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Tips to avoid burnout in your BDSM relationship

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As many of my readers know – and many here at kinkweekly.com – I am in a long-term D/s relationship. Although we are talking more than seven years, it has not been a totally smooth ride. As with all relationships, arguments, tension and boredom enter when you least expect them. That is the bad news. The good news is that – as opposed to vanilla dynamics – it is much easier to right a ship sailing the BDSM waters. Clearly in a true Master/slave dynamic, there is more inherent honesty than its vanilla counterpart. As a personal example, I was in Las Vegas a number of years ago. I met some girl and spent the night. The next morning my submissive called and asked me what I was doing.  I told her I spent a night with a women and my sub said, “Was she hot?” No arguments, no questioning, no insecurity. “Next time can you call me so I can listen,” she added. A vanilla girl more than likely would have torn my head off. But this doesn’t mean that BDSM solves all problems. But a solid, honest, negotiated hierarchy helps. But what if it is simple boredom that is a problem, what in vanilla terms is called “the Seven Year Itch?”

Many longer term D/s couples (and short term couples, too) often suffer from what I call “BDSM burnout.” Why burnout happens is simple enough. Domming (and subbing) ain’t easy. It takes work, energy and time. Sometimes the BDSM relationship can start to become a chore rather than a joy. It can be the submissive who has “had it up to here” with pleasing her Dominant. It can be the Dominant who finds that the effort he/she must put into being the Master/Mistress outweighs the rewards. It can be a combination of the two. However it happens, here are some very effective remedies I can suggest.

Go to a dungeon play party. By attending a dungeon party, you solve three problems at once. First of all, you get away from your house, your phones and your chores for a night. The atmosphere is so far removed from your day-to-day life, you can escape into the world of BDSM effortlessly. Secondly, you can pick up on the energy of the other players. Thirdly, you can observe new ways to play that might inspire you. This is a win/win/win proposition; you might even solve most of your problems in one night!

If you had written a slave diary, both of you should read it. I always recommend that the slave write a diary chronicling his/her play experiences. If you were fortunate enough to have done this, just re-read them and see what got you off – and what didn’t. You can then easily recreate the best of your past scenes. If you did not write one, it might be time to start one now. Should your relationship hit another snag, you will appreciate having a roadmap back.

Boredom busters. It is easy to get bored doing anything. “Filet mignon, filet mignon…not filet mignon again!” Defeating boredom actually takes work. (This is where I agree with the “Dr. FullOfIt” types.) If it is simply a question of being bored with your play, you must put in the effort and master new techniques. For example, if you are into hand spanking, learn to use a cane. If you are into rope bondage, learn more exotic skills like Shibari. If you usually eschew pain, experiment with some very light pain. These types of approaches will definitely introduce excitement into your BDSM life.

Buy new toys. Go through a BDSM catalogue and pick up some toys. You’d be surprised how a new item can fire up your play. There is usually a toy featured on the kinkweekly.com homepage. Click on it. See, that was easy!  

Discuss without protocols. Have a frank discussion without any D/s protocols. The submissive should not be afraid of speaking out; the Dominant should not be afraid of looking un-Domly. What exactly were the cornerstones of your original enthusiasm? Are either of you not pulling your BDSM weight? What particular sequences turned you on or off to D/s? A super-honest dialogue is often all you need.

Don’t be afraid to change your protocols. Nothing is written in stone. If you had protocols you now ignore – resurrect them. If you have maintained some that now bore you – replace them.

Take a break. Try stopping all D/s and BDSM for a month or two. Taking a break – and starting up fresh later on – may just do the trick.

Hire a pro Domme. Many commercial dungeons, like Sanctuary L.A., offer reasonably priced sessions which can be both exciting and instructive.

Think outside the box — switch. There is nothing wrong with trying something completely different. Change can be very exciting!

With just a little work, you can once again have “intense scenes and highly connective play.” And, you will likely find your BDSM interactions to be even more intense the second time around!  

About the Author
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

 

Sissyslave

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Photo by slave boy julia (sjstudio1.com)

Check out his Mistress’ (Katie Ryan) piece on cock cages. Click here to read it

You know in the movies when they show the biggest asshole in the room, with the most money and the most power, then they pan to him being stepped on, tied up, and getting humiliated by a gorgeous woman dressed in black?

That guy is me.

It’s true that a lot of men in positions of power love the idea of submitting to beautiful women. All day long we have to make difficult decisions and hold others accountable; It gets exhausting.

Personally, I do not enjoy dealing with people, even though it’s my job. I also do not revel in having the tremendous burden of managing a company where every single person depends on me.

Some people in my position would go to the gym to work off tension, others drink, some have affairs.

Me? Well, I wear a cock cage under frilly panties.

