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Why Men Love To Watch Women Masturbate
Why Men Love to Watch Women Masturbate
When in the mood for love, men are believed to focus on themselves. However, there are those – and they are not few in number – who care about things beyond getting into your pants immediately. There are all kinds of men. Some love to watch women touch themselves, others feel unessential and even unwanted when they do it. These men tend to be insecure. They feel an overwhelming burden of responsibility to be the only source of the woman’s pleasure and feel like failures if and when they aren’t.
Of those that like watching, the reasons for their interest are more complex than you might think.
1. An affirmation of you as a sexual being
To some men, the fact that women are sexual beings with sexual desires not unlike theirs comes as a nice surprise. If your partner tells you he wants to watch you masturbate, it’s very sex positive. Letting him watch you explore your needs and bring yourself to orgasm can be incredibly arousing for both of you. It’s hard to argue against the positivity of it all.
2. It’s Educational
Most women come by fingering themselves and many men don’t know that. Porn doesn’t help either. Men can learn new and exciting ways to touch you by watching you play with yourself. Your partner should be someone that cares about your pleasure. He should learn how to push you over the edge into orgasm or how to achieve it more quickly and he can do that by watching you.
3. It’s really arousing
Men are highly visual and watching women masturbate can be a great form of foreplay for them. Having a real living and breathing woman naked in front of you, moaning and orgasming, is much better than porn. Men are very aroused when they watch you pleasuring yourself.
4. It’s Still Taboo
Believe it, in some parts of the world at least, women masturbating is still seen as taboo. We’re turned on by naughty things. When you have a man watch, you’re asking him to take part apart from doing something taboo.
5. It’s as Intimate as it Gets
When you invite him to watch you, masturbation becomes a form of communication. You’re showing him that’s something you enjoy, you’re trusting him, and you’re willing to feel vulnerable just to share it with him.
On Watching and Voyeurism
There are some men who are absolutely crazy about watching women masturbate. They’re called voyeurs. Voyeurism is where you experience arousal by watching people engaging in sexual activities or naked people. Usually, the biggest pleasure comes from watching others, because we get most of our sensory information from the eyes. In addition, voyeurs are turned on by listening to other people’s sexual experiences or hearing people in the act.
Voyeurism is an extremely common fetish and nothing to be ashamed of in most cases. Almost everyone in the world watches porn and one could argue that pleasure is voyeuristic in nature.
Why is It a Fetish?
Different people are turned on by different things, so it really depends on what you like and want to do. Voyeurism is an unconventional way of experiencing sex. You’re seeing what gives someone pleasure, the position, when they moan the loudest, when and how they orgasm.
When is Voyeurism not OK?
It’s not ok if the person doesn’t know you’re watching them, obviously. It’s also not acceptable when the person has made it clear she doesn’t want to be watched. You shouldn’t insist if that’s the case.
Myths and Misconceptions Surrounding Female Masturbation
Quite a few myths surround this pleasurable pastime. We present some of the most common ones. We’ll start with misconceptions surrounding sex toys.
Some men think we keep the toys we use to masturbate in something like a treasure chest. That we pick them with painstaking care. In most cases, they’re propped up against the window, and we tend to have a current favorite, so we don’t do much choosing. What they don’t suspect is that the girl’s toy of choice might be quite unusual, like a double ended dildo. Some heterosexual couples use them together. Want to know more? Check out the double ended ones from this website.
Then, guys think girls do something to get “in the mood.” They listen to sexy music first or engage in another kind of preparation. In fact, men and women are very similar in this. It’s something you just do if you have a few extra minutes.
Finally, guys think girls take all of their clothes off to masturbate. Again, we are more like guys than they imagine.
How to Make It as Good as Possible
Finally, a tip from us: if you’re going to masturbate in front of your partner, don’t be afraid to moan and show them just how much you’re loving it. Touch your nipples, stroke your breasts, and tell him not to touch you or himself until you’ve come. He could penetrate you as soon as you have.
What Is Aftercare?
As more and more new people join the Kink Community on the edges and middle of the pandemic, the more I realize how little knowledge some are stepping into this world with. I recently wrote about pain processing in kink. Today, I want to briefly discuss the aftermath of a scene.
When we say the word scene, generally we are talking about an agreed-upon period of time between two or more people, wherein they perform some negotiated kink experience. It may be impact, it may be needles, or humiliation, or any one of a number of kinks that people share.
