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This week in kink: December 14, 2020

December 12, 2020 By Desdemona 2 Comments

So many folks have had their worlds turned upside down due to the pandemic. This has left many feeling like nothing is in their control and hopeless.

Because of this, Tracey Anne Duncan writes about how BDSM can help us gain back a sense of control during these trying times.

Click below to read more!

https://www.mic.com/p/could-bdsm-be-the-antidote-to-our-pandemic-fueled-loss-of-control-47460733

Kink and BDSM, for many, are so much more than something sexy to do!

There have been a lot of mental and emotional benefits experienced by those that are in the lifestyle.

BDSM can help reduce anxiety, chronic pain, improve mood, and so much more!

Click below to read more about this from Refinery29!


More often than not, submission and feminism are not thought to go hand in hand.

We here at KinkWeekly feel it’s important to talk about these topics and explore all sides of how they might go together and might oppose each other.

Everything is about the grey after all!

Click below to explore these intriguing topics further with Feminism in India!

Kinky Promise: Does My Sexual Submission Make Me A Bad Feminist?

Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm community, bdsm play, bdsm scene, coronavirus, feminism, fetish, kink, Kink Community, mental health, pandemic, quarantine, submission

Keeping Our Community Saf-er During the Pandemic

December 5, 2020 By Christmas Bunny 3 Comments

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via stock.adobe.com

These are unprecedented times indeed. Regardless of where people stand in regards to the pandemic itself, one thing we should be able to agree on is the impact it is having on our kink communities. Individuals are struggling with finances, and dungeons who rent or own space are likely struggling to maintain the financial commitment for these spaces without large events funding them.

I have been peripherally involved with some local efforts to create safer ways to restart events, though most of the credit for the hard work of researching and implementing has to go to the local dungeon owner here. The strategies we’ve adopted here may be helpful to others who are looking for ways to kink outside of their homes in safer ways, or who are struggling to maintain their spaces.

Handle Immediate Financial Need

Our first step was mid-May/June when we realized this was going to seriously impact whether or not our dungeon would still be in existence when all of this does finally resume some semblance of normality. We opened a Go Fund Me and dropped the link in our local community space. It was truly humbling to to watch people respond with an outpouring of support in the midst of feeling powerless. Every single donation was appreciated and we raised enough to maintain the rental space through the end of 2020 in that opening drive.

Some of that money went to upgrading the space in ways to make it safer, such as hand sanitizer units, a digital thermometer, a heavy duty sprayer to clean with, and a plexiglass shield for the check-in area. The rest went to keeping the rent current until virus urgency level started to recede in our region. Plans began being made for what we affectionately refer to as LAT parties, or limited attendance and time.

Once we felt safe enough, we rolled out the plan and gave community members opportunities to discuss and make suggestions before any implementation. The owner consulted local experts in the medical field and in engineering and sanitization at every step. He has made transparency his goal, from the way the money is spent, to what all of his procedures are. That transparency has helped people feel safer attending events, since it means they know exactly what to expect.

Opening the Dungeon Again

For indoor events, such as any rope classes or dungeon events there is a clear procedure. Tickets are purchased in advance through Square, which allows an individual to keep their anonymity and credit card information safe, but allows for a comment to be dropped with the user’s scene name so the dungeon knows who will be attending. Attendance is limited to ten individuals, since that was the recommendation as of the time of planning. Any new attendees are sent the membership form and covid waiver that discusses the recommendations for how to handle contact tracing in the event of any incidents (don’t mention fight club, if it is necessary, please contact dungeon owner and he can let others know they need to go for testing). Leading to the door, waiting spots are marked six feet apart. People can peek in the window to see if the prior group is clear of the entryway before entering. Masks are absolutely required while people area present in the building.

Upon entering, guests have a touchless hand sanitizer unit immediately to their right, and are expected to use it prior to moving into the space. They are then greeted and announce their name for verification on the list and to confirm they returned their forms. Stepping forward, the person manning the plexiglass enclosure can remain behind it while reaching around to digitally check the temperatures of each attendee. The CDC states that a reading of 100.4 constitutes a fever, so anyone with a reading there or above is asked to leave (though that has not happened to date). Attendees are then expected to leave the entryway and go down the hallway to the dungeon area.

