sex

Spicing Up Poly Relationships

December 19, 2020 By Jennifer McKinnon 2 Comments

poly family, ethical non-monogamy — via stock.adobe.com

It takes two to tango, but with the proper consent and just the right amount of kink, polyamorous relationships may just be one of the best ways to enjoy satisfying sex.

Want to take it to another level? Want a different way to enjoy this type of sexual setup? Here are some hot suggestions to try out!

Role Plays

It all begins in the mind when it comes to sexual satisfaction. And when it comes to multiple partners, communication and chemistry are both equally important in getting that thrill.

Which is why role playing may just be the thing to level up this kink. Fancy being a dom? Talk with your partners on possibly living out this fantasy. Want to play out a particular scene that’s been bugging you ever since? Talk it out with your partners! Have you ever wanted to be someone (or something) when spending time with your partners? Maybe it’s time to plan and make these dreams into reality.

Role playing, when planned and done properly, can bring in a different kind of thrill even before the actual deed. Think of this as a mental form of foreplay—it’s a different approach to having some sexy time with your partners.

Bottom line is, proper and constant communication (which will always be an important trait in polyamorous relationships) is essential to fun and successful role plays. You want not only consent with your partners. Planning the setting (even your individual characters’ personalities) can even be a satisfying act that will make you and your partners look forward to the role play.

Costume Fun

Role plays can be enjoyed in a much more satisfying manner with the use of costumes. The clothes make the man (or woman), and taking off these articles of clothing is just part of some sexy-time fun.

Costumes are essential to getting into a particular character’s or role’s head. This rings true especially if your personality is the total opposite of the role you’re pursuing. Articles of clothing will help you get into the right mindset.

Additionally, certain costumes can be incorporated straight right into the sexual act. Do you dream of being a sub? Perhaps having some leather and straps built into your costume can prove your obedience to your masters.

Do you want to totally play the part of dominating your partners? Perhaps a cock sheath can give you the length, girth, and confidence for a whole new sexual experience. Women may also want to experiment with strap-ons, if the scene calls for a twist or two.

In a way, costumes are more than just clothing to play a certain character. Costumes build up toward a certain sexual goal. These clothes may just be another form of an interesting type of foreplay.

BDSM

Unleash sexual satisfaction among your partners through BDSM. Essentially a higher level of role-playing and costume play, BDSM introduces several forms of erotic enjoyment that you and your partners may seek their kinks from, such as collar play and spanking (there are, actually, a whole lot more).

What makes BDSM acts a higher level of sexual bliss is, ironically, the fact that some plays do not even involve any penetration at all. It’s all about the power play that makes these plays such an orgasmic activity—again, everything begins in the mind when it comes to sexual satisfaction.

An example is suspension bondage. Having your partner (or yourself) strapped and blatantly displayed in their glory requires a high level of trust and consent. The top takes pleasure in tying up partners; subs enjoy being willing toys for their masters to play with.

These displays of power offer an interesting take when it comes to multiple partners, which we’ll expound on below.

Experiment with Group Play

As we’ve mentioned earlier, trust, communication, and consent are important in making polyamorous relationships work. The first three suggestions on spicing up these types of relationships all revolve around open communication.

Now, take everything together, and talk to your partners about doing something fun together. Doing a scene together with multiple partners may be so satisfying, just as long proper consent and rules are set beforehand.

Additionally, this approach may require some experimentation. Going with the group dynamics, would you and your partners be open to LGBTQIA+ setups? How far are you and your partners willing to go with these scenes? Are there any limitations that any one of you would like to discuss?

And this is just why it would be best to sit down and talk with all your partners. You’ll want everyone to know what you want out of these fantasies. You’ll want to be as transparent as possible when it comes to getting really good sex. You want everyone not only to be satisfied but also to be both comfortable and safe with these activities.

Best of all, you’ll want to find out what they think of these kinks you have. Who knows, they may even have better suggestions in mind. The thing is, what you’re after is not only everyone’s consent. Everyone enjoys something if everyone can be true to one another. Now, that is the key to wonderful and hot polyamorous relationships.

Talk It Out

The most important aspect of getting the best sexual kinks from polyamorous relationships is to openly communicate your desires. You won’t get something for nothing. Your fantasies will remain your dreams if you won’t act on them.

Like consent and trust, respect plays an important part when discussing sexual matters with your partners. Your kinks may not be of interest to some, and that is okay. Learn how to listen, and realize that others may have other kinks they want to live out.

When you learn to open up, listen with grace when your partners open up about their interests; you may just find yourself willing to try new things. And isn’t that an exciting way to enjoy sex? Take some time to talk things over with your partners—that just maybe one of the best things you’ll do in your life.

In her 30s and married, Jennifer McKinnon writes mainly on sexual health for the Enhanced Male and other websites. Jennifer’s goal is to promote better sexual awareness by being self-aware and practicing responsible sex.

The Pros And Cons Of Contracts

December 19, 2020 By Ms. Rika 5 Comments

sexy Domme with whip — via stock.adobe.com

I hope you have been enjoying Rika’s Lair, my monthly column dedicated to thoughts and experiences regarding power dynamics in Service-Oriented D/s relationships. Look up “Ms. Rika” in the search box for links to all of my articles in KinkWeekly!

I was recently involved in a conversation regarding the use of Slavery Contracts within a dynamic. I thought it would be an interesting discussion to start here in Rika’s Lair.

Do you need a contract to establish a meaningful power dynamic? Of course not. Will it help? That depends on the people writing the contract; how much clarity they need; how realistic they are in creating it; and what expectations they have in signing it. There are Pros and Cons.