When my wife/Mistress first brought up me wearing a cage I couldn’t believe that she would even ask me about the subject. Why would a man willingly put his dick into a vice? They wouldn’t. Unless, they get off on being told what to do.

After our initial conversation, I reflected on getting the cage and read about it for a while before I decided to purchase one.

At this point in our kink relationship we were experimenting with collars and leashes. I was also trying to figure out how to bring up pegging. It seemed the cage would add an element to our kink that would show her I truly was willing to give up the most precious part of my body for her to control.

After we found a cage that fit, I felt a connection with my Mistress that was unlike our marriage vows. I loved being at her mercy and how her demeanor changed from the mother of my children to a confident, unattainable Domme. The cage was the catalyst that pushed both of us into our respected roles in the bedroom. She flourished as my Mistress, and I enjoyed every second of being her slave.

I realize that some of you might still be wondering about the panties. I also tried to ask questions when my Mistress demanded that I wear them. She later explained that I needed to understand that even though I am acting like a boss at work, I would only ever be a sissy boy in her eyes. The panties are a reminder of that and keep our kink relationship alive even when we are not together.

I read her cock cage article and I agree with a lot of what she said. As she stated previously, the most important thing is to make sure you measure correctly. Definitely start playing around with the cheaper cages found on Amazon before buying an expensive one.It would be a shame for anyone to spend a lot of money on cages that won’t be able to be worn.

A lot of people probably have questions about using the bathroom. It is actually very easy to urinate through. If you don’t want to urinate on yourself it is best to sit down down on the toilet. This also adds another level of humiliation, being forced to use the bathroom like a woman. The cage is not meant to be comfortable, but it shouldn’t hurt, especially if you are wearing it all the time. I don’t think that the cage is that noticeable in work pants. Although, my Mistress makes me wear a large heart lock, which sometimes presses through my pants when I sit. I don’t mind it, since I doubt anyone is staring that intensely at my crotch, and even if they did, I doubt they would ever ask. This creates another layer of excitement for both of us.

I started wearing my cage off and on and soon wore it every day. There is something extra exciting about coming home from work and being told to take my cage off so I can please her.

Often I will beg to come and I love when she denies me. Some men would find that ridiculous, but submitting to her makes my delayed orgasam that much more powerful.

I realize that a lot of people do not understand my kink. For the longest time, I did not understand it either. Because of this, I so appreciate my wife experimenting with me so I can learn more about it and grow as a person. Furthermore, I want to make it clear that nothing traumatic happened to me as a child. Pain is also a hard limit for me. I just happen to get turned on by powerful women that wear black latex and lace-up boots.

 

 

Violet Goes For A Ride: Part 2

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Photographer: Matthias Wallmeier
Model: Miss Fetilicious

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, and we are in no way advocates of any kind of abuse, non-consensual behavior, crossing any hard limits, putting anyone in harm’s way (physically/mentally/emotionally/spiritually), or violating one’s boundaries/what was pre-negotiated. This is a story concerning two consenting adults. It involves age play, and we are in no way advocating any kind of pedophilia.

With this being said, enjoy the story!

For Part 1 Click Here

Violet woke up to the sunlight and found that Daddy was still sleeping in her bed. She got up quietly and took a shower. When she got back, Daddy was still sleeping. Fully naked, she slowly got on the bed and carefully took his cock out of his boxers. Daddy stirred a little, but didn’t wake up. She took him in her mouth and started sucking him off. She made loud slurping noises to try and get his attention. Daddy moaned in his sleep, but still didn’t wake up.

Violet got him nice and hard and got up to straddle Daddy. Her pussy was so wet from sucking him off that he slid right inside of her. Sitting on his cock for the first time, she felt every inch of him. She shivered in esctacy as she began to ride him.

“Oh, baby girl,” Daddy exclaimed as he was awakened by his wonderful surprise. “Yes, ride Daddy’s dick,” he instructed as Violet continued to ride her throbbing steed.

“Oh Daddy, you feel so good inside of my little pussy,” she stated as she reached her left hand down to rub her clit. Her right hand lay firmly on Daddy’s chest to brace herself. Daddy grabbed Violet’s ass and guided her into a back and forth movement. “Oh, Daddy. I love when you teach me new things,” she lovingly said.  “Daddy has a lot of tricks up his sleeve, little girl”, he remarked. He began to move his hips up to pound her tight pussy hard while she thrust downward. “Oh Daddy, oh, oh I’m gonna cum,” she screamed as she came the hardest she had ever come.

“You’re not done yet, little one,” he said as he continued to fuck her. “Daddy’s going to give you at least one more orgasm,” he explained as he thrust his big, pulsating cock into her cute pussy. He fucked her from below for a few moments more and then picked her up and laid her on the bed with his dick still inside of her. “Daddy’s seen you doing your morning exercises and knows how flexible you are, little girl,” he declared almost breathless as he plummeted into her.  “Put your legs up and hold them by your head” he ordered sternly.