The dungeon area has been modified from its pre-covid layout. The setup was workable before to allow for whip space between furniture, but has been adjusted to take half of the furniture temporarily out of commission. Those pieces have been turned around or otherwise adjusted so that it clear they are not for use. With a maximum of five couples having scenes at one time, there are a few more pieces available than people, which allow for some equipment choices.

Individuals are permitted to allot their time however they please. They can watch others scenes, they can socialize, or they can choose to indulge in their own scenes. As their time slot nears to a close, a ten minute warning is announced to allow people to wrap up scenes and pack their gear. Once everyone is out, the owner dons protective gear and thoroughly disinfects the entire space with a spray that should not be touched or inhaled, and then clears out for a minimum of twenty minutes, as recommended for usage of that chemical. The sessions are scheduled in two hour blocks with a thirty minute window for cleaning between them.

Because people have freedom to purchase tickets, but they are limited to 10 available ones, a group looking to make sure they are only sharing space with one anther can purchase the entire block of ten when dates and times are released and basically have a private event. For those with immunocompromised partners, that option can be sanity-saving.

Restarting Vendor Events

Because vendor events typically have more of a revolving door type atmosphere, we struggled some with finding the right balance of safety in order to comfortably begin holding those again. For vendors of kink gear and implements, some of them are truly hurting right now after ten months of few to no options when it comes to in-person events. Often, those in-person events tend to be hugely important for clientele, particularly newer community members who may not know what to expect in regards to appearance or quality of offerings. Being able to see and touch items is a vital part of their education, and a piece that has been noticeably absent this year.

We decided to hold our events outdoors, and to require masks. We release an informational document with safety info at the time of advertising these events. We are clear that face shields may not be used as a substitute for masks, due to the most recent research available. Additionally, we hold it in the dungeon’s gated lot so we can limit attendance to two individuals per vendor, and do thermometer checks. We have a security person and someone handling an outdoor handwashing station, stocked by a local soapmaker. Additionally, each vendor has a bottle of hand sanitizer on their table and requires people to use it prior to making contact with any merchandise.

Vendors occupy parking spaces to make things simple. Ones with larger vehicles (vans mostly) park next to the gate to block the view of anyone walking past. They set up tables in the parking spot directly next to their vehicle and are able to space it as they like. Some bring canopies. By alternating car – vendor – car – vendor, we are able to space vendors out nine feet plus add a blockade of the vendor’s car. Vendors remain masked for the duration of the event. One person or germ group may shop a given vendor at a time. A second may wait six feet distant until that group has finished. Additional interested shoppers must browse elsewhere or wait outside of the gate, physically distanced. We encourage anyone who wants to crack a whip to briefly step inside, but other than that and brief bathroom visits, the event is able to operate fully outdoors.

Our first event went well. We didn’t have a high number of attendees, but the ones who came clearly had full intention to purchase from our local people. All the vendors felt satisfied that they were safe and also able to accommodate shoppers. Vending fees are minimal and go directly to the dungeon to help make sure it continues to operate as we move forward.

Neither event is perfect. They don’t have huge attendance. Some people are unwilling to use masks during play and choose not to attend the dungeon events. Some are unwilling to wear them outdoors and choose not to attend the vendor events. Others feel both events are still beyond their risk profile and also choose not to attend. We support their choices either way, but have to move forward in ways that provide the highest level of comfort and safety to the highest percentage of our kink community’s population. As things change, we are doing our best to change with them.

Do you have any additional safety measures your community is taking? Feel free to let us know in the comments.


Christmas bunny has been exploring kink since she was legal to do so.  Her serious writing started in college, where she accidently got some of her papers published in educational journals.  She has recently expanded her writing to include her kink journey.  She began writing in the physical realm, but shed some of her inhibitions and began sharing those entries with others.  She now keeps an active blog of her personal growth and her relationship with her Master / Daddy Dominant and writes helpful educational posts on a variety of subjects.

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm safety, dungeon safety, fetish, kink, pandemic, safety consent, sexual safety

This week in kink: December 7, 2020

December 5, 2020 By Desdemona 2 Comments

Meet professor and Dominatrix Mistress Snow!

Don’t miss her share her story of balancing BDSM and education life.

