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Consent in a 24/7 TPE Power Exchange

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Everything in kink requires consent. It is only inside of consent that the activities we engage in can occur.  Without consent, many of the activities we engage in might in fact be considered crimes. From 1,000  feet away, that is certainly true. On the other hand, simple things, especially now that the nation is  opening up again and we are starting to hear about clubs and play spaces opening up again, engaging  with kinksters in a public space requires consent. “Is it ok if I do this ….?”  

Negotiating in pick up-play for instance, requires at the very minimum, that consent around hard limits  is discussed and agreed to, but what about consent in a 24/7 TPE dynamic? How is consent managed  where one person gifts their power to another.  

In our situation, I am a sensual sadist, and my partner is a submissive masochist. For me to be fully self expressed in my sexuality, I need her to operate as my uninhibited collared slut that gifts me her  submission with her consent. It is a given.  

The question that consideration raises though is how do I know I have her consent? Its not like we go  through a daily scene with me asking her with every action I take if I have her consent. So how do I know.  

One aspect of our dynamic is that we both operate with the full understanding that each of us is 100%  responsible for the health of the dynamic. That requires that each of us respond to any event, thought,  statement or suspicion that there is something perhaps out of sorts by addressing it immediately. We  also hold an especially important context of our dynamic at all times. That being that there is nothing  wrong. So if one of us sees or says something that raises concern, that awareness arises in context that  there is nothing wrong so we can deal with what’s actually so. We do not allow stories to enter into the  discussion. At first, as we were getting related and learning about each other’s habits and routines, we  had cause to have a conversation around this idea that “there is nothing wrong” and once we  established that as a context for our relationship, there have been few if any circumstances where we  would have to address each other from a place of mistrust.  

Another aspect of our dynamic is that we are both sex forward and kink forward. This is something that  was established even before we met. We both wanted to live in a dynamic that was highly sexualized.  The upshot of that is that we play almost daily. The result of having over 1,000 iterations of our kinky  sexuality expressed lives as lived is that we know each other pretty well. I know when I am pushing her  limits and I know when she is on the edge. I am responsible for keeping her on the edge and not taking  her past her limit.  

At the beginning of our sceneing, once she had been claimed, and even to this day after being collared,  she has safe words. Yellow for “I like this but it’s a bit too intense at the moment, keep going” to “Red”  which in our world is simply to “stop now, check in and see if we should continue”. And remember,  there is nothing wrong, so reding out is not a big deal. At the same time, I can tell you that she has used  “yellow” a couple times 3 years ago, and she has never needed to red out. She was told at the outset  that “I don’t break my toys”. This gave her confidence to test her limits.  

This brings me to the most important part of consent in a 24/7 TPE dynamic. Consent is based entirely on trust. 

I have had to earn her trust over time as her Master and as her Dom.  

Consider when we met, I had been operating as a disciplinarian in one dynamic and has a cruel sadist in  another and as a Bull in another and she had never been in a kink dynamic although she had been doing kinky things all through her adult life.  

We had to find a way to relate as kinksters so that our dynamic pulled each of us in directions that we  wanted to explore, and to expand our experience of our own sexuality as we explored the twists and  turns of the rabbit hole together. This was a process of trial and error. Mostly we talked a lot. Before, during, and after scenes. I tried many fetishes and kinks with her and she had the experience of being all  in. When things got too hard, she yellowed and after when asked about things we did, she would say, “I  liked this, or I didn’t like that”. This enabled me to hone the ways we played so that I kept her in a state  of heightened arousal, which is what I find deeply arousing. I want her in a trance state on the verge of climax at all times during our scenes.  

I am sexually aroused when the woman I am with is present with me and puts herself forward to be my  sex toy. My 3-hole slut, my personal masochist. And my partner, Lady Petra does just that. The trust that  is present goes both ways. There are times I want her to Top in a scene to explore some aspect of my  own sexuality, like prostate massage for example, and I need to have complete and unwavering trust in her too.  

One of the ways I know I have her consent is that she chooses to kneel for me whenever I ask. I have  also given her the right to choose to kneel without my request so that if she feels the urge to be used,  she can request that I use her by presenting herself. If she did not feel like I had her consent she would  never put herself forward to be used day after day. The act of preparing for use is consent itself.  

The fact that in being used, she experiences multiple squirting orgasms for about 40-90 minutes at a  time is perhaps one reason that she consistently puts herself forward…but I contend that our  communication is clean enough that if she did have something to discuss regarding our play or our  dynamic, she would do so.  

Our dynamic is a 24/7 dynamic in fact. It encompasses every aspect of life. We have created protocols  for many of the specifics that day to day life requires. Why that is important is that our adherence to  protocols allows us to keep a monitor on the relationship in the same way that a pilot monitors his or  her instrument panel. All the dials on the jet’s instrument panel point in one direction. So, if one dial is  out of sorts (pointing away from vertical), the pilot will notice it immediately. This is similar. If there is  not adherence to one or another protocol it is similar to the instrument panel dial pointing in the wrong  direction. In our dynamic that is unlikely though, because Lady Petra is extraordinarily obedient, and I am very much turned on by her obedience.  

One aspect of our consent agreements boils down to this. We agree to put the dynamic aside and speak  as equals if need be. Early on in our dynamic, we had to do this a couple of times till we could get flat  about whatever it was that was bothering one or the other of us. For more than 2 years now, that has  not come up. One reason is that we are both being responsible for the dynamic as I noted earlier. We take the idea of creating the dynamic seriously.  

I am responsible for creating how I occur to her. She is responsible for creating how she occurs to me.  She pulls me to her by they way she shows up for me. She creates me when she prepares herself to be used and lets me know that she is indeed ready for me. This means that however long it takes me to get  there, I will find her kneeling offering me her leash, or on days when she is ready to be marked, she offers me the cane.  

I am also responsible for how she occurs to me. Consider that. If she is upset, its my responsibility. Its up  to me to get to the bottom of it and to do whatever is needed to get her back to being happy. I leave her  the way I leave her. So, when she is upset, I own it, and when I say I am responsible for how she is  experiencing me, it is both disarming and affirming. The point is that it is my responsibility to create her  experience as my collared slut. I want her fully enrolled in being my personal masochist. My personal  perfectly designed 3-hole whore. My fuck toy. I want her to have the experience of feeling like being  with me is a magic carpet ride. Every day. How do I know I have her consent? Because after I use her,  she sits up and takes my face in her hands and kisses me passionately telling me that I am a magician.  We describe our experience together as “bliss”. We both experience what our Tantra friends call “a  Kundalini Awakening”.  