She listened to her Daddy and was proud to show him that her feet could go behind her head. He was impressed and got harder at the thought of being able to fuck this little contortionist. “Daddy likes that,” he moaned as he put his dick inside her again. She had never felt him inside her so deep. She let out a yelp and quickly felt how pleasurable it felt to have his big cock inside of her as deep as it could go.

“Play with your pussy, baby girl,” he commanded as he dipped his dick inside of her pussy slowly and deeply. She rubbed her clit in a circular motion as Daddy began to get more forceful. “Oh, Daddy. That feels so good. Keep fucking your little girl’s pussy,” she pleaded. With those words she came one more time all over his massive dick. Daddy pumped his cock into her 5 more times and then came inside his little girl’s pussy. He laid on top of her, spent from fucking her so hard. Violet kissed his neck and shoulders and wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you for being my Daddy,” she retorted as she felt more fulfilled and safe than she ever had.

About the Author
Mistress Rayvyn is a 37 year old native New Yorker who has been in the lifestyle for 20 years. Her hobbies include photography, singing, writing, reading, talking to people from around the world on various messengers, cooking, baking, and playing rpgs of all kinds.

She only started writing BDSM erotica a year ago, but has been writing poetry and fictional stories since she was 14 years old. While her BDSM stories are fictional, they are comprised of the fetishes she and her following have. Some stories are catered to specific people in her life, others are fantasies of her own. She hopes to continue to build her following and get some constructive feedback along the way.

Under Lock And Key

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Photographer: Matthias Wallmeier
Model: Miss Fetilicious

“The putting on of a chastity belt, by a partner, is an indication of the dominance by the “keyholder” over the wearer’s sexual activities. By accepting the chastity belt, the wearer accepts surrender of control over their sexual behavior to a partner, who may grant permission to the wearer to engage in sexual activity by removing the belt. The dominant may decide when, where, how, how often, and even if, the submissive is allowed sexual release.”

The first time I brought up a locked cage to my husband, his initial reaction was, “Fuck no.” That is to be expected. After all, a chastity device requires that his precious penis be behind a cage, thus preventing full erections, and the ability for him to masturbate.  In my opinion, the act of chastity is the ultimate power exchange because it requires the dominate to control the submissive’s ability to orgasm.

To be perfectly honest, it was the control part that excited me, long before I realized that I was a Domme. In this article, I want to give readers practical advice on how to find the perfect cage, and different ways to safely and effectively use it in everyday life.  

First, let’s get really clear about what a cock cage is. Contrary to popular belief, it is not a torture device. Your man should not be in pain, unless pain is a kink that is agreed upon beforehand by all parties, in which case, they do make cock cages that range in discomfort. Pain is a hard limit for us. With this being said, we have gone through several different cages before we found the perfect one.

The first cage we used was plastic; we have found that a metal cage is the best for us. It doesn’t have any potential sharp edges. We have also found that the metal cages are more durable.  The cage should be tight and secure so the sub feels totally powerless. Because finding the right fit can sometimes be tricky, it might take a few cages to find the right one. Following instructions on measuring is imperative. The ring of the cage is the most important to get right. The ring slips under the testicles and secures the actual cage. So, too big or too small will either cause too much discomfort, or be too loose, and not retrain the penis. Before purchasing a cage, make sure you measure correctly and understand that all brands are a little different. Again, it may take a few tries to find the right one.

When it will be worn,  for how long, and where the key is going to be kept are all things that should be discussed and consented to ahead of time.

When my husband consented to wearing a cage, it was exciting. Having complete and total control over his penis was not something I took lightly.

Most subs wear the cock cage because they consent to give up total control of their ability to touch their penis. In my opinion, it is the ultimate passing of power, and the Domme should take it very seriously. The cock cage usually comes with a lock, and two keys. I advise that one key be placed somewhere that both the Domme and sub agree on. The other key can be worn by the Domme or hidden.

There are many different uses for the cock cage. It can be worn during sex. There have been several times I have had sex with my slave and made him wear a strap-on. I have made him wear the cage to work, sometimes combined with lace panties.  The point is to humiliate, and emasculate him. Again, all of the above limits were consented to beforehand.

It is up to you how long and how often the sub wears the cock cage-as long as he is safe and continues to relinquish control. It is my advice to have fun with it.

You can have him wear it to work and spend the day sending him naughty pictures. Or have him watch porn with you while wearing it all the while taunting him and making him beg for you to release his cage.

I always allow him to take the cage off at night because he finds it very uncomfortable to sleep in. There are people that wear the cock cage 24/7 and only take it off when instructed. If you find that your sub is into that, make sure that he is super comfortable in his cage. Keep in mind that the male penis has many erections during the night, most of which are not sexual. erections, and when in a tight cage can cut off blood flow and be very painful.