Click below to find out more from the Daily Beast!

https://www.thedailybeast.com/meet-the-college-professor-who-moonlights-as-a-dominatrix


Many folks are bored, frustrated, and depressed during lockdown.

Because of this, many of us have turned to new outlets and hobbies.

Some have even turned to BDSM!

Click below to find out how virtual BDSM has helped people stay sane during the pandemic from MamaMia!


Into films that push the envelope?

Then, check out these revolutionary, perverted, British films!

They will not dissapoint!

Click below to read more from Screen Rant!


Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, corona, cybersex, dominatrix, fetish, film, kink, pandemic, power exchange, sex, virtual bdsm

This week in kink news: September 14, 2020

September 12, 2020 By Desdemona 2 Comments

A lot of universities are throwing events through the Let’s Talk About Sex series to de-stigmatize sexuality, BDSM, LGBTQIA topics, and so much more!

In our opinion this is a great thing for students to be exposed to.

NUS’s rope bondage event was recently cancelled that was put on by this series due to claims saying that the event “promoted violent sexual fantasies.”

Click below to learn more!

https://www.tnp.sg/news/singapore/nus-groups-rope-bondage-event-cancelled-after-backlash

New California bill states that an individual doesn’t have to be labeled a sex offender if the age gap is less than ten years between offendee and offender.

The bill does not legalize sex with minors, but rather gives judges the ability to evaluate whether or not an individual be charged as a sex offender.

Click below to read more!


Victoria Rage, a Seattle-based Dominatrix, talks about her recent request due to the pandemic.

Click below to learn more about peoples’s creative fantasies during these times!


Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Tagged With: bdsm, bdsm play, consent, dominatrix, fetish, kink, pandemic, power exchange, rope bondage, sex, sex offender, sexual fantasies, shibari

This week in kink: August 31, 2020

August 30, 2020 By Desdemona 2 Comments

We have all had to adjust during the pandemic including dungeons and clubs.

Below Liverpool Echo explains how Townhouse Swingers, a swingers’ club in Birkenhead, has adjusted their protocols to fit with the current times.


Society is becoming more and more digital as the quaratine goes on.

Check out KinkVR and see if it’s right for you on your kink journey. Click below to learn all about the pros, cons, and cost from the daily dot!

KinkVR puts you inside your dirtiest BDSM fantasies

Consent is everything when it comes to human interaction.

With this being said, the new Domestic Abuse Bill passed in the UK states that “consent can never justify grievous or actual bodily harm, even if it was perpetrated for the purposes of sexual gratification.”

Since some BDSM involves consensual instances of the above, this bill has some members of the BDSM Community experiencing negative reactions/concerns regarding the bill.

Click below to read more from Vice!

https://www.vice.com/en_uk/article/xg87v3/the-bdsm-community-is-worried-about-changes-to-the-domestic-abuse-bill

Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Tagged With: bdsm, consent, dominatrix, dungeon, fetish, kink, negotiation, pandemic, polyamory, porn, sex, swingers

This week in kink: August 24, 2020

August 23, 2020 By Desdemona 2 Comments

Are you a swinger? Exhibitionist? Nudist? Practice any form of ethical non-monogamy?

Then you might be interested in learning more about the amazing lifestyle resort, Hedonism II, and it’s new protocols for the pandemic!

Click below to read what CNN has to say about this unique vacay!


Check out this fascinating article by Time Out Sydney on The Kastle, Sydney’s last full service BDSM dungeon.

Mistress Scarlett (the dungeon’s owner) and Mistress Lucilla explain the ins and outs of this unique space and the dungeon’s mission- bringing fantasies to life in a safe, sane, and consensual manner.

Check it out now!

https://www.timeout.com/sydney/sex-and-dating/step-inside-sydneys-last-surviving-bdsm-dungeon-and-meet-the-mistresses-who-reign-it

Victoria Rage, a Seattle-based Dominatrix, gives some insight on how she has adapted her work to fit the current state of world.

She then goes on to give sex workers helpful advice on how to grow their business during these trying times.

This article is great for veterans and novices alike. We must be flexible and roll with the punches during this uncertain period.

