
I hurried inside and saw Mr. Williams getting something from the refrigerator. I decided to make my move.
“Oh! Shit, Jeanette you startled me!”
“Yes, well, sorry for that Mr. Williams. I couldn’t help but overhear a little of your phone call and I wanted to check on you…”
I moved closer, holding the door to the refrigerator open as I leaned towards him.
Suprisingly, he leaned back, almost scared.
“Oh, that, well, I, that is… well, work has been a little stressful. Aside from you, Jeanette, it can be VERY hard to find good help!”
His little joke was followed by laughter. Nervous laughter.
Too nervous for me to ignore.
“Would you like me to fix you a drink, sir?” My smile shone, and was relentless now. I had no point on letting my eyes leave his, and I saw him practically shrink away from me.
“Yes, that… er… that would be lovely, Jeanette.”
“Certainly, Mr. Williams. I will be right back. Please have a seat in the living room, sir.” I stood there, forcing him to move past me to get back to the living room. Carefully, I leaned back to accentuate my cleavage while seemingly allowing him room to pass.
He didn’t know how much of a tease I could be.
As he approached and his nervousness was clear, I waited until he was near me, and leaned into him, my voice little more than a harsh whisper directly into his face. My tone was thick and teasing.
“Scotch and soda as usual, sir?”
He shuddered.
“Yuh… yes please, Jeanette.”
I smiled and waited. He spoke nervously.
“Uhm… excuse me?”
I let him pass. His reaction was a little surprising to me, considering the smoke on my breath (the Williams’ were non-smokers) and the fact I practically pinned him against the wall.
“Thank you, Jeanette.”
Lovely. He was starting to melt.
I hurredly fixed the drink, anxious to capitalize on my success in flustering Mr. Williams. The smile I had could not be contained and was fueled by the tease, the infidelity of it, and the fact that my ‘Boss’ of two years was in the palm of my hand!
I strutted into the living room, drink in hand, and stopping in front of him in his huge comfy chair, I bowed low to hand his drink on a silver platter, my cleavage practically punching him in the face. His eyes were fixed, agonizingly, into my own but I could see an immense struggle to avoid looking directly into my bodice and the deep cleavage I offered him.
“Thu… I… thank you, Jeanette.”
“Of course, sir. The least I could do.”
“Yes, that is… I appreciate it.”
I wanted to see how far I could go here. After all, what was the worst he would do with everything he has shown me so far today?
“Yes, of course you do.”
He looked shocked.
“What? That is, what do you mean?”
“Oh, nothing, sir…” I spun again on my heels and shuffled out of the room, careful to sway my hips and skirt to and fro.
I waited. I knew he wouldn’t wait long.
“Jeanette? I would like another, please?” His tone was appropriately respectful. And that was when it hit me. That was the new thing I was noticing about him lately. He was more respectful with me and, to a lesser extent, Mrs. Williams.
In other words, he was weaker.
It occurred to me that he must’ve slugged his first drink down like a shot. I decided to weaken his resolve and made the next one stronger.
“Well, here you are, sir.” My tone was a little less than respectful and I merely lowered the tray and drink to within his reach. No deep cleavage for him this time.
“Uh.. thank you, Jeanette.” He was disappointed. Looks like he expected the curtsey from me, after all!
“Yes, of course.” No ‘sir’. Let’s see how that worked for a while.
I turned and left, practically counting the minutes to see how long before he would call me back.
I didn’t wait as long this time.
“Uh, Jeanette? Are you there? Could I have another?” His tone was a lot more… what was the word? Anxious? Nervous? Hungry, perhaps?
No.
Desperate.
This drink would be the strongest yet and I expected to be done serving drinks to his empty gut after this. He would be ‘Good to go’.
“Here you are. Enjoy!” I barely reached forward at all and made him stretch to get to the drink. The look on his face was priceless… a perfect image of ‘need’.
“Thank you, Jeanette. I really appreciate you doing this.”
“What, you mean my job?” I was barely being polite at this point.
I wanted to know how far I could push this.
“Well, I suppose, Jeanette. It’s just that…”
“What? You are having the tough time at work? I guess…”
“I don’t understand, Jeanette? What do you mean? We pay you well?” He was genuinely concerned. And genuinely hooked.
“Whatever. I get to wear this outfit and clean up after you, Bob. How happy should I be, Mr. Big Shot Executive?”
“I, excuse me, Jeanette, but please call me ‘Mr. Williams or, that is…” I saw he was trying to push back a little.
I knew how to handle that.
“Bob, I asked you a question.”
This would be it. Moment of truth. I laid my cards on the table, put myself in front of him looking like I do in my too-tight maid’s outfit, cleavage bursting, and standing as if I was Queen of the World.
His move.
“I see your point, Jeanette. I can see that you aren’t exactly happy.” The crushed look on his face was adorable.
“An understatement.” I deliberately put my well-manicured hands on the curves of my hips. My stance was confident, and the look on my face was stern.
“Yes, Jeanette, I am sorry about that. Is this about a raise?”
“No, but now that you mention it, I need one. No, this is about something else, Bob.”
“I see, well, I am sure we can work out a raise…”
“I wasn’t finished, Bob.” I cut him off again. Something I have been trained NEVER to do. Well, so much for THAT.
I paused. He clearly was getting the message and quietly waited for me to speak. His breathing was labored, and I could see him start to sweat. He was getting hot, but then, so was I.
“As I was saying Bob…” Emphasizing that I would not be using either ‘sir’ or ‘Mr. Williams’ in this conversation, if I ever did again.
“I am seeing a pattern here lately. Do you know what that is?” My tone was condecending.
“No, that is, I don’t know what you mean?”
