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Pet Play: A Simple Life

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***All pieces of erotica are fictional. We NEVER condone anything is not safe, ethical, and/or consensual

They sit in the franchise coffee shop sipping steaming beverages from oversize mugs, non-descript men, and women. She’s scrolling through her phone. He is cradling his head in his hand and reading a document. He scribbled on the page, and she sat forward to respond to him. No PDA, but you knew they were together. “It is as we discussed. Let me know if we need to change anything,” she said matter of factly as she returned to her original position.

In calligraphy across the page was Contract of Submission: Owner/pup. Their pet names of Mistress Victoria and Kevin the worm and April 19, 2021, were the qualifying details.

The first section was grooming and health. The puppy was to inform Master if he ever felt unwell. He would wear a collar and home and a leather bracelet in public. Puppy is to present a clean bill of health, including STI screening before play. 

Owner’s responsibilities

Pup will receive care and attention for his needs. Pet will be watered, walked, and fed, every day. Toys will be provided when the Owner is not available. Pet training and play is 24/ 7 from Friday at 6 to Sunday at 9 pm in the Owner’s home. 

Pet will be permitted on the furniture with Owner’s permission. Otherwise, his dog bed or kennel. 

Rewards are at Owner’s discretion.

Play will include games like tug of war and wrestling, as well as paddling in the pool. Discipline and punishment may happen during training sessions. The water gun or rolled-up newspaper will be used to draw attention to poor pet habits. All attention will be withdrawn for severe misbehaviour, and Pup will spend no less than 2 hours in his cage without lights or entertainment.

Pet agrees:

He will learn to fetch, heel, beg, do tricks and lay at the Owner’s feet.

He will wear a collar and lead during sessions and be restrained safely.

Pup will use the human toilet and bath regularly. Pup will ask permission to use the toilet by heeling on the right side of the bathroom door and on the left side for bathing and hygiene. 

If it is an emergency, the Pup has permission to bark and call attention to his urgent need.

Pup will sleep in his dog run and have his blankets. Occasionally, the dog may be permitted to sleep in Mistress’s room on the floor.

Safewords and a triple clap or tapping stops play immediately.

The terms of the contract will be revisited every three months.

He raised his eyes to meet hers, smiled and signed to document. He slid the paper across the table and waited. She signed it and put it in an envelope. He reached for her hand, but she pulled it away. He whimpered and bowed his head. This 6-foot broad-shouldered rogue of man had the body posture of a naughty schoolboy. He sat silently and focused on this oversized coffee mug. She texted and paid little mind to him. She gets up, touches the top of his head and speaks softly close to his face before she goes to the bathroom. The intensity of the communication was palpable. You could feel his sadness and her displeasure. He finished his drink and was waiting by the door, like a dog awaiting the arrival of his Master. He held the door, and she walkthrough. They wandered towards the far end of the parking, in no particular hurry, despite to cold wind. As they walked, she reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. He seemed to perk up and stand a little taller as they made their way to a giant black SUV. She drove a black escalade with tinted windows. As they approached it, he helped her in and then sat in the back seat. It was difficult to see through the tinted windows, but it was apparent that he was getting a tongue lashing.

They arrived back at the house. She opened the door and let him go in first. Once inside, they put coats on hooks. He continued to undress and placed his clothes in a box at the bottom of the closet. He put black fuzzy mitts on his hands and feet before he got down on all fours. She took a choke chain and heavy metal lead from a hook and placed it around his neck. He raised his head to ease the process but did not move.

“Good, boy, walk on,” she went ahead of him and went to the kitchen. Pup picked up his lead with his mouth and made his way to the kitchen after his Master. He moved on all fours in a practiced manner, his feet were up off the ground, and his knees provide the much need traction on the shiny floor. In the kitchen, he sat near the sink and watched as she began supper prep. She gathered the ingredients and started to chop vegetables. He moved to her side and nudged her thigh with his head, not looking up. She pushed him off but did not make eye contact. All the vegetables were dumped in a colander, rinsed and ready to be cooked. He put his paws up on the counter and yelped—his chain rattling and scraping across the floor.

“Get down, mister,” she said, turning off the water. He did not move and tossed his head towards the vegetable. “Yes, you will get your dinner, now get down” she smiled at his playful, fun-loving nature. She tossed a piece of broccoli along the counter, and he gobbled it down. He went to his water bowl and lapped up some water. Satisfied with the attention, he wanders into the living room to sit on his dog bed.

Cooking smells soon draw Pup’s attention back to the kitchen. Mistress is putting chunks of chicken and vegetables in his food bowl, and for a treat, she tops it with crispy Chinese noodles. Pup bounds in on all fours, this time, he is on his slippered feet, and his hands struggle to not lose his balance. Mistress laughs at the comedy of his movement. He is delighted with her laughter and continues to wave his bottom and toss his head about. After a good laugh, Mistress tells Pup to settle down and eat his dinner. Pup crouches down and eats slowly, careful not to choke. Mistress checks in before she sits at the counter and uses chopsticks to eat her dinner. She scrolls on her phone and replies to messages. As she rinses the dishes and loads, the dishwasher pup watches everything; she does but stays out of her way. As she pours a glass of wine, she hears a yip. He is no longer in the kitchen; he is in front of the bathroom door. Holding his lead in his mouth.

As she removes the leash, she says, “Now, is that the right or left side of the door?” Pup looks confused.

“Potty is the right side of the door, don’t forget.” He bounds to the right side of the door and crouches as if to heel. “Ok, next time, I will remind you with the newspaper.” He bobs his head in understanding and closes the bathroom door behind him.