As I discussed in my post on pain, the body of the receiver in this event is likely experiencing some chemical side effects, brought to them courtesy of their brain. Adrenaline and endorphins are a potent cocktail. When the activities we engage in trigger those chemical responses, it can be a heady experience. Often, the person who has experienced them will be slightly euphoric or “spacey” afterwards. Some people refer to “subspace,” but I prefer more scientific explanations of what is happening.
Because that can be a sensation that feels different for different people, some find it disorienting. Others feel “loopy” or giggly. Some will need to come out of that headspace gradually, while others prefer a more abrupt return to reality. The period of time after the scene has ended is often called aftercare.
Aftercare looks different based on who you ask. Some people want a blanket and cuddles, some want a stuffie and chocolate. I want a high five and to be told I was a good girl. Some take an hour to gradually ease out of that headspace, others want to giggle away in a group of friends. In some cases, people may prefer that aftercare be administered by someone they didn’t scene with, such as a friend or relationship partner. It is important to include negotiations for the kind of aftercare you need when you are discussing a scene with a potential partner.
If you don’t know what you need for aftercare because you are newer to this, it may be a part of your journey which requires experimentation. Ask yourself following a scene what would bring you comfort. Prepare for many scenarios, such as bringing a favorite comfortable item of clothing to change into, an emotional attachment object, a protein bar, or a sugary snack you enjoy in order to give yourself options when the time comes.
If you are a more experienced kinkster and know that you’ll be having a scene with less experienced players, perhaps consider packing an emergency aftercare bag with some basics in it, in case it is something they aren’t familiar with, or don’t know yet what they need. It isn’t a terrible idea to have things on hand that help others. That’s part of why I always carry a mini first aid kit with me to the dungeon, despite it having three available. My band-aids are cuter.
Please remember, even though there are tops who will hand you off to someone else for aftercare because it isn’t their thing, the important part is finding healthy ways to transition yourself back to life as the chemicals leave the body – and keep these things in mind for the possible drop following after the chemicals break down even further. What you need is what you need during this process.
Knowledge is power, and by understanding what we need on our kink journeys, we give ourselves an amazing gift.
How “Total” Power Exchange Is Manifested
There’s been a lot of yammering about the “total” part of total power exchange, and a lot of “whatabout” ism as people try to prove that total isn’t total at all.
People seem to think that the “total” in TPE means the dom is making every single decision every single minute of the day, and those decisions are all about the extremes of life and death matters. They seem to think decisions made must be to the detriment of the sub/slave half of the dynamic.
What they fail to see is that it also means the sub/slave is doing what the dom wants without having to constantly ask for a decision or be threatened with punishment. TPE requires obedience on the part of the sub/slave. If the sub/slave won’t obey, there is no power exchange. Disobedience/noncompliance is keeping control. Obedience/compliance gives control.
The dom/master/owner gives the rules and the sub/slave/property obeys them. That’s the power. It’s not about the teeniest little thing being dictated. It’s about doing things how the dom wants them to be without pitching a bitch about it every single time. It’s knowing “this” is what they want…and fulfilling their wishes.
You know he doesn’t like rye bread. So you don’t make his lunch with rye bread. Do you have to be told a thousand times that he doesn’t like rye bread? No. He told you once and you remember. You can buy it for yourself if you want, unless he decrees he doesn’t want it in the house. If he doesn’t want it in the house, don’t fucking buy it.
THAT is the T in TPE.
EW decided once that I was not to address anyone by any title. His decision was final. I abided by that decision regardless who didn’t like it. When there came a time that someone had earned my respect (Lon_RM, who I have come to regard as the father I wish I’d had) that I wanted to use the title in his name (MasterLon, at that point), I went to EW and explained. He agreed and the exception was made. The rule was NOT changed for anyone else.
It was EW’s decision to make the exception. There was another time when I had asked for an exception and he’d said no. I abided by that decision, whether I liked it or not. That is total power.
I asked EW to flog me long enough that I naturally fell asleep. He refused. I had to abide by that decision, because he would never relent and I was not to ask again. I had nothing to say about his decision. I was not given the luxury of an opinion on the matter. That is total power.
There was a night he’d forgotten his keys. He was already in Manhattan and did not have the time to travel half an hour back home and half an hour into work again. I had a full plate of food in front of me. A delicious corned beef supper. I had to put that supper in the fridge, get my shoes on, and take him his keys. There was no option for me to say “after I eat”. It had to be now because Master needed it NOW. There wasn’t a single second of complaint about it from me. This was my job as his sub: To do as he required. Period. He had that total power to command. An hour and a half later (because waiting for trains and walking blocks through neighborhood), I was back home and finally able to eat my supper at 9 o’clock at night.