I have her consent because we are both experiencing the deepest, most connected, most intimate,  highly sexualized, satisfying, passionate, hottest loving relationship we can possibly imagine. And we  created it. It has turned out better than we could possibly expect.  

She chooses to kneel for me. This is how I know I have her consent.  

SafferMaster and Lady Petra offer Kink Relationship Coaching with online, group, and personal coaching  options.  

You can access the coaching services offered by Lady Petra Playground by reaching out for an initial  conversation- LadyPetraPlaground@gmail.com  

New coaching content can be found on out Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/LadyPetrasPlayground  

Lady Petra and SafferMaster also produce the Kinky cocktail Hour podcast available on all podcast  platforms and here: https://kinkycocktailhour.buzzsprout.com/  

What Makes A Great Submissive?

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I hope you have been enjoying Rika’s Lair, my monthly column dedicated to thoughts and experiences  regarding power dynamics in Service-Oriented D/s relationships. Look up “Ms. Rika” in the search box  for links to all my articles in KinkWeekly! 

A couple of days ago, I participated in a forum discussion on FetLife regarding attributes that dominants  look for in their submissives. There was a lot of talk about appearance, obedience, strength, etc.  

As I often do, when I structured my answer, I did so in two parts: Attributes of a partner in a relationship  (any relationship) and additionally, the attributes of a submissive. After all, a D/s Relationship has both  the power dynamic and underlying relationship in play, simultaneously. 

In terms of relationship partners, I look for reliability, trustworthiness, good communication skills, a  good sense of humor (the ability to make me laugh), intelligence, empathy, and loyalty (is that so much  to ask? ). They also need to be respectful, honest, and caring. I look for these things from my spouse,  my friends, my family, and even from my business associates. Even acquaintances need to have these attributes, in some level, to last. 

Submissives are relationship partners, so they require all the above. In addition, there are some critical  attributes that I feel will help them to be top-notch submissives: First, they must want to be the best  submissive they can be. An inner need to strive to improve, and continually improve. They also must be  able to divorce themselves of any preconceived notion of what submission is, and adapt to deliver it the way I define it. They must internalize feedback quickly and continue to adapt their submission  accordingly. 

In terms of characteristics that make a great submissive, I’d have to say CONFIDENCE, HUMILITY, and  FLEXIBILITY: A great combination! 

They must be confident enough to trust that they can do things without assistance and confident  enough to take correction to heart and make changes. They must be confident in their desire to submit; in whatever way is required of them. Confident enough in themself to not be needy and to be able to  function independently without constant assurance, attention, and monitoring. 

As far as humility, they must be humble enough to realize that their submission is not all about themself and yet, to accept praise without getting cocky or know-it-all. They must be humble enough to consider  themself a student, continually striving to learn and improve. 

Lastly, they must remain flexible to adapt. Good submissives are good listeners and act on what they  learn. They don’t get stuck in “the way they’ve always done it” and, in fact, are usually looking for better  ways to achieve the tasks assigned to them. They need to seek to understand and internalize my  preferences and expectations and allow themselves the freedom to adjust to fulfill them. They believe  they can always do better and seek out constructive recommendations for improvement. 

There’s great value in a good submissive. They make your life easier; simpler. A good submissive is easy;  you just find yourself being able to use them and rely on them. Good ones are a pleasure to have around  and generate positive energy.

If you find yourself having to work harder to maintain a submissive or find yourself having to play games  in order to get them to do what they committed to do when they submitted to you, they are likely  missing some of the characteristics I’ve listed above. Figure out what those are quickly – and inform the  submissive to make the changes needed. If they don’t, or aren’t willing to – then “cut bait” as quickly as  possible and get out. It will only be a matter of time before the frustration wears you down. 

If, however, you find yourself a great submissive – they’re worth their weight in gold! Use them, mold  them, and custom fit them to you. They will appreciate it and your life will be lifted by having them around! 

Ms. Rika is a lifestyle dominant, educator, and author; living in the suburbs of NYC with her  husband/slave. She has written several popular books on her approach to adding Dominant-Centric,  Service-Oriented D/s to relationships. You can find her books (in both print and eBook formats) at  Lulu.com (http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/msrika), or at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, the iStore, Books-A Million, Kobo.com, or anywhere books are sold. Search for “Ms. Rika”. Write to me at  Ms_Rika@hotmail.com

A Deep Dive Into Our Kink Relationship

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We live in a 24/7 TPE. She belongs to me. She is my marked, collared and plugged submissive. She gets a  daily maintenance spanking, she kneels for me when asked, and she has full agency.  

We are closer than either of us could have imagined possible. I recently wrote this poem about her: 

My Sexy Slut  

She is my muse  

My creation  

A phenomenon  

A truly sexualized creature  

Her body Pulses  

Vibrates  

And quivers in ecstasy  

Again and again  

She is erotic  

Exotic  

My Cinnamon Girl  

Connected to the earth  

Her animal spirit  

A mountain lion  

Inside her  

Brings me to  

Heights unscaled  

Where air is thin  

Aroused  

Excited  

Growling my approval  

We cum hard ‘together  

Me  

And my Sexy Slut  

When we met 3 years ago, we were both coming off long term unsatisfying marriages. She was  subjected to the whims of her domineering partner, and I suffered the scorn of a frigid wife. We both  have kids and we both have a background in athletics and health care. So there was a lot we could talk  about, and yet, we both brought a lot of baggage to the table.  

I had made the choice after a 4-year journey into hard-core kink following my separation and divorce, to  base my relationship on being an out-kinkster. I chose to seek a submissive partner to explore my sexuality with.  

Now to be clear, I had spent those 4 years post-divorce playing in the kink pool, and what I came to  discover was that intimacy was missing. I also postulated that being an out sexual kinkster, that with a  deeply submissive woman I could create intimacy in this relationship where none had existed before for 

me. I wanted to have a love relationship with a submissive masochist who herself wanted to live in a  24/7 TPE.  

With that context I wrote a “seeking post” that did as much as it could to authentically describe both  what I was seeking and who I was seeking, as well as to state clearly what I was seeking. It was an authentic writing.  

During my time playing with different submissives over the previous few years, I was present to how  many women were seeking domination. So, I was not surprised when many women responded to my  seeking post almost immediately.  

One stood out. My writing occurred to her as if it was written to her personally.  