Contracts are, by design, the formalization of an agreement. In order to come to terms in a contract, both parties need to articulate their objectives of that agreement. For a contract to be complete, there are four key elements: Mutual assent (offer, acceptance, and obligation), adequate consideration, capacity, and legality.

That last condition (Legality) creates the first conundrum: There are no LEGAL slavery contracts in most countries around the world today. No matter how much you want to, you can’t sign yourself, legally, into being someone else’s property. It’s not so much the property part, but rather, a contract cannot bind someone into doing something that’s illegal. Slavery is illegal…so, even if you are willing sign yourself away to be someone else’s possession, the paper is meaningless in a court of law. They simply will not recognize that agreement and it will be void. Period.

However, many see value in contracts. The discussion today, therefore, is how can there be value in a contract, when we all know that it’s void and unenforceable?

We’ve already pointed out that legality is not going to happen here and I am assuming people engaging in this type of activity are of legal age and mental state to make the agreement (Capacity / capability) … so what’s left is for the contract to articulate the terms of offer, acceptance, obligation, and consideration.

Power dynamics are, of course, the result of a power-transfer agreement. Power dynamics, in general will benefit from adequate, up-front, descriptions and communications of the terms of the agreement. Both parties need to understand what is being transferred; why; and what obligations the agreement brings.

The Pros

We’ve all seen that the common-known terms thrown about in BDSM and D/s literature are poorly defined and are seldom standardized. What one person means by “Dominance”, “Submission”, “Service”, “Slavery”, “Tasks”, “Reward”, “Punishment”, etc. does not necessarily mean the same thing to another. Anything we can do that aids in this communication and clarification is going to give the agreement a better chance at longevity and fulfillment. When we write, we force our brains to organize our thoughts and to clarify concepts. Using a contract to clarify terms, in detail, will help communications. The obligations and limitations under which each partner is going to operate within the power dynamic needs to be articulated clearly. Even if the contract isn’t legally worth the paper it’s written on, there might be value in helping to communicate the power agreement more clearly.

Another positive aspect of writing a contract, is that they’re really fun to sign. There’s something exciting about drafting the terms of a power dynamic, and putting one’s name on the line. We can visualize images of the scene from “Venus in Furs”, when Wanda guided the hand of Severin as he nervously watched his name appear on their contract. The notion of formalizing the commitment, even if it’s meaningless, is titillating. You can make an event out of the signing, complete with pomp and circumstance, and seal the deal with a random act of kinky fun. There’s benefit to that.

The Cons

There are some downsides to slavery contracts: The first, and most obvious, problem occurs when people try to rely on the contract to enforce their power dynamic. The paper is legally worthless, it’s the commitment that matters. So, pointing to the paper for enforcement doesn’t work. Both parties know the terms are unenforceable. Ultimately, you’re dependent on each other’s mutual commitment to the dynamic. That’s where you need to put your focus – not on some piece of paper.

Other problems occur when people pack so much detail into a contract, that they don’t leave room for any flexibility or spontaneity. In my second book, “Uniquely Us”, I described Sean and Dave’s “The Book” that described, in detail, every interaction they were able to predict and how they agreed to handle it. They had a ceremony signing the contracts and lived by “The Book” for a while. The problem was, situations changed, reality struck, family issues, job issues – tastes changed. The book had to be updated to reflect the changes in their lives. It required too much energy to maintain and The Book eventually fell out of importance. It eventually became a paperweight.

The last problem I see, is that “consideration” can be abused. As those of you who’ve read my books and articles already know, I try to avoid anything that will obligate me as a dominant. My sub’s job is to serve my preferences, not the other way around. It’s not that I don’t fulfill my sub’s preferences (and respect their limits), but I do not want to OBLIGATED by anything other than my natural responsibilities as their partner in our relationship. Contracts require “Consideration” – which technically means something of adequate value given in return for the offer. Therefore, the dominant is obligated by the contract to provide something in return for accepting the sub’s offer of submission. In my opinion, this can offset the imbalance of power – particularly if the sub is requiring things that they want, that don’t serve the dominant.

Conclusion

I generally don’t use contracts in my dynamics – at least ones that are written down. However, I have used them sparingly – and will sometimes recommend them for some of the couples with whom I’ve worked, where I believe it will help. When I do, I recommend a few ground rules:

• First: Don’t take the contract seriously. It’s a great form of communication, use it that way • Don’t think this is a binding agreement. It isn’t

• The process of making the contract is more important than the contract itself. Consider creating it together, even if you don’t sign it, and then throw it away

• Don’t feel that you need to have a legitimately constructed contract. You are starting out knowing that the contract is missing “Legality”; it can miss other aspects of proper construction as well. For example, it doesn’t NEED to have a Consideration section. It does not need to stipulate obligation for the dominant. The contract can be as one-sided as the power transfer

• Lastly: Keep the details at a level that helps the communication, but is also open-ended and flexible. Don’t try to pack EVERYTHING into a contract. After working with me, Dave and Sean re-created a contract (because that worked for them) and it was less than one page long. It simply stated their intents and committed a clear power transfer. It did not require maintenance and still served its purpose. They continue to live by it, today

It’s important to communicate your vision of your dynamic and to assure your partner has a clear understanding of what it entails to you. You might find a contract helpful in communication and clarification of that vision. Also, it might be a fun, kinky, exercise to document your power dynamic and sign it in ceremony; with pomp and circumstance. If you do choose to use a contract, take the commitment to each other that it documents seriously, but the contract itself is just a communication tool – don’t make it the center of importance.