Thanks for the advice Ms. Rage!

https://www.businessinsider.com.au/bdsm-works-covid-19-era-but-dont-jump-right-dominatrix-2020-8https://www.businessinsider.com.au/bdsm-works-covid-19-era-but-dont-jump-right-dominatrix-2020-8


Musings of subspace-land pic.twitter.com/8dl15rGvjt

— BDSMeme (@bdsmMeme) August 27, 2020

Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Tagged With: bdsm play, coronavirus, dominatrix, dungeon, ethical non-monogamy, exhibitionism, fetish, pandemic, polyamory, sex workers, swingers

This week in kink: August 3, 2020

August 3, 2020 By Desdemona 3 Comments

The COVID-19 pandemic has affected everyone – especially the ways we connect, date, plan things, and meet new folks.

If you’re poly/in an open relationship I am sure you have felt a big impact since Covid-19 arrived.

This article in the South Seattle Emerald spotlights several people in non-monogamous relationships, and how their multiple relationship have been impacted amid the pandemic.

Navigating Consensual Non-Monogamy During COVID-19

This article in The Observer of Uganda speculates about the presence of BDSM in Africa. And, based on the content, is little more than an uninformed rant about BDSM by someone clueless about what BDSM actually is.

“I am tempted to ‘diagnose’ a couple in my neighbourhood as BDSM enthusiasts, because the surrounding community knows when they have sex. It always starts with a huge fight in the dead of night, which has the village dogs barking in agitation”

This quote from The Observer of Uganda tells us a lot about how woefully off-the-mark and dangerous it can be when those who know nothing of actual BDSM attempt to shape public opinion about it.

I have no doubt that domestic violence is a problem in Uganda, as it is in many other countries. But let’s please stop trying to link that to consensual BDSM, which is the polar opposite of abuse.

Check it out if you want to have a head shake, a sad laugh, or just to remember that outside the bubble of sex-positive people, there are still many out there that do not understand that there is a clear difference between abuse and BDSM.


UK sex party company Killing Kittens has received investment from the UK government through the Future Fund – a program to help companies that have been affected by Coronavirus.

The company apparently plans to use the funds towards expanding its online offerings, including a BDSM and sex-oriented social network. Watch out Fetlife?

Check out the article on CNN business.


Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Tagged With: bdsm, coronavirus, domestic violence, ethical non-monogamy, open, pandemic, poly, sex, sex parties

The impact of COVID on Pro Dommes

July 9, 2020 By kinkweekly 10 Comments

Los Angeles Dominatrix Isabella Sinclaire

The coronavirus pandemic has wreaked havoc through every corner of society this year.  One business that has received little attention amidst the storm has been that of Pro Dommes.  A professional dominatrix is a woman (the occupation is overwhelmingly majority female) who is paid by clients to dominate them.  And by dominate, this can of course include any number of a vast range of specific activities under the umbrella of BDSM – such as bondage, whipping, sensation play and so on.  This is a perfectly legal business model in most Western societies – aided by the fact that actual sex (and sexual touching) is typically off the menu with professional Dommes.

With businesses across much of America doing their best to avoid contact between people, the business of domination faces unique challenges.  Unlike ordering dinner, or attending a meeting, the experience of a BDSM scene (for both top and bottom), and the brain and body high that it can evoke, are intertwined with the connection and chemistry between the participants.  And that’s before you even consider the physical touching and proximity inherent in so many BDSM activities (spanking, scratching, foot worshiping to name just a few).

As with most other businesses that involve in-person contact, Pro Dommes’ businesses have been largely shuttered since March.

Most of the pro-Dommes that I coach abruptly stopped their in person sessions, and many were scrambling to move their business to distance domination formats because they had relied primarily on in person sessions before the lockdowns.

-Simone Justice (SimoneJustice.com)

The sentiment was echoed by Princess Marx, a Boston & LA-based Domme:

I stopped in-person sessions immediately when the California lockdown went into place in mid-March. I don’t fuck with deadly viruses.

-Princess Marx (PrincessMarx.ch)

And where various levels of government have been offering assistance to businesses to keep them afloat during these unprecedented times, the nature of the business makes it difficult for Pro Dommes to access any of this aid.

Renowned Dominatrix Isabella Sinclaire says,

These forms of government assistance were not designed for very small businesses of one employee.  So I have had to downsize.

-Isabella Sinclaire (IsabellaSinclaire.com)

With leases on two properties – The Ivy Manor, a private dungeon rented for sessions by other pro-dommes, and Demask DTLA, a latex clothing store – the current times are particularly trying.