She and I talked for months before we met. We shared stories, fantasies, kinks, desires, goals,  relationship intentions and so on then I tasked her to test her obedience and her access to masochism  as a sexual experience. She passed the test and I was compelled to meet her in person. We met for a  drink at a place midway between us.  

The way she tells it, it was in that moment of meeting me when she took stock of me in person for the  first time, that she chose to kneel for me. I occurred to her as the Dom she was seeking. Soon after our  meeting, I left the country for a month and when I returned, she was out of town for a couple of weeks.  So, we did not see each other again for around 8 weeks. We agreed to meet over lunch, and then we  met a couple of times for dinner and then on the weekend, she came over, and we took a walk and  shared a bottle of wine on the beach. She had done her research. She had lots of questions.  

She wanted to experience a real dynamic. I was interested in her as a submissive and possibly a  relationship partner long term. And the attraction was chemical. We both found each other attractive  and desirable. We were talking about what was needed to begin a dynamic. I told her that she would  need to put herself forward to be claimed, and we talked in detail about what it would take for her to  choose me to submit to. I described the protocol that she would need to follow for the experience.  

She came over one last time to spend an evening with me and she was excited to play but she had not  yet been claimed, and because I had said so, I was not prepared to play with her until she was finally  separated from her husband whom she was in the process of divorcing.  

I share this history because it was those months of conversations that comprised the negotiations for  our dynamic. We talked in detail about our limits, about the context of a D/s dynamic in a 24/7  relationship. What it would be like, the protocols I required, the specifics and so on. We established safe  words and made an agreement to set the dynamic aside while we deal with what there was to deal with  should the need arise. The more we talked the more she wanted to serve.  

She was ready to be claimed. 

This was not an insignificant moment for us. She arrived on time, and she undressed in the entrance  hall, and crawled to the center of the living room where she took the Nadu pose as instructed. Her  training had begun. The claiming was intended to be intense. She agreed to be marked inside and out as  I fulfilled on claiming her as my personal slut, and in choosing to be her Master. She got marked with  several cane strokes and I pissed down her throat and, in her ass, to mark her inside. She was now my  marked slut, and we began the experience of learning how to play together.  

For the next several weeks, she spent weekends with me and from Friday PM till late on Sunday PM she  wore a play collar and we experienced hard-core kinky sex together. We experimented with a range of  playing styles as we learned to interact sexually with each other. It was fun.  

We debriefed after every scene, and I took what I learned about her into the next scene and so on. But  at this early stage it was till experimentation us. She was experiencing her desire, being to be in a real  dynamic and to offer her submission completely, and I was experiencing the joy of training my  submissive to serve me.  

About a month into our dynamic, things started moving fast on her end and she found herself faced with  a crisis. Her ex-husband was starting to behave erratically, and she was being advised to move out for  her safety. I offered her my place to stay, no strings attached.  

She moved in under duress, but she was grateful for the safe space. I gave her the time and space she  needed to allow her to relax into the dynamic. There was zero pressure.  

She and I found that we liked spending time together. It was new for me to have a woman sleeping in  my bed day after day, and we took walks holding hands and talked and talked and talked about things.  We talked about sex, and food and kids and marriage and divorce and nature and being and religion and  spirituality and health and fitness and dogs and sex some more. I was enrolling her in my world and  specifically in my view of a 24/7 TPE along with other topics like abundance, love, relatedness, intimacy  and connection. We got along famously, we enjoyed each other’s company, and the sex was amazing.  

We talked and fucked and cooked and ate together and drank together, it became clear fairly quicky  that with her in my life, my life was dramatically improved. We started to experience good feelings for  each other. She was bold and said so first and I was confronted by my story of being unlovable, so I had  to be with her feeling strongly about me while I figured out how to deal with my own experience. I had  what I wanted and had been seeking right there in my living room telling me that she was falling in love  with me. Talk about being confronted. (I like to define the word “confronted” as to “look at without flinching”.)  

My search had been for intimacy and so that started an inquiry about what that meant for us. We  continued to explore kink and each other and she pursued her cocktail sommelier credential. This led to  us having a cocktail and an in-depth relationship conversation every day after we fucked. We had a play  scene daily and had high protocol scenes on the weekend. It was a great time. Around the same time, I  implemented a daily maintenance spanking regime to address her mood swings. She was much happier after impact play. This was a game changer on many levels. It gave us new access to her masochism and  the sex got hotter (if that was possible) and we got closer.  

In the meantime, her divorce got finalized and with her being complete, the last condition I had set for  collaring her was satisfied, I offered her my collar. She accepted, and now as my collared slut we  continued to explore intimacy in our relationship newly and if it’s possible to believe, the sex is hotter  every time out than it ever was before.  

We came to a place where we were both able to truly allow the other person in – to be vulnerable. The  way I put it was that I would allow her to hold my heart in one hand and a sharp blade in the other, and I  choose to give her the power to destroy my heart. That is vulnerability. She did the same. We got  vulnerable with each other and that made all the difference. We got closer and the sex got hotter. Crazy.  

Armed with a loving dynamic, our 24/7 TPE took off. Then covid happened and we were stuck at home  in our new collared dynamic. And wow, did we love that. We spent 24 hours a day together living a 24/7  dynamic in reality. It was magical.  

Her mixology skills improved and we found ourselves in a deep conversation about our relationship, our  dynamic, and so on, which led us to starting the podcast because if you really think about it, our kink is  communication. We worked on the coaching program, and we got involved in meeting and interviewing  kinksters to discover more for ourselves. Out of that we made friends in the kink community, and we  have deepened our relationship dramatically. We have also been having ever hotter sex, most recently  described as a “open chakras and a flowing kundalini” by Mystic Chick.  

We are getting close to a tantric experience. We have distilled our scenes down to the essence of pure  pleasure. It’s remarkable. We are left breathless and high each time we fuck.  

We love each other, our kink is wrapped into our sexuality, and we continue to explore.  

Our exploration has a few rules  

– There is nothing wrong  

– We do not allow space between us  

– We are each 100% responsible for the dynamic  

– We relate as Dom/sub, Sadist/masochist, Daddy/little, Master/owned property  

These “rules” create a context for the relationship that keeps us on an even keel. And we have  incorporated protocols that keep us ticking along on all cylinders. We are 100% aligned. Its wonderful.  