Ms. Rika is a lifestyle dominant, educator, and author; living in the suburbs of NYC with her husband/slave. She has written several popular books on her approach to adding Dominant-Centric, Service-Oriented D/s to relationships. You can find her books (in both print and eBook formats) at Lulu.com (http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/msrika), or at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, the iStore, Books-A Million, Kobo.com, or anywhere books are sold. Search for “Ms. Rika”. Write to me at Ms_Rika@hotmail.com

This week in kink news: December 21, 2020

December 19, 2020 By Desdemona 3 Comments

BDSM has been featured more and more in mainstream media over the years.

There are pros and cons to this depending on how kink is being portrayed.

This week Victoria Myerscough sheds some light on the normalisation of kink in the media.

Click below to learn more!

The Normalisation of BDSM on Film & TV

Curious about bondage, but don’t know where to begin?

Then, you’ve come to the right place!

This week woman&home gives us the skinny on everything bound!

Click below to find out more!

Want to spice up your home with some sexy furniture?

Then, check out this comprehensive guide that is sure to help give you and your partner(s) the scenes of your dreams!

Click below to read more from healthline!

Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”

Low Protocol And Power Exchange

December 12, 2020 By Christmas Bunny 2 Comments

good girl on her knees, submissive — via stock.adobe.com

It began in baby steps. Our dynamic was very much an experiment, with each movement forward and each step of the way tested before the full weight of the relationship was brought to bear upon it.

It was a scary amount of power to give up. I came into the relationship a business owner, and began a second venture about a year in. Handing the metaphorical reins over to another when my hard work of years was on the line was a truly terrifying thing to even contemplate. It came part and parcel of our TPE, however, and I had to trust that he would allow me to continue to make decisions without his interference.

Part of owning a business is having to interact with others in various ways, be it as the customer service representative who is discussing a potential order, as the cashier handling payment, as the scheduler booking classes, as the manager attending to someone’s satisfaction, as the artisan building product and providing updates, or in educational capacities, both online and in-person. That’s a lot of hats, and they require a certain amount of freedom of action on my part. It has necessitated trust on his part that I would make decisions and behave in ways of which he would approve without having to have specific protocols in place to govern those actions.

As someone who has grown to become firmly embedded in my local community, I see an incredibly wide variety of levels of protocol. Some are required to ask prior to leaving the presence of their master, some are required to follow protocols which govern their interactions with others in various settings. Perhaps it is a set protocol involving carrying packages or interacting with waitstaff or asking permission prior to speaking and touching friends or strangers within kink settings. Interestingly enough (and this is a conversation I have had with friends on occasion, because many of us are fascinated by the differences in how relationships are built), many of the dynamics I have observed which involve a small business seem to run with a lower degree of formality and protocol, perhaps out of that same necessity.

If I must receive permission to speak to individuals prior to doing so, even ones of specified gender, and my partner is away from our vendor table, I would quickly become ineffective as a merchant. I would be unable to answer questions or complete a sale. The same holds true of online interactions. It would effectively make the business I run hobbled during his regular work hours until he could handle the aspects I was not permitted to attend to without him. That would lead to additional stress, and I ask a great deal of him as my business partner already. While he does make those decisions, he has chosen to leave many of the finer details up to me, limiting the majority of his participation to financial decisions such as inventory purchases, and to customer interactions in order to keep me from using my energy and focus up in those areas rather than in completing projects.

The leaves much of our dynamic very informal, from a protocol standpoint. Fortunately, that works well for our personalities and the way we fit together. While I sometimes feel that our low protocol interactions can be mistaken for a more casual relationship, which can bring with it a feeling of being less than, I remind myself that some of those stares may be from envy for what may appear to be a higher level of freedom.

Make no mistake, however. He holds full authority over me, regardless of the appearance of casualness our low protocol level may give outsiders. It is so important for us all to remember that each relationship, each dynamic forms as it works best for the individuals in question. For some, that may mean there are specific rituals and protocols dictating large portions of their actions. For others, such as us, that total power exchange may rely more on the granted authority of the top-of-slash rather than any formalized behaviors. We all have to determine what works best for us as individuals and as couples or relationship groups, and build from that foundation.

Christmas bunny has been exploring kink since she was legal to do so. Her serious writing started in college, where she accidently got some of her papers published in educational journals. She has recently expanded her writing to include her kink journey. She began writing in the physical realm, but shed some of her inhibitions and began sharing those entries with others. She now keeps an active blog of her personal growth and her relationship with her Master / Daddy Dominant and writes helpful educational posts on a variety of subjects.

Saturday Errands

December 5, 2020 By eve 2 Comments

sexy male Dominant with wooden paddle — via stock.adobe.com

“Dress and a thong, I love summer” was my flirty status update. One of my followers posted a “love” and sent a DM asking where he could see me in a dress. I flicked up a body selfie of the yellow sundress taken for maximum cleavage exposure. My G cups stretched the cotton bodice, the slightest erect nipple was on show. Gawd, I’m so glad lace bras were back in vogue, was my tag line. Padded bras are too warm in summer. I was horny and in the mood for adventure. Sundresses and wedge heeled sandals made me feel beautiful and sexy. Saturday morning groceries and the wind under my skirt intensified my sexual hunger. Yes, a man buying fresh veg was a turn on. I was hunting, I wanted to consume, to fuck.

It was errand day. I brought the groceries home and was putting them away before heading to town for lunch and a little shopping. I heard the screen door bang in the wind. My ex-husband walked in. I was bent over, my head in the cupboard and ass in the air. “Did you need anything done before I take the girls?” he asked.

I thought, “well, me?” but figured I’d prefer something a little less vanilla than sex with the ex. I stood up and flattened the front of my dress. “No, thanks, I appreciate the offer,” I said casually hugging him, “I’m good, I got my running around done, so I am going to do a bit of shopping this afternoon.”

