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Review: Locking / buckling wrist cuffs

July 29, 2017 By Desdemona 2 Comments

red cuffs stockroom

Dexx says:

Stockroom was kind enough to send us these leather cuffs to review, so we thought it would be rude not to strap anniebear into them and give her a good spanking. I can confirm that she was held firmly in place and despite some considerable moaning and squirming, she was quite unable to escape… mission accomplished.

These cuffs are part of the standard line of bondage accessories produced by Stockroom, hence the fairly plain sounding product name. They come in a range of colors, including black, pink, and red. We got the red ones, which look quite distinctive and never fail to attract a compliment when being used at a play party or dungeon.

The cuffs have a 2 inch wide main body which fit around the wrists, and then taper to thinner sections at either end. What this achieves is that the thin part can be tucked through and wrapped around the entire wrist. When compared with more traditional style cuffs, you get a much more comfortable and snug fit, and they are also especially robust and secure. Short of some heavy duty fabric shears, there’s no escaping these guys until the top says so!

The buckle features a loop, which allows you to attach padlocks to keep them properly locked if desired. There is also a sturdy D-ring, which is handy for attaching the cuffs to bed posts, dungeon furniture, or each other.

It took a couple of goes to fully understand how to loop them through to close them properly. But overall, these cuffs are sturdy, soft and reliable and I can see then becoming a regular feature of my toy box.

red cuffs ladder

anniebear says:

I love the helplessness of bondage – it intensifies the power exchange of D/s play and helps me get into a great headspace. If you haven’t had a good spanking while helpless and bound, you haven’t lived.

Leather cuffs like these are great for fast and practical bondage. They may not have the same sensual art as rope bondage, but they get the job done.

There are enough size options that you should be able to get them closed nice and snug, but with enough room so that they are comfortable and don’t inhibit blood flow etc. I had them attached to a loft ladder pulling my wrists high and wide, and they are wide enough that I was comfortable in this position for at least 15 minutes. They aren’t suspension cuffs, so I wouldn’t want them taking my body weight, but fine for holding the weight of my arms.

I love the striking red that these ones came in. They come in some other colors too – I wouldn’t mind trying out the pink ones some time. There are also matching ankle cuffs which I bet would go great with a spreader bar – looking forward to testing those out another time. You can get this this exact pair from Stockroom. Make sure to come back and let us know what you think!

Tagged With: bdsm, bondage, cuffs, dominant, fetish, handcuffs, leather, master, slave, Spanking, submission

kirsten restrained

July 17, 2017 By Vice Erotica 4 Comments

lingerie girl

Photographer: Vice Erotica Rope: ShamelessOne Model: Kirsten

Kirsten was a naughty girl. She teased and tormented her Sir with photos while he was away at work. Little did she know, Sir would be making a surprise visit for lunch…

Kirsten_153
Kirsten_174
Kirsten_179
Kirsten_176
Kirsten_175
Kirsten_171
Kirsten_168
Kirsten_173

Tagged With: art, photographer, photography, punishment, rigger, Rope, submission

“Coca-Cola Dominance”

May 1, 2017 By Baadmaster 7 Comments

schoolgirl-cropped

Definition: “Coca-Cola Dominance.” In a D/s relationship, when a Dominant asks only for behavior that the submissive would do anyway.

I had touched on the “Coca-Cola Dominance” question in a previous kinkweekly.com article, “Does being in love diminish a Dom/me’s power?” In theory, love does make the Dom/me less likely to release the sub and thus diminishes the Master/Mistress’s greatest threat. Thus, less power. But a monarch does not have to rule by intimidation. And the power drain of saying “I love you” can be made up in other ways — the sub’s love for her Dom/me might make her/ him a better slave. Surely, a “Coca-Cola” Dom/me and submissive might have a relationship with 100% obedience – then again I get 100% compliance at any McDonalds. Dominance and submission, in my opinion, should have some degree of difficulty or it is not D/s.

Anyone can be a slave if Master only asks things that the slave could do easily — like drinking Coke and not Pepsi. In the world of BDSM relationships, even when things are going swimmingly, a Master/Mistress must ask for things that stretch the sub’s “expectation range.” The Master/Mistress must ask for things outside this range if only to reinforce Dominance. A personal example: my newly collared slave wanted to order clam chowder at a restaurant. I simply said “No.” For no other reason than to say “No.” I really could care less if she had clam chowder. But she wanted it and I thought it was a good place to show her that she eats what I want her to eat. She made no mention of it; she just ate her salad. She accepted it with not a second thought. She respected our contract, which included ordering food, and behaved accordingly. She passed my test, albeit an easy one.

Clam chowder aside, a Dom/me may need to periodically, and deliberately, require a slave to do things they don’t like. Call it pushing soft limits or a test, the purpose in doing so is to remind the slave that he/she must submit to her Dom/me, even when it’s difficult to do so. Neither Dominance nor submission should be taken for granted. Besides, pushing limits is fun – and let’s not forget we are all in this for fun!

All of this dovetails into the broader – and very important — question of how to keep a long term Master/slave relationship alive. It’s not good for Master/Mistress or slave to allow D/s to lapse or get lazy – most notably by allowing “Coca-Cola D/s” to become the day-to-day hierarchy. Dominance and submission is very difficult to maintain if it isn’t actively practiced.