Like everything, this type of kink takes research, patience, and practice.

What is it?

Why wear it?

Different types of cages?

Different ways to use it?

When you can answer these questions thoroughly and accurately, then you are ready to begin looking at cages. However, before use a further conversation is required to hash out all limits that are on and off the table.

About the Author

Katie is a 34 year old writer and adult performer. As far as kink goes she considers herself a Domme  She likes to write about pegging and CEI since these are both her fetishes.

https://www.patreon.com/KRerotica << This is where you can find her erotica

This week in kink: August 27, 2018

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Photographer: Matthias Wallmeier
Model: Miss Fetilicious

Meet James Davis- a 36 year old army vet who lives with his wife, fiance, and two submissive sex slaves

Click here to read more

Photographer: Matthias Wallmeier
Model: Miss Fetilicious

Ever want to take control of the conversation? Check out these conversational tips from a Dominatrix

Click here to learn more

Photographer: Matthias Wallmeier
Model: Miss Fetilicious

Sophie Saint Thomas dispels a lot of the mystery surrounding foot fetishes

Click here to find out more

Photographer: Matthias Wallmeier
Model: Miss Fetilicious

Don’t miss the new BDSM web-series titled Switch

Click here to learn more

Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, collarings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Lodbrock Pillory Set Review

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The lovely Lodbrock Pillory Set

When I first laid eyes on the Lodbrock pillory set I was instantly impressed. The case that holds the set looks and feels like a treasured antique or something straight out of Game of Thrones. The magnificent, detailed finishing of the wood of the case and vintage-looking, ornate latches made me instantly want to see what was inside.

The surface of the case feels smooth and is definitely something that will add a lot of class and character to my home. It is a comfortable size at about three feet or so long. It also looks extremely discrete, and I have no qualms about leaving the case in my living room; my friends will never guess that anything kinky is inside it.

Upon opening the pillory set, I first held the flogger and paddle. They too have ornate detailing and I could instantly tell they were made of really good quality leather. They are both very well crafted, and it is obvious that they will hold up for years to come. I was quite excited for my Master and I to play with these items. It is clear these toys had a lot of care put into them throughout the making process and are of high quality. The paddle is flexible and bounces back into place after every swat or spanking (the full name of the paddle is “The Spanker”). The flogger is quite versatile, and the sound and swat are extremely unique due to its double-layered tresses.

The leather blindfold adds another wonderful layer; I love that it has a medieval look to it that compliments the theme of the whole set. It is easy to put on and very comfortable. The blindfold is also very well made and the leather is smooth and inviting. In short, all of the pieces in the set work together very well.

Lodbrock seems to think of everything you need to play in whatever fashion you choose. The set comes with many strong black chains and metal fittings to hang the pillory, even ceiling mounts. It’s great how the set gives kinksters the ability to play both vertically and horizontally with the pillory. The set can be hung from the ceiling at any height too.

In their manual they state that the wood and the metal will age over time, which I think adds so much unique authenticity to the set. Lodbrock is definitely set apart from other companies by their attention to detail and their commitment to creating the most authentic and realistic pieces possible to take you back to medieval times. One could role play easily with this lavish set.

Even the pillory key fits the theme perfectly, and is quite beautiful. The pillory is also extremely sturdy and beautifully crafted; I felt completely safe and secure in it. The set also includes lovely padded leather inlays for the wrists and neck. The inlays definitely add extra comfort, but I like that they are easily removable in case one doesn’t want comfort during play. The inlays are magnetic so they stay in place very well.

Furthermore, I know that Lodbrock sells more than just this set and also sells additional add-ons to the set. I would highly recommend any of their products. They are very reasonably priced, and I am so impressed with what they offer their customers.

Like previously mentioned, their products are well made and clearly handled with care; Lodbrock definitely goes the extra mile to provide the best craftsmanship, attention to detail, and quality that I have come across in a long time.

I highly recommend them, and am very honored to review one of their products.

If you want to purchase amazing toys, sets, and kink equipment definitely check them out. You will not be disappointed!

https://www.lodbrock.com/

https://www.lodbrock.com/custom/index/sCustom/27

https://www.etsy.com/shop/LODBROCK

They also have a brochure if you want a preview!

http://www.lodbrock.com/media/pdf/41/f9/22/pillorybrochure.pdf

More About Lodbrock

A small group of artisans and professionals design and create all the products. They love immersing themselves in the past, so they jumped in and started creating the first line around the mystery and fantasy of a medieval theme. Their hope is to make various fantasy worlds for kinky folks to choose from-perhaps, a latex-orientated Kubrick line next.