The slow build to summer seemed to mirror my need for sexual satisfaction. Today, I would see if “FORyou71” really was willing to be with me on any terms. I fired him a message. I will be in the department store café at 3:30. You know what I am wearing. Find me and you can have me.

I was pretty ballsy when it came to hooking up, but I did do a double-take before hitting send. He was fun to flirt with, but it seemed like he wanted a dating situation. I did not. Most guys I meet, do, and forget. I enjoyed the foreplay, he was flirty, but unsure. This was his one and only shot. I am comfortable with my sexuality and confident in my ability. When I started talking to FOR, a few months ago, I made it quite clear that my rules were simple: I used a safety, condoms, and no pictures.

I’m slutty not stupid. My best friend is my safety. I message Gretta and tell what I am up to. Specifically, I was off to the Department store for coffee and a fuck. I shared the name and profile I was meeting as well as his cell number. I gave her the details of the meet. Standard procedure was a text if he showed, another if we made it through coffee and a check-in during or after depending on how it went. I told Gretta I would message if it was a go and check in around 4.

I’ll be there. Was all he replied. Straight and to the point.

I quip back, Excellent.

I reapplied my lipstick and was inspired to accessorize for my outing. I have the cutest anal plug. It’s gold with the prettiest blue stone. I tucked the edge of my dress into my cleavage. I take a moment to massage the lube onto three fingers. I slide my index finger under my thong between my lips and over my asshole. I resist the urge to masturbate, but I do give my vagina a quick inspection, it’s wet already. With my thumb and middle fingers, I cover the plug with the lube. Air from the AC unit is cool on my bare ass. I place my foot on the bathroom counter. I am open and ache to cum. My clit tingles and I flex my muscles in pleasure, bend my knees to spread my cheeks, and place the cool tip to my asshole. My breath is ragged in anticipation. I push it in and my ass sucks in into place. It feels so good I can hardly contain my urge to fuck. I use my muscles to increase my wetness, my breath is shallow, and I slide two fingers in and pump, I am slick as I feel my nipples tighten. I am so ready to fuck. I suck my taste from my fingers and watch myself in the mirror imaging him watching me as I am now. After washing and drying my hands I take my dress from my cleavage straighten my skirt and put my blue sapphire pendant and earring on. I do love when things match.

In final preparation, I moisturize my arms and legs and put my shoes on. I text FOR and ask him if he is in town. His reply is a picture of a sandwich and a beer. I know he likes the pub near the Department store. I keep promising to try the tomato bisque and gourmet grill cheese.

I hope there aren’t any onions on that, I reply.

I’ll see you soon, is his response.

I can barely contain myself. The nerves of youth are replaced with the rush of anticipation fused with my desire to consume him. The thrill of new electrified with the fear of getting caught is almost too much to bear as I drive. My window is down, and the wind whips my hair around. I turn up the radio and sing along. I have plenty of time to do some shopping before we meet.

I take advantage of the fine weather and park on the top floor of the parking garage. No one parks outside on days like today, I have the roof to myself. I throw a blanket over the hood of the car, put my feet on the wall, and lie back for a few minutes, letting my skin bake in the early summer sun. I hike my skirt up to my thighs, skimming my panties. The sun is intense, my skin warms quickly. A message notice requires me to sit up. I put my feet on the ground and rise, my dress falls in place. Gretta is checking in. I confirm where I am and my need to proceed. Her complete support of my sexual exploits is so special to me. She doesn’t judge, she celebrates my sexuality and joy in my conquests. She offers counsel when I ask, and I heed her advice when it is offered.

The elevator is cool as my eyes adjust to the artificial lighting. I attempt to be purposeful in my shopping. New sheets for my bed and new bath towels are the main purpose of the Department store visit. The store is buzzing with shoppers, the displays are cheesy and cheerful, sand pails and bathing suits highlight the hope for the season. I finger and caress the various thread counts and squish the pile of the towel. Thin towels are better in summer, a cotton-blend stays softer when dried outside. But when 100% cotton is line-dried the towels are stiffer and rough on sun-kissed skin. I love how the coarseness softens as the towel wicks the moisture from my body. I am lost in the smells and sensations my imagination provides. I take a half dozen towels and a set of sheets to the cash. Completing the purchase is automatic. I window shop the new sandals, and swimsuits mentally planning a week at the beach. I check the time on my phone as I bring my shopping back to the car. My stomach rumbles as a reminder that I haven’t eaten since six. I make my way to the food-court. I love people watching as I nibble on a scone and sip an iced tea. I flip between reading the news and texting with my kids. Trying to pick a week to book a cottage for us to go away. If we don’t book soon, I will have to be content with camping. That’s a bit more effort than I feel like making this year. I halt our conversation with, I want the 3 of you to decide a date by tomorrow morning, I have told you when I am willing to go.

A brunette catches my eye, she’s late thirties with a French braid, but not just a French braid a flawless, meticulously proportioned French braid. That hair contrast with her cliché Boho suburban mom look. Cut-off jean and layers of tank tops with high heel sandals made her just interesting enough to hold my attention. She is not comfortable in her own skin, she is fidgeting and looking around, trying so hard to be casual. Oh, I would love to have her fidget and twist for me. Twist and moan in pleasure. She looks like a Sally or Sara. I can envision her restrained and blindfolded, wispy pieces of hair stuck to her forehead with sweat from our sexual encounter. Her tiny tits aching for attention, nipples erect from her excitement. Her hips rising and falling with my touch and I awaken her sex, delicate finger fondle and flick her clitoris until she begins to writhe.

Christ, I’m wet just thinking about her. I check my phone. I have to leave Sally on the bed, I’ll revisit her when I have time. My clit is aching from my fantasy. I go to the ladies’ washroom and freshen up. The plug always feels weird when I have to pee, but the intensity it adds to fucking is worth that moment of awkwardness. As I wash my hands, I wonder if I should retrain my hair in a braid. I opt to leave it down and loose. Flavored lip balm, not lipstick and it’s time to go for coffee.