Mistress leaves her wine in the living room and goes to her room to change out of her business close. It has been a long week. When she comes out of her closet, Pup is on the bed and bouncing around, wanting to play. When he sees her, he freezes and holds eye contact. Flinching to invite Mistress to play. He knows he’s not supposed to be on the bed, but it’s fun to play on the bed. He bounces and motions for her to join him. When she approaches the bed, he comes to meet her using his head and should, rubbing against her hip and stomach, waiting for the attention he so deeply craves. She tussles his hair and strokes down his back. Pup slows and presses himself close to enjoy the closeness. Mistress is very kind and makes him feel special. He can’t contain his excitement and jumps up on her, so she falls on the bed. They wrestle and have playtime until the Pup is tired and lies down.

“Alright, off the bed, let’s go watch a show. How about a game show or a movie, no reality TV?” Pup barks and nods his head in approval. He gets down and makes his way to the living room. Mistress straightens the bed and goes looking for her wine. For the remainder of the night, she watches Tv and drinks wine while he lies close to her feet, content and happy in her company.

Fear, Trust, and Finding Your Rhythm As A Top/Dominant

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Fear is a healthy reaction to the unknown. The right amount keeps us form going overboard. Too much keeps us from experiencing things, and we miss out. It does not matter if it is stepping on a roller coaster, getting in the car for the NASCAR experience, performing a caning, or rigging your first suspension. Fear is the dividing line between what we can do now, and what we can achieve.

Regular posts from bottoms/submissives appear on the boards asking how to help their tops/dominants get over the anxiety of causing pain and potential injury. Sometimes posts from new tops/dominants, asking for help so they can give their submissive what is needed or desired. Fear holds those dominants back. Fear of themselves, fear of causing harm, uncertainty in skill, and possibly not understanding trust during play, not just the dynamic, is a two-way street.

Trust in a Scene is a Two-Way Street

One of the tallest mountains a top/dominant can climb, is learning how to trust their bottom/submissive during a scene. Sure, we trust them to say when they are having a hard day, not hiding medical problems, or if they are not in good head space. That kind of trust is easier to understand because we have been practicing it our whole lives. That of a good partnership and friend. In play the bottom/submissive is placing their safety and possibly life in the top’s/dominant’s hands, and they are asking us to let go. To give in to some of our baser instincts which society has trained out of us. To be demanding, to be rough; not just to give, but to TAKE. It can be, and is, awe inspiring and overwhelming all in the same breath.

Learning to trust the bottom/submissive to say when too much, is too much. Pain does not always mean harm, injury, or lasting damage. Some bottoms/submissives crave pain, others may like it mixed in with sensual play. You may be a top/dominant who enjoys delivering pain. Let your submissive help guide you on what works and what does not for them. Take your time to study and learn from others how to play safely without causing harm. All the aforementioned cannot come just from the top/dominant, a book, or even a mentor – but must include communication with and information gained from our bottom/submissive.

Fear is about Me…..not We. Changing Mindset.

Being stuck in the mindset of fear, is all about the individual, not the partnership. The ego saying the top/dominant is supposed to know better, supposed to have all the answers, must make all the decisions. Which leads to, “I am afraid of…… I don’t know how…. I don’t know when… what if I fail,”….etc. versus, “we will experience…. we will find the edges….. we will learn….. together.” Tops/dominants are expected to take on a lot of responsibility, to learn, become proficient, and to lead. The mistake is thinking it can be done in a bubble. Trust your bottom/submissive and their feedback to help shed light where it is hard to see.

“I don’t know my own strength,” or something similar is heard commonly. Expressing a reserve from pushing their own boundaries, let alone that of a bottom/submissive. So what? As tops/dominants we do not need to understand our own strength nearly as much as we do the strength of our bottoms/submissives. Work with them so you know if you can go harder or need to be softer. Physically and mentally.

Finding the mindset to balance the fear is a must. The place in the mind which allows acceptance of the bottom’s/submisssive’s trust and trusting them in return. Leveraging that trust to move past the abstract chains keeping a top/dominant from walking forward into the unknown. Embrace the uncertainty as it will always be there to one degree or another. But lean on trust so experiences are not missed, and the desires of both partners can be fulfilled. To learn as tops/dominants, we are not doing something TO our submissive, we are experiencing something WITH them. We are not causing pain, but delivering sensation which is desired and even craved.

Don’t Just Guess

“I’m not sure what to do….,” Ask. Ask your submissive what they are willing to try. Use imagination when designing play. Trust that when a submissive says, yes, they mean it. Whether subscribing to SSC, RACK, PRICK or the half dozen other paradigms regarding safety in play, having faith in each other, communication and consent are at the heart of all of them. Take time to thoroughly research a kink or aspect of play together before doing it. When the research is done, plans are made, and consent has been given…. accept bottoms/submissives have their own minds, and are making a decision to TRUST you…..so trust them.

“They want me to really go rough with them, but I’m afraid of hurting them…,” Well they are not, or they would not be asking for it. They may want the rush of adrenaline and the high which comes from play. The deep bond which can come from enduring and feeling in ways not normally felt. It can be done without damaging them or causing serious injury. It takes time, practice, research, patience, and seeking their feedback.

Have a Process

When I work with a new bottom or submissive, even if they are experienced, I take it slowly. Everything is discussed beforehand. Not just about the play itself, but what implements will be used; how I will be communicating with them; warning signs and signals; safe words; where the first aid kit will be located etc.

Warming up in the scene; checking in with them throughout asking where their comfort level is; 1 to 10. Watching how they act and react to different implements, how they are used, or different strikes on parts of their body. Both of us learning each other as we go. We do not have to know it all right out of the gate. We do need to have a plan, be focused, and pay attention.

After the scene, sometimes the next day, I will recap the scene with them; ask them what they did and did not like; what went well and what did not; If something was too much or too little; is something they want more of. The point being, with someone new, or as a new top/dominant, we have not learned to read our bottom/submissive yet. This is an opportunity to gain their input and learn.