I think to be able to serve or be served without fear for the relationship should be the aim of any long-term D/s relationship. That’s not so easy to achieve. And going “Coca-Cola” doesn’t seem to me to be a viable solution. It might work for a scene at a play party or a short term relationship, but – even in a vanilla relationship – there must be demands placed on both parties. In our ever evolving lifestyle (which we will be discussing at DomConLA’s “Old Guard vs. New Guard” panel presentation May 20th) there are still some bedrock principles that should be respected. First among them is that “Coca-Cola Dominance” is not dominance “Coca-Cola submission” is not submission!

By BaadMaster
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Tagged With: D/s, dominance, dominant, dynamic, power exchange, relationship, submission

Being a Domme for the first time

February 28, 2017 By anniebear 2 Comments

Mistress Anniebear in action! Just kidding!
Mistress Anniebear in action! Just kidding!

From the submissive point of view!

Since entering the scene nearly three years ago, I’ve always identified as a submissive. However, that doesn’t mean I haven’t used my brat side to participate in co-topping (two Doms, one sub) or casually playing with female friends. As of late I’ve felt a pull towards domination. While I think I will always identify as a submissive in my personal relationships, I sure do think it’s fun to top and torture specific people! Some would say this makes me a switch and that’s ok. I’ve not been able to “own” that label yet. Maybe some day I’ll be Mistress Anniebear but that’s a subject for another article, wouldn’t you say?

Having come from the submissive background, I logically and intellectually knew the “nuts and bolts” on the practical side of topping; for example how to throw a flogger, deliver spankings safely, wax play, electrical, you name it. Heck, I can’t even count how many classes I’ve been to and types of play I’ve enjoyed over these few years. I’ve been busy! But what to do about actually physically topping someone in a dedicated, planned out scene? Would I be able to deliver? I decided to “hone my craft” by practicing on a few willing participants. That in it of itself was super fun! I was surprised at how easily some of the skills came to me. I attribute it to not only those classes but also the dozens of scenes I’ve sat back and watched as well. That’s an education too. I attended a few play parties playing as a Domme. I made sure to let potential play partners know that I was newer to Topping but happy to try things out. Funny how many people are willing to be guinea pigs to a blossoming Domme in training ;)

The greatest test arrived one day in the form of a newbie submissive. We were introduced by a vanilla friend who knew I was kinky and she thought I could show her the ropes. We hit if off from the start. She had amazing energy and was willing to learn. I confessed that being a Domme was a new side of me and that we would proceed slowly. I walked us through a lengthy negotiation-probably overkill on my part but hey, I wanted to be safe and not scare the girl away! We arranged a paly date at my house and the date was swiftly approaching. I’m pretty sure I was more nervous than she could possibly be. I couldn’t believe how much trust she was placing in me. What if I screwed up or accidentally hurt her?

I planned out a scene that included several elements, providing a range of sensations and experiences for her. I also ran my ideas by my “in house” Dom, Dexx. Not everyone is as lucky as I to be with someone who allows me to explore not only submission but domination as well. He encouraged me to seek out partners and see where it takes me. He being of the devious sort was more than happy to assist in hearing my scene ideas, throwing in some pointers and giving approval as well. The scene was set!

The night arrived for our play date. I donned my best “Dominatrix” outfit for effect and arranged the playroom for our scene. I had given my willing submissive instructions on what to wear and she did not disappoint. I could tell she was nervous but so was I! I hid it as best I could. I knew the best way around all of this was to just blindfold her as soon as possible! At least then she would at least be able to not see if I made a mistake. We proceeded slowly into the scene. I placed her on a leash and walked her about and then into the playroom. I put that blindfold on her and it was game on! Starting with some sensation play I worked from easiest in difficulty to hardest (at least in my opinion and skillset). My logic was that I would have her warmed up and personally be more comfortable and confident as the scene went along. Admittedly I was shaking a bit with nerves (not good for a Top!) but it seemed to ease up as time went on.

Luckily “my” submissive was being very responsive so it was easy to tell if she liked or disliked something. In addition to some sensation play with scratchy things, I tried several paddles and impact implements, flogging (learned from a class!), nipple clamps and clothespins. I ended with some wax play which was most worrisome for me. I tried the wax on myself first so I could feel the temperature. All in all, she seemed to like this the best. I also thoroughly enjoyed peeling the wax off after it dried!

We wrapped up the scene and sat together afterward for our aftercare. I asked her what she liked and disliked. It was honestly one of the most educational and eye opening experiences I’ve ever had in this lifestyle. Another human being allowed me to essentially do whatever I wanted to them. The sheer vulnerability of the whole act was mind blowing. I felt honored that she entrusted me with her safety and pleasure. I’ve heard it said that submission is a gift and I believe this wholeheartedly. I also realized that I could never entirely be a Dominant. I don’t know if I could handle that pressure and weight. This proves that for me it does not come naturally and shows that some people are just inherently dominant or submissive. I’d highly recommend that every kinkster, just once in their lives experience kink from the other side of the spectrum. You may not necessarily like it, but you would learn something!

anniebear is a submissive living with her partner Dexx in Los Angeles. She enjoys writing, modeling for friends, animal rescue, and teaching herself how to cook. You can catch her on Fetlife or Facebook.