I closed my Demask DTLA latex clothing store to mitigate the monthly expenses as Landlords were also not willing to negotiate a decrease in rent or offer free rent and we are going into our 4th month of no income.  I have two business rents.  The store and my studio which cost $5000 a month in rents combined.  Moving into July, that’s $20,000 of rent due with no income.  It is an impossible scenario for a small business but I’m trying.

-Isabella Sinclaire (IsabellaSinclaire.com)

Of the Dommes we spoke with only Lady Sophia, a Chicago-based Dominatrix, had been able to benefit from one of the government assistance programs. She was granted Disaster Assistance loan from the federal Small Business Administration, which is separate from the more widely known Paycheck Protection Program.

I have to tell you, when the funds showed up in my bank account I almost didn’t believe it was real. It’s important to note that the Disaster Assistance relief loan that I received is a loan. This is money that still needs to be paid back. The good news is that the interests rate is very low and the monthly payments are also very reasonable.

-Lady Sophia (LadySophia.com)

For many Dommes who aren’t tied to property leases, their businesses have shifted exclusively online while the pandemic rages.

“Online sessions have been a big part of what I do for a few years now, but I don’t think even I fully realized how big of a part. I feel very lucky that I had things set up like this before the quarantine – if I hadn’t, My life would look very, very different.” says Princess Marx.

Pro-Domme and Educator Justine Cross
Pro-Domme and Educator Justine Cross

Justine Cross, LA Domme and owner of private venues Dungeon East and Dungeon West, similarly commented,

Luckily for me, I was able to pivot my real time with clients into online sessions.  It was a lot of work, but I felt like it was the safest and best option. Not only have I adapted, I also created a class for others to convert their real time clientele to online. Meanwhile, Dungeon East and Dungeon West remain very much open for private rentals – things are very much thriving despite the pandemic.

-Justine Cross (LosAngelesBDSMevents.com)

For some Dommes, the move to online has been so positive that they plan to make it permanent.  Dominatrix Lila Sage said:

In the comfort of their own home, people feel more at ease and able to drop into deeper states of relaxation and submission. Since my work as an Inspiratrice and Hypnotist is focused on creating sensations in the body through the mind, I can take people on fantastic journeys through imagery and their senses. I am finding new depths with clients online that they have never experienced before.

-Lila Sage (MissLilaSage.com)

For other Dommes and their clients however, online sessions are a temporary measure and no substitute for the real thing.

Isabella Sinclaire summed up this perspective:

“Everyone that works beside me has moved to online platforms and online networking.  But the enjoyment and income will never compare to the in person experiences.”

-Isabella Sinclaire (IsabellaSinclaire.com)

Looking ahead, there will eventually come a time when the virus has subsided enough for people to resume their usual activities – exactly when and how will be a personal choice for each individual. 

Princess Marx beautiful Los Angeles Dominatrix
Boston & Los Angeles Domme Princess Marx

Princess Marx had been preparing a plan for reopening prior California’s new surge of COVID cases.  “Well, I thought I was all set to re-open (with lots of safety precautions in place), and then California’s case count started going up!”

I developed a 3-step screening protocol for re-opening (in addition to My usual screening protocol): 1) a phone session to get to know each other, 2) testing done within 3 days of our session, and 3) an optional tele-health screening, offered by a medical professional friend of Mine.

In addition, I had 3 new rules for play: 1) a temperature check at the door, 2) both parties required to wear masks, and 3) no direct-contact foot kissing/worship (though boot or shoe worship might have been okay)

Might it adversely affect the session experience? Sure. Wouldn’t it be nice to be face to face and getting My feet worshipped? Absolutely. But am I willing to stake My life on seeing a submissive’s face? Absolutely fucking not.

-Princess Marx (PrincessMarx.ch)

Do you work in the world of kink or sex, and interested in being quoted for future articles?  Or do you have a story about how COVID has impacted the world of kink in some way? Email us at kinkweekly@gmail.com.

Tagged With: coronavirus, COVID, dominatrix, Isabella Sinclaire, Justine Cross, Lady Sophia, Lila Sage, pandemic, princess marx, pro Domme, Simone Justice

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