As time progresses and with becoming more experienced, we will be able to read body language better and see the cues the bottom/submissive gives. Patience, practice, and listening to the bottom/submissive will help get a us to where we need to be. This does not take the place of good communication, but augments it allowing the scene to be more organic.

Finding a Rhythm

“I really like flogging, but am I doing it right?” Whatever it is, it rarely gets done right the first time, or even the first ten times. I can cane one submissive one way….. and for another it just does not work for them. It is as much art as it is science. The physical techniques will only get you part of the way. Learning what works for you and a particular bottom/submissive is the art. Some require a soft warm up, others prefer a hard shock to get them focused before warming and building into play. This is a process which requires the participation of both the parties. Don’t be afraid to experiment WITH them.

If you stick with it long enough you will learn your bottom/submissive. Just like playing poker, everyone has tells. Reading them becomes part of that experience. Eventually play/scenes become a dance where only the two of you can hear and understand the music. Talking through things is still important, but you will find the rhythm between the two of you that works.

Putting it All Together

Learning yourself and your bottom/submissive; learning more about the kinks that are of interest; and learning to let go of the fear. These become part of the building blocks for you to begin letting go and truly trusting your partner.

Trust is the daylight which pushes back the boundaries of fear. Trust in your bottom/submissive will pay off in your own self confidence because it frees you to be who you are. It is ok to be anxious when pushing forward into unknown territory. Just realize you are not doing it alone, but with your partner. Trust them, and they will trust you.

TAC is a lifestyle writer, dominant, and mentor who contributes to several online educational groups such as the BDSM Alternative Lifestyle Discussion and Education; Information Exchange for Dom/mes, Masters, and Mistresses; and the Virtual Munch. His writing includes information on self-improvement, growth, dominance, trauma, power dynamics and power exchange, and safety. His goal is to continue giving back to a community of friends who have supported him for nearly three decades. He can be found on Fetlife at TAC_1.

How To Show Off Your Submissive

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By now, most of us are tired of the covid world we are living in. And this is especially true in the BDSM world of closed dungeons, social distancing, mask wearing and “this will be over soon” media pronouncements. Well, I have good news for you. From now on, I will be “writing for the future” with little pandemic pandering. With this in mind, this week’s question is about exhibitionism – a BDSM activity that really took a huge hit in this frustrating world but will soon be making a “comeback”. And since these questions come from my “query vault,” I can pick those that address tomorrow’s issues, not today’s. Can I hear some applause?! So, here is the question:

Reader: I love to show-off my slave, and I really like being kinky in public. I’d like to explore new ways to enjoy D/s with an audience. Do you have any suggestions?

Exhibitionism can be divided into two categories. The first one is what I call “controlled” exhibitionism. Here you show off your slave to your own group of fellow BDSM pervs. Typically, this is done at play parties, usually in private homes or at members-only dungeons – such as the legendary Lair de Sade in Los Angeles. There are clubs of this type in many major U.S. cities. This is probably the easiest and safest way to explore your interest in exhibitionism in a controlled environment. For not only is there a built-in audience, but there is also no worry about “pain-in-the-ass innocent bystanders.” (A quote for the Godfather fans among you.) These clubs usually have many stations with BDSM equipment and even stages for you to show off your slave. You can get as kinky as the house rules – and local laws – allow. And your exhibitionism does not have to involve scening. Outrageous states of undress are embraced here. So if you want your slave half naked, three quarters naked or totally naked, by all mean go for it! As every good exhibitionist needs voyeurs to enjoy the show, where better to find a group of voyeurs than at a dungeon party? The beauty is that here you can start slowly and learn about your slave and what type of exhibitionism turns both of you on. Do you like your slave in fetish clothes, various states of undress, or led around by a collar and chain? Do you like to torture your slave in public? What does your slave enjoy or detest? The dungeon gives you a great environment to experiment, replete with an appreciative audience. You can also get great ideas from fellow showoffs here – which will improve your exhibitionist skills. All in a safe, user-friendly environment.

The second category of exhibitionism is what I call “public exhibitionism.” Here the audience is the public at large. I think that part of the appeal of this edgy practice comes from its danger. And dangerous it is. Some jurisdictions take “indecent exposure,” as they call it in the legal system, pretty seriously. Fines, jail time and community service can be a consequence of being caught. In this game there are many levels – from beginner to advanced! Quick flashing can be considered an entry-level type of exhibitionism. I would have your slave dress in such a way (if female, no panties under the skirt while kilts work for a male sub) so you conveniently “flash and dash.” (I like that term. It’s a keeper!) Advanced exhibitionism would probably encompass public sex. Here it gets a little risky. It takes planning and keen observational skills to get away with public sex if that is where you want to take this. I personally had public sex at a BDSM social at Sportsman’s Lodge – and it was awesome. Since you say you want an audience, this area of exhibitionism should be approached with utmost caution. If children and policemen just happen to be unwitting witnesses as you have sex in a glass-enclosed elevator, you might have big problems! People into this type of exhibitionism take precautions so as not to get caught. Be careful.

One important omission – your query does not mention your slave’s preferences. You should always take his/her preferences into account before you delve into exhibitionism – whether semi-private or totally public. This ensures a great performance.

Exhibitionism has the widest range of just about any fetish out there. With this in mind, the only boundaries are your imagination and what type of exhibitionism you are into. And, most importantly, let’s not forget to discuss limits here. Your question asks, “I love to show-off my slave, and I really like being kinky in public,” with little mention of your slave’s hard limits. You should be aware of these limits beforehand. If you are combining BDSM play with exhibitionism, safe words and safe signals must be integral to the scene. I’ll be watching!

After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

The Awakening

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***All pieces of erotica are fiction. We NEVER condone anything that is not safe and consensual.