Tagged With: dominant, dominatrix, Journey, learning, my first time, newbie, submission

Erotica: For Shame

February 27, 2017 By Phi Leave a Comment

Submissive woman outside

Episode 1 of the Mr. and Mrs. Shameless Series

“Have you no shame?” he asked incredulously. She’d been bent over trying to pull a stubborn weed out of her front lawn. It was a hot day and she was wearing a short sundress. Standing up and turning toward the voice that had interrupted her struggle, she cocked her head to the side.

“Excuse me?”

“The way you’re dressed, you should take better care to watch what you’re showing off to the world, young lady. Obscenities do not belong in public.”

Young lady. Her eyes narrowed. She’d show him how young ladies could be obscene.

“DADDY!”

The front door opened and he came out, using his palm to shield his eyes he looked out onto the front lawn. “What’s up, pumpkin?”

She twisted at the waist so her skirt would flair up a bit as she turned. “Daddy, Mr. Buzzkill wants to know if I have any shame. Do I have any shame, Daddy?”

Her husband looked over at the man standing on the sidewalk. “What did she do?” They were peers – middle aged, salt and peppered.

“She was bent over in that short dress letting the world see everything she’s got. Look, I’m no prude, but it’s a dangerous time for women to be flashing their goodies all over the place without caring about consequences.”

“You are absolutely right. I should teach her some shame.”

“Oh, no Daddy, please no!”

“Bend over and show me all your goodies the way you were showing them to the world. I need to teach you a lesson.”
She dutifully bent over. The hemline of her skirt slid up her thigh to just under the lace trim of her white panties.
Stepping forward, her husband lifted the skirt, pulled her panties down and started unbuckling his belt.

“What are you doing?” The interloper was panicked.

“I’m teaching her about shame. It was your idea.” He unzipped his pants and pulled his cock out. As he shoved it inside her he grunted toward her, punctuating each word with a slap to her ass, “You need to learn to care about consequences.”

“Yes, Daddy. I’ll learn my lesson, I promise. Uhhh..yess….teach me that lesson right there, oh that lesson feels so good Daddy.”

The interloper ran back across the street to his home, and the suburban couple took their shameful display back inside.
A few minutes after she’d finished swallowing his load, the doorbell rang.

“Hey, guys. I got a complaint from your neighbor that you were having intercourse on your front lawn.”

“Hey Officer Bradley, you’re right on time. She’s ready for round 2.”
“You know, Simon, you could just call me over. I’m always happy to fuck your wife.”

“Yeah, but this way that nosy neighbor of mine gets something out of it.”

Phi is an erotic fiction writer. Phi (pronounced “fee”) came into kink at early age and renewed her connection with the lifestyle in 2014 after a decade-long hiatus. A somewhat popular and undeniably avid blogger on fetlife.com under the name phi-is-me, phi lives in the suburb of a suburb in southern California with two cats and six pillows.

Tagged With: erotica, femsub, girl, punishment, Spanking, submission

Dexx Interviews Ken Marcus

November 14, 2016 By Desdemona 1 Comment

ken marcus photo

Dexx: You’ve been shooting fetish photography for decades, you’re a legend in the BDSM community, and probably the only fetish photographer that’s also a household name in the vanilla world. You didn’t start out doing Fetish photography or even pictures of people though, but rather with landscapes. So how did you actually become interested in photography all that time ago?

Ken Marcus: Well, I became interested as a kid. I think I was maybe five or six years old when I first picked up a camera and I was attracted to it. I got involved in doing dark room work, I think when I was around maybe eight years old. My brother had left a little kit from the boy scouts to earn a merit badge in the basement. I went down there one day, found it, pulled it out, read the instructions, mixed it up and started printing his negatives just because I was bored and thought that that would be fun to do. And it’s very addicting seeing pictures come up when you develop so I got into doing that and started studying with Ansel Adams at an early age.

When did you take your first fetish pictures?

That would have been in the early ’90s.

That wouldn’t have been the Penthouse magazine one by any chance?

No, well, yeah. Kind of. There was a layout that I did with a girl who was playing with some rope and wrapped it and did a couple of silly little things like that. You wouldn’t really call it bondage. But it was enough that that particular issue of Penthouse wasn’t allowed in the UK, not in England, not in Canada, not in Australia and it ended up costing them a couple of million dollars in sales. They were hesitant to do that again for a lot of years. Did a similar thing with Playboy. I got them banned once in Canada…got them to push a few boundaries and the Canadians pushed back. So…some of the weirdest laws revolve around pornography.

So presumably before you did that first shoot in the early ’90s, you had a personal interest in BDSM?

Absolutely. All my life. Every serious relationship that I had, anything that lasted more than a short period of time. I tried a couple vanilla relationships in my lifetime but those didn’t last. But in regards to photographing it, you just didn’t do that back then. That was asking for trouble. I came from a period of time when you could go to federal prison for showing pubic hair or genitalia in a photograph.

Wow! So times have changed for the better then?

Times have changed somewhat for the better. There are very active forces right now trying to get rid of porn, trying every clever conceivable way. “We want to protect the actors. Therefore we want them to all wear condoms”. Knowing full well that no one will ever buy porn with somebody wearing a condom.

But these days you can obviously find just about anything that you might want on the internet.