Having “total” power also means having discretion over when to exert their will and when not to.
He knew he could insert his own ideas into my books. He could use that power if he wanted. He chose never to tell me what to write or how. He felt it would not be appropriate. That is discretion.
He could have told me what kinds of leather goods to make. He could have told me never to use skulls or upside down crosses if he wanted. He chose never to tell me what to make or how to make it. That is discretion. He did, however, greatly enjoy prototype day, and some of my innovations. He particularly liked the 3-sided, meatier handles.
He could have bent me over and fucked me during the most painful days of my period if he wanted. He chose mercy, and would sometimes jerk off onto my tits instead. All I had to do was kneel or sit there and hold my tits up. He chose not to cause me more pain and discomfort. He chose discretion.
There was a time we discussed a piercing or tattoo to mark me as his. Then he worked a season with the Freak Show from Coney Island hanging in Blood Manor. He came home one morning and declared that he would never get me pierced or tattooed. Ever. Didn’t matter if I wanted the piercing or tattoo. He had decided, and the matter was at his discretion in the first place. When the time came that I wanted a simple tattoo as research for a book, he allowed it because it was for my own reasons and not something marking me as his. When I asked, months later, if I could get it finished, he said no. I did not sneak out behind his back to get the tattoo finished. Because total power exchange.
He chose to allow me to learn to top others. He could have put a stop to it at any time. In the last couple years of our relationship, he let me go to spanking parties and receive. But there were rules for both. I could not touch the genitals of anyone. No one could touch my genitals. There was no kissing. No mouths touched me and my mouth touched no one. This was completely within his power to permit or refuse at any time, any party. Even if I was about to walk out the door, he could have told me to stay home and I would have had to obey. Because total…and at his discretion.
I didn’t ever intentionally disobey him on trivial things or for trivial reasons. He knew anything I did that was contrary to what he might have wanted was a “rock/hard place” moment and I made the best decision I could…in good faith.
Not once was his “power” diminished by any of his decisions. He chose when how to use his authority and exert himself…and chose when not. He made what he felt was the correct decision in the moment.
And I didn’t turn every decision into a battle in order to have my way. Pissing and moaning over every decision, undermining every decision or overriding them and doing whatever the fuck I wanted, would have undermined the entire TPE dynamic. It would not have been “total”.
TPE meant he decided and I abided. Period.
TylerRose. is known as Dame Tyler in the NYC public SM/Fetish scene. She is an award-winning author who has written four “lifestyle”, four cartoon, and twenty eight fiction books. She’s been doing this bdsm stuff for 34 years and lived TPE relationships for 31 years.
Read her books on her Amazon page — https://www.amazon.com/TylerRose./e/B00HCPLSP2
You can also find more of her OP/ED work in Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/305828
She enjoys crocheting, diamond painting, and baking, and will no doubt die with a thesaurus open on her thigh.
Erotica: Ladies Choice
The second hand on the clock held its breath waiting for the response. Sally was frozen, waiting. When no instruction came, she genuflected between them. He smiled at Mistress. The smile said so much. Nicely trained, fantastic sub. He stepped back and left the bathroom, giving Mistress room to manage her toy part of the session. Before he could survey the loft, Sally was in the door – leash in hand and holding it out for him.
He took the leash and walked back into the room. He attached the leash to the hooks above the toilet. Sally’s eyes grew large, he reached for the enema bag. He filled it with warm water, lubed the end and motioned for her to assume the position. He lifted the toilet seat allowing, her to sit, coughing her hands to her ankles. Without a word, he grabbed Mistress and forced her to her knees. As Mistress, deep to the back of her throat Sally, watched in silent humiliation.
He curled her hair around his fingers, allowing her to lick and tease his erection. His jeans hung from his hips, and his balls were still tucked away as his cock became engorged from the pleasure she provided with her wanton mouth and tongue. She held his gaze as any thought of Sally slipped from her mind. His words of encouragement and praise fed her desire to satisfy him. He instructed her to take his pants off.
She withdrew from him to maneuver around and remove his pants. Before she could stand, he had a handful of hair in his hands, “Did I tell you to stop sucking my cock, slut!?”
She leaned back to rest on her heels and answer. He laughed at her effort. “I didn’t. You could stop.”
He placed his hands on either side of her head and drew her in until she gagged. He held her there for what seemed like an eternity to Sally. He was enjoying this training, and this captive audience was a different kind of rush. The planning of the next steps added intensity to his hard-on. He flicked his hips forward, jamming his cock down her throat; her wretch and tear were the tipping point. He grabbed his cock and spat his load onto her face. He playfully slapped her face, kissed her forehead, and cooed “good slut” as he walked into the shower.