“You probably don’t. Well, I think it’s pretty clear that you have been the big boss man at work lately, is that a fair assessment?”
“Yes, Jeanette, it is…”
‘Jeanette’ wasn’t going to work anymore, but best to wait to spring THAT change on him.
“Of course it is. And lately around the house you have been, well, let’s say LESS so, is that correct?”
“I, that is, I suppose so…” He didn’t know what was happening but he sat there, sweating and hot, as I chided him.
“Suppose has nothing to do with it, Bob. I have noticed that you have demonstrated less of a spine around me lately. Why do you think that is?”
“I wouldn’t say…”
“I wasn’t looking for some EXCUSE. I asked you a QUESTION!” I shouted down at him. His eyes were pleading and weak and the rush of power was intoxicating.
“Sorry, Jeanette, I don’t know why that is.”
“Well, you can tell that I have been in charge of the household operations, correct?”
“Yes, Jeanette, you have.”
“Top to bottom, right?”
“Yes…”
“You have been in charge of nothing. You have simply been running around in your comfy slippers while I make dinner, drinks, clean, etc.”
“Yes…”
“Well, I don’t think I should be doing that any longer, do you?”
“I, why??” He knew he made a mistake but he couldn’t understand it. He tried to pull back or retract his statement.
“Uh, Jeanette, what I mean is…” He was scared.
Of me.
I had to be careful here, but I already knew where to go with lovely little Bob here.
I dropped the empty silver tray at his feet, leaned forward, and slapped him hard in his face.
“Shut the fuck up!”
SLAP! I hit him again.
“I am so sorry Jeanette, I didn’t mean anything by it…”
He apologized to me.
I slapped him. Twice. And he apologized to me.
Too easy.
“Fucking pathetic, you know that? You are a real piece of work.”
“What? That is, what did I do Jeanette? How can I make it up?”
“HA! Listen to you! Apologizing to the maid after she slapped you like a bitch! What an asshole. I knew you were sprung on me, but really? REALLY?”
My derision was thick, bordering on open hatred.
“I, what can I do?”
I mocked him.
“‘Oh…what can I do??’ God, you disgust me. No spine. Treat your other subordinates like shit over the phone but here you are kissing the maid’s ass.”
“I am not, Jeanette, it’s just that…”
“You aren’t? You mean to tell me that if I told you to kiss my ass you wouldn’t?”
“Why, that is.. no, I wouldn’t…”
“Wanna bet?” My smile was wide and hateful.
“I….” He was stunned.
“Kiss my fucking ass, Bob.”
“What? I can’t…”
SLAP! SLAP! Hard on his face again.
“You can and you WILL, bitch. Kiss my fucking ass.”
He stared at me longingly. His eyes were sad and pleading. As if I wasn’t going to go through with it…
Laughable.
I simply waited for the inevitable.
He leaned forward and puckered his lips a little.
“HA! Oh my god! Look at you! Fucking pervert! You really want to kiss my ass!”
“No, I… that is… please don’t…”
“Don’t what? Well, Bob? Don’t WHAT?!?” I shouted in his face, the smell of smoke on my breath from earlier was carried farther by the spit I unleashed in my anger.
“Sorry, Jeanette, what I mean is…”
“Okay, enough of that shit right now. Jeanette is too informal for you, bitch. You will address me as ‘Ma’am’ or ‘Madam’ from now on, is that clear?”
“Yes, Madam, thank you.”
“HA! Spineless. The ‘thank you’ was a nice touch… looks like you can be trained.”
“I, well…”
“Shut up. Get out of that chair…”
He started to stand up. Big mistake.
SLAP! I reached my hand back after slapping him and pointed to the floor at my shiny shoes.
“I wasn’t finished! I didn’t say you can stand?!?! Now get down on your knees right here!”
He looked down where I pointed and dropped to his knees just like that.
“Wow. I didn’t expect that. You really are a pussy whipped little bitch for me, aren’t you?”
“I… yes, Madam.”
I laughed down at him.
“Good girl. Now then, what to do about you…”
He looked at me longingly, sadly.
“Aw how sweet… Bob here is just a sad little bitch for Jeanette, aren’t you?”
“I…yes, Ma’am.”
I reached my lovely red nail to underneath his chin, digging in a little and moving upwards until his throat was practically exposed to me. His eyes looked up desperately, hungrily. I suppose I should have paced myself in pushing him but this was all so…easy.
“Now, as I said earlier, you will kiss my ass with those lips that you kiss your lovely wife with.”
He seemed frozen, his mind racing, locked by my single finger under his chin.
“Please, don’t make me, Madam…” The plea in his voice told me all I needed to know about his limits with me.
So far there were none.
“Make you? I am going to do one better than that, you disgusting piece of filth.”
He was aroused, the tent in his dress slacks looked like it was capped with a damp spot. So not only was he aroused by my abuse but he was leaking, too.
“No, Ma’am, please no…”
“Beg me.” My smile was wicked.
“Please…
“Please may I kiss your ass, Madam?”
My cruel gaze froze him, my nail was carving into his chin which was turning white, and the look in his eyes was one of pure fear and adoration.
His fear would get stronger, and I enjoy letting it grow inside him.
I didn’t give a shit about the second one.
“HA! Listen to you… you really want it?”
“…yes, please, Madam. Please may I kiss your ass?”
“Well…since you begged so spinelessly, go ahead…knock yourself out.”
With that, I spun around and offered my round ass to his loving lips. I could feel them, soft, and caring, as they touched my ass with a tender caress. The boy really knew how to kiss ass…I turned to look at him over my shoulder.
“You really are a sad sight, you know that? But that’s okay… Madam Jeanette here has a plan for her little girl. From now on you will do exactly as I say without question, or you will be very sorry. You are to follow me, crawling, at my heels. If you are more than three feet behind me, you will be very sorry. If you get closer than two feet to my shoes, you will be very sorry.
“Basically, anything that results in me being disappointed in the SLIGHTEST, will make you very sorry. You will regret having been born, you spineless fuck. Is that crystal clear to you, bitch?”
“Yes, Madam.”
The defeat in his voice was delightful.