I wrote this poem recently:  

She Completes Me  

30 years  

Scorned 

Nullified  

Made Nothing if  

Demeaned  

Diminished  

Held in contempt  

Sneered at  

3 years  

Loved  

Cherished  

Esteemed  

Admired  

Appreciated  

Desired  

Valued  

Love is powerful  

Life is in balance  

She completes me  

As you think about yourself and your life and your kink and your relationship dynamics and you are hoping to experience something similar to what we are experiencing, consider that communication is  our kink, and we would not have gotten here if we were both unclear about what we were seeking in the first place.  

Our entire coaching program is designed to get you here…on your own terms. Feel free to reach out to us on https://www.patreon.com/LadyPetrasPlayground where the Task a Day program will give you access to the experience.  

You can access the coaching services offered by Lady Petra Playground by reaching out for an initial conversation- LadyPetraPlaground@gmail.com  

SafferMaster and Lady Petra offer Kink Relationship Coaching with online, group, and personal coaching  options.  

Lady Petra and SafferMaster also produce the Kinky cocktail Hour podcast available on all podcast platforms and here: https://kinkycocktailhour.buzzsprout.com/

Adult Nursing Relationships

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For as long as I can remember, I have had an oral fixation.  Initially, it started with chewing.  I bit or chewed everything.  I always assumed it was a stress response.  As I got older, it developed into a love of sucking.  I often used my own wrist or lollipops if I was outside my home.  As I became more comfortable with it, I moved to using teething necklaces and pacifiers.

I find sucking comforting.  It quiets my mind and help calms me emotionally.  So, in times of stress or highly charged emotions, I use my mouth.  When I entered a relationship with my wife, I just didn’t bring it up.  I continued as I had for most of my life, by self-soothing.

What you may not know about me is that I used to write fanfiction.  I do, in fact, still read it to this day.  Somewhere in one of the stories, I was introduced to Adult Nursing Relationships (ANRs).  

So, what is it?

It has several different names that can be used interchangeably.  However, I do think the way someone refers to an ANR, reflects their interest in it.

Traditionally, ANRs are typically seen as pertaining to heterosexual couples, since this most often occurs after childbirth.  ANRs are not specific to any particular sexuality, gender, or relationship type (such as a Domestic Discipline, 1950’s, Caregiver/little, or D/s dynamic).  

The relationship aspect to ANR simply means there is some kind of underlying connection between the individuals.  It does not need to be a romantic or long-term relationship, although often times they are.  ANRs do not need to be sexual either.  The main attraction of breast feeding is often about bonding, close skin-to-skin contact, or the feelings of nurture from either suckling or being suckled.

So, let’s get into some definitions now that we know the background information.  

Adult Nursing– It is simply a person who drinks the milk of another.

-Medically, drinking a woman’s milk was done to alleviate the pain of swollen breasts, whether from a lack of natural expression or just an overabundance of production.  

Erotic Lactation– sexual arousal from drinking a woman’s breastmilk.  Lactophilia and Milk Fetishism are also terms that refer to this kind of sexual excitement (though they are mostly used in the field of psychiatry and listed in the ICD-10 and the DSM-IV).  Hucows (or Human Cows) also fall under erotic lactation but are more of a sexual fetish that involves animal play and milking.

ANRs can be romantic relationships, sexual relationships, emotional relationships, roleplay, or any combination thereof.

There is also a phenomenon called dry suckling.  Dry suckling is the suckling (or gentle application of sucking and licking) without milk production.

This is the one I enjoy.  My wife did not enjoy breastfeeding nor having her breasts swollen with milk.  When she stopped producing, she swore to never do so again.  While there are ways to induce milk production, we have chosen to not take those steps.  I find it emotionally soothing.  

Adult Nursing Relationships tend to develop one of two ways.  The first is natural development (or curiosity) after childbirth, in which your partner is naturally producing breastmilk.  The second is through arduous negotiation, upkeep, and effort.

The reason I call the second one arduous is because inducing lactation is not an easy process.  It requires constant suckling and stimulation to upkeep, even after milk production occurs.  That said, it is said to be extremely fulfilling.  

It should also be noted that some women struggle with or are incapable of producing breastmilk.  Some of the medical conditions can include hypoplasia of the breast, lactation insufficiency, insufficient milk syndrome, agalactia, agalactorrhea, hypogalactia or hypogalactorrhe.  

Even if you have not been diagnosed with any of these conditions, I always recommend seeing your primary care doctor for advice on inducing milk production, maintaining the supply, or how to cope with any struggles you may be having.

If you were to google it, there are hundreds of homeopathic remedies that say they can initiate or increase your milk supply.  Since I do not have a medical degree, I refuse to offer up advice on those types of remedies or the possibilities of failure or success by using them.

Lactation can be incorporated into a relationship beyond suckling.  In a D/s or M/s dynamic, it can give the D-type more control over their s-type’s body.  

  1. The ability of when or where the s-type can (or cannot) express their milk.
  2. Keeping an s-type bound to a schedule
  3. Breasts swollen with milk are more sensitive and can be incorporated with impact play for both pleasure and punishment (with care).
  4. Milk can be shared with guests at the D-type’s discretion (and with negotiated consent).
  5. If you push down on the breast (specifically at the point where the corner of the lips touch the skin) it breaks the suction.  If done repeatedly, I consider it to be quite Sadistic.

*If it is the D-type who is lactating, the withholding of the ability to suckle can be used as a form of punishment or as a conduit to teach patience and self-control

Honestly, the possibilities are endless.  The incorporation of certain types of play, such as needle play and/or piercings (play or permanent) should be assessed on a case-by-case basis to prevent too much trauma to the breast tissue, which could impact milk flow.

As mentioned earlier, ANRs can be enjoyed by any sexuality and gender.  Biologically, men do not naturally produce breastmilk (except in a couple rare phenomenon in which the hormone prolactin becomes present in their body).  However, there are ways that things can be adjusted to allow them to be the “producer.”  The use of a nursing bra and a bottle of milk (or another liquid of choice) can mimic the natural process.  Holding a partner and having them drink straight from a bottle can still give the same bonding experience while compensating for the inability to produce from the breast.  Tubing can also be used to slow feed liquids.  You can place the tubing near the nipple and have the individual suckle the nipple and the tubing at the same time.  Please note that this needs to be done carefully and can be both messy and a choking hazard if done incorrectly.

Overall, Adult Nursing Relationships are what you make them.  They can be sexual if that is what you wish.  They can be about bonding and being emotionally connected to a partner.  They can involve milk production or not (although the latter is considered a controversial idea).