She came to in a bit of a fog. Opening her eyes in the half-light, she reached up idly to scratch her nose, snapping to attention when her hand disobeyed the command and she realized it was bound to her side. She felt the panic attack kind of fear begin to swell and heard a deep voice resonate out of the shadow.

“Well hello, there, little one,” the voice intoned, “here I thought you might sleep the day away.” The bass voice spoke teasingly, with a hint of familiarity, as if he knew her intimately already, faint wisps of a drawl in some of his vowels. She tried to place the voice – surely she’d heard it before somewhere. Surely a man calling her ‘little one’ had to have spoken to her before enough to tickle her memory. Maybe work…the thought began, suddenly evaporating mid-stream as he stepped into the light.

Surely she would have remembered a man such as this. He towered above her, broad shouldered in the half-light, looming over her as she lay in a nest of cushions and blankets. How had she not noticed that either? She was beginning to seriously question her powers of oberservance, given how little she seemed to notice until it was forced upon her. Was she dressed? Panic began its rise again, fading some when she realized she was still dressed in her pajamas. Or, at least they felt like her pajamas, she mentally amended herself, her baseline emotion still complete terror at having woken somewhere other than the bed she fell asleep in.

A large hand reached out as if to touch her securely bound ankle, hesitating for a moment before making some adjustments to her bindings, flicking a rope here and there. She felt her bladder stir and desperately hoped he was arranging for her to use a restroom. She became aware of whatever he was doing, as he began to tug at various ropes connecting her limbs to his hand. He slowly and gently arranged her into a sitting position all without ever touching a finger to her body. She felt like the oddest, most lifelike puppet all of the sudden, and had an odd thought that it must be peaceful to be a puppet, with no bills, no cares, just to be taken out to serve a purpose and then put away. The thought chilled her, and she glanced at her captor nervously. She had not spoken since her awakening, and was afraid to break the still peace with the gutteral utterance of voice.

Manipulating her bindings as if he were an expert puppetmaster, he directed her towards a small room in the corner. She opened her mouth to ask, hesitating when she saw him loop the ropes in his hands across some metal braces on the wall and pass them to himself through an opening at the top of the braces.

“You will use taps to communicate your needs,” he said coldly. The fear in her stomach warned her not to disobey. He pointed to a chart on the wall detailing a system of knocking and stomping designed to indicate basic function. “When my eyes are upon you,” he continued, “you may use head gestures to respond to questions. Is that understood?” She nodded slowly, fear asking her how many others had taken this test and failed, and what might have become of them.

Do You Need to Earn the Right to Submit?

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I hope you have been enjoying Rika’s Lair, my monthly column dedicated to thoughts and experiences  regarding power dynamics in Service-Oriented D/s relationships. Look up “Ms. Rika” in the search box  for links to all of my articles in KinkWeekly!  

I got a note this morning from a dominant friend of mine, sharing the frustrations she, and many  dominant women, have when taking on new subs. Her question was whether subs should have to prove  themselves to be worthy of being allowed to submit, or be put in a position of submission and then  prove their ability within the role. 

From my days in management (outside of D/s dynamics), I can tell you that, most of the time, people  prove their ability to do a higher-level job before they’re assigned to it. It is a much less frequent  practice to give someone a “chance to succeed” at a position. It’s done…but not nearly as often. This is  usually because positions are often coveted and highly competitive and there’s no need to take the risk  associated with having the wrong person in a position of responsibility.  

If I take the analogy back to D/s dynamics, the reasons for qualifying an individual before allowing them  to submit to you, boil down to the risks associated with them not being able to perform as expected.  What are the risks associated with taking a chance on a submissive?  

The risks boil down to the amount of work that will end up on the dominant. The downside puts the  dominant to the task of identifying flaws in the sub’s efforts, determining how to communicate and  correct them, and then following up to make sure the corrections are made. Even worse, they may find  themselves needing to “motivate” the submissive…to create the energy to get them to serve. They can  easily then lose confidence that the submissive will perform other tasks to the level of performance  that’s acceptable and need to make constant judgements regarding whether to trust a submissive with a  particular task, or not. 

As those of you who have read my books and other posts and essays know, I’m a firm believer that  having a submissive makes my life EASIER. If having a submissive makes my life more complicated, gives  me less time to do what I want to do, or forces me to do things I don’t want to do, then something is very wrong. 

My friend brought up the point that often submissives want to be given the position and then be  ‘trained’. The whole “Training” thing is something I’m particularly against. I don’t train my submissives,  but I do educate them. I want them to understand my preferences and expectations and to internalize  them, so that they become their own. When they act, they act in concert with fulfilling those expectations. 

A quick web lookup on the differences between training and educating highlights this well: 

Training refers to an act of inculcating specific skills in a person. Education is all  about gaining theoretical knowledge in the classroom or any institution. Training is a way to develop specific skills, whereas education is a typical system of learning.

I am all for communicating to a submissive and teaching them general terms of how to be my  submissive, but I’m not interested training them like an animal. The skills they need to serve me, they  either come to the table with – or are able to develop based on their understanding of the objective and  their ability to learn. 

So, no…I’m not going to pick a submissive and try to train them to serve me. They’re going to have  opportunity to prove they’re a good learner and have the ability to apply general principles to develop specific skills. 

Does a prospective submissive possess the intelligence, empathy, awareness, self-awareness,  dedication, and energy needed to be good at it? That seems to me to be an awful lot to expect to just  blossom in front of you. Sure, it’s possible – but are you willing to put up with the effort required to  discover it can’t? 