The crowds are starting to thin, children who have missed their naps top the chorus of voices and noises that echo through the mall. The Department store is much more civilized. Piped in music is the order of the day. I slowly make my way through the make-up and perfume counters, touching and smelling, but no applying any product. The restaurant is behind the men’s section. I get an ice water and a coffee; as I am digging for change, the cashier places a wrapped set of cookies on my tray. I walk to the back wall near the exit that leads to the washrooms. With my back to the wall, I face out into the room and place my cell on the table. I sit on the edge of the chair pressing my legs together, squeezing and releasing my muscles. I can feel the dampness of my panties against my bare pussy. I text Gretta and tell her where I am and what I am doing. I smell pine and feel warm breath against my neck.

“Please be Musemeow?” is whispered in my ear. I have to pull away so I can rotate to see his face. He does not disappoint. I’ve seen his cock and even an entire naked body shot, but not his face. He is bookishly handsome. I can’t restrain my approval. I smile so broadly that my cheeks hurt. I make the motion to rise and greet him, he takes my hand and kisses the inside of a wrist. This intimate gesture throws me for a loop, and I freeze momentarily.

I want to say, “who the hell are you?” just to watch his reaction, but I am not willing to lose this encounter. My fetish for sex in public is difficult to satisfy. FOR has been enthusiastic about helping me take this off my bucket list. We exchange niceties and I offer to get him a coffee.

He sits across from me. “If only to enjoy you walking away.”

I grab some change and get a coffee for him. I survey the clientele attempting to anticipate the challenges we may have. I sit across from him and he moves his chair so he can be closer to me and he’s back on to the restaurant. I cross my leg and position myself; my feet rest next to his, he is able to easily caress and rub my calf as we chat. The world quickly slips away as I become fixated on the tenor of his voice and the heat that rises from his hand. I sit up and slide close. I want him between my legs. His hand slides under my skirt. I hold my water glass to my lips, sipping and eyeing the restaurant, no one has noticed us. I slide forward and part my legs so he can easily feel my panties. His muscular hands are rough on my freshly shave legs.

“What have you been up to?” he pauses, his expression is playfully quizzical, “To be wet already? I wasn’t even sure you were going to show. I’m now hard as a rock.” His fingers slip behind the fabric of my panties. I continue to sip water, and my eyes widen with the adrenaline rush. I lay my glass down and hold his eyes. I feel the edge of my dress to ensure the skirt has held its place as far as the rest of the world can’t see. I casually brush non-existent crumbs from my chest, his index finger finds my clit and he starts to flick.

I can’t hide my reaction and I quickly inhale in response. A purr rises from my throat, my eyes flutter and I grab the edge of the table. I ache to let him fill me, to ride him. Another moan escapes I reach for his face. He retreats from me ever so slightly and licks me from his finger. He impishly states, “I have to go wash my hands.” He starts to leave.

“Just a second, I have something for you,” I place a condom in his hand. “I have to do a quick check-in. As he gets up to leave, I send Gretta a quick message.

All is well, msg u when done and in my car.

I silence my ringer, toss everything into my purse, and zip it closed. I survey the men in the room to ensure no one is about to stand. I slip into the men’s washroom it is clean, but there is a mix of cleaner and stale piss. Years of missing must be soaked into the grout of the tile or something. The squeak of the oversized stall door calls for me to enter. I turn to lock the stall and he is behind me. There is a bag on the floor, if anyone comes in, they will see the bag, rather than our feet. Where did the bag come from, how had I not noticed him carrying it before? Both hands hold and fondle my breasts and he pushed me into the stall door. My nipples are confined in their fabric prison. He maneuvers so that I am between the wall and him. I bite down on my lip to avoid making noise. He inspects my dress to figure out if he can access my tits. I know he won’t be able to have me naked, but he is not convinced. I say nothing and try to draw his attention to get to the fucking. I used my nails through his hair and along his neck. He locks his mouth on to mine and kisses me roughly. I offer firm velvety motions from my tongue; his kisses soften and deepen. His hands move from my neck and around to my ass.

“The tits and dress stay where they are,” I whisper. We can hear people in the hall. He assesses the space. He squats so his face is at my pussy. I lean back against the wall and hold the grab bar. He goes under my skirt and pushes the wet fabric to the side. He discovers my accessory and murmurs approval, not to be distracted from his mission. He lifts my leg over his shoulder as he moves to his knees. He sucks, licks and nibbles my sex, his tongue is strong, and I feel it enter me. His fingers begin to push against my plug as he consumers my pussy juices. My orgasm builds. Discovering my ass plug is a major turn-on- he increases the frequency and intensity of the motion. I tuck my chin and moan as sweat rolls down my back and I fight the urge to buck and ride his face. He takes my squirming motion as a signal. I hold my breath waiting for him. I had visions of straddling him for a quickie while he sat on the toilet, this is so much more than I had expected. When he comes out from under my dress his glasses are slightly squished and steamed up. I reach to suck my wetness from his lips, I can’t contain my gratitude.

“Can I take you from behind?” he asks.