For me, the most important part is the suckling.  It brings me comfort and peace of mind.  It soothes my frazzled nerves and calms me.  I prefer to suckle at her breast, but I have learned to adjust to the wrist or inner elbow as needed (since her nipples tend to be the most erogenous part of her body).  However you wish to look at it, ANRs are about connection.  Whatever your connection looks like, as long as it is consensual, let your imagination be your guide.

This week in kink news: August 16, 2021

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Kink editors Kwan and Greenwell share their collection of kink stories.

Click below to find out more from Elle!

https://www.elle.com/culture/books/a36878755/kink-editors-garth-greenwell-ro-kwon-interview/

Don’t miss how a Mom of two with epilepsy makes money as a part time Pro Domme.

Click below to read more from The New York Post!

https://nypost.com/2021/08/04/epileptic-mom-of-2-boosts-her-confidence-as-sexy-dominatrix/

New to the scene? Then check out this awesome newbie checklist from Women’s Health!

Want to Try BDSM? Here’s the Ultimate Beginner’s Guide

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A Masochists Journey

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Something happened this week during our High Protocol scene. For my collared Slut and I, this occurs  when she presents herself to be marked. We do this about once a week. I mark her with a heavy cane.  The number of strokes vary according to her desire. The rest of the week she has a maintenance  spanking during our daily play scenes. That is the context.  

We were talking (debriefing) after the scene, and she said that she found the marking sexually arousing.  This got me thinking about each of our transformations as sexual creatures since we started sceneing  together almost 3 years ago.  

For me the transformation to sensual sadist was not as big a step as it was for her to discover impact  play as arousing. I had explored being a disciplinarian and a cruel sadist at length before I met her and  had found, to my surprise, that pure sadism was not my preferred way of being. I had always wanted my  sadism to be wrapped up in my sexuality, and sadism without sex was pointless as far as I could tell. I needed more.  

For her the transformation was way more nuanced and more profound.  

Its best to tell the story of her transformation in the form of a narrative from the beginning. When we  first met, I saw her as a masochist. To wit, I had given her a task to do to test her obedience and her  masochist tendencies – I instructed her to fig herself with a stick of wet ginger and to masturbate while  doing so. She had 3 orgasms. Then she was required to meditate for a few minutes with the ginger  inserted. She had an out of body experience. I also learned that as an elite distance athlete she had a  lifelong experience with endorphins and being in a trance state.  

After a time, I invited her to put herself forward to be claimed. The claiming would involve her being  “marked inside and out”. I told her that I would piss in her ass and down her throat and that I would mark her with a cane.  

It took something to put herself forward in that context. She had chosen me to be her Dom and she  chose to kneel for me. She was courageous. She experienced the early period of our dynamic with some  fear and trepidation mixed with the excitement of being a claimed submissive, the sex was intoxicating  and new to her, and at the same time, she was having an ongoing conversation with herself, figuring out  how she was going to endure and cope with the experience of choosing a sadist as her Dom long term.  She is very competitive, and she was determined to win.  

During the early period of our dynamic, as a responsible sadist, I was trying to read her before, during  and after scenes, so that I could adjust the sadism to her experience as a masochist as lived. In that we  are in a 24/7 TPE, I had a lot of responsibility to make sure that “I didn’t break my toys”. I told her I  didn’t and she trusted that I would not. I had to be good to my word. For about 6 months, we used  different implements and I created many different scenes exploring many fetishes and kinks to see  where she and I were aligned, and how it felt. It was all new and a thrilling, exciting and scary experience  for her to be in this intense sexual inquiry at that stage of our relationship. We first related as kinksters  and as sexual creatures, and I had made the determination to make sure my partner and I were sexually  aligned. We talked a lot about what worked and what adjustments were needed to make things work,  and for a while, that was how we progressed the dynamic. Several months into our cohabitation, in  response to circumstances, I implemented a Daily Maintenance Spanking regime. This was a particularly important event in our dynamic. We learned a great deal, both about her masochism as a result of that  decision, and about my sadism and what it was that pleases me.  

“During this early phase of our dynamic, I had many stories and scenarios running through my  head as I attempted to make meaning of the impact play variations we were exploring. I liked  the idea of impact play as an endurance test of my will and obedience. As a service submissive, I  was determined to win this game. My internal dialogue included judgements that I should be  able to take 100+ strokes of a cane or any other implement my Daddy chose to use to mark his  property. However, I had little experience with most implements…especially within a 24/7 TPE  dynamic. Early on, I was fixated on the stingy pain of implements and how they distracted me  from being present versus enhancing my sexual experience. I was preoccupied with the pain. At  first, I discovered certain implements were not my favorite. I feared sharing that with my Daddy  as I didn’t want to disappoint him…a sadist. However, I was committed to creating no space  between us and so I began to share. What was so wonderful, is that he listened…he too was  searching for his sensual sadistic rhythm. I found that the heavy flogger was my favorite  implement and would crave it most of all. I knew that the cane would always be present as my  Daddy wanted his slut marked. I resigned myself to endure the cane as the trade-off was his  satisfaction and appreciation of his slut welcoming her marks. During this time of caning, I would  try to use various techniques to reframe the pain. I tried crushing the pain and diminishing it I my  mind’s eye. I would realize the caning as flagellations to pay for the pain I had bestowed upon  my children for divorcing their father. I would also use breath control to focus pain out of my  body on the exhale. All methods worked a bit, but were largely unsuccessful ongoingly. When  Daddy implemented the Daily Maintenance Spanking, I was both excited and a bit nervous. What  if I couldn’t take it? After the first week of daily spankings of 200-500 strokes with the heavy  flogger, I began to look forward to this intimate time. I felt myself relax into the flogging and  after about 100-200 strokes, I was warmed up and no longer would feel the strokes individually.  Instead, I began experiencing an energetic buzz throughout my body. My initial physical reaction  was a dripping wet pussy…often running down my legs. This would always be followed by  incredibly hot hot kinky sex with my Daddy. As time passed, I would comment that I could handle  more and more flogging. Basically, I would stretch my Daddy to flog me until his arm gave out.  Around this time, I proposed that 1000 strokes may be fun to attempt. This scene included my  Daddy tying me up in a bent over position with my hands and ankles bound together. He went to  work and got lost in his own Dom space. I too was lost in sub space and only requested to stop  after hitting our goal due to my legs falling asleep and fearing I would collapse.” – Lady Petra  

Mainly we learned after using several implements over time, that she responded best to the heavy  flogger, and to a steady rhythmic firm impact. We learned that after about 125 strokes she started to  experience orgasms as the spanking continued. We tested her tolerance to over 1200 strokes on one  occasion and only stopped because her arms and legs were falling asleep in the bondage. She loved the  experience. Since then, our daily maintenance spanking routine is implemented exclusively using the  heavy flogger and because we both find it so very arousing, we have ridiculously hot sex every single  time. The spanking is now inextricably wrapped into our sexuality. Her relationship with pain had evolved.  