They started this to create high quality products at reasonable prices. Currently, there is so much junk on the sex toy market. Although a few people are working hard around the world to produce quality equipment, these individuals are mainly single artisans creating a small number of items. Lodbrock has gathered together enough craftspeople to produce large numbers of handcrafted quality items. They have a distribution centre in California and another one in Germany so they can ship quickly within days. No more waiting weeks or months for good equipment. Custom quality, delivered quickly, and at great prices.

Add them and like them on their social media handles too!

Order your pillory set now!

https://www.lodbrock.com/shop/schlossmeister/furniture/1/pillory-set

This is a sponsored post

This week in kink: August 20, 2018

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New to kink? Not new but want to brush up on skills or just enjoy a play party with fresh energy?  CLUB AWAKENING is what you’re looking for!

Club Awakening is a party that was designed for newbies in the BDSM scene.  It’s been a monthly party since March 2016 at Sanctuary LAX.  This party includes 4 set tasting booths plus one surprise booth each month.  The set booths are hands on play (spanking, face slapping, etc), crops/canes/paddles, flogging, and rope.  You can either feel what these things feel like as a bottom or learn how to do these things as a Top – or both!  We even have several volunteer practice bottoms to lend a helping hand (aka butt) so you can practice even without a play partner.  Other volunteers float the venue to answer questions and help point you in the right direction.

There are also 2-3 vendors and a midnight raffle – with multiple prizes to win!  We provide a coat and bag check for a nominal fee as well as a fun photo booth where you can get pics taken of you and your friends to commemorate the night!

You can get DISCOUNTED pre-sale tickets or pay at the door! (see below for links)

About the venue:

Sanctuary Studios LAX is proud to have been named “Best Dungeon in Los Angeles” by TimeOut Magazine – February 2016

Sanctuary LAX is a Los Angeles dungeon located within close proximity to LAX. It features a state of the art, air-conditioned facility completely rebuilt from the ground up under the direction of Mistress Cyan. Formerly known as Passive Arts, Sanctuary Studios LAX is the largest Dungeon in Los Angeles with more than 7000 sq ft. and a 1500 sq. ft. main room. The location features many rooms (both large and more intimate), high ceilings, and a large variety of dungeon furniture.  It is complete with an outdoor smoking patio and a stage in the main room with plenty of seating.

Eventbrite: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/club-awakening-august-2018-tickets-48356384247

Fetlife:https://fetlife.com/events/688482

Brian Vox- http://www.voxart9.com/

There are often many false accusations going around when it comes to littles/being a little. Check out this awesome article to help eradicate stereotypes about people who identify in this manner

Click here to read more

Brian Vox- http://www.voxart9.com/

The founders of Crave did an intriguing photo shoot comprised of people in their fetish wear and everyday clothes to send a humanitarian message

Click here to check it out

Brian Vox- http://www.voxart9.com/

Consent and asking/giving consent is so important. This week a host of group sex parties explains their definition of consent and gives tips/exercises to help further deepen our understanding

Click here to learn more about this paramount subject

Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, collarings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Violet Goes For A Ride: Part 1

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Brian Vox-http://www.voxart9.com/

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, and we are in no way advocates of any kind of abuse, non-consensual behavior, crossing any hard limits, putting anyone in harm’s way (physically/mentally/emotionally/spiritually), or violating one’s boundaries/what was pre-negotiated. This is a story concerning two consenting adults. It involves age play, and we are in no way advocating any kind of pedophilia.

With this being said, enjoy the story!

Violet laid in her bed with her stuffed animals. She was ready for Daddy to tell her a bedtime story before she drifted off into blissful sleep. She wore her cutest panties with little rainbows on them and no bra under her rainbow t-shirt.

Daddy peeked into the doorway and watched as little Violet’s ass moved side to side as she laid on her stomach. He loved her ass and how her cute little feet had different color nail polish on each toe to match her rainbow ensemble. “Ready for bed, baby girl,” he said as he entered the room with a big smile on his face.  “Yes, Daddy!” she exclaimed with excitement as she sat up on the bed.

“Tonight we are gonna do something a little different,” he explained. “Now make room for Daddy so I can lay next to you.” She moved over and Daddy got in the bed. She noticed Daddy’s erection in his boxers, but dared not touch it without permission. Her pussy began to get wet at the thought of it entering her. Daddy had other things in mind though.

He kissed Violet on the lips softly and a few moments later they began to french kiss deeply. “Daddy’s hungry,” he asserted  and began kissing down to her breasts, lifted up her shirt, and caressed each nipple with his mouth. He sucked each nipple tenderly while teasing the other nipple with his fingers.

He kissed down to her belly and licked, sucked, and bit her flesh passionately. The smell of her pussy juice became more prominent as he went lower. He kissed down to her pubic mound and through her panties began to bite her pussy lips softly and suck on her clit. “Is this okay, baby girl?” he asked. “Yes, Daddy. Keep going please,” she begged.