I reach up and kiss him only to hear the bathroom door open. I freeze and my eyes bulge. My smile of delight illuminates my face. The adrenaline makes my heart race and my breath quicken. We both resist the urge to laugh. This is the real rush. I cup his penis through the fabric. As I drag fingernails across the fabric, he puts a finger to his lips and smiles. We listen and hear a zipper, he clears his throat and releases his cock, his legs are spread to keep his pants at his hips. Silently, he sheaths his cock in the condom I had given him. He motions for me to turn around, he pulls me back onto his cock as our guest flushes the urinal. His departure is punctuated by the thud of the bathroom door. I exhale heavily and he slaps my ass. I hold the grab bar and grind back onto his cock. He reaches forward and holds me by the hair pounding me as squeaks of ecstasy leave me. My orgasm builds quickly, my back arches and I am dripping in sweat. The crescendo is no more than a dozen slow, deep thrusts, my vagina contracts, cum drips down my leg and I am spent. Time starts again, I grab a handful of toilet tissue to wipe myself. He drops the condom in the trash, takes a handful of paper towels, and leaves. I lock the door, raise my skirt, and sit on the toilet. My head is full of cotton and I can’t form a thought. I pee and compose myself. I take a wipe from my purse, wash my face, and drink from my water bottle. As I walk to the car, I keep stroking and flattening my skirt. I start the car, turn on the AC and send Gretta the text.

Stupendous fuck, pleasantly surprised.

Eve D’Pomme is a college professor and erotic writer. The endless possibilities of human connection motivate Eve’s desires to paint images and make possibilities seem tangible through her writing. Eve has been publishing online for the last year or so and teaching for almost 20 years.

This week in kink: December 7, 2020

December 5, 2020 By Desdemona 2 Comments

Meet professor and Dominatrix Mistress Snow!

Don’t miss her share her story of balancing BDSM and education life.

Click below to find out more from the Daily Beast!

https://www.thedailybeast.com/meet-the-college-professor-who-moonlights-as-a-dominatrix

Many folks are bored, frustrated, and depressed during lockdown.

Because of this, many of us have turned to new outlets and hobbies.

Some have even turned to BDSM!

Click below to find out how virtual BDSM has helped people stay sane during the pandemic from MamaMia!

Into films that push the envelope?

Then, check out these revolutionary, perverted, British films!

They will not dissapoint!

Click below to read more from Screen Rant!

Video: BDSM Games For Foot Fetishes and Foot Lovers

December 5, 2020 By total versext 2 Comments

Have a foot fetish?

Love feet?

Want to spice up your foot play?

Then check out this awesome video from the fabulous Dominatrix Susanna!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuP-Dgr97Eg

Alex and Her Master: An N/C Fantasy-Chapter 3

November 28, 2020 By J S Phoenix 4 Comments

sexy Dom and sub kissing, pet play — via stock.adobe.com

**all pieces of erotica are based on fictional scenarios. We never condone anything that is NOT consensual, sane, or safe.

Click here to read Chapter 2

From last time:

“I told you, girl. Don’t make me punish you.”

His words chilled her to her core; Alex shuddered.

Alex heard the van door close, and then her car starting. She feared being abandoned in this van … where the hell was she? More tears came as she realized that even if she could get loose, she almost certainly couldn’t escape.

She heard her car shut down, and then her captor entered the van.

“Car strippers will be here soon. And in case you’re wondering, I disabled the GPS gear in your car long before I snatched you.”

At that point Alex realized she’d left her cell phone in her desk at work. Not only did Alex not know where she was, neither did anyone else. And now she knew there was no way to track her, either. Alex, paralyzed with fear, sobbed as the van slipped into gear.

“You made it easy for me, you know. You drive the most desired car in the world for car thieves. It’ll be stripped down to mere parts by morning.”

Then he said nothing at all. An interminable silence.

Alex again lost track of time. The van seemed to travel forever. Alex wondered whether someone might find her when the van had to be returned. Then she realized she was grasping at foolish straws. She realized her captor must have made plans to cover the rest of his tracks. The van was of no importance.

After this much time, Alex’s mouth had dried out. The thick gag-wad welded itself to the insides of her cheeks. She realized, more than anything, she wanted water. Needed water. To her relief, the van slowed, turned, and came to a stop. She heard a garage-door closing.

The minute that it took for him to open the van door and begin removing shipping blankets took years. Then the safety net and the tie-down straps. Alex looked up at him, her eyes pleading silently, as he lifted her to a sitting position.

“Mmmm!”

Alex wagged her head upward, extending her chin toward him in a muffled plea to be un-gagged.

“Mmmm!”

“Shut up, girl.”

His hand began working the edges of the first tape strip anyway, despite his stern riposte. Alex wished he’d simply rip the tape off, until she found out how sticky it was, how much it distressed her soft cheeks to have the tape removed at all, even slowly.

“Hold still. It’ll go faster that way.”

Alex froze in the hopes that doing so would indeed make things easier. Finally, after long minutes, the last of the tape came off. He plucked the gag-wad carefully from Alex’s mouth.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Shut up, girl,” he responded softly.

Alex’s mind reeled. How could she ask for water if she wasn’t allowed to speak? Defeated, her head drooped sadly, her eyes staring at her naked lap.

“Look at me.”

Alex raised her head slowly. Her eyes grew round.

“Drink this,” he said softly, extending a bottle of water. “And slowly.”

Alex leaned forward despite the discomfort of her ropes. The water seemed so far away… The threaded opening touched her tongue, and he poured the contents slowly. Alex drank carefully, wanting every drop. When the entire bottle had been consumed, she leaned back.

“Thank you…”

Alex flinched in terror. She’d spoken… Fear surged through her instantly.

“You’re welcome,” he said nonchalantly, shocking Alex. “But keep still, now. You could scream if you wanted to, and no one would hear you. You’re miles from anywhere. But if you piss me off by screaming, or talking without permission, I’ll gag you again. Do you want that?”

Alex shook her head furiously, her tangled blonde mane waving as her head moved.

Picking her up, he slid her toward the door, seating her on the edge so that her legs hung over, her feet almost touching the floor. Alex gasped when she saw the knife in his hand, fearing the worst.