For me, I would rather get to know a prospective submissive before allowing them to submit to me.  During that time, I’m assessing a lot about their personality, their real interests, their ability to be  dominant-centric, and their intelligence. I’m qualifying them to be a submissive, not based on any  particular skill, but rather based on the qualities that make learning happen. Are they going to be a good  student? Are they driven by a passion to serve? Are they going to be able to exhibit the self-control to  maintain their dedication – without burdening me with the need to force, or enforce, it? 

Therefore, from my viewpoint, you don’t get to submit and then prove you can do it. You also don’t  prove you can submit – you exhibit your natural abilities to learn and adapt and you exhibit your internal  desire to serve. You show me why, in particular, you want to serve ME – and not just any woman. Then,  I can feel comfortable with the discussion that leads to your submission. 

I would love to hear your opinions! 

Beanpole’s Humiliation

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Beanpole was over six foot and the palest man I had ever seen. There was something very typical about Beanpole. He had that awkward, geeky look of a full-grown man that had never quite reached the level of cool that he saw himself as in his own mind. He wore heavy framed glasses that were a bit too scratched. He had probably shaved that morning but made little effort to appear polished or desirable to his awaited Doms. Even his body here seemed too uninterested in life to bother to curl around it, laid flat and flaccid like his penis. He really was the beige list most uninteresting person I had never wanted to meet. I knew that someone in the room had to have recommended and okayed his presence for him to be there. Our tight little community protected its secrets and treasured its privacy too much to bring someone in with a question mark above their head. As the auctioneer got Beanpole to the auction block, I had to bite my lip to not laugh out loud. The auctioneer had covered every inch, including his hair in golden glitter. My immediate thought went to the amount of glitter that he would have to explain away when he went home that night. 

He reminded me of a bad high school version of the guy in the Rocky Horror picture show. As he stood on the box, his gangly arms laid in front of his stomach, and his fingers extended in an attempt to cover himself. I seriously questioned what this was going to play out like. Somewhere in the background, music had begun to play again, but it was much less intrusive this time. And I wondered what was in store for our sad, awkward Oscar. 

I had to call him Oscar. Here was a gold statue of a man going to be an object or prize to some of our best Doms. I had played with several of these men but did not know who the cloaked one was. I couldn’t help but wonder how this one was going to play out. As with the previous slaves, the bidding began with a bit of a sales pitch. 

“This sparkling specimen of a man comes with a cock that swells to the most pleasurable size you can possibly imagine. He comes with a request for safe words but no other limits. He asked nothing except to be the pleasure doll of someone here this evening.” With the mention of the word doll, I could see Oscar’s penis. The auctioneer used his cane to tap Oscar’s hands away and display the semi-erect cock, which was now nearly double in size but not completely erect. The auctioneer wanted everybody aware of what was on offer. He grabbed the last slave for the evening, a female and forced her in front of Oscar. Without a word, she understood what she was to do.  Her presence Made it very obvious that he would be brought to full attention before the auction began. The auctioneer held the female’s hair back so that everyone got a clear view of the growing member and her exemplary sucking, licking and teasing technique. I could feel my own *** begin to swell as I watched this luscious display of sensual engagement. The Doms slowly gathered around, inspecting the female’s technique and the response that Oscar could not control. Within a few short minutes, the flaccid penis was now a thick 9 inch, deep Crimson pulsating cock. 

“That’s enough now- starts the bidding!” called one of the Doms. Obviously, the Doms had done a little bit of talking about who wanted what because almost immediately, KennyD tapped the cloaked D and came back and sat next to me. The other two stayed put, circling and touching our Golden statue. The girl was permitted to move from Oscar and assume her position back against the wall. Two of the Doms fondled his balls, tweaked his nipples, and his bottom to see what sort of reaction they would get. Ask her winced at the ball squeeze made no noise after the nipple tweak or attention to his backside.  The two slowly circled and played with the offering without making eye contact or considering the third Dom. 

“If you are entirely done with your inspection, I would like to start the bidding at $200. As you can see, this glittering specimen will reward you with a willing mouth and exemplary member. His references are all too delighted to say never touch a book by its cover. 

The first D obsessed with Oscar’s bottom gave the nod to accept the 200. The other used a leather tongue to tap the erect **** and watch for a reaction. When Oscar barely grimaced pickle Dee said, “I figure he might be worth 3.”

The two men I’d each other and volleyed the bid back and forth in $25 increments until the price was $500. Both hesitated at 500 when the cloaked D simply said 750 final offer! To my surprise, it was a female voice under the cloak that still had not revealed itself. 

The auctioneer said nothing but made direct eye contact with the other two bidders. They both smiled, bowed their heads and took a step back from the bidding circle. “Sold for $750 1 Golden statue requiring only safe words.“ The cloaked D clipped a lead onto her gold-coloured slave and promptly led him upstairs. As they went upstairs, the other 3Doms gathered in the basement’s far end and engaged in conversation. The slaves that had been auctioned were near the sofa recovered and cared for after their adventures. Still on display, kneeling with their hand on their knees and their collars attached to the wall by a relatively heavy-looking chain. Both had their eyes down and almost looked like they were sleeping.

When Oscar and his master returned, she was wearing a white tank top leather vest and a pair of loose-fitting jeans. She had a crop and a tongue clipped to one of her belt loops. Oscar had been wholly transformed into the prettiest ugly Sissy I had ever seen.  As they decent the stairs, CloakD yanked to force a stumble by the slave. He teetered in a pair of red patent peek-a-boo heels. Black fishnet stockings, a pink corset,  a pair of ill-fitted pink lace panties that left his cock protruding out the side and barely contained his balls. A sheer wrap dress didn’t really provide the illusion of a complete outfit. The entire look made me uncomfortable, and my gut twisted as I watched him struggle to walk in the heels down the stairs. A blonde curly wig, deep red lips stopped me cold.  The whole look had been exaggerated and make-up that was heavy and hurriedly applied. In all honesty, the make-up looked like melted crayons.  I didn’t even need to look around the room to gauge others’ reactions. Giant belly laughs erupted from the Dom group as Oscar came into full view in all of his feminine glory. Cloak D took two steps up. She was now as tall as the shimmering Beanpole.  Mistress tossed some sort of MP3 at the auctioneer and asked him to play the third track on the first list. 