Exactly. Because the current laws in the United States do not affect anything on the Internet. The United States has no place involved in the Internet. We have no jurisdiction. We can’t do anything. We can add jurisdiction over the production of content, but once it’s out there, you know, it could come from anywhere. How are you going to stop it? So that’s kind of where the world is evolved to now.

So the restriction that’s coming on the production side and you mentioned the “condom” thing; is that California specific?

Yeah, because no one makes porn in other parts of the US legally. I believe there’s some place in New Hampshire where it’s still legal. It’s not legal anywhere in Florida, yet there is a thriving Florida porn business.

All right. When you were sort of into BDSM but not really doing any photography yet, was there a scene or a community?

No, there was no scene, there was no community, there was nothing until the Internet came along unless you were male, gay, and lived in West Hollywood and would have happened to be connected to the right people that knew where the right underground clubs were. And that was about all that there was for many, many years. It wasn’t until maybe the early ’90s that the first night clubs for straight people started to have a little bit of BDSM stuff in there. They would have someone like Sir Nik come in with bullwhips or whatever…that was very daring in those days.

So how did you meet people…to play with or to have D/s relationships with before then?

I’m a special case. All I ever had to do to meet women is either answer my phone or answer my door. At the age of 23 I became the Penthouse photographer shooting the centerfold then after that I spent 11 years with Playboy doing that. There has been a non-stop parade of some of the world’s most beautiful and erotic women. Did I say neurotic or erotic? …Well, it’s a typographical choice there. Anyway, like I said I was a special case. Having a studio on Melrose Avenue in Hollywood during the ’60s, the ’70s was an amazing time. There was great social upheavals happening and most of the people involved in all of this lived in the neighborhood and they could hardly wait to come in and take their clothes off and fuck on camera. But it wasn’t BDSM. I’m not even sure they even knew the words BDSM. There were some kinky girls who liked to get spanked, there were some kinky guys who liked to spank girls, that was about it. In regards to bondage, that was something that maybe you read about in a foreign publication that was smuggled into the United States. It really wasn’t until the Internet when people could go on and see what the Japanese would do with rope. And that was a big eye-opener. You know, basically what it said to guys is, “Wow, if I buy some rope, girls want to get naked and I can touch them.” There was a lot of that, kind of…and there still is around the peripherals of it. I think that it required certain amounts of a broad scale mainstream exposure to little elements of it here or there that peaked people’s interests. You cannot discount some of the costumes and music videos and other media that would pick up symbolic concepts from the BDSM world and then throw it out to their vanilla audience. So, I think that’s been very helpful.

So how did you learn the technical skills of BDSM like rope tying for example, to turn into your shoots?

Well, I have a friend, Ira Levine otherwise known as Ernest Greene, and in the early ’90s he was making a lot of bondage films. And one day he calls up and he is in the neighborhood and he has with him a girl who is a direct descendant of the man that is credited for inventing photography. Her name is, her last name is Daguerre, as in Daguerre types. Cindy Daguerre. So he brought her over and I have some time, and I had a backdrop set up. So he starts tying her up and I start taking pictures and that was cool and I gave him some prints and gave her some and it was fun. Then over the next two or three or four years periodically he’d come by and bring girls. I’d find girls, he’d come over and we worked a lot together and he is a true master of technique of those days. I specify of those days, because times change, there’s different things now. Not to say that he hasn’t mastered all of those things, too. But at that time that was the best you could get, so he was actually making a living, doing that. It was a period of about maybe three years we worked together, then one day I get this job from the Japanese to do a book for them. They liked the book, they gave me another book, they sent out their art director. The art director is in the studio, he speaks hardly any English, I speak hardly any Japanese and he comes across some of the bondage pictures that I have done with Ira and some of his girls. And makes a phone call to Japan. They call me back 20 minutes later, “Would you like to do a bondage book for us?” My first initial response was, “No.” Because first of all there was no bondage scene in the United States at that time and that stuff was considered not only porn but like really weird creepiness. No one understood; there was no exposure to that stuff at that time. And they kept bugging me about it, I kept thinking about it, then one night I came up with an idea. I called them and I said, “Okay, here’s my idea. You send me Japan’s greatest bondage master, I will find America’s greatest bondage master, we’ll put the two of them together, I’ll get a bunch of great looking girls, we’ll get some fabulous American locations and we’ll shoot a book.” And they went for it. So for ten days I had Ira and I had this guy from Japan tying up girls. Well, I’m photographing the thing and it’s like watching two masters do their individual styles. You know you watch one guy do something and you think, “Oh, that’s the way it has to be done.” But you watch two people from two different cultures doing the same thing and you realize there’re really different approaches to it. The Japanese guy came away from that thing, this really is much more like human macramé. It’s art. The American and European approach to it is more of…it’s painful restriction. Even though the Japanese, you know, originally started it for controlling prisoners. Anyway, two totally different things and I have an opportunity to work with him. I’ve been a trained artist all my life and I kind of understand art when I see someone do their art. It’s like, “Okay, I get it.” I have good hand eye coordination, I can do that if I put my mind to it and so I just started doing that at that time.

So, really early on you were photographing other people doing the bondage but presumably now you do a lot of the actual tying?