“You want me to untie you? It’ll take forever to undo these knots. Or do you want me to do it quickly by cutting these ropes away?” he asked rhetorically. “Now hold still.”

Alex sat perfectly still, watching, her eyes transfixed, as the blade sliced swiftly through the ropes binding her knees. Then he knelt, holding her trim ankles securely, as he sliced away her ankle-bonds.

“Can you stand?”

Alex nodded and stood. Then she fell as her freshly unbound legs buckled. He caught her in his arms.

“Just like I thought…”

Alex yipped in surprise as he picked her up and slung her over his shoulder, slapping her ass for punishment.

“I told you: keep quiet!”

He carried her inside. Alex tried to see around her, but the way she was carried, just about all she could see was the stone floor, and then the carpet as they moved deeper into the house. Down a flight of stairs they went, into a dark room. Twisting, turning, through several doorways he walked, until he reached a particular door. He set Alex on her feet, leaning her against the wall.

“Can you stand now?”

Alex nodded.

He reached through the doorway and pulled a chain dangling from the ceiling; the clicking switch triggered a light. Alex looked down and saw a small cuff, linked to a heavy chain.

“No… Please…” she begged. “Don’t do this… Please!” she wailed.

To be continued…

Thanks for reading. If you’d like to read (non-serialized) stories I’ve written, please come visit: https://tinyurl.com/yycvsgr6

I’ve been writing erotica–niche adult fantasy (C/NC and N/C)–for the enjoyment of my readers for a number of years. My greatest reward comes from knowing the pleasure my words bring to my readers. If you want to let me know how you liked this story, feel free to drop me a line here: j.s.phoenix.1975@gmail.com

Tantric BDSM

November 28, 2020 By Erica Suarez-Hillingdon 2 Comments

Shibari male submissive bound — via stock.adobe.com

You may be familiar with tantra and/or BDSM. However, as a whole concept, tantric BDSM is gaining more and more popularity.

While it’s easy to assume that tantra and BDSM are world’s apart, you may have practised tantric BDSM without even realising it. So, how do these two entities fuse together as one? In this article, we’re going to delve deeper into this exciting practice and share our ultimate tantric and BDSM tips so you and your partner can get started.

Polarity and Presence

While many people associate Tantra with tantric sex, its practice is rooted in spiritual meanings and the connection with the inner self. For those who participate in BDSM, it’s often assumed that pleasure is driven by dominance, submission, bondage and other experiences.

The reality is that many want to take BDSM further by understanding its link to spirituality. As an emerging practice, Tantric BDSM fuses an erotic state of consciousness to work with energy polarity.

Both Tantra and BDSM require you to be in the present moment, whether that’s performed as the giving or receiving of pleasure without focusing on achieving climax, or being fully present as the dominator for the submissive to surrender. Being present in these moments constitutes polarity – this is what creates an erotic experience.

Tips for Tantric BDSM

Want to get started with Tantric BDSM? Here are our top tantric and BDSM tips so you can create your own erotic experience.

Give or receive?

Do you prefer to give or receive? Maybe you love doing both? You don’t necessarily need to be one or the other. You can be submissive and still enjoy giving, and vice versa. Try both roles with your partner to explore what you enjoy.

Let go of limitations

Forget any limitations regarding your sexuality or gender. These are no rules when it comes to tantric BDSM so relax and enjoy the experience without feeling any shame.

Talk beforehand

Consent plays an important part in both the practice of tantra and BDSM. Before you begin your tantric BDSM session, talk to your partner about each other’s boundaries and what you want to explore. You may also talk about your intentions – what do you want to get out of the session? Maybe you want to find new ways of pleasure or discover new ways to relax. You don’t need to make a step-by-step plan, after all this about bringing excitement into your sex life.

Trust yourself

Some people find the prospect of tantric BDSM daunting. Discomfort with your sexuality often builds up over years and it requires time to change this. Remember to have patience with yourself and to be open to exploration. Why not share your fantasies with your partner and explore them together?

Be present

Focusing on the outside world can prevent you from truly being in the moment. Tantric BDSM requires you to be very much in the present. One of the most effective ways to do this is to focus on your breath. This also helps you to tune into yourself and your partner, providing deeper spiritual healing.

Create a safe space for surrender

While it’s helpful to know your intentions for tantric BDSM, being open to all possibilities enables you to be fully present in the experience. Chasing pleasure can mean we’re not fully immersed in the practice of tantric BDSM – keep your mind open and be fully relaxed knowing you’re in a safe space with your partner.

Create a space free from distractions

A calming space, free from any distractions presents an opportunity to focus on the present. Within tantra, that’s often achieved with dimmed lighting, soft sheets and scented candles. If that helps you to get into the mood, then feel free to re-create a romantic ambience. Remember, BDSM tools are used to keep you in the present moment, as well as being a means of flowing sexual energy.

Merging the Sexual Spectrum: The Benefits of Tantric BDSM

Tantric BDSM is a wonderful practice for anyone looking to have a little more excitement in their love life. Here are just some of the amazing benefits of a Tantric BDSM experience:

Connect with your spiritual side
Enjoy a relaxing and refreshing experience
Bring some fun into your sex life
Form a deeper connection to your partner
Become more confident in the bedroom
Develop more self-confidence
Help to unblock any sexual frustrations

Consider Using A Tantra Specialist

Now you know how to get started with Tantric BDSM and are aware of its incredible benefits, why don’t you use a highly trained specialist to assist you in the bedroom. Karma Tantric provides the most experienced practitioners in London to help you get the very best out of your Tantric BDSM experience. Visit us now to find out more about our impeccable services.