“This evening, our darling Sissy slut is going to entertain you with a little bit of a dance before we begin the festivities. Feel free to encourage her to share her feminine wiles and seduce all those worthy of her sad existence. This week’s sad excuse over human is so useless and unworthy that he must pretend to be a woman to even be worthy of being in my presence.” As she spoke, she had removed the crop from her belt and wiggled it under the dress so that she could smack his semi-erect member until he attempted to pull away. 

As she used the crop, the conversation and laughter continued at the far edge of the basement. Cloak D asked Sissy if he liked the attention she was giving his pathetic cock. He nodded and grumbled some sort of affirmation. When he mumbled, she quickly drew a hand full force across his face and admonished him for his discourteous response. He immediately spoke up, apologized and thanked her for the correction. 

As our Sissy was led to where the auction block stood, he was told to get on his knees and move the box with his face. Sissy awkwardly used his forehead and chin to maneuver the box up and over to the edge of the room. The entire time, Cloak D taunted and remarked about his lack of grace. She smacked and  tapped his balls from between his legs, ensuring he was thoroughly mortified by the exposure and the lack of elegance. After moving the box, he returned to the room’s centre, staying on all fours with his head bowed. Using a cane that had been leaning next to the unauctioned slave, Cloak D used a variety of smacks and taps to bring Sissy Oscar to his full height. Wobbling and trying to stand elegantly, the Sissy was crimson with embarrassment and completely erect. 

His thumping engorged member brought the humiliation to a new level as Cloak D unleashed a string of insults. She explained how he was the weaker sex,  men’s inability to create and sustain life like a woman.  Pathetically using fear and brute strength to keep women down. Moreover, men could serve no real purpose beyond being sperm donors. She finished with a tirade about how men could do nothing in life without their mothers, lovers, and wives showing them the way. She then directed the Sissy to dance and show her worthiness to be in the presence of others.  She was to pay homage to women and demonstrate her feminine side to deem herself acceptable as a vessel for discipline time and attention from Cloak D. 

With a flick of the head, the auctioneer started the music. Cloak D undid the leash and pointed to where Sissy was to dance. Sissy began the humiliating process of demonstrating his feminine Wilds with knees bent and arms awkwardly moving in snake-like circles. Tears filled his eyes as a Boo was heard from the shadows. Cloak D admonished her Sissy for a poor showing. Cloak D stepped forward and immediately brought the Sissy to its knees in front of her. The DS tone was calm and forceful. She offered this Sissy one final chance to demonstrate worthiness by beginning a striptease. Sissy Oscar thanked the D for the opportunity and asked permission to kiss her feet. Permission was granted as we all watched the humiliation of this man. He was genuinely grateful for the chance to make things right for his master. The song had ended by this time as she asked the auctioneer to start it again. This time Mistress stepped back and said nothing until the music began when she acknowledged his existence by saying, don’t disappoint me. 

This time Sissy Oscar closed his eyes, rolled his shoulders, sang along to the lyrics and slowly removed his dress. With the final move laying the dress at the feet of his D. As the song ended, he continued to slowly gyrate and caress his own body, bending forward slowly, removing the panties and exposing his ass to the room. Where for the first time, we could see a large blue gem had been placed. He stepped out of the panties, opened his legs and brought his ass up and down from the floor. Proud and humbled by the opportunity to represent his master when he finished, he knelt on the floor with his hands in front of him, waiting for commands.  His floor work would have made any stripper proud. His ass was indeed his money makers. He bounced and shook his ass to the music, momentarily forgetting who and what he was. By the time the song’s intense bass had died down and bled into the next one, Beanpole had transformed into Oscar, the Sissy. He didn’t look for the approval of his moves. His erect penis had moved to the music as he sensually touched himself, knowing he was on complete display for everyone to see.

When the second song stopped, Cloak D walked forward, Oscar dropped to his knees and knelt forward.   Master stepped on his fingers and simply stated that wasn’t so bad. Go wait against the wall with the others. There would be no sexual satisfaction for Golden Oscar, just further humiliation as the night went on. 

Online BDSM Dynamics

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Over the years, sexting and cybersex have definitively become a thing, as they offer a sense of anonymity otherwise not found in a face-to-face conversation. This allows people to open up faster, enhancing the feeling of emotional closeness to the person they’re interacting with, and strengthening the mental bond to the other person. This bond can be a very real thing to the one who feels it.

It can be difficult to find kink-related social events outside of the internet. If you’re into anything considered socially taboo, or something not discussed in polite society, you might find it rather difficult to bring up kink-related things, or your involvement in them, over a drink with a near-stranger. On the internet, however, you can explore whatever you feel society wouldn’t otherwise allow.

Because of these factors, online BDSM relationships are starting to become a common, as they can allow one to experiment with what they may believe their place in this lifestyle, or explore their sexual psyche, with very low physical risk. It’s not difficult to download an app, or go to website and find someone to eventually establish and explore a temporary, or longer term relationship.

Why Do People Choose to Be in an Online BDSM Dynamic?

A lot of people enter online BDSM dynamics because they live in a community where the BDSM lifestyle has little to no presence. Some people do so because they are in real-life relationships with a vanilla partner that has no inclination of, or interest in, wanting to explore BDSM in any shape or form at all. Some use an online D/s relationship to learn more about Dominance and submission, to see if it’s something that they may be interested in, before getting real-life experience. This isn’t always a good idea, if you don’t make your intentions known before starting, or at the beginning of, the relationship.