I left him there, kneeling, and I could feel him teeter forward as I took my ass from his lips and started to walk away. He dropped forward and I could hear him crawling behind me.
This was a test, of course. How well could Bob here follow his new orders? And more importantly, how much punishment would I be able to deliver once he failed? It wasn’t as though he was used to crawling around on all fours, after all.
I started for my room on the ground floor (the Master bedroom and Bath were on the second floor, the Maid’s chambers, washroom, etc. were all here on the ground floor) and moved quickly enough to make him work to follow me like the eager dog he was becoming.
The very thought that with each step he was more my pet made me hot and wet.
“Very good, Bob. You can follow orders! And you ‘heel’ so well!” My tone was matched only by the hateful things I was saying to him.
“Look at you crawling on all fours for the maid. I bet your employees would love to see you now, huh?”
I could feel his ego bruising with my words. So much so that he couldn’t answer me.
I gave him exactly two seconds and he failed.
I stopped dead in my tracks and turned to face him.
Leaning down to meet his pleading eyes, I reached my hand back slowly.
SLAP!!
“I asked you a fucking question, bitch!”
“I am so sorry Jean…Ma’am.”
SLAP!
“Make that mistake again and I will truly hurt you. Now ANSWER ME, whore!”
“I am sure my employees would find it funny, Ma’am.”
“Funny? Find what funny, bitch?”
He almost was tearing up.
“Crawling. Crawling on all fours for the maid, Ma’am. They would find that funny, Ma’am.”
Satisfied in so many ways, I turned and kept walking back to the maid’s chambers… my room.
I stopped at the door. Opening it, I gestured mockingly.
“Ladies’ first, whore….”
He bowed his head slightly and crawled into my room. I followed behind, closing and locking my door.
“Now then. You are probably wondering why we are here.”
“Yes, I…”
SLAP!
“It wasn’t a question, worm. I don’t care what you have to say for yourself. Interrupt me again at your own fucking risk.”
“Yes, Ma’am… I am so sorry.” Yes, he really was. As I gazed down at him, almost shivering with fear, I felt a hot rush come over me. Here he was, my ‘Boss’ on all fours and afraid of me. All the while his little dick was stiff and dripping.
“Well, I am sure you are wondering why I led you here. Well, here are the facts.
“You, Bob, are a little prick. It looks like you HAVE a little prick, too, but first things first.” I paused to let the insult to his ‘manhood’ sink in. After all, I couldn’t have my new slave deluding himself with dreams of actual sex with me.
No, that would never happen. His weakness and his dick were tools that allowed me to subjugate him. I decided to illustrate the lessons.
“You are my bitch. That is a statement of fact. Take off your clothes while I continue.”
Stunned, he sheepishly started to remove his shoes, then shirt, then unbuckled his pants, and slowly slid them down, all the while glancing up at me in the hopes I would stop this and somehow preserve his poor ego from further damage.
As IF.
“As I was saying…. you are my bitch. As my bitch, you no longer deserve clothes. Well, male clothes, anyway. No, as a spineless little whore for me, you will be dressed appropriately even if that is not dressed at all.
“That means no more male clothes for you, if any clothes at all. Your naked little shame should be on display for me to laugh at, punish, or ridicule. Actually, probably all three.”
My smile was as wide as could be and I could barely contain my joy at these events.
“See how your little cock is stiff and dripping as I abuse you and put you in your place? That is all I need to know. You will suffer, and as long as that disgusting thing of yours keeps begging for more I assure you that your life will be miserable.”
I walked to my closet, and although it was full of surprises for my new piece of property, I was only interested in one particular toy. I had to establish the order of things, and quickly.
Turning back to face him, smiling my lovely smile, dressed in my too-tight formal maid’s uniform, my well-manicured nails catching the light, I held up the toy in plain view for my naked, kneeling, former boss.
The dildo was thick and black, too large for me most times, but that wasn’t important for tonight. After all, this was about power and pain. I slipped the harness up one leg slowly, revealing my lacey black panties and my sheer stockings, and fastened the dildo to it firmly. Letting it hang there, staring at him, I grabbed the base firmly with my left hand and slowly pointed to the floor in front of me.
“Crawl to mommy, you faggot.”
He stared, wide eyed, from his place on the floor. I waited for a moment and watched as his still stiff cock kept glistening with pre cum slime.
Bob wanted to make Madam Jeanette happy no matter what the cost.
I wanted him to know he was no longer in charge and I knew this would hammer the point home, pun intended.
“You realize that I am not going to tell you what you have to do, don’t you?”
“I do, Ma’am.”
“I want something from you, well, more than that lovely ass, anyway.”
“Yes, Ma’am.” So adoringly compliant.
“Well?” My smile was warm and his eyes drank it in. He was all mine.
“May I please….” He hesitated. I would allow him this as I wanted him to truly feel this moment.
“Go on?” I met his eyes and watched him stare longingly at me. Was it mercy he wanted?
“May I please suck your cock, Madam?”
“Aw, so sweet of you to ask.” His face flushed with shame.
“Come closer.”
I thought of all the things I wanted to do with him as he crawled ever closer to me and my strap on dildo dangling crudely between my legs. I smiled down at him as I thought of his lips wrapped around my fake tool and the idea of how hard I was going to make this ordeal something he would never forget. Which is why I leaned over and pulled my camera into full view.
He stared blankly and slack jawed up at the camera. I didn’t hesitate.
FLASH! The camera’s image of his gaping wide mouth was perfect, showing just the very tip of my artificial cock challenging him to swallow it. I moved the cock a little closer and, my eyes freezing his in a locked stare, another FLASH! as my camera caught another embarassing image of the soon-to-be-cocksucker.
“I….” As he started to stammer something I moved my cock to touch his lips.
“Shhhhh…. there, there, whore… get your mouth to work on my cock. Show me what a little faggot you are while I take these pictures…”
FLASH!
He hesitated. I let him have that, also. The look of confusion and disgust on his face while this monstrous cock bobbed near his open mouth made for some amazing photos regardless of whether or not he was actually sucking me yet. And besides, I knew it was going to happen and the longer it dragged on the more painful it seemed to be for him. I was flushing hot. This was all working so well.
I stood there, imperiously, owning the moment even as I owned my former boss, and gently took my hand to the back of his head.
“Now, enough hesitating, bitch. Let’s take some pictures of you showing what a dirty little homo you really are, shall we?”
“Please….don’t…” Ignoring his plea, I continued.
“I asked you a question” I gazed harshly down at him. He was clearly losing his grip on his masculinity, tenuous though it may have been recently. He moved closer to the cock, closing his eyes and wincing. I hesitated a moment and took a careful, almost understanding, tone as I whispered into his ear.
“No, no… not like that…” He turned to look at me, terrified, and I moved the camera while he moved his lips onto my cock. FLASH! I pulled the cock away again, just a little.
“You have something to do first.”
He was confused. I was growing to love that look. Even so, I changed from a hot whisper to a violent hiss into his pathetic face.
“Beg me, FAGGOT!”
“Please, Miss Jeanette, may I suck your cock.”
“Good. Well, a start anyway. Try again.” FLASH! My camera got his fear and his humiliation as his lips wrapped around the cock violating his barely-willing mouth.
“Please may I suck your lovely cock, Miss? May I please lick it and suck it, Miss?” His sincerity was almost moving. FLASH! Almost.
“Sure. Go nuts, whore.” My smile was wide as I glared down at him.
“Disgusting. You really seem to know how to please a cock… you have a great technique… are you sure you haven’t done this before? Like, a LOT of times before?” He tried to mumble something but I just shoved his head further down on my thick dick.
“Wow. You are taking almost the whole thing, aren’t you, fag? Damn. I can’t even get the tip in without hurting and here you are with your whole mouth on it. Slurping. Sucking. Just like a whore. A real pro. You are inspiring me. I bet you could suck just about ANYthing after this, huh? And I can tell you would make a fleshy cock REAL happy! I bet you could coax a hot load from even a fake cock like MINE!” I was laughing at him and I was drinking in the fact he was tearing slightly from the shame, humiliation, and pain of the violation. He was losing his masculinity and being turned into something else. Something obedient. He was breaking more with every moment.
I have to admit the next few hours were a bit of a frenzy for me. I forced myself on him as he sucked me off like a back-alley whore. I got tired of towering over him and sat at my Vanity while he ‘pleasured’ my strap on cock. It was all so surreal…