He beckoned her to the shower. He made no effort to make it easy for her to turn on the shower. Mistress had removed the body stocking. He stood in the middle of the shower, waiting. She pressed herself against the icy cold tiles, her nipples pulled into painfully tight nubs. He held her breast and flicked her nipples as she struggled to turn on the water. His body blocked her as he cajoled her into turning on the water. Training continued as he teased her about failing at her task. His admonishment was playful, meant to frustrate her just enough that she would have to ask permission to set the temperature. She growled and flicked her arms in frustration. He pressed her into the cold tiles, drew his mouth near her ear and growled, “you” do nothing without permission.” Mistress stopped fighting and let his weight hold her until she was chilled on the back and warmed on the front. When she had been still for several minutes, she murmured, “Can I please turn on the shower and help you bathe?”
He stepped back so she could move and turn on the shower. She set the shower to run down his back. She scrubbed him with a loofa and mint soap until his back was pink.
“Am I washing your hair?”
“You want to try that again?”
“Sir, would you like me to wash your hair?”
“slut you may, but don’t get soap in my eyes.”
She gingerly put small amounts of shampoo in his hair, rinsing as she shielded his eyes. He didn’t move or make any effort to make the tease easy for her. Without asking, she turned off the water and passed him a small towel.
“What do you expect me to do with that?” Silently, she began to dry him off.
He left the shower and attended to Sally. She had held the position silently. He released her restraints and the enema bag. He didn’t look at her or reward her obedience. Mistress watched the interaction; her only response was to press her lips together. She wanted this. Now she wanted to see it through. He approached her and asked, “Where are we?”
Mistress looked at Sally. She was humiliated and in need of comfort. He told Mistress to put Sally on the toilet and then set up the four-point restraints on the bed. He went to the kitchen and drank water while he surveyed the room. The pace of this evening was slower than he was happy with, but a whole lot of fun. The St. Andrew’s cross was in a superior position for observing the bed. Without speaking, he motioned for Sally to be strapped in.
Mistress stood at the end of the bed, naked. Her hair was wet from the shower and a little wild. She was a fawn in a meadow and he the wolf. He walked to her and kissed her full on the mouth. His hand wrapped at the base of her neck, lifting her onto her toes as the kiss deepened. He continued to kiss her long after the moans of pleasure rose from her heaving chest. When her legs were shaking from being stretched, his arm slid under her ass, and he lifted her to the bed. Her mouth was swollen and a little bruised already. Her areolas were deep pink. He leaned over her body, not touching her except to trace his nail around the circumference. She lay spread eagle, watching him stalk around the bed, watching her body. He had taken a crop from the table and was using it to lift her breasts. He smacked gently down the length of her torso. He was using the leather tongue to open and stoke her sex as he positioned her body. The tongue of the crop was wet. He dragged it across her lips. He lay the crop across her tits.
“Don’t let it fall, or there will be consequences” he smiled as he tightened the first arm restraint. His mouth began at the inside of her wrist, and he caressed and teased down her side. She tried using slow breaths to not squirm from the tickles his beard created at her side. His mouth traced the soft skin at her hip. The flatness of his tongue stirred an arousal she had not anticipated. He traced and nipped at the area above her pubic bone, tempting but never touching her sex. Her breath was ragged, and she pressed her hips into the bed. He restrained her ankle and continued to use his mouth and hand up to her inner thigh. The heat from his mouth on her inner thigh was too much. Mistress wrapped her unrestrained leg across his back and raised her pussy to him. He let her hold him for the briefest moment. He stopped and stood. He restrained the portion and walked away.
She saw the light of the fridge light up the ceiling. The music washed away any clues as to how he was moving around the room. She could see Sally’s face; it was twisted in frustration. He brought her a drink with a straw. He tempted and teased her until her knees went weak. This time he didn’t withdraw. He flicked her clitoris at lightning speed, telling her not to come until she gushed. He licked her from his fingers. Kissed her and cooed, good girl. He released her from the cross, swaddled her in a large blanket and carried her to the couch with some fruit and ice water.
“Be a good little sub and let me finish your Mistress.”