That was a pivotal moment in her masochism. It was when she first started to experience herself as a  sensual masochist. Her experience with pain was something that we talked about a lot. And in fact, the  daily conversations we were having became the impetus of our podcast launch. 

I gave her a view to consider, that pain is an emotion and that its subject to interpretation. She became  clear through the daily spankings with the heavy flogger over time, that the notion rang true for her too.  Even so, the High Protocol scenes where marking occurred, the impact with the cane was more than she  could process at the moment.  

Over time, we explored different elements around caning her to see if we could find a path to make her  experience of being caned as sexually arousing for her as it was for me. We tried giving her a prolonged  warm-up and we tried taking more and also less time between strokes, but we were unable to alter her  overall experience of being caned, which at that time the intensity of being caned had the impact of pulling her out of subspace.  

Recently and quite by accident, we hit on a novel way to approach marking. I noticed one day that she  spontaneously asked to be marked in the middle of a scene. I mark her and then fuck her ass while she  recovers. One day, she randomly stated after being caned while I was fucking her ass … ”Mark me  Daddy”. First of all, I found the experience incredibly hot and very erotic. Second, she seemed to handle  the next cane stroke with ease. It occurred to me that instead of me trying to judge and assess her  status so as to manage her marking without breaking her spirit, she could just tell me what she was  actually dealing with and wanting at the moment. So, we talked about my need to mark her rather than  hurt her, and her desire to be my marked slut. We made the choice to give her the power to determine  how many marks she received after my initial stoke during a marking protocol scene.  

“When I first asked to be marked with the cane, I was deep in sub space and we had already  began the caning protocols. I was feeling so connected and aligned with my Daddy, that I felt his  caning was an expression of his desire and love for me. He cared enough to mark…ME! My love  for him overflowed and I heard myself say…”Mark me Daddy!” I was both aroused and shocked  at what I heard erupt from me. As I bared down reading myself for his mark, something  changed. He marked me and I remember saying to myself…”Wow…that wasn’t so bad.” The  pain seemed to dissipate quicker than usual too. That was the beginning…Daddy stated that  after my 1st cane stroke on marking days, I would then be given the power to request more  strokes. This was a game changer. Now I would request my strokes, which is a bit of a mind  fuck. But, as a switch, to give me power to request my strokes gave me access to experience my  caning in a new and enlightening way. I began to not dread my caning. I began cherishing my  marks as I felt part of the process. My Daddy’s insight truly led to my greater and more positive  experience with marking.” – Lady Petra 

This was a game changer for her. She suddenly started to relate to the pain of being caned with a  different context and mindset. She started to request many more strokes than she had previously  experienced. This was music to my ears. Hot sex became even hotter! Our kink experience was  dramatically enhanced by this simple choice. She could give up her fears around being caned and  contextualize the experience as “being marked by her choice”. As her Dom, I want her marked and as  my submissive she chooses to be my marked property. We are aligned.  

This brings us to what happened yesterday. After our High Protocol Scene, we were talking and she said  to me “I found the caning very arousing”.  

This revelation exploded in my mind as a line that we had been striving to cross, or a mountain peak we  were trying to summit had been achieved. The experience of flogging her led to a massive breakthrough in her experience with impact play and yesterday, the experience of caning has now resulted in a  massive breakthrough in her experience with caning.  

During the scene, which we begin with a hypnokink induction, I framed all our play in the context of an  “energy exchange”, including the caning, and I suggested to her that she experience the caning as a  massive transfer of energy, which it is ultimately.  

Whatever the catalyst, she had a new experience with the cane that left her more aroused by the  experience that she was at any time in the past.  

By the time she got caned during our High Protocol scene, she had already experienced multiple  orgasms, oral, anal and vaginal, and she had been flogged perhaps 500 times with two heavy floggers in  preparation. Despite that, she shared, after the experience, that at the time, she had a consideration  that she was not sufficiently warmed up and, in some ways, nor was she mentally prepared for the  marking to occur at that moment. Even so, her experience of the marking was, surprisingly, one of being  sexually aroused by the caning.  

“This new experience of feeling arousal during my marking occurred to me newly during this  most recent marking day. I found my caning bearable and was able to feel the energy move  through me and back to my Daddy. Not quite sure I fully understand how to replicate the  scenario, but I do think the suggestions relating to energy transfer with the caning helped me  reframe the experience. Our scenes have only been getting hotter and hotter. I feel closer to my  dominant more than any other person on earth. I think all combined, we have access to a door  to Nirvana that few experience. I am grateful to be on a path with such a sexy sensual sadistic  dominant who pulls and demands the masochist inside me to meet him toe-to-toe. He creates  me and I create him. We are only at the beginning, and I am excited to see where we will go  next!” – Lady Petra  

This is a big deal in our dynamic. I am not sure if its due to one reason or another, or if her experience  was created by several combined aspects of the experience. Probably the latter. What I know is that as a  sensual Dom, I wrap my sadism into my sexuality and now I have confidence that as a masochist, she  wraps her masochism into her sexuality, including our marking scenes, and it brings us closer together  and aligns us to an even more precise degree. We are now even more aligned than we were, and to a  degree that I thought impossible with another human being.  

From the start, I set out to sexualize our dynamic and to a large degree I have been successful. Naturally  this could not occur without Lady Petra’s full enrollment and participation. She is my 24/7 collared slut.  She is always prepared to serve me. And now, our journey has taken a turn as it does in the rabbit hole.  

We set out to explore our sexuality and to seek ever more fulfilling sexual encounters. Over the years,  the twists and turns in the rabbit hole have surprised us. We always say that if we take new actions, the  outcomes are unexpected.  

If I had told you 3 years ago that in 3 years, she would find caning arousing, you might have raised your  eyebrows if you had had a chance to interview her back then. But now, three years later her experience  of herself as a masochist has transformed. The crucible that this has occurred in is that over 1,000  iterations, we have distilled our sexual encounters down to a series of the most exciting, most erotic,  hottest actions and interactions from hypnokink, to impact play, to 3-hole penetration, to a give and take that keeps us both in a state of primal lust and now, because of her most recent experience, our  High Protocol Scene has become scalding hot.  