“You really are gulping my cock down, aren’t you? And you begged for it, too? Nasty slut.” FLASH! He moaned at the latest flash, clearly afraid and trembling now as he knelt before his former maid and sucked her thick strap on cock.
“Didn’t like that one? Didn’t it show off your… good side?” Chuckling, she started fucking his face hard, her hips hammering into his not-quite willing mouth as the cock slid in and out of his wet, dripping, lips. FLASH!
“How about that one?” FLASH! “Or that one?” FLASH! “Now look up at the camera, whore…” FLASH! “Yeah, that caught your fear really well…” FLASH! “And there’s no mistaking who it is deep throating my cock like a back alley prostitute.” FLASH! And so it went for what seemed like an hour to him.
“I am getting sick of this… show me you want it, whore.” She grasped his head roughly and forced him back and forth onto her cock as he struggled to maintain balance in the force of her hips and manhandling. FLASH! The camera caught his sweat, his desperation, and his struggle to desperately try to keep his sucking mouth on her thick cock as it forcefully penetrated his seemingly hungry mouth.
“Yeah.. just like that, keep sucking, faggot. Look at you, how proud your parents will be if they see these pictures… actually…WHEN they see them!” FLASH!
“Whuuuuu!” He mouthed a frightened mumble into Jeanette’s crotch and cock.
“Oh, you didn’t think I was taking these pictures just for your personal album, did you? Oh no, whore, I have plans for you. And them. Soon you’ll BEG me to ‘out’ you as a sissy cocksucker to your family… and your friends… and basically anyone I feel like…you are here to service me.”
Although clearly upset he continued to suck and slurp while his drool went around his lips, down the shaft of the now glistening cock, and added to the noise of his cocksucking.
“Nothing to say to that? Not even trying to say ‘Stop, please, don’t!'” Her mocking tone made his face flush an even deeper red of pure shame.
“Of course you aren’t, bitch. You know you’re place…” FLASH! “I have been taking dozens of pictures of your whore mouth wrapped around my cock and sucking for all its worth…” FLASH! “There is no way you can think that you are ANYthing except my bitch now, right?” She tugged hard on his hair and yanked him to one side, his mouth still affixed to her thick cock. FLASH! “I mean, look at you, desperate to keep sucking on my dick like your pathetic little life depended on it…”
He was practically crying now as it all kept sinking in.
“I bet it hurts you to think of it… the fact that your maid is your owner. No sympathy. No mercy. Just service at my hands.” FLASH!
“Mmmmmmm…” He was trying to agree, showing his obedience.
“And you are a drippy little whore while it’s happening, too…” She touched the tip of her shoe to his stiff dick as it strained for release. He practically fell apart from the twitching.
“So sensitive…” FLASH! Right at the image of her shoe touching his hard on. FLASH! “And I bet you’d like to cum? Desperate to make a mess after you’ve been so degraded and humiliated by me, huh?” He tried to nod his head while sucking her fake cock.
“Yeah, disgusting. Showing me just how horny and pathetic you are for my cock… for my abuse.” FLASH!
He tried to wince and hide, but she would not let that happen. Ever again.
“HA! Trying to avoid the truth, faggot? Trying to hide that you are just a horny little cumslut?” FLASH! She stroked his hard on gently, at first, but picked up the pace as he started to gyrate against her shoe and the friction she was causing.
“Yeah, like that, fag… show Mommy how horny you are…” FLASH! “Grind like a stripper on the pole for me…” FLASH! “I bet you wish you were anyplace else…” FLASH!
“Besides on your knees…
“Sucking my cock…
“Begging for abuse…
“And desperate to cum at how cruelly I’ve treated you…” FLASH!
“I am going to get the whole thing on camera. You cumming like a little slut while you fuck my shoe.” FLASH!
“Look at you… still sucking away and desperate to please me… such a whore…” FLASH!
“You’re going to cum now, bitch. You are going to show me just what a pathetic, subhuman, piece of shit you really are. What kind of man cums when he’s rubbing on a shoe?” FLASH!
“A filthy animal would have more dignity, don’t you think?” FLASH!
She stopped moving and he stared up at her, his eyes wildly desperate.
“ANSWER ME, WHORE!” She slapped his face with the slick cock for emphasis. He knew what he had to do.
Degrade himself even more.
“An animal has more dignity, Miss. Please let me make my little whore mess on your shoe while you fuck my face, please?” FLASH!
“Disgusting.” She moved slowly again. His moaning started up like clockwork while he worked his hard on into a frenzy.
“Yeah, just like that…” FLASH! She was smiling again. Her clinging outfit showing her sheen of sweat from her efforts at fucking his face raw. Her lovely smile was bright, in contrast to the cruel and dark things she was inflicting on this mostly willing subject.
“You’re going to make a mess while you suck my cock, whore.” FLASH!
And he did. He started grinding without hesitation as his hard on started spilling his hot, white, seed. She was laughing at him, and abruptly stopped her gyrations on his dick without missing a beat of her hips and fucking his face like a seasoned pro. He continued to slurp and suck at her cock even as he was losing his mind to pleasure from the mixture of humiliation, degradation, and stimulation. The puddle was thick and wide and he continued to suck her cock desperately. He knew what she wanted.
“Look at you… waiting for permission to stop, I take it?” FLASH! His nodding and bobbing head signalled her that he was learning.
“Repulsive little faggot. I’m almost done with you…” FLASH! “In the future you know you won’t be making any sissy faggot messes without taking a few loads yourself, right?” Her smile was wicked. He nodded.
“Good… and you know that it won’t be easy. ANY of it. You will be degraded and worked harder than tonight, bitch. I have enough to build on now, though… you are one trapped little whore.” FLASH! “I mean, a picture of you sucking a fake cock while you look like… this…” She gestured dismissively with disgust in her voice. “Would be enough, but a picture like THIS?” FLASH! “With you sucking with a puddle of YOUR cum between your legs? That is completely disgusting…”
He was shamed. But she wasn’t done yet.
“But I want more.
“Clean up your mess.” He looked up at her, shocked.
“With your tongue.” FLASH!