Oh, yeah. And then bondage now crosses that line in sexuality, which it never did way back when. And so now, you’ll not only tie up a girl but then you’ll tie things to her and you’re touching her and you turn her on and don’t let her out until, you know, the parking meter says it’s time to go, you know [laughs].

That sounds pretty fun.

Yeah. Well, it beats working. It’s a lot of work.[laughs]

So it seems like now we’re kind of enjoying a bit of a renaissance era of kink. There are clubs around the country and there are websites where people can connect with each other and it’s started to become much more accepted in mainstream culture as well. Is that how you see it as well?

Yeah. It’s lost its edge.

Right. But it’s also much more accessible for people, isn’t it?

That’s why it’s lost its edge. You know, it’s like as long as it had to remain closeted then it was something special. But, you know, if the teenagers that live next door and you have already seen Fifty Shades of Grey and are talking about all this stuff and you’re embarrassed because you’re hearing as you’re going through the supermarket, you know, maybe it’s time for some people to like catch up with the times. Things have changed.

And do you think that’s going to continue, as time moves on that it’ll just become something that’s quite normal? People won’t really feel particularly embarrassed.

Normal is different from accepted.

True.

If you were to compare with, for example, gay culture, which is now pretty accepted in many parts of the Western world. And that is something that happened within my lifetime that I never really expected to see much. I grew up in West Hollywood. You know, I always thought that was, rather funny that I grew up to be a centerfold photographer for magazines where I’m supposed to portray the quintessential girl next door. Whereas growing up on King’s Road in West Hollywood the girl next door was a 42 year-old man that wore a dress on the weekend. It’s a little different where I come from.

Right. So, some of the major Fetish porn producers like Intersec and Kink.com and yourself have obviously influenced a lot of the younger generation of kink minded people. Do you see that as being a positive influence?

Absolutely. It’s feeding a hunger, you know, I think that it’s important that people that have aggressiveness get in touch with an understanding what that aggressiveness is and how they can use it, what their options are. Just because you’re aggressive doesn’t mean you should go out and punch someone out but if the only way that you can get off is by punching someone out, find someone who likes to get punched out. It’s that simple, you know, everything has to be negotiated and accommodating to each one. So that’s what the BDSM world is providing outlets to…And, you know, the…I used an extreme example, we’re using physical violence because most of what goes on in BDSM really is more of a power exchange mental thing, you know. If you’re a dominant and you’re with someone who is submissive its nice to be able to let your dominant side come out and vice versa. Whereas we all have the function in polite societies so we can’t always be ourselves.

So out of all the fetish photography work that you’ve done over years, are there any projects that really stand out to you as highlights?

Well, certainly that book project that I did with Ira and Takashi, that was an eye opener, that was a milestone, that was something that I didn’t even understand at the time how important that would be.

I read that a long time ago you created your own light diffusers because nobody was making the kind that you wanted.

Nobody was making any kind. Now that kind of a look had fallen out of fashion for many years and as I was growing up in photography, everything was about sharpness and contrast and that’s just the way everything looked in those days. I always remember this one picture that Ansel Adams showed me that he had shot of some water, some trees, some bushes, sky and it was shot on an 8×10 view camera on a special Kodak soft focus lens. I always remember the way that that looked, it had a very romantic feel to it. It gave more of an impressionistic feel of what you were looking at rather than a clinical linear field. In talking about it with him, he said you know you don’t have to have one of these lenses you know, you can just take a piece of glass and rub some Vaseline over the front of it and put it there and it can do kind of the same thing. So many years later I’m getting ready to shoot my first layout for Penthouse Magazine and I realized all we’ve got is like a couch and a rug and it doesn’t even look that good. What am I gonna do? Well maybe if I diffuse it or blur it out? So I took a skylight filter, screwed it on, a little bit of Vaseline, shot it through this blurry, blurry thing. They loved it, they ran it, double page spread for the opening thing and for the next three years I had layouts, centerfolds, covers, everything in Penthouse Magazine every issue.

So aside from the light diffusion, is there any particular attribute that you would say distinguishes your work in terms of style or mood or content?

Well, no. I mean I have gone through a lot of different technical looks over the years. I think my strongest suit is composition lighting, the technical end of all of that.

How do you find models that are interested in doing BDSM shoots?

I’ve found a number of them on various modeling sites. Like Model Mayhem. I find some on Fetlife. I meet people socially, I get emails from people who are interested and live in other places that are willing to make a trip out here just to do a shoot.

Well I guess it must easier to find BDSM models now than twenty years ago, right.

Than ever before.

What do you look for in models? Presumably you have a lot to choose from.

Well, I would hope that they would be attractive, although sometimes I’ve experienced models that can do incredible things and they’re not your typical kind of of attractiveness. I like people that have a sense of experimentation about themselves, that want to push their limits, that have a sense of show business about themselves too. One of the nice things about living in Southern California, and being in Hollywood, is that you’re surrounded by some of the most talented people on earth. That’s what I find interesting, is that you’re never doing the same thing twice, even though you’re doing the same thing repeatedly because of the human element.

When you’re actually shooting with them, how do you prepare them or work with them to get the best out of them so that they’re presenting their best side?

I direct them. I’m a good director, I pay attention to detail and I share with them during the shoot. A lot of photographers don’t show people what they’re doing. I’ll stop every fifteen, twenty minutes or so, whenever I feel that it’s appropriate. They look at it and they go, “Oh that’s great, but can we do that again, but this time maybe I can point my foot more that way?” That’s where it pays off, you make them part of the creative process.