He crawled on all fours to between her legs, slid his hands under her ass, so his thumb pressed against her ass. With the flat of his tongue, he began to drink her deeply. As she started to rock in pleasure, he slowly massaged her asshole. She was wet and aching for his cock. Once she had cum, he released the restraints, put on a condom, and gentled his pace. He entered her slowly and barely moved. She wrapped herself around him. He sat back and held her close, whispering for her to inhale and exhale until they were synced. He danced her around the bed, varying the pace and intensity until her nails dug in, and she froze for her climax. He waited until she relaxed. She kissed him with gratitude. He returned the kiss and increased the intensity of screwing her. She climaxed again. When she settled, he grabbed an anal vibrator from the side table, lubed it and slid it in. Positioning him from behind, he pounded her relentlessly. He climaxed, smacked her ass, and walked to the bathroom.
When he returned, she was wrapped in a blanket on the sofa next to Sally. He sat down, tossed the TV remote at Mistress and said, “ladies’ choice.”
Video: Can you be submissive and masculine?
Tune into this week’s featured video to disband submissive stereotypes with Evie Lupine!
Submission, Masculinity and Stereotypes [BDSM]
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This week in kink: October 18, 2021
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Erotica: The Negotiation
He finished his beer and suggested they leave the bar. It was crisp out but not cold. Sally-sub starts to mark her territory. As they walked, their footsteps echoed off the cobblestones. Sally stepped in front of her Mistress, knitted her fingers through the long black locks, and kissed her full on the mouth. The explanation of pleasure was audible as the Domme returned her Subs kiss. He watched the two women become lost in their passion; his cock strained against the button fly of his denims. He quietly walked over, removed the Subs fingers, and growled, “not tonight.”
He clamped Sally’s upper arm, forcing the women apart. While Sally fell into line at his side, her Domme was taken aback, and her feet cemented to the ground so mutated, he was caught off gu when he stepped forward.
“Who the fuck! Do you think you are to pull my slut off of me? I can handle her just fine. I do not need you getting up in my business -asshole.” she spat the words. He didn’t miss a beat. He simply maneuvered her with his strength and growled while holding eye contact. He held her gaze and arm until she broke by, turning away as she blinked. Her body language said it all. Her head was facing down, and she looked up through her hair moving forward. If she wanted him to play, she had to submit, now. He wasn’t going to be topped from the bottom. He released her arm, and she walked next to him completely under her power. The terms had been agreed for tonight she would be his sub, she would be his slut; she would find pleasure in the release of obedience. They walked, the conversation moved from how nice and well-kept the area was to what the ice cream shop was doing for a fall promotion. Once they were all conversing freely, in began to lay out his expectations. “Either both of you agree, or we don’t do this. I understand the dynamic of your relationship. When we get to your place, I will grab a shower and give you two a chance to run over what you want together. I expect you to have all the toys and impact implements laid out on the coffee or kitchen table. Make sure you each drink a large glass of water and eat something.” His tone was bright and casual. “From our previous conversation, I know no foot play, but bound in restraints by the ankles is ok. No metal music because it can trigger.”
Sally was dragging her feet and visibly bothered by what he was saying. He walked to a bench along their route and sat at the far end. He gestured for the two women to join him. Sally sat on the other end so that Mistress was in the middle. Mistress raised a finger as he began to speak. He chose to let her take over.
“Sally, you are a very naughty sub tonight. I let the kids go because we have been drinking, and I know you are jealous, but anymore defiance and I will put you in the cage, restrained so you will watch every lick of his tongue, the slap of his hand and bulge of his cock. Do we have a problem?”
No Mistress, Sally bent over and placed her head in her Mistress’s lap. Mistress stroked Sally’s hair.
“Right!” he said, so that is your wish list for tonight. I’d like a few more details of what you’d like.”
Mistress explained that she wanted the release of surrender. She wanted to see her sub used well, but no penetration. Sally could and should be used for oral. She had become a bit too possessive lately and needed to be reminded of how she could be used if Mistress felt it was warranted. They would not require any prep time.
“Lay it out for me. What is your fantasy or version of a night with us three?” He motioned between them, and his hand halted on her thigh. His thumb stroked sub’s hair as he held Domme’s gaze.
“We go back to our place. “She dipped her head towards Sally. “Sally will lay out the session toys. I will direct her. Her task is to watch you seduce and pleasure me in a way she can’t. She has been a bit too possessive lately. A lesson is to be taught. You- are a tool in my arsenal. She is yours to use before you and I. I will direct her as to her task and expectations. You and I will shower. I want to be seduced, smothered and brought to just feeling, not thinking. Lemon and pepper for caution and stop.”
Sally’s face soured as he listened. She was familiar with protecting her witch. Her disdain for him was palpable.