Honestly speaking, as long as the Dominant or submissive is fully honest with all of their partners, these types of relationships can be quite successful.

And finally, there are people that enter online BDSM relationships because they’re predators, or just fucking creepy, and want to see what they can get away with before someone calls them on their bullshit. Buuuut I’m trying to stay positive with this article, so… Let’s move on.

Progression in Online BDSM Dynamics

Most online BDSM relationships start out being primarily about mental exploration, without the intimacy of physical contact. For a sustainable relationship, it’s about knowing each other, and developing the trust to explore things within the dynamic.

Power exchange relationships require a lot of focus and attention by both parties, being a process of continual negotiation and adaptation. The Dominant can maintain a feeling of submission, using certain rituals, rules, and the like. The submissive can do their part via dedication and obedience. As in any relationship, imagination, creativity and attention become extremely important here.

A Dominant or submissive who neglects their partner simply because they’re in an online dynamic or long-distance relationship, will find themselves without said partner.

Here are a couple of things to keep in mind:

·         As the mental space in an online dynamic can be an intense thing, there may (read: WILL) be times where you find yourself doubting your relationship. Because of this, you may find yourself wondering things like ‘how real is my partner?’ or ‘how serious am I in my relationship versus my partner?’

·         It can be difficult to shift between your online dynamic and real-file, which can take a toll on you. At the extreme end, it could start to feel like dissociation, where you find yourself feeling like you’re mentally breaking away from your partner. But even if it doesn’t become extremely difficult, it can still feel draining to regularly switch mental states.

With these things said, if you start feeling off at all, you should definitely discuss it with your partner.

Fake Dominants Abound

Earlier I mentioned that there are people that enter online BDSM relationships because they’re just fucking creepy. This is definitely something you want to pay attention to, as you will no doubt attract an absolute onslaught of fake, or wannabe Dominants — especially if you’re newer to this lifestyle. Keep your wits about you, as submissive frenzy is a very real thing, and can land you in a dynamic you’d rather not be in.

In case you were wondering, yes, Dominants can come across fake submissives as well, but it happens far less than it does submissives. In most cases, these so-called submissives are simply kinky people that want to experience just that, kink. They’ve typically no desire to be a submissive, and will prove to be a total waste of your efforts.

To continue, online BDSM relationships can present their own unique sets of challenges — and dangers. While these dangers may be more mental than physical, it doesn’t make them any less risky.

For example:

·         How would submissive rebound, also known as sub-drop, be handled online?

·         How would anything disciplinary be handled online?

·         Do you really know anything about your online partner at all?

   Knowing their family history and other intimate information isn’t really an immediately important thing (it can be over time, if your relationship progresses in that direction). However, knowing certain things about their past relationships, the length of time they’ve been part of this lifestyle, knowledge-base etc.

·         Is your online dynamic simply a form of escape from your everyday life, or does the relationship have more meaning than that?

·         Could your partner potentially have mental health issues?

 If so, is it something you can be supportive of, or is it something potentially dangerous to you?

From what I’ve found over the years, a lot of the people who would rather be in an online BDSM dynamic either don’t have access to public spaces or communities, or have had identity issues in regards to self and social acceptance, leaving no other choice for them except to explore these parts of their identities online.

When Disaster Strikes…

Online relationships can be intense, and becoming highly connected to someone who’s not physically there is a very real thing. However, when conflict happens, the stability of that connection begins to fall apart. It can suddenly seem to switch off, like a light, and everything can begin to feel like hard work, with the technological tools we initially thought so efficient, appearing to become rather ineffective. All the rituals and daily protocols that have been established over time can quickly be broken.

Hopefully this will never happen to you, but if/when it does, it’s important that you have a support system you can rely on. Online relationships can start fast and end even faster. This, of course, can be applied to any online relationship. But online BDSM dynamics can be a particularly intense, and the tough times can be very tough for some.

Now, you might be able to cope with this alone, but it’ll always be a lot easier if you have support. Friends who can listen to, and comfort you, are always going to be the best support. However, if your BDSM relationship is something that you don’t share with your friends, then it might help to have an online community to defer to. FetLife is a good place to start, as the site has groups you can join, and there are groups on Facebook that you can join as well.

Whatever you decide to do, be sure to have someone to talk to in place. Don’t ever isolate yourself — it’s not a good idea.

Online BDSM Dynamics vs Real Life BDSM

An online relationship can indeed feel very real, in my experience. Online interactions deal directly with the mind, and because of this, one can create a mental and emotional bond much faster online. This can also happen with newer submissives that are experiencing submissive frenzy.

But, it’s an important thing to keep the fantasy part of online interactions separated from real life. It can be quite easy to get lost in the fantasy that is invariably part of online BDSM dynamics. It’s equally easy (and dangerous) to believe that everything that happens during online sexting or scenes, are an exact replica of what would happen in real life.

For example, just because you’re willing to kneel in an online dynamic, doesn’t mean you can do it in real life. Or just because someone typed that they flogged you, doesn’t mean they’ve the knowledge or experience to actually do it in real life. Anyone can put on a facade of ability, in real life or in an online dynamic. But until it’s actually proven in person, it’s nothing more than that — a facade.

If you have little or no experience with aspects of BDSM in real life, then it’d be rather difficult to discuss how you might react to something. This lack of experience should be made known to your partner. By hiding your lack of experience, you’re setting up both yourself and your partner for some serious hurt. Being yourself, and not creating a fake world or background, is an absolute necessity to make an online BDSM dynamic work.

In Conclusion

As in any relationship, online BDSM dynamics require an active imagination, commitment, honesty, and time from everyone involved. With a bit of effort, an online BDSM dynamic can be a rewarding and enjoyable experience. Keeping these things firmly in mind will make the aforementioned rewards and enjoyment even greater.