Are there any other kind of pitfalls for other photographers that might be starting out doing this kind of thing?

Sure, absolutely. Have insurance, absolutely! You’re gonna tie some girl up, you’re gonna run the risk of pinching a nerve or doing some sort of nerve damage that might cost her three months of not being able to work. You’re gonna get sued. Have at least a million dollars worth of insurance.

Do you have any other advice for any aspiring photographers just starting out, in terms of how to go about it?

I think the advice that I would give anybody with photography is have fun with it. Shoot everything, take a million pictures and then please don’t subject your friends to all of them. Do what’s known as editing. Call out the best ones, show a few around, have some fun with it but other than that, unless you’re trying to shoot for magazines or publications that have certain specific criteria that they look for, then don’t worry about it. That’s becoming less and less of an issue anyway because there are less and less print magazines.

If you were starting your own career all over again, would you do anything differently?

I would specialize in food.

Food photography?

Yeah. I did that for a while early in my career, it was the most money I have ever made in photography. It’s a fascinating field; it’s difficult to do. A lot of it’s involving digital manipulations these days but that’s true of anything. Yeah, big products, food, cars, I’m not even sure if architectural photography still pays, but there are large buildings that pay for things. There are still large paying accounts in the world of photography, but would I recommend that anybody go into that business? No.

Well it seems like you’re living the dream, so what’s next for you?

Well, I don’t know. My internet business is becoming increasingly less active than it has been. There are far more players in the business. I’m a one man show. It’s an entirely different kind of thing that I do. I don’t know of anyone else that’s doing this. I don’t know of anyone else that has the kind of operation that I do. I wouldn’t recommend it unless you have a lot of money behind you from something. I worked real hard for a lot of years to be able to afford this. So yeah, I’m living the dream because I’ve built a good solid foundation. That was one of the things that Ansel Adams instilled in me real, real early. He said everyone wants the pyramid but you’ve got to start with that first level. Build the strongest, best foundation that you can. Then as life goes on, you build on that, see where it gets you. Good advice.

Anything else you would like to say to our readers?

Well, let’s see, play nice, don’t steal pictures off the internet and republish them, join websites, think of kink as a religion: spend 15% of your income every month on supporting websites and toy manufacturers.

Ken Marcus is Los Angeles-based photographer specializing in erotica and BDSM for over fifty years. His work has been published in Playboy, Penthouse, and many more. View more information on Ken here: www.kenmarcus.com

Tagged With: erotica, fetish, Ken marcus, photographer, photography, submission

Video: Bound

October 31, 2016 By Matt Rose 5 Comments

Bound from Matt Rose

I was personally touched by the narrative on this video. I believe the speaker perfectly articulates what submission is to a lot of people. Perhaps you can relate to him as well. -anniebear

Tagged With: bdam, dynamic, submission, submissive, video

Practical Slave Positions

September 19, 2016 By Desdemona 2 Comments

Slave positions are standard poses that you can teach your submissive or slave to memorize, to be assumed on command. The exercise of training a submissive in the poses, and punishing and rewarding them based on their successes and failures along the way, can be a fun and bonding play scene for those into domination and submission.

There are as many different slave positions as there are dominants, but below we have outlined 12 of the most popular which you can use as a starting point for training your submissive.

This post contains affiliate links. For more info, see our disclosures here.

Everyone has different needs and physical limitations, so as the Dominant, consider some leniency while your slave is getting used to the different body positions. You may find that one position exacerbates an old injury or perhaps your slave is not flexible enough to achieve another. All of the following examples can be modified or simply removed all together based on your preferences and the limitations of your slave’s body. On the other hand, most can be made more difficult by adding additional elements like wearing high heels while holding the positions.

Position 1 – Present

  • BDSM slave position 1 - present

Present slave position – sitting down on knees, with knees spread wide and hands palm up on thighs.

This position is a great starting point for training your slave in positions.  It’s easy to learn and not too difficult to maintain  However, if the slave is wearing heels or not the most flexible, then this position may become uncomfortable after a while. I like this one as it shows respect and patience in the part of the slave.

Position 2 – Submit

  • BDSM slave position 2 - submit

“Submit” slave position – kneeling forward face down with knees spread and arms stretched in front.

Submit may look familiar, as it is quite similar to “child’s pose” in yoga.  It’s pretty comfortable to remain in for longer periods of time, and puts the slave into a nice downward facing submissive posture.  They won’t be able to see what you’re doing, and the forehead on hands lends itself well to having your slave get into a relaxed state of mind.

A more difficult variation of this position is “grovel”, where the arms are in a box position behind the back (shown in the picture at the top of this article).

Position 3 – Kneel Forward

  • BDSM slave position 3 - kneel forward

“Kneel forward” slave position – straight arms and hips forward from knees

This position is essentially plank pose, but on the knees so a little less intense. When held correctly (with hips forward of knees), it will be challenging to endure for periods. A more difficult variation is “punishment” where the feet are held off the ground (increasing pressure on the knees).

Position 4 – Kneel Back

  • BDSM slave position 4 - kneel back

“Kneel back” slave position – kneeling with knees wide, while leaning back onto straight arms.