He smiled, nodded, stood, and waited for Mistress to lead the way. They strolled and made small talk. Sally sped up to open the apartment and prepare for the session. Mistress and Domme moved silently, but she matched his stride.
Privacy blinds kept the apartment completely shut away from the world but bright. An open room with a high breakfast bar separating the kitchen, a solid dining table, an oversized grey sofa, and a king-size bed was connected by intricately patterned rugs, a few big pillows and large potted plants. Over-sized canvases lined the walls—a subtle way to dampen noise. To the BDSM practiced eye, it was easy to see that removing a few items in this place was the perfect dungeon. There were places to watch and play. A bunch of scenes scenarios ran through his head when he saw how solid the dining table was.
Sally stood at the end of the breakfast bar. She was naked except for a pair of red patented heels holding a towel, head bowed. Her pubic hair was a trimmed treasure trail of deep brown curls. Both nipples were pierced and bejewelled with a bell on each loop. The shy ting of the bells drew attention to her heavy breathing. She was working hard to calm herself. He was amused but said nothing. Mistress motioned for him to go with Sally. As he went to take the towel, she turned and walked towards the bathroom. He smiled as he watched her hips sway. Sally walked into the bathroom, expecting him to follow. He connected eyes with Domme.
“She’ll undress you and prepare the shower. I’ll join you in a few minutes. Enjoy her while I take care of a few things. Extra-large, I assume,” she said as she eyed his crotch.
“Yeah, but I have.”
“I have an allergy. I hope you don’t mind?”
He put his hands up. “It’s all good,” he continued to follow Sally to the bathroom.
He was enjoying this in-between world. The bathroom had a walk-in shower, a pedestal sink, and a toilet with a high flush box. A set of hoops and hooks above the toilet titillate the sadist side of him. Bathroom humiliation wasn’t his thing, but maybe this was the time to give it another try. Sally was unbuttoning his shirt, and he slid his hand between her legs. He didn’t make eye contact as he opened her lips and drew her closer as he found her core and slid in a finger. She was wet and holding her breath. He didn’t move. He had her close by her sex, offering no stimulation. Her cunt was a tool to humiliate her. Sally’s sex betrayed her. She worked to continue her task despite her body’s response to his touch.
When she had undone his buttons, she placed her hand on her head and waited for the following command. He maneuvered his hand and turned so she could remove his shirt. He had a chest of black chest hair. Groomed but very sexy. At the waistband, the hair stopped. He manscaped and smelled like pine and lime. His body heat released a clean, warm scent. When she removed his worn brown belt, he put out his hand for it. Sally continued to hold the belt unmoving. Her lower lip jutted out, and her eyes grew big as he motioned for the belt. Again, she did not move.
“Are you afraid of my belt? He asked, suppressing a grin in response to her fear. “I like my subs to hold my belt in their mouth. The anticipation of what comes when I take it makes them all the sweeter. Is your cunt twitching and thumping? Your sweet ass delights me. I’ll pink it up with my hand. Hold on to the sink and count for me.”
He placed the belt between her teeth. He was creating the impossible task of holding the belt and counting. As he caressed and teased her ass, he wrapped himself around her pressing her hands into the edge of the sink. She maneuvered as though to prevent his body from touching her. Her resistance made him smile, but he said nothing. Music floated into from the other room—Latin jazz rhythms with solid bass. Mistresses had changed into s set of clicky shoes. Spikey heels moved in rhythm to the music. She popped her head in, and her body followed. The sight of her sub was too delightful not to witness. Her ample breast and soft stomach were encased in a black lace body stocking with glimmering silver strands in spider web patterns, and shoes like Sally’s accentuated every curve. The bodysuit was overlapped sections that could expose breasts, pussy, and ass for easy access to the observant person.
Mistress skipped to her sub and positioned herself next to the mirror to hold her subs gaze.
“I think ten aside to start. Count nice and loud. If I can’t hear the number, I will repeat it until I can listen to it. Let’s please Mistress and show her how good a sub you are.
“yes, shur,” Sally said, swallowing the lump in her throat.
Mistress giggled and stroked her subs hair after she wiped the tears of humiliation from Sally’s eyes. He rubbed and squeezed Sally’s ass until he felt her lean into him. He wet his finger on her sex and fed it to Mistress. Her tongue licked and sucked Sally’s juices. Her nipples responded and became hard. He stepped in and kissed her, profoundly massaging her tongue with his- sucking and tasting Sally. Sally held her position and watched this bear of a man enveloped her Mistress. His left hand rested on Sally’s neck as his right held Mistress by the throat, and they continued to kiss until a moan of pleasure escaped Mistress’s throat. He backed off and returned his attention to Sally.