He pulled her panties to the side and put one finger into her tiny hole. He made a “come hither” movement inside of her, and she moaned at the pleasure it brought her. He then took his tongue and licked from hole to clit. He looked into Violet’s glacial eyes and whispered, “You are super tasty, baby girl.” “Thank you, Daddy. Please continue,” she implored.

His mouth moved up and down, his tongue buried deep inside her pussy lips as he continued to finger fuck her. Her young, tight pussy was so fresh he couldn’t get enough of it. Eventually, he took his finger out of her and licked it. “Mmm, you taste so good, baby girl.” She shivered at his words. “Now take off your panties for Daddy,” he ordered; Violet did as she was told.

“Daddy is going to lay down and you’re going to put your cute, little  pussy over his face,” he asserted.

She blushed and asked “Will you be able to breathe, Daddy”?

“Yes baby and if I can’t I’ll tap you on your ass three times.”

“Yes, Daddy,” she said as her little body went over his face and she began to ride it.

“Mmm Daddy. It feels so good like this,” she moaned as her little pussy rubbed harder and harder against her Daddy’s mouth.

Daddy grabbed and smacked Violet’s ass lightly, and guided her to rub all the way up to his nose. His nose hit her clit just right and she made sure to move in such a way that he had time to breathe. The intensity of it was so strong that she moved her pussy faster and faster over Daddy’s mouth and nose until she climaxed hard and came all over Daddy’s chin.

“That was delicious,” he said to his little girl. He kissed her with his cum covered mouth. “I do taste good, Daddy,” she stated. Daddy was not done with her, but he needed to rest for a while. He fell asleep next to his little girl only to wake up to a surprise in the morning.

For Part 2 Click Here

About the Author

Mistress Rayvyn is a 37 year old native New Yorker who has been in the lifestyle for 20 years. Her hobbies include photography, singing, writing, reading, talking to people from around the world on various messengers, cooking, baking, and playing rpgs of all kinds.

She only started writing BDSM erotica a year ago, but has been writing poetry and fictional stories since she was 14 years old. While her BDSM stories are fictional, they are comprised of the fetishes she and her following have. Some stories are catered to specific people in her life, others are fantasies of her own. She hopes to continue to build her following and get some constructive feedback along the way.

Just Because I Have A Penis

By 7 Comments

Brian Vox-http://www.voxart9.com/

I have been around the block more than once, ok twice now, and in that time, I have had to deal with some major bullshit as a male s-type. Yes, can you imagine that someone would treat a male s-type differently than a female s-type? Say it ain’t so, would you? All kidding aside there is and always will be a major difference in the way the genders are treated when it comes to their submission. Now, I am a male for clarification, but I am going to speak a bit about both sides because of being friends, acquaintances, and play partners with some amazing females that identify as switches, submissives, or slaves.

When I first entered into the community I dealt with all kinds of BS that I frankly didn’t understand, and it really tripped me up a bit. I wondered why I was being treated as inferior or less than others. I kept thinking to myself, “self you are good person who tries to be nice and do right by others. So, why do these people keep treating me like I am less than them. Is it because I identify as a submissive?”

So, I quickly started watching interactions between the genders, and noticed some pretty big differences in how male and female s-types were treated. My first interactions with male D-types were not positive ones for the most part. They wouldn’t even acknowledge I existed at first. No handshake, no eye contact, turning away so I wasn’t in the field of view, and even an attempt at dismissal. Luckily for me, my Domme was not going to deal with that BS, and would call people out on that. Never mess with a fiery red-head in latex and 5 inch stiletto boots, I guess. Now, I won’t say it was all male D-types, but a lot of them. Then, I experienced the posturing female D-type, and couldn’t figure out what was worse the male or the female-they both sucked pretty bad. After a while, I thought, “maybe it was how the community is in Phoenix.”  What I started to notice was that my female counterparts were not getting this type of treatment. Now, this doesn’t mean they weren’t getting treated like this, but from what I saw it was pretty one sided. To me, I identified as an s-type, and they identified as an s-type. So, why was I being treated outwardly so poorly by these D-types?

At this point in my journey, I returned to Los Angeles after being away for 8 years. I was a year and half into my kink journey, and this amazing thing called the internet and AOL had come to show us the way. Stop laughing youngsters. This is how it happened back in the day. So, I got involved in the LA community thinking that people here are a lot more open minded. Well, I was incorrect in that assumption. I ran into the same type of BS that I did in Phoenix. However, the difference was I was told why I was getting shunned. Are you ready for this? It was because any man that would submit to a woman is weak. Huh! WTF does that mean? Now at the time I was with another amazing Domme who was unbelievably skilled and very well liked in the community. She advised me to blow those assholes off. Yet, she was friends with them. I didn’t understand this, and I certainly didn’t think I was weak in any way, shape, or form.