That evening passed in a blur for him I think. I know it did for me and like a kid on Christmas I couldn’t wait to get up the next morning and really start to play with my new toy. Maybe he thought he would get away by running off to work but I had other plans and since I always woke before the rest of the house…

I heard the shower running a full 30 minutes earlier than usual and since Mrs. Williams was downstairs enjoying the breakfast I prepared for her (Something I wouldn’t be doing for much longer, THAT was certain…) I knew I could do what I wanted.
Which was, to be blunt, remind my little bitch boy who was in charge in the house.
I heard the Master Bathroom door open and could feel a rush of hot air from the shower. I was careful to be quiet in my strappy heels on the plush carpet (thinking of where the stains might be from last night) and moved inside the bedroom and closed the door silently. I stood, hands on hips (a pose I would strike all the time, I thought to myself.) and ready to start in on him again.
The picture of him still dripping wet from the hot shower and trying to clean the filth off of last night made me tingle in victory. Before long I would have dragged him through so much shit a firehose with bleach couldn’t get the filthy whore clean. My smile was from ear to ear at the thought and went wider as he walked into the bedroom, just a few feet from where I stood. He was, as I pictured, a little drippy from the shower, a towel draped to cover his formerly private bits, and moving with purpose to the closet on the far wall to get dressed quickly.
“Do you think I would let you leave without paying your respects you pathetic little fuck?” My voice was pure iron and was matched only by my steely gaze as I looked him up and down.
“Please, Jeanette… I don’t know what to do…”
“Of course you don’t. You are a disgusting little pervert who must be TOLD what to do. From now on you will need my permission to fucking blow your goddamn nose or didn’t I make that clear last night, faggot? Maybe you forgot who was in charge with my thick cock down your faggot throat?”
I paused, smiling slightly as I thought of the image of his sad eyes looking up as I plunged my cock down into his mouth.
“No, Miss, it isn’t that…”
“Oh NOW you remember how to properly address me? Trust me, I am trying to be patient with you but I think I am going to have to take more drastic steps with you. Maybe your wife should see the pictures from last night so you can avoid any confusion as to your PLACE in this house? I wonder if you would be so distracted without that slut running around here deluded into thinking that she is still married to a man instead of the sissy faggot cocksucker you really are?”
I could see him flush with humiliation and fear even as his dick made a tent out of his towel.
“Well, I think we can both see just what you REALLY think?” I pointed down at his tent.
“That insignificant piece of shit between your legs seem to tell you what your insignificant piece of shit between your EARS forgets? That…” I walked up to him, confidently, powerfully.
“I…” Grabbing his little dick I emphasized my point. Painfully.
“am in charge. Of THIS!” I squeezed and watched him nearly double over in pain and shame.
“Of YOU! I am in charge, and you serve me as my whore. Kneel.”
Without a word he dropped to his knees and cast his eyes down at my shiny shoes.
“Lick my shoes while I finish explaining a few things to you, bitch.” He did, of course. His tongue caressing my shoes like his wife’s body.
“You are a disgusting pile of filth. A worm in a ‘man’s’ body. You deserve to be kneeling before your superiors and reminded constantly of your place on the floor, serving anyone who knows what a repulsive bitch you are. I know the truth. And more people are going to know. How SOON they know is strictly up to you, faggot. Should you keep disobeying me, or trying to pretend you are human, I will be forced to remove the doubts you have.
“Doubts that I am in charge.” I moved my other shoe to one of his hands and stepped down.
“Doubts that you might not deserve to suffer.” I leaned down and I could tell by how he froze he could sense me moving closer, my smell hitting his senses. My perfume. My arousal.
“Doubts about being a faggot, or whore.” I pulled his head up by his air and hissed in his face as he quivered, blushing, and clearly aroused to the point of dripping.
“Doubts that you enjoy this.” I took my foot and caressed his little dick in the towel and watched him squirm.
“Beg me to rub your dick on my nice shoe.”
Without hesitation he breathlessly spoke in a tone that demonstrated how aroused he was.
Lost. Hopelessly gone.
“Please Madam may I rub my little dickie against your lovely shoe?”
“So pathetic. Desperate, aren’t you?” I smiled down at him cruelly. Too easy.
“Yes, Miss… I am. Please…” I rubbed a little and watched, triumphantly as he started to move on my shoe.
“Grinding my shiny leather shoe the way a stripper grinds a pole. Fucking whore.”
“Thank you, Madam…”
“HA! And you’re grateful… I wonder what your wife might say if she say you here. Fucking my shoe like some dog humping a leg?” I pulled tight on his hair to cock his head to one side.
“Uhnnn… please, no, Madam…”
I spat in his face. A thick wad of spit that still smelled of my morning cigarette.
“Disgusting.”
“Thank you, Madam.” He was so ashamed. But continued to rub against my shoe.
“Doesn’t stop you, does it? You know the truth. You know your place. Fucking slut.” My disgust was obvious, and real.
“Yes, Madam, I am. Thank you…” He was moaning and clearly close to making his mess.
“I just wonder what Mrs. Williams would think if she saw you here, kneeling before the maid and begging to cum on her shoe? She’s going to know if she doesn’t already.” He shuddered.
“The truth hurts, doesn’t it, whore? Who knows I might have you tell her yourself, dressed in some pink dress or lingerie like a tranny hooker walking the street.” I drank in his fear and shame.
But he kept rubbing.
“Or maybe I will just have a chat with her and discuss how best to divorce you and split your life apart into pieces, leaving you with practically nothing. Least of all whatever shred of dignity you have left once I’m finished with you…”
“Uhnnn… please no, Madam…”
“I do not like to hear you mouth that word. Ever.” I kicked him. Hard. He reeled and grabbed his junk with one hand as he bent over. I lifted my shoe and touched it gently to the back of his neck.
“You made a little mess with your pre-cum, slut.”
“Please no, Madam. I have to kiss my wife…”
I pressed his face down, but not all the way. I needed him to do it.
“Beg me, whore. Beg me to lick up your slime before you kiss your wife goodbye with those same cocksucking lips.”
“Please… please may I lick up my slime for you, Madam.”
“For me? Oh, I don’t think so. No, it’s something you should do so that when wifey comes back in here and sees the mess she doesn’t think about what you might be up to. No, try begging again.” I looked down at him and could see him trembling in fear.
“Please may I clean up my slime Madam with my faggot tongue?”
Perfect. He was learning.
“I suppose, since you asked so nicely, whore. Put that face down it. Really down into your slime, and get it nice and clean.”
And he did. Enthustiastically.
“And what do you say, whore?”
“Thank you, Madam.”
I turned and left. I would have all day to think about how much fun this was going to be.