Without warning, a playful slap rang out. Sally yelped in surprise.
Another quickly followed, “What was that?
Un, two,” she spoke through the leather.
“Excellent, you-slutty sub, keep counting.”
Three and four were a little harder. Sally held the sink a little tighter and bit down on the belt, and she counted. Five through eight were harder again. Mistress wiped the tears and kissed Sally’s eye. Such a good girl, she purred. Sally was flushed and shaking a little. As he delivered nine and ten, Mistress tweaked and pinched Sally’s nipples. The attention intensified Sally’s arousal. As Sally called 11, 12, and 13, Mistress wet her finger and found Sally’s clit. Mistress flicked at lightning speed; Sally’s knees flexed as she pressed into Mistress’s hand. Every smack brought her closer to orgasm. He watched the women. They were in the moment. He eased back so they could ride this connection. He continued to massage and caress but saw no need to go harder. He watched Mistress for a cue.
Sally was edging and working to stay in control. All this stimulation was too much – a cry of ecstasy ejected the belt from her mouth. The ring of the metal buckle on the porcelain rang out, and Mistress removed her hand.
“No, please don’t stop” Instantly, she regretted her words. She hung her head and waited. She was ashamed. She had let Mistress down. She let go of the sink and stood between the two dominants.
Pain Processing In Kink
As some of you who follow me on Fet may have noticed, I recently added two rib tattoos to the markings Santa has gifted me.
They really fucking hurt, by the way.
Interestingly enough, through my conversations with the tattoo artist and subsequent research on tattooing, I learned a lot about my own pain management that was new information. While I already knew some of this, learning the rest has been a great stepping stone to help me build a more effective pain management routine for days when Santa and I have heavy impact planned.
Some know this one already because I’ve mentioned it or because they have experienced it: pain can be more intense during certain portions of the menstrual cycle. For many it is during the actual menstruation while for others it is during ovulation. Those hormonal changes can make pain less easily tolerated. For those who may be unaware of this fluxuation, it can be a surprise when they suddenly have difficulty with an experience, not realizing the hormonal factor can be a huge variance.
Sleep matters. There are times an extended impact session (or other painful experience) can be about relaxing and focusing on an area of the body that is not experiencing pain. Those techniques are easier to employ when well rested. As for the focus one, the best way I know to describe it is an almost meditative focus on a comfortable body part. I will rub my two largest toes together on the foot with the permanent toe ring. It is a unique sensation and it can help to stop focusing on the part of my body that is hurting.
Stay hydrated. Hydrated skin tends to be more resilient, and isn’t as easily irritated. Things like needles or other tools can create redness and skin irritation, and hydrated skin will generally be able to tolerare those things for longer.
Eat a good meal. I have been guilty of forgetting to eat prior to a scene, and I know some people who don’t eat anything hearty beforehand because they are concerned about appearing bloated or full. It turns out that not eating is terrible for pain tolerance. We get endorphin kicks and adrenaline rushes when we dance with pain. Those chemicals use sugars in the blood as fuel. Without having a reserve, such as carbs or even eating fruit before a scene, the resulting body response can be feeling shaky or weak after handling pain, and subsequent pain will just fucking hurt, because the adrenaline has run out of food to eat. That will definitely cut a scene short.
Avoid alcohol. While, sure, there are impaired consent issues here, from a purely practical standpoint, alcohol can increase the body’s sensitivity to pain. It can also dampen mental acuity and make it more difficult to process the sensations being experienced without becoming overwhelmed or upset.
Use calming breathing techniques or breathing for meditation. Women have used breathing in childbirth to withstand pain, and similar techniques can help in kink experiences.
Relax, for goodness’ sake. How many times have we heard that tensing a muscle makes pain more intense? Work on isolation techniques such as the ones practiced in yoga. These can be excellent for helping stay in tune with one’s body and remind it to relax.
My routine has changed since I’ve learned all of this. Obviously, there are things I can’t change, such as my menstrual cycle. What I can do is choose whether or not to do impact during that time, or choose implements I know I can handle even then.
When I get up the morning we have plans, I eat cereal. I make sure to have a snack in the afternoon, and eat steak or other protein before we leave the house. I also pack an apple or some fruit to eat before our scene, to give me that extra bit of sugar for my body to eat up with endorphins. I also carry protein bars for a quick pick-me-up. I drink water all day, once we arrive, and afterwards, as well. I find that by using this routine, I don’t tend to crash afterwards or even really experience much in the way of drop.