Rajan Dominari is an educator, consultant, and author on the subject of BDSM and other relationships. He is the founder of Dominant Desires, a website that focuses primarily on BDSM education and advice, and the author of Welcome to the Darkside: A BDSM Primer.

How Do Submissives “Enjoy” Physical and/or Emotional Discomfort?

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I hope you have been enjoying Rika’s Lair, my monthly column dedicated to thoughts and experiences  regarding power dynamics in Service-Oriented D/s relationships. Look up “Ms. Rika” in the search box  for links to all of my articles in KinkWeekly!  

This entry, I’d like to share some thoughts from a FetLife conversation that revolved around the notion  that submissives “Enjoy” punishment, pain, and denial…and the question of how they deal with doing  something they don’t really enjoy. 

I brought up the point that I’ve shared here in previous columns in Kinkweekly: That feeling compelled  to do (or endure) something you normally wouldn’t, forces the submissive to rationalize why they are  allowing it (or going along with it) …and that the popular rationalization is that they are out of control  and under the command of their partner – that they are “Forced” to accept the discomfort. This serves to build the façade of power that allows both partners to obfuscate the reality of consent and enjoy  their dynamic despite the continued existence of free-will. 

I’ve used this point to argue why punishment isn’t actually the most effective tool in changing behavior  in submissives, since, although the submissive might dislike the punishment itself, they crave the  concept that their partner has the authority to punish them. The more distasteful the punishment, the  greater the perceived authority of the dominant, the more ‘enjoyment’ for the submissive. Obviously  counter-productive to actual behavior modification. 

During the conversation, one friend, who goes by the auspicious username of 000-298-237 (his friends  call him ‘7’…jk ) posted an interesting point of view regarding the use of the word ‘enjoyment’. With  his permission, I’m quoting him here: 

“Enjoy” has become a difficult word over the years. There is a great deal that goes  on, no matter the relationship or the context, that isn’t “enjoyable”. I still do things. 

I have pursued the craft of blacksmithing for more than two decades now. There is a  saying “Blacksmithing without burns is like expecting to swim without getting wet.”  I’ve had my share of burns, thankfully, through care and luck I’ve not had any that  required serious medical attention. I did reach the place where I let the burn sizzle so  as to not spoil the weld. (It’s not masochism in such circumstances, trust me.) I  haven’t stopped my smithing due to burns. I do not enjoy burns. Particularly the ones  on the inside of the hand where there is no nursing them if the work needs to continue. I still don’t stop smithing. 

About the same time, I came to hear “swimming without getting wet” I was in about  my third year of chastity with a full belt. (A Goenthals for the curious.) That’s when  “enjoy” started becoming an awkward word. “You must really enjoy chastity to be in  that belt so much.” Most were surprised to hear me say “no”. And later, “‘Enjoy’ has  nothing to do with it, but it’s not a hair shirt, either.” The side that gets little press  about such things is the work of it. It wasn’t discomfort or denial. Even if it had become easy routine, the level of maintenance of belt and body requires dedication  and effort. I’d explain this. 

“But if you don’t enjoy it, why do you do it?” My reasons were several, and several  were my own. It was not completely the whim and insistence of a Superior, and even  when it was it wasn’t about what either of us “enjoyed”. Most of my specific reasons  I don’t care to share here. Really, the specific reasons aren’t germaine. 

“I appreciate it.” 

Changing one word makes a world of difference, at least for me. My world has a lot  of joy in it. My relationships have had a great deal of joy too. Sometimes the greatest joy has come when there was the least to be enjoyed. Maybe it’s age, but even younger I was little moved to do something simply because I might enjoy it.  That’s for decisions like “I think I’ll pick up a candy bar when I stop for gas and milk.  I’ll enjoy the ride home a little more with a candy bar to munch on.” 

There’s much I don’t enjoy in service or submission. There’s much I don’t enjoy about  being a father, or when I was a husband, or sub, or slave, or employee, or employer.  I’ve appreciated and more than appreciated all of that. My love and appreciation has  not diminished when dealing with dirty diapers or the considerably greater quantities of manure a horse can produce. I can’t say I’ve enjoyed the blood or vomitus or any of the several other less than pleasant substances and experiences of  tending to people who are ill. I still do it. And I appreciate them, and the relationship,  and the circumstances and environment and more. I’m profoundly grateful for them. 

Joy does not mean enjoy. 

I love this last phrase, “Joy does not mean enjoy”. In a nutshell, this is it. We can like the fact that we  do things, even though we don’t like the things we’re doing. The price we pay for joy often comes at the  cost of ‘enjoy’. Submissives derive pleasure from unpleasurable things…it’s not a paradox…it’s a fact of  natural human life. We all have experienced this. 

At the end of the day, power dynamics are just extensions of our other natural desires. There isn’t  anything unique or puzzling about sacrifice for devotion and caring. We can find pleasure in enduring  the unpleasurable. “Love hurts”.  

I found this an interesting perspective and wanted to share it with you. I Hope you find it thought-provoking as well! 

 Ms. Rika is a lifestyle dominant, educator, and author; living in the suburbs of NYC with her  husband/slave. She has written several popular books on her approach to adding Dominant-Centric,  Service-Oriented D/s to relationships. You can find her books (in both print and eBook formats) at  Lulu.com (http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/msrika), or at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, the iStore, Books-A Million, Kobo.com, or anywhere books are sold. Search for “Ms. Rika”.

How To Be A Better Dominant

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Do you identify as a D-type?

Do you want to improve your power exchange relationships?

Do you realize that there’s always room for improvement?

Then, check out this awesome video by Evie Lupine on how to improve your Domming/Dommeing skills!

How to Be a Better Dominant