“I love a woman when she has abandoned her moral center and teachings…when she’s cast aside her façade of propriety and lady-like demeanor…when I have so corrupted this fragile thing  and brought out a writhing, mewing, bucking, wanton whore for my enjoyment and pleasure…enticing from within this feral lioness…growling and scratching and biting…taking  everything I dish out to her…at that moment she is never more beautiful to me except for when I  realize that I have now helped unleash a lioness into the world…”  

−Marquis de Sade  

SafferMaster and Lady Petra offer Kink Relationship Coaching with online, group, and personal coaching  options.  

You can access the coaching services offered by Lady Petra Playground by reaching out for an initial  conversation- LadyPetraPlaground@gmail.com  

New coaching content can be found on out Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/LadyPetrasPlayground  

Lady Petra and SafferMaster also produce the Kinky cocktail Hour podcast available on all podcast  platforms and here: https://kinkycocktailhour.buzzsprout.com/

Enema Play

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It’s that time of year again.  No, I don’t mean “soon it will be back to school and summer will be over” time of year.  Luckily, that worry is behind me. What I am referring to is on a more positive tip: It is time for DOMCON L.A. This annual “Convention de Kink” was canceled last year due to covid 19.  But this year, it is back! A multi-day celebration of our lifestyle, it will be held at the LAX Hilton from August 18th to August 23rd,  So why the long,  shameless plug you ask?  Answer: I will be a presenter there — on Saturday August 21st at 12 noon.  It will be a discussion of that which I concentrated on here on kinkweekly.com – how the pandemic affected us, both positively and negatively.  Please join us. Now back to our regularly scheduled program – the Ask BaadMaster feature!  

I had always wanted to spotlight more adventurous forms of play; surely enema play qualifies as such.  And luckily I had a question just waiting to be answered.  So, without delay, here is the query:

Reader: I am really interested in enemas. So far, I’ve been making do with a homemade one. I really want to create that gushing effect, but air keeps getting into the pipes. What should I do?

I liken enemas to buying a computer.  Macs have the coolest of designs.  But one must know how to use a computer before considering how neat looking it is.  As a beginner, you must first learn how to give an enema.  (Any article that links computers and enemas is worth reading! And unlike Apple,enema technology has not advanced much for quite awhile. 

Obviously, to get that “gushing effect,” you will have to use a good amount of water.  But what is a “good amount?”  If I tried to give you an exact amount in ounces, it might not be the correct amount for your submissive.  Intake capacity varies greatly between people.  Use too much fluid and it can cause excruciating pain.  Theoretically, too much fluid can actually explode the large intestine. Here is my system for determining the amount of liquid that is best for your submissive.  

Buy a bunch of the handy-dandy pre-packaged enemas.  These are small plastic squeeze bottles with the liquid already in it — the “ready to use” kind.  They cost a couple of bucks each, tops.  Usually they have a lubricated tip, which makes insertion easier.  Look for those with a one-way valve — this will help you eliminate pumping in air — which you already said you want to avoid.

The liquids that are included vary.  They can be phosphates — which are used for the relief of constipation.  I would avoid these; use the ones with saline.  Of course, you can replace the included liquid.  A quick list of popular enema fluids includes: milk, mild soap solution, warm distilled water, saline and even urine!  And never use water that is hotter than 105 degrees as you can scald the rectum.  You will find different effects with different liquids – and the “gushing” effect will vary with each.  Experimentation is the word here.

Make a note of the amount of liquid that the squeeze bottle contains.  Typically, they hold about four and a half ounces.  Now, for your first session, use only two bottles – about eight to nine ounces.  Practice doing it in such a way so as to avoid pumping air into the rectum.  This skill will serve you well in creating the gushing (love that word!) effect that you so desire.

At the next session, increase the amount – use up to four bottles.  If you are able to instill about a half a quart of fluid without any air getting in, you will more than likely begin to get the effect you are looking for.

If a half-quart is fine, go with it.  If not, you can still increase the amount of liquid. If there is any pain, stop!  By the time you get to eight bottles (about a quart) without any air, you will no doubt have reached your goal.  If you have achieved it with less, note that amount – this is the correct amount for your gushing effect.  Until you become skilled in the art – which includes knowledge of different fluids – don’t exceed two quarts of liquid.

If you still cannot give an enema without pumping air in, you can always massage the air out.  Have the sub sit on the floor, rolling slowly onto his/her side; then massage in such a way as to push the gas out.  This is a tricky maneuver; it is far easier just to learn to give an enema sans air. 

Once you finally master the art of giving a good enema (an EneMaster?) — you can look into the more exotic enema equipment.   And as these “enema bags” are never pre-measured affairs, you will need all your knowledge to use these devices properly. 

After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Erotica: The Public Meets The Monster

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*** All works of erotica are fictional and we NEVER condone anything that is not safe and consensual

It has been so long since I have slept in front of the fire.  You were even kind enough to give me a cushioned mat to curl up on.  My body shivers lightly.  I turn over so my back faces the flames.  It is odd that the fire is still going.  Did you stoke it throughout the night Sir?  I hope you were still able to get some sleep without worrying over me.

It is odd being out here Sir.  Normally, I lay at the foot of your bed.  I know your routine.  I know to move from my spot only once you are stirring awake.  You like your coffee right after you wake.  I prepare your shower and lay out your clothes.

But, out here, your door is shut.  I am not allowed to enter without permission.  I have upset you so much these last few days.  I do not wish to upset you further by not completing the morning routine.  Yet, I do not wish to intentionally break a rule and enter your domain without permission.

You are so quiet with me Sir.  Very little in the way of direction, and even less in the way of expectations.  I have learned by watching.  I have survived this long by watching, waiting, and anticipating.

I have made my decision Sir.  If you wanted me to complete my morning routine, you would have left the door open.  You may have even carried me into the room last night.  But I think this is the start of the punishment.  You told me that I needed to trust you and I needed to be honest with you.  I have not been quick to do either.

So, you have left me on my own for the night.  You have left me in the exact position I have demonstrated that I desire; alone.

I sit up on the cushion, pull my knees up to my chest, and stare blindly into the fire.  I have never wanted to be alone Sir.  I hope you know that.  I just have learned it is the best way to protect myself.  The more I scare people, and the more I make myself invisible, the happier they are to forget me.

It is the safer way.