Those with tight thigh muscles will find it a challenge to get into this position. It’s a very submissive and aesthetically pleasing position, which provides great access to all of the front of the slave’s body.

Position 5 – Expose

  • BDSM slave position 5 - expose
  • BDSM slave position 5 - expose variation

“Expose” slave position – kneeling with hands behind head and knees spread wide

This position is named very aptly. I could picture sitting a slave in a corner at a public dungeon or play party in this position, for all to see (and have several times in fact).

A variation is to have the slave crouched on feet rather than knees, and the arms can be behind the back rather than over the head (pictured on the right above).

Position 6 – Hands

  • BDSM slave position 6 - hands

“Hands” slave position – arms together held out in front while kneeling down

This position is a test of endurance on the arms. To make more difficult, have them straighten their arms, or add an object like a book to be held (as shown in the picture).

Position 7 – Floor

  • BDSM slave position 7 - floor

“Floor” slave position – lying face down, wrists cross behind back

The slave in this position feels true supplication. They are physically at the lowest level possible, which can be experienced at a very emotional level. The wrists behind the back means the full weight of gravity is felt on the body. This can be made more difficult by having the forehead rest on the floor rather than the cheek.

Position 8 – Apology

  • BDSM slave position 8 - apology

“Apology” slave position – lying face down, forehead down, arms spread wide

The forehead touching the ground ensures the slave cannot see anything happening in the room. The arms spread wide means the slave takes up more space, ensuring they are seen by all in the room. A big statement of obedience and total submission – perfect for a slave that has something to apologize for.

Position 9 – Wait up

  • BDSM slave position 9 - wait up

“Wait up” slave position – standing with legs slightly apart, wrists crossed above the head

It’s like waiting, but with the hands neatly and submissively out of the way in case Master should feel like playing with the slaves tits. And certainly would never be confused with an independent person just casually standing around.

Position 10 – Wait

  • BDSM slave position 10 - wait
  • BDSM slave position 10 - wait variation

“Wait” slave position – standing with legs slightly apart, arms in box position behind the back

More subtle that “Wait up”, this can be a nice default position when waiting on the Master, or when in vanilla settings where it draws less attention that other positions.

A variation is to allow the legs to be only slight apart rather than spread wide, which will be more subtle and more comfortable for longer periods of time.

Position 11 – Spread

  • BDSM slave position 11 - spread

“Spread” slave position – lying down on back, with arms behind back in box position, and legs spread wide

This position coveys total sexual submission. The genitals and breasts are presented and available for the Master’s every whim.

Position 12 – Wheel

  • BDSM slave position 12 - wheel
Slave position training pictures from kinkuniversity.com. Watch the videos here.

“Wheel” slave position – feet slightly apart, back bend supported by the hands

This shares the name of “wheel pose” (also known as upward bow) in yoga. It is the most difficult of these 12 positions to enter and maintain – a true test of strength and endurance. For those slaves who are able to hold this position for their master, the effort will be rewarded by the feeling of complete submission to their Master.


I hope these positions give you some great inspiration for training your submissive in slave positions! Many Dominants come up with their own names and variations on positions, and have their subs / slaves practice and memorize them based on position number, name or both. If you have a unique approach to slave position training, we’d love to hear about it in the comments below!

Writer, photographer, hedonist, Dom. After years of at-home BDSM, Dexx finally embraced the kink community and met many fantastic fellow kinksters in the scene. Along the way, it occurred to him that it would be just super if there was a magazine-style web site which catered to people interested in BDSM, and he recruited some of his friends to help create it.

Tip of the day: Interested in trying shibari rope bondage, either being tied up or learning to tie? Experience shibari in Los Angeles with Lovely Fate.

Tagged With: D/s, dynamic, master, slave, slave positions, slave training, submission, submissive

Symbolic Submission

September 6, 2016 By Baadmaster Leave a Comment

KW-1_045 copy

There is an old saying that “the biggest sexual organ is the one between your ears.” That statement can be updated to state that “the hottest BDSM toy is the one between your ears.” The most important aspects of BDSM are purely mental. Even subspace, while often arrived at by physical means, is a pure cerebral state. (Subspace is a whole other topic, which has been covered, in previous kinkweekly.com articles.)

Since there is such a significant psychological component to D/s, there are many triggers that can reinforce the power exchange – whether in a relationship or in a scene. Many of these “triggers” are symbolic. As opposed to a slave contract or a lifestyle collar, these are often temporary symbols of submission. Temporary or not, these symbols can be very effective in raising the intensity of your power exchange. (I will cover “symbols of Dominance” in a future kinkweekly.com article.)

I have assembled a list of symbolic embellishments that can add to your D/s dynamic. You will likely already be familiar with most of them. However, I would bet that you have overlooked at least a couple that could be useful. Obviously, not all of them are for you. But just thinking about symbolic ways that you can add to the D/s hierarchy is an exercise that will keep your union – or play – fresh. That said, the envelope please!

1. Leash and collar. Just walking your sub around on a leash and a collar reinforces the power disparity between the Dom/me and the submissive. The implications are largely symbolic. Most Doms are not going to walk their sub around 24/7 like a dog. (Although some do!) But, if you add this to your weekend arsenal – or just use it occasionally – you will strengthen the D/s aspects of your life. Leash and collar with a naked submissive at a dungeon party can be a great symbol of Dominance and submission.