So, one night at a munch I asked a female s-type who I was friendly with if she thought I was weak for submitting to a woman. She said, “Well, I don’t know about weak, but since you let your Domme do anal play with you that seems like kind of a weak or sissy kind of submission.” I stood there with my mouth wide open and mind about to blow up. She then continued with, “I could never be with a man that takes it in the ass because that isn’t very masculine.” Huh! Are you kidding me, once again? So, I asked her, “If your Dom asks you to take it in the ass doesn’t that mean you are weak for doing it?” The response was exactly the kind of BS I kept hearing, “No, because I am a female, and if my Dom wants to do that to me then it is my responsibility to do what he says and likes.” This was a problem for me in a big way and it made no sense.

So, here I was conflicted, angry, confused, and completely dumb-founded. Do people really feel and think this way? Now, on the other side of this there are a huge portion of  Female D-types who love male submissives, and look at them as amazing, strong willed, intelligent, masculine people who choose to submit to a Dominant Female, and that could never be construed as weak. Now, I am not saying that female s-types don’t get treated poorly; I have seen a ton of that and it makes me very sad.

This kind of behavior is very damaging too for the people on the s-side of the slash because we feel like we are giving our best effort to please, and that it is being taken advantage of. I also know that a lot of female s-types are non-consensually sexualized within their dynamics and/or with play partners.The problem with this type of behavior is that if it goes unchecked people begin to believe their bullshit. Trust me, there are a lot of D-types who believe they are superior to s-types, and forget that the s-type chose to submit.

In present time, a lot has changed for the better. I now have male D-types I call friends or acquaintances who respect me and I respect them. Are there still the ones who consider a male s-type weak?  Yes, and I run into them still. They do act a little more stealthy than they used to because they realize that it isn’t the popular mode of thinking anymore, and more and more Female D-types will call them out on that kind of behavior. What I see now as well are female s-types having more of a voice, and standing their ground against misogynistic behavior. Do I believe that female s-types get looked at differently than male s-types? Of course. However, lets not forget, they have their own BS to deal with, and some of it is very scary stuff.

People will always be assholes, narcissists, misogynists, bullies, creepers, etc. Despite this fact of life, we need to look at the fact that we choose these roles that we enjoy based off of feelings and thoughts that draw us towards what seems right to us. For me, I love being a submissive male and I choose this. And No, I am not weak, stupid, wimpy, meager, or docile. I choose to submit to certain people and not to others, which is why I know I am a strong individual because no matter who you think you may be in this world, you have to earn my submission as well as all who choose to be on the s-side of the slash.

If you can take away anything from this, I would say be true to yourself in whatever role you choose- yes, the role you CHOOSE. Remember, if you identify as an s-type your value is very key to these relationships, because without your strength, courage, brains, humor, masculinity/femininity, experience, and intelligence the D-types would be standing around with their floggers attached to their belt loops.

About the Author

Jay has been around the Kink Community for 20 years or so and has explored a lot of different things in that time. Jay has known he enjoyed the s side of the slash since he first began his journey-all though at first he didn’t know what it really was, but he just seemed to like it. He also is a latex fetishist with a really big like for exploring edgier types of play, and has been known to indulge in interrogation, intense predicament bondage, heavy sensory deprivation play, breath play, and many other interesting kinks and fetishes. Jay is also an active outdoor enthusiast with a love of skiing, rock climbing, cycling, mountain biking, flying, hiking, and paddle boarding.  He also indulges in movies, books, art, music, and is an avid fan of baseball both playing and watching.
Over the last 8 years Jay has also delved into teaching and educating on many different topics. He created a sub panel, which he presented at Stockroom University on several occasions. With a few other male submissives he helped form the Sub Male Support Group for LA as well.
On several occasions Dr. Patti Briton has asked  Mistress Hudsy Hawn, Jay, and others to educate future sex therapists on the subject of kink. He has had the opportunity to speak several times about the Art of Saying NO, helping to give people a voice in the community, and not being afraid to stand up for themselves.  Jay also had the chance to do a Ted Talk at the Threshold Clubhouse on how wearing latex can be turned into an entire scene, and has had the amazing opportunity to be a demo bottom on several occasions for Midori, Mistress Morgan Sterling, Miss Hudsy Hawn, and The Baroness Kitty.
Furthermore, Jay was asked to copresent a class on negotiation with Jennifer Masri at the Threshold Clubhouse.  Recently Mistress Bella Bathory and Jay were able to go to USC and present to graduate and under graduate students about the kink lifestyle and what BDSM really means. Jay is always giving of his time and knowledge in the scene, and attends munches, support groups, talks, and gatherings.