CAservice is an experienced, service oriented edge player in Los Angeles. Active in the local community, he is honored to be an Elite boy for Club WICK and a founding member of SSGA. When he’s not busy writing down the naughty thoughts in his brain, he can be seen serving at the feet of an number of Dominas.

BDSM Financial Domination: A How To

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Portrait abaout a beatiful woman who showing money

Financial Domination is one of the most popular and controversial forms of BDSM currently trending. Many are dubious of the legitimacy of this form of domination while some of the most popular BDSM news stories center around women raking in the cash with these techniques. One point that cannot be denied is that many people enjoy this form of consensual, financial domination. Our contributor Jezebel Sinclair is here to offer clarity and tips on how to get started. -anniebear

The Complete Beginner’s Guide To Financial Domination
I’m no novice to the world of financial domination. I’ve been around since 2009 and have had my fair share of mishaps, errors, embarrassments and so forth in the industry since everything I did was trial and error and I never had anyone to guide me or mentor me upon entering the scene. Nobody is perfect but there’re always a few key factors that can help you steer clear of making the classic mistakes that most Dommes make upon making the choice to dive head first into financial domination. I decided to write this because one peek into my fetlife & email inbox will reveal an astounding number of messages from fellow Dommes who ask for advice. I had written a short blog in the past to help new Dommes which I even pinned as a page on my website for females navigating my site who need help and want tips but it wasn’t as thorough as I thought it would be and I still get questions every day so without further adieu, I’m going to get right to it and answer questions that up and coming ladies ask me often.

How do I get a slave?
The answer to this varies from person to person. It really comes down to your own personality and what you are/aren’t willing to deal with. Some subs require LOADS of time and if you’re looking for a quick buck without spending any time with the sub in question, you’re probably going to have a really hard time finding someone. Honesty goes a long way in this fetish and being up front about your abilities and experience is key simply because if you lie about your experience and then have a session with an experienced sub, he will notice. To get a long term sub you have to build a rapport with the sub in question and learn about each other. Remember that long term D/s relationships are exactly what they sound like – a relationship. Just because money is involved does not mean that it should be meaningless.