Obviously, everyone is different in the way they handle pain. The thing that doesn’t change is the chemistry behind how our bodies work. The more we understand about ourselves, the better we can be at taking care of our bodies. The better care we take of them, the longer we will be able to participate in the kink activities we enjoy.
Discovering New Kinks Through Tantric Massage
There are many physical and psychological aspects of kinks that many wait years to discover. Exploring your boundaries safely and consensually is of the utmost importance. However, finding someone open and willing to engage in excitingly erotic activities isn’t easy.
This is where tantric massage has much to offer. So what is it, how can it be used to discover new kinks, and should you try it?
What Is Tantric Massage?
The art of Tantra is centuries old. Ancient civilisations have used Tantra as a form of physical and spiritual healing, and it quickly gained a resurgence in popularity throughout the 1960s on the wave of sexual liberation. An indulgent massage makes for excellent foreplay, but tantric massage’s additional yogic and meditative qualities are excellent for exploring the body, mind and soul. So how does this relate to kinks?
Can Tantric Massage Help You Discover New Kinks?
There are numerous ways tantric massage can open you to a world of pleasurable possibilities that are just waiting to be discovered.
Creating a Safe, Consensual Environment
Expertly trained massage therapists who are well-versed in the tantric arts are masters at creating a safe space where you can openly express your sexuality. While you might keep your wildest desires to yourself most of the time, you’ll find incredible liberation in sharing your most adventurous thoughts without judgement.
Helping You Explore Your Body
Kinks don’t often provide a direct route to sexual gratification, they’re much more nuanced than overt sexual acts. Taking the time to discover erogenous zones of the body can develop your understanding of the body. You’ll learn more about the places you like to be touched, how you like to be touched and the kind of stimulation that different types of touch can provide.
Tapping into Your Deepest Desires
In place of judgement-free enjoyment, new sensations can unlock your deepest desires for gratification. From a BDSM perspective, massage works both ways, either as a form of domination — where the masseuse or masseur is in total control of the activity — or, as submission — where the masseuse or masseur is responsible for pleasuring the dominant party through touch. In any case, you’ll be able to experiment with your partner, engaging in both roles to learn what you like most.
Opening Your Mind to New Forms of Pleasure
Being pampered and pleased is highly erotic and provides a direct route to satisfaction. For many, being tantalised and teased is equally enthralling. As you learn more about what you like, you’ll discover more things you enjoy.
The Most Common Kinks Associated with Tantric Massage
Tantric massage is great for BDSM beginners or those looking to discover new kinks. A huge number of opportunities for different kinks emerge from engaging in a professional, authentic tantric massage. Some of the most common kinks to emerge are:
- Orgasm Control — You can discover denying, ruining, extending or postponing orgasms through the variation of touch with an expert tantric masseuse or masseur. It relies on maintaining a high level of sexual arousal before, during or after a climax, sometimes achieved through techniques like edging.
- Domination/Subordination — Through massage, domination and subordination are a dynamic that can emerge between two people. One person takes on the dominant role as the leader or enforcer of the activity, while the other — the subordinate party — assumes more of a pleaser or servant role.
- Voyeurism — If you’re part of a couple, you can experience a tantric as a voyeur, watching your partner be massaged, reverse the roles and allow your partner to watch you enjoy the rapturous pleasure provided by the masseuse or masseur.
- Feet Fetishes — The magic of the tantric touch can inspire all kinds of new, wondrous pleasures. There is an abundance of nerve endings in the feet, which makes a foot fetish one to explore through massage.
- Lingerie — When adorned by your partner or a masseuse, the lacy fabric of lingerie can get your heart racing. It can start a new kink for you as it indicates powerful erotic intent.
- Role Play — This can be linked to dom/sub relationships, but it can also be unrelated. You can enjoy enacting a fictitious scene with your partner, masseuse or masseur.
Whatever your reasons for trying tantric massage, you should approach the activity with an open mind. You’re bound to discover something you enjoy!
Should You Try a Tantric Massage?
Whether you’re at the beginning of your sexual exploration journey or looking for something that will add a new, highly erotic dimension to your sexual escapades, trying a tantric massage with a professional is highly recommended. This way, you’ll learn more about the practice’s physical, mental and spiritual aspects enabling you to find more exciting and daring delights to try in the future.
Rose Colette Aston is a highly experienced tantric practitioner and holistic massage therapist. Drawing on her years of experience and training, she writes informative articles on a wide range of topics related to Tantra, massage, and other holistic well-being practices.