Rituals in BDSM

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Brian Vox-http://www.voxart9.com/

In a previous edition of kinkweekly.com, Slave Bunny offered a terrific piece (https://www.kinkweekly.com/article-guest-author/rituals-part-2/ ) on rituals. Since rituals in BDSM are extremely important, I thought I might present some additional thoughts that illustrate how essential they are in our lifestyle. To paraphrase some football guru, “Rituals aren’t everything, they are the only thing.” I might have got that backwards, but you get the idea!

(Definition of “ritual”: a formal set of specific repetitive actions. In the BDSM context, specific sequences performed by the submissive at the pleasure of the Dominant.)

There are two major purposes for rituals in the BDSM lifestyle. The first is to maintain and reinforce the power exchange that is the essence of all D/s relationships. The second is to facilitate transitioning from “vanilla headspace” to “submissive headspace.” First, let’s examine its uses from a power dynamic point of view.

The most common ritual – it is virtually ubiquitous – is the honorific verbal greeting of “Sir,” “Master,” “Mistress” and “Ma’am.” Addressing the Dominant in this way is a very powerful tool for maintaining the power exchange that is at the heart of any D/s union. It reinforces the air of esteem that a submissive must have for her/his Dominant. The beauty of honorifics is that it offers an elegant way to reinforce the conscious integration of the power exchange within the relationship.

Of course, it is up to the couple to determine when this address will be required. Will it be compulsory 24/7, even in “vanilla” settings? Will it be mandatory only in scene-friendly environments? Is it only to be used during a BDSM scene? However often it is required, it is a verbal corroboration that the Dom/me is to be respected and obeyed in the context of the rules of their relationship. We think the honorific greeting is so essential to any D/s relationship that we offer two digressions on this topic.

Digression number one! Problems are often encountered when the slave is required to use “Master” 24/7. Using the title “Master” at a vanilla party can be dicey. But, there is one slave who came up with a brilliant solution to this problem. She always addressed her Dominant as “Master” but always added the word “Blaster” — as in the “Master Blaster” — in sticky situations. No one ever suspected; she was always able to address her owner as “Master” in just about every circumstance.

Digression number two! Although I am not personally fond of the common practice where a submissive addresses every Dom/me in the community as “Sir” or “Mistress,” there are exceptions for those who are universally respected in the community. I also think it is best to address a prospective Dominant thusly. If you use his/her birth name too often early on, it might become a hard habit to break. Using honorifics judiciously will serve you well.

Rituals are awesome tools for transitioning from “normal headspace” to “submissive headspace.” (We must make the distinction between “subspace,” which is defined as an exhilarated state caused by a rush of endorphins emitted during a BDSM scene, and “submissive headspace,” which can be viewed as the mental state of being in service to the Dominant.) In our busy and stress-filled world, this transition can be a difficult one. For example, if the sub has come home from a tough day at work, he/she might have a hard time getting into a submissive frame of mind. It is not easy to leave work headspace and enter submissive headspace. Rituals make this changeover a lot easier.

The classic greeting, or presentation, ritual is a tried-and-true transition technique. Here the submissive kneels in front of her Dominant and kisses his/her feet, shoes or boots. The sub remains in this position until a hand or verbal signal tells him/her to rise and maintain a kneeling position until instructed further. Another popular ritual is the inspection ritual. Here the submissive is required to kneel with his/her legs spread so the Dominant can inspect her/his private parts and make sure they are satisfactory. This is a superb triggering protocol; it has “submission” written all over it!

Although the greeting and inspection rituals are both popular and powerful, the transitioning protocol can be virtually anything. The Dom/me’s hand on the slave’s cheek, a particular look, a series of words or phrases, a slap to the face, a hair pull or just the touch of the Dom/me’s hand on the neck can trigger the transition. Any series of consistent, ritualized actions can activate the transition into submissive headspace  – and thus reinforce the Dom/me’s “Domspace.”.

Let me offer an innovative way to look at submissive headspace and transitioning. One can categorize submissive headspace into three distinct levels. The first level is “operational submission,” where you are submissive to your Dominant but little is required of you. It is a relaxed submissive state; the power dynamic is acknowledged but rarely actuated. The second stage is “active submission.” Here the sub might be required to be very attentive to the Dom and be available for him; but limits are not pushed. It is a state of familiar submission. No curveballs are thrown. The third space is “slave submission.” Typically, this is during play or training sessions; limits can be pushed and new areas of D/s are often explored. Transitioning into each of these states is most effectively accomplished with specific rituals designed to activate each of these levels as required. For example, a simple honorific can activate the first level. The physical greeting ritual might be used to transition into level two. And an intense inspection ritual might be the prompt to enter level three.

The number and complexity of rituals varies from Dom/me to Dom/me and couple to couple. Whether you are low, medium or high protocol, rituals are essential tools in your BDSM arsenal.

About the Author

After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.