How do I make myself approachable/desirable?
This one is completely up to you. Different strokes for different folks. Everyone has different tastes when it comes to attitude and looks. To be successful you have to come to terms with the fact that you will not be desirable to everyone and that’s okay. The best thing I can suggest is to be yourself, be honest and fill out your profiles/websites. A well written profile with good content (photos, writing) is possibly the BEST thing you can do to help market yourself. Fill out every last information block, you never know when a sub will want to approach you simply because they think you have an amazing music taste or they like your vanilla activities. Remember that your profile or website is literally the only thing a sub has to go on to form an opinion on you and in this fetish first opinions mean everything. The way you present yourself is ultimately going to be what subs think of you. If you come across as someone who doesn’t care about their profile, has awful quality photos, only makes posts complaining, etc – subs will not associate you with class and elegance which is ultimately what I believe most Goddesses strive for.

This leads me to another thing, if all you do is post negatively, people will have a negative perception of you and will run for the hills if you approach them. Avoid posting about timewasters or sob stories etc – subs HATE it and so do most experienced Dommes. It stands out like a sore thumb to most experienced subs and they will steer very clear of anyone complaining.

How can I market myself?
Marketing is an extremely important factor in getting noticed in this world. There are thousands of Dommes both experienced and novice all striving for the same thing and in a niche where money is the key factor, the industry is absolutely cutthroat. When I joined the scene, I refused to get a twitter for two years and boy was that a mistake. Twitter is one of the best free marketing tools a Domme can use. Well executed tweets about both your kink AND vanilla life can reel subs in and get you loyal followers and lots of money. Hashtags are good to use in tweets but don’t overdo them – also, don’t forget to use hashtags directly in your tweet instead of after your main sentence. Everyone has their own definition of a good tweet but I’ll include an example of what I consider a good and bad ”marketing” tweet below:
Good tweet:
good tweet

Bad Tweet:
bad tweet

The difference in the quality of those tweets is quite noticeable (and yes the second one was tweeted only for the purpose of screenshotting lol). You have to set yourself and everything you do to certain standards. If your standards are low quality, that will be the type of subs you attract. Every wonder why the “big names” in the industry always have loyal servants? That’s because they are marketing masterminds and put a lot of time and effort into what they do.

Do subs really care about good photos & graphics?
Short answer – yes for the most part. I know it’s tempting to post a cell phone selfie or a webcam snap quickly and get it over with but a light bit of editing on any photo can really make the difference between low tier and good photo. Always run your photos through a simple editor and fix any lighting problems, graininess, red eye etc. It’s a fairly simple rule to have. Quality over quantity is key. I personally feel that subs will appreciate one good photo with good lighting and a good pose over 10 photos with awful lighting and the same pose slightly altered. Filters are great tools too but don’t overdo them, as with everything, balance is key. Find the balance to create what you think is an awesome quality photo and hold yourself to those standards every time.
As for graphics, I’m aware that there’s plenty of people who don’t know how to use photoshop or can’t afford to pay someone to create graphics. That’s not an excuse – if you want a quality website with quality graphics, instead of bashing the Dommes who have them out of jealousy, LEARN. Teach yourself to create these things and it will truly help you as far as marketing goes.

Can I still appeal to subs without too many photos or graphics?
Yes, ultimately it comes down to your expertise as a Dominant and the attitude you have. The things I’ve stated in the last couple answers to questions are all really filler. Many subs look for those things straight off the bat and if you want to appeal to as many subs as possible, marketing and tons of content is definitely the way to go but you don’t have to have all those things to still be successful. There’s subs who can look past the lack of fancy graphics or loads of content and still see the Goddess for who she is – granted, in all honesty those subs are far fewer among the crowds but they ARE there. It goes without saying that you should STILL have a thorough profile to attract subs, if you only have a paragraph in your about me, you’re only going to attract low quality subs.

How do I come up with content?
How do painters create paintings? How do writers create stories? This is a pretty self explanatory question. You have to come up with content on your own out of your own imagination. Nobody will hold your hand and create your content for you. A good place to start is with the standard industry content ideas ex: foot photos, videos, some findom games, etc. When it comes to tasks, it gets trickier. Creating original tasks is actually a pretty big challenge. Brainstorming is great though. What I do is I have a notepad document open all day 24/7. If I have a sudden idea for a task, game or clip I INSTANTLY write it down and save the document just in case my computer were to crash. At the end of the week I have hundreds (I’m not kidding) of ideas on the notepad document and I choose one or two to carry out and elaborate on for a task or clip etc. From there on, the document only gets larger and larger. That’s the way I do it but everyone has their own creative ideas. Your best bet is to give yourself a weekly goal and stick to it.

I want to mimmick/copy a Domme I look up to.
Stop right there. Stop before you even think about doing it again. If you decide to copy someone chances are they WILL notice. It doesn’t matter if you change a word or two every other sentence. People who put time and care into their sites and profiles probably remember every word they’ve written and will spot a plagiarizer before you even realize they know. Stealing content is a HUGE issue in the scene and I’ve been in the scene long enough to unfortunately say that I’ve witnessed it far too many times. If you decide to steal graphics from someone or plagiarize their hard work it will be seen as a HUGE black mark on your career as a professional if that’s what you’re ultimately going for. Just don’t do it. If you decide you still want to do it, expect DMCA takedowns and public ridicule and know that everyone will agree that you deserve it. Originality is a necessity in this fetish and industry – if it’s something you lack, you are probably better suited doing something else with your time.

An owned sub messaged me, what do I do?
Ignore them. It doesn’t matter if they are offering you over $9000! Just ignore the sub and be respectful to what is someone else’s property. If the sub is slutting around, that’s entirely on him – don’t enable him. Something I personally do is message the owner if I know who she is. Respectfully let the owner know what is going on because they deserve to know that their sub is not being respectful to them. Screenshots and a respectful message letting the Domme know go a long way and will show the Domme that you are trustworthy and have excellent integrity.