Erica Suarez-Hillingdon is a sex therapist and expert on everything related to tantra, tantric sex, and tantric massage. She is the editor at Karma Tantric, London’s premier tantric massage agency and writes about how tantra can help men, women, and couples improve their sex lives.

Learning to Orgasm On Command

November 28, 2020 By Ms. Rika 2 Comments

handcuffs, sex on the bed — via stock.adobe.com

Today, I’m going to go over a technique that I’ve been teaching for many years. Those who have read my books will likely recognize it. The technique is designed to help a submissive learn how to come on command. This is not some mystical, mind-washing, magic trick; it’s a methodology that helps a sub get in better touch with their body’s orgasm cycle, so that they can control it well enough to orgasm at a particular moment.

The Methodology

The methodology requires a partner, who ends up being in control of the eventual orgasm. Logically, the dominant will play this role – but I suppose it doesn’t have to be the dominant. For argument’s sake, and since most people reading this essay are in (or want to be in) power-based relationships, I’m going to assume it’s the dominant helping the sub learn to orgasm on command.

The goal is to achieve orgasm on a countdown. The dominant will count from a chosen number and the sub will reach orgasm EXACTLY as the dominant reaches zero. Over time and familiarity, the starting number is decreased, until the sub’s required preparation time is minimized. The final goal will depend on the physical capabilities of the submissive, but most everyone I’ve tried this with was able to achieve some level of countdown “perfection.”

The process starts with the submissive stimulating themselves. We do this because it gives the submissive control of the pace and pressure of stimulation. It will be easiest, in the beginning for the sub to be thoroughly excited and even teased to some degree before you start. You want the sub to be able to orgasm relatively easily. In the beginning, the dominant can even ask the sub if they’re ready to start the process.

We start with a very aroused submissive who is stimulating themselves, relatively close to orgasm:

The dominant picks a number; something like 20; and begins to steadily count down to zero. The count should be evenly paced, and reasonably slow. The goal for the submissive is to start to come when the dominant says “zero” – not before zero; not 15 seconds after zero; but starting to orgasm AT zero.

As the dominant is counting, the sub regulates themselves towards their orgasm. If the sub feels themself approaching orgasm too soon, they need to stop stimulation, so that they don’t come – while the dominant continues to count at the same, steady, pace. The sub then tries to pick up again to attempt to still come at zero.

If the sub does not begin to orgasm as the dominant reaches zero, the sub has to stop stimulation, immediately. The sub’s objective isn’t to come before zero or after zero, the orgasm has to be starting AT zero – if not, stop.

If the sub doesn’t come at zero, the dominant lets the sub calm down a little and then decides if they’re going to get another chance right away, or not. This is completely at the dominant’s discretion (another reason why this works nicely for a power dynamic). If the dominant decides not to try again right away,

the sub will get another chance at another time – but, for this technique to work best, the sub must not be allowed to orgasm in between attempts. The key here is that the sub either makes it, or waits until they eventually do.

The next time the technique is tried, the dominant can start at the same number – or, if they feel that the starting number was too low, a higher number. The goal is not to frustrate the sub (that will come later ), the objective is to help the sub make this work. We want the sub to learn their orgasm cycle.

Eventually, the sub will learn the feel of their orgasm and figure out how to get to a point and hold off going too far. They will determine how long it takes to get from that holding point to orgasm – which will become the point in the countdown where they’ll really start to approach orgasm. Every sub will be different. For my husband, that magic number is 4. He knows that he can hit a holding point and then, when I get down to 4 in my count, he switches his mindset and can achieve perfect timing.

Once, does not perfection make. Once the sub gets this right, do it again and again. They will get pretty good at it, eventually. Once they start to be consistently able to hit zero from a particular number, the dominant can start at a lower number, 15, 10, or any number down to the sub’s hold point. You may not make it a couple of times before the process works at a lower number – but the hold point will be the same and so the sub will find themselves able to achieve shorter countdowns very quickly.

Once consistently on time while the sub is stimulating themselves, switch to the dominant doing the stimulation. This opens a whole different situation for the submissive, because they have less control of the intensity of the stimulation. They also need to communicate to tell the dominant to stop stimulation in the event that they are approaching orgasm too soon – or request for more stimulation if they’re not quite in position (which opens the door for some interesting “tease and beg” scenarios).

I have found that, if the sub is well-controlled at self-stimulation, they will adapt to being stimulated very quickly; much sooner than you may think.

Once the sub has mastered control while being stimulated, you can extend the technique to all types of stimulation – including intercourse.

The Benefits

There are a number of benefits to having a submissive who can control the timing of their orgasm. First of all, having so much awareness of their orgasm cycle allows them to last longer as well as not take too long. These will make them better lovers. It will allow them to spend more focus on their dominant’s pleasure and time their release(s) (assuming they’re allowed to have them) with their dominant.

There is also the added benefit of knowing exactly where your sub is along the path to their orgasm – making Tease and Denial games even more effective. If you know your sub is going to orgasm exactly at zero, then, where will they be at 3; or 2; or 1? You can time denial for a perfect frustration – or for ruined orgasms by stopping at the right number.

The “Please Stop” game fits perfectly in on top of this. If you’ll recall (from my previous essays or from my books), the sub is required to ask to stop stimulation 5 seconds before they orgasm. If they’ve mastered this technique, they will already know EXACTLY when they’re 5 seconds away from orgasm. If you, as the dominant, decide not to stop, and you start the 5 second countdown, you know the sub will be able to regulate for orgasm at zero. It won’t matter what type of sexual position you’re in or what activity you are doing.

Wrapping Up

This technique is both doable and effective. It takes some time for the sub to master, but it is absolutely within the reach of most. It’s effective for all genders and makes for a great control game. I hope you try it and tell me how it goes!

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