2. Writing. Just the simple act of writing “slave,” or even “slut,” on your submissive’s body is a powerful symbolic D/s energizer. If you have not done this, give it a try. A marker and a little imagination can work wonders. It is not for everyone. But it is truly a powerful example of “symbolic submission.”

3. Kneeling. Many high protocol Doms require the slaves to kneel almost all the time they are around them. For the rest of us, this is either impractical or it does not float our boat. But even if you are in a “no-protocol” D/s relationship, requiring your sub to kneel occasionally is a powerful display of D/s.

4. Sir or Ma’am. Even if your protocol does not require you to address your Dominant with “Sir,” “Ma’am” or “Master” – or a similar honorific – all the time, you should try to do if for specified occasions. An evening, a weekend or at a bondage party. It might not seem like a lot, but it does add D/s pizzazz (yes, pizzazz) to your situation.

5. Insertables. Being made to wear an insertable in a vanilla situation can be awesome in terms of “symbolic symbolism.” Wearing a butt plug for even a quick foray into a supermarket can awaken ultra-submissive feelings in any sub. As the saying goes, “Try it, you’ll like it.” No underwear carries similar symbolic implications of submission.

6. Greeting ritual. Even if you have no rituals, try using the greeting ritual – where the sub kneels and kisses the Dominant’s feet – at least once in a while. Watch the effect such a simple symbolic act of deference can have on both the Dom/me and the sub!

7. The play collar. This is obvious; it only bears repeating in that you might overlook it. Going to a play party – or just around the house – wearing a collar is symbolic submission at its most basic level. Although recently, many wear it as a fashion statement; if there is a power exchange meaning behind it, it will work like a magic charm.

8. A baby pacifier. This clearly is only for a select few. But, if your submissive is into humiliation play, making him/her wear a baby pacifier can be incredibly effective. Especially in public.

9. Furniture. Requiring a sub become “furniture” for a short period of time is yet another example of “symbolic submission.” Like the baby pacifier, this is not for everyone. But, for those who wish to make a symbolic statement of their power exchange, this is one way to go.

10. Maid’s uniforms. Cosplay aspects aside, just wearing a maid’s uniform puts the sub into a submissive headspace almost immediately. It also illustrates how symbolism can affect headspace.

As stated earlier, much of dominance and submission is mental. After all, you cannot make anyone submit by physical means if they mentally reject it. Once you accept that D/s and BDSM are cerebral exercises, any symbolism that increases the power exchange is very useful. And any way you can augment “submissive symbolism” will make your relationship – or your scenes — that much more exciting!

By BaadMaster
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Tagged With: psychological play, scene ideas, slave, submission

One bottom’s Trigger is Another’s Therapy

August 29, 2016 By Jenn Masri 1 Comment

cage photo

BDSM play is done for many reasons from the bottom side of the slash. Catharsis, sexual fulfillment, a natural high, or plain old fun. Perhaps as a way to push personal limits and boundaries. Another reason people play is because it can be therapeutic. Either consciously or sub-consciously. Someone might use play in general (as opposed to a specific kind of play) to help them push through anxiety, find “permission” to let out their bottled up emotions, or learn how to trust. Bottoms can also use more specific play to work through past or childhood traumas. Something I see often is when the bottom will recreate a past trauma or pieces of it in their scenes – or simply be “really into that” as a part of their relationships, etc. The difference now being, of course, that they are the ones in control.

For example, a woman is raped with the threat of a knife being used on her and getting held down by her throat. That same woman playing in the scene may create scenes or ask for types of play from her partner(s) that reenacts, if you will, the rape. She may really be into rape play or knife play. Choking or breath play may be something that turns her on. However, now she is in control. Unlike when she was actually raped, she can call red and it all stops. In addition, she may find some healing in that she is experiencing these acts with a trusted partner.
On the other hand, take a different woman with the same experience of rape. She could go the opposite direction. For this woman, bottoming in a consensual-non consent, rape, even rough sex scene could be a huge trigger. Knife play of any kind may be a hard limit, as well as choking. Perhaps even having a hand near her throat causes panic and anxiety.

The point of this is that no bottom is the same and you can’t assume that just because many bottoms enjoy a type of play that all, or even most, of them do. This takes me back to talking about consent and why it’s imperative you don’t start play without it. I’ve seen a D-type walk up to a bottom and grab them by the hair. What if that bottom had the experience I described above and hair pulling had been a part of her abuse/trauma and now is a major trigger?

If something causes you to panic please don’t continue to do it and try to find someone to talk to. However, if a type of play, or play in general, seems to be helping you process trauma or abuse you have suffered or gives you a sense of empowerment then, by all means, I say do it. Just make sure it’s with people you trust. If it’s on that conscience level then maybe even talk to them about why you enjoy that type of play. If you have a therapist talk about it. Combining the play with communication is even more powerful than either alone.

Jennifer Masri is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, specializing in Alternative Lifestyles for individual and relationship issues. She also teaches the BDSM 101 class series at Sanctuary LAX in Los Angeles every Monday evening. Read more about Jennifer on her blog, A Kink Shrink.

Tagged With: aftercare, psychology, scene, submission

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