Why do all my subs fail me?
The answer to this can be many things – some of which can be YOUR fault. Are you instantly collaring subs who want to be owned? Are you even putting them through a consideration period? Consideration periods vary by Domme to Domme but I find that just as it would be in an intimate relationship, time itself ultimately shows you who you are dealing with. You can’t figure out who someone truly is by having them send you a $100 giftcard every week for 4 weeks. The consideration period is EXTREMELY important for anyone wanting to have a long term D/s relationship and by standard practice, subs can be in a consideration period from anywhere from 6 months to YEARS. The best analogy I can think of is of a romantic relationship – think of the consideration period as the time you’re dating the person before you both agree that it’s time to get married. That’s how I think of it and it works very well for me.If you’re properly going through the consideration/collaring process and your subs are still failing you, maybe you have unrealistic expectations of them. If a sub made it through consideration, he obviously is a good sub and up to your standards but if he’s failing you after collaring, perhaps you’re being too hard on him which is VERY easy to do in this fetish. Greed is good for the most part but you have to remember that feeding your greed comes at a big expense to your subs wallet and unless your sub is the owner of a fortune 500 company and making millions left and right, you’re probably being TOO greedy. Set out a budget for your sub, micromanage. Set schedules, for payments, for tasks and remember that not EVERYTHING is about money in your D/s relationship and if it is, it probably won’t last.

I see Dommes publicly calling subs losers/worthless, why doesn’t it work when I do it?
That’s probably because they know or own the sub already and it’s something that’s within their dynamic. You have to remember that a lot of things in the industry are smoke and mirrors type things. Maybe the Domme and sub have a mutual understanding to where the sub gets off on public humiliation, likes to be called worthless loser etc but in private it’s completely different. Dommes roleplay with their subs publicly a lot and that’s not a bad thing. Remember if it’s safe sane and consensual there is NO problem with it – just remember that things aren’t always as they seem with people and their public relationships.

Will I look self centered if I post pictures of my tributes?
This fetish is ALL ABOUT self centered hedonists. For fuck’s sake we call ourselves Goddess, Princess, Queen etc. I highly doubt that everyone who calls themselves a Goddess is living up in the sky with omnipotent & omniscient powers. I highly doubt every princess or queen in the scene actually lives in a castle and rules their own kingdom. :p There’s nothing wrong in gloating and showing off the fruits of you and your sub’s effort. Anyone who says otherwise is probably unhappy with the fruits of their efforts and looking to shoot you down. People that are comfortable with themselves and what they do will be happy that other Dommes are being successful and in my personal opinion and experience, subs love to see their gifts posted and they love it even more if you remember who gifted you what. Just remember to do you.

How can I take quality photos/videos?
There’s a formula to good photos and videos that consists of various things.
Lighting is key, bad lighting can make an otherwise great photo AWFUL. If you can, buying a studio lighting kit on amazon is definitely recommended and they’re usually pretty cheap and yield great results. I’ve seen full professional lighting kits on there as low as $80 which I think is pretty within budget for most people. If you’re on a budget, maybe skip the mani/pedi one week and just buy the lighting kit instead.

Setting is another thing that can completely make or break a good photo or video. Nobody wants to see a photo of you looking beautiful but a dirty mattress without sheets in the background or a complete mess with clothes and trash on the floor etc. I think most of us have been guilty of something that can fit in this category at some point or another, I’m no stranger to this myself. I’ve taken many a photo with my laundry in the background in the past etc. It’s fairly simple, shoot your photos against a professional backdrop set (usually not more than $200 on amazon), against a plain wall, or get a shoji screen panel divider (usually around $150) – trust me it will help the quality of your photo/video settings immensely.

As far as cameras go, most smartphones nowadays have GREAT quality settings. I have the samsung galaxy note 3 and the photos & videos are extremely HD and super good quality. You don’t need to own a fancy camera to yield great results if you have good lighting and background. That being said, in my opinion one should always strive for the best quality they can and if your subs can afford it, I recommend you have them buy you a professional camera. I recently got a Canon t3i with the standard 55 mm lens and was extremely pleased. I also received an additional EF 50mm f/1.8 II lens ($125) which creates depth and awesome focus in videos/photos which I highly recommend to anyone looking for a good lens. It’s a little pricey but definitely worth it.

Is networking & making friends really that important?
100% yes if you plan on ever attempting conventions, doing interviews, being included in projects. In this scene as far as networking goes, you have to give some to take some. Making friends and networking might open certain doors that otherwise may stay firmly shut. This goes for both networking with Dommes AND subs. For example, there’s a few owned subs that have tributed me before they even met their Domme and we decided to remain friends once they were put under consideration/collared. They speak of our friendship to their Domme which in turn, opens doors to someday filming with their Dommes which will appeal to those looking for double Domme experiences and benefit both of us. The possibilities are quite literally endless

How can I network/make friends?
There’s plenty of ways to make friends in the scene people are for the most part very friendly and open to talking. Joining forums and groups and actively participating in them is a great start. Twitter is another great way to make friends. Follow the people who follow you back, reply to people’s tweets. Be active in findom chats a few time a week and you’ll make friends in no time.

That’s all for now but I hope this will help some of the newer Dommes and I’ll be pinning this to the Domme help page on my website! Remember to follow me on twitter @JezebelSinclair.

Jezebel Sinclair is a sadistic Arizona based Latina ProDomme, Femdom film producer, kink connoisseur & wild deviant. A legendary fetish model building an auspicious Femdom empire one slave at a time

Lady D Royal

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Photographer: Vice Erotica Model: Lady D Royal

LadyD_016

Lady D Royal is all latex and claws. Imagine being on the receiving end of her cane, flogger or under the sole of her high heel. She knows exactly what bad boys and girls need.

Lady D is professional Dominatrix in Los Angeles. She says, “I have a rich set of experiences that make Me unique as a person and Dominatrix. I was raised all over the world, and I am multi-lingual and an avid traveler. Being open and accepting of others is something I learned early and deeply. Working as a writer, producer, and manager in the television industry for many years has taught me how to bring powerful fantasies to life. I am living My own fantasies now by being out and open as a Professional Dominatrix.” You can learn more about her here.