I shake my head.  I do not wish to dwell on the horrors today.  You deserve my full attention Sir.  I have let Maker influence too many of our interactions.  I seek to push him from my mind, if only possible for today.

I know that I cannot kneel until you awake Master.  I greatly dislike admitting such faults.  Maybe, with time, I can correct the damage done to my body.  For now, I think it would be best to reflect on my behavior.  I have not been at my best, Sir.  

I know my place.  A good slave is invisible.  They are silent (or soft spoken if addressed).  You should never be able to hear me walk (or crawl) in or out of a room.  You should never need to call me.  I should always know when and where I should be (regardless of environment).  

Yet, I have been very lax in my behaviors.  I was trained better than this.  I feel the reminders left on my body as harshly as you see them.

I sit up, keeping my back to the fire, and cross my legs.  I take a deep breath, hold it for a few seconds, and slowly release.  My hands rest on my knees, palms facing upward.  My back stays straight and my head is up, though my eyes are closed.  I am in proper position to await you Sir, kneeling notwithstanding.

I do not know how long I have been sitting here Sir.  But your touch to the top of my head startles me slightly.  One day I will understand how you can walk so lightly in boots so heavy.

My eyes open and I lower my gaze down.  I am determined to be perfect for you, Master.

I sense you walk around me, inspecting me.  Once you sit down in your chair, I shift up onto my knees.  

“There’s my good girl.”

My body grudgingly blushes.  I do not feel like a good girl, and I am doing my best to not question you, even if only in my head.

“Eyes up pet.”  Your voice is firm but quiet.  I lift my eyes to yours.  “When it is just us, I expect you to wait for me with your eyes up.  I prefer eye contact.  I can see what you are thinking, and hiding, much easier.”

I meet your eyes.  This is difficult Sir.  I am half expecting you to backhand me for such forward behavior.  I am curious if you have set this rule previously or if this is specifically for me.  Of course, it does not matter either way.  You have ordered it; I shall obey it.

I see your arm move, but your hand is out of my eyeline.  I keep my eyes locked on yours and suppress the tremble that threatens to overtake me.  I can handle whatever you offer, Master.  I will make sure you never doubt that.  

I am startled slightly when I feel a tug on the ring of the collar around my neck.  The thick leather gives me little room to resist as you pull me forward.  My hands tighten on my knees, trying to stay upright and maintain the eye contact you have asked for.

“I have a gift for you.”

A gift?  That is a surprise.  I am sure my eyes reflect those thoughts as they widen in curiosity.  With Maker, surprises meant pain.  They meant a lot of blood and a lot of crying. But Master is much more kind.  I am nervous but not fearful, yet.  

You let the ring of the collar go.  My body sways back into position.  

Two snaps. 

That means eyes down.  I drop my eyes.

Your hands reach around, and I feel the lock of the leather being undone.  

Deep breath.  Trust.  That’s what you said Master.  I had to trust you.  That means no panicking.

The collar slides off and my palms are turned up once more to catch it.  I have never quite felt how heavy it is.  Then again, this is the first time I remember being without one on, Sir.  

Two snaps.  Eyes up.

Thank the Gods I understand your silence, Sir.

I am staring at the soft, velvet bag in your hands.  It is black with red lettering.  I wonder briefly if that is a monogram to your unspoken name Master.  Everyone has one.  Some of us just don’t get to use them anymore.

You open the drawstring and I see a metal band pulled out.  It is a new collar.  I am slightly confused.  Why the change Sir?

“Lay the leather across my knee and hold out your palms.”  I do as you ask.  “Meet my eyes.”  As you wish Sir.  

You lay the metal in my palms.  I am surprised that it is lighter than the leather.  Is that normal?  It has no lock that I can feel.  It also has no beginning or end.  It seems to be a solid circle of metal.

I resist the urge to look down, or away, from you.  You keep eye contact with silence.  It weighs heavy between us, and I bite the inside of my cheek to stay silent.  Have I told you how much silence scares me?  I probably should.

It can’t have been more than a minute of silence Sir.  Yet, when I felt the electricity dance across my palm as it races through the metal, I jump.  I did not expect such an action.

“Do you feel that pet?”  I nod.  You have not granted permission yet to speak.  “I have thought over your recent behavior.  Should you disobey, punishment will be swift and merciless.  You will curb your behavior.  Do you understand me, pet?”

I nod.

Two snaps.  Verbal answer it is.  “Yes, Sir.  I understand.”

You pluck the collar from my palms.  I watch you unlock it with a special key before you place it around my neck.  It is secured and I feel you place two fingers between the collar and my neck.  Good to know I won’t die by suffocation, Sir.

“I will use this as needed.”  I nod.  I expected as much.  “Now, we will deal with your impending punishment.”  I am not surprised that I have a different punishment waiting for me.  As much as I dislike it, I am thankful I do not need to wait much longer.  I just want this behind us Sir.  I want to start over.  I can be good Master.  I promise.

I could have only hoped that punishment would take place in your rooms.  But, no, that would not have been enough.  Crawling across the concrete is not even the hardest part, though it does leave my knees very tender.  It is the eyes of the others watching me.  You did not leash me, and my neck is bare enough to catch their attention.  I hear a few snickers.  They seem to recognize the collar and its purpose.

I think this place was built like a maze on purpose.  I have lost count of the number of turns we have taken.  All the hallways look identical.  It probably doesn’t help that most of what I am seeing is the grey concrete of the floor and the heels of your boots.  

We finally reach the destination.  You step only a few feet into the room, though I follow dutifully.

“Kneel up.”

I comply.  I take in the surroundings.  From this angle, looking into the room, there is minimal furnishings.  I see a large, wingback chair in the center of the wall, set slightly back than center.  A large cross is bolted to the wall on the left.  There were thick chains attached to the top of it.  

I watch you stride forward to the chair.  You sit down, your knees parting naturally.  

Two snaps.

I crawl forward until I am right in front of you, the room forgotten.  Your hand slides through my hair.  “Turn around and remain kneeling.”  I do so.  I feel you tug my hair.  It takes me a moment to realize you are braiding it.  I assume you do not want it in your way.  I can tell you are finished when I feel the braid bounce against my back after you’ve dropped it.

Your hand reaches around my face and tips my face back to see you.  Your hand wraps around my throat, firm but without pressure.  “You have committed three infractions against me pet.”  I remain silent.  Your hand slides from my neck and tips my face forward again.  I start to face it down and your voice stops me.  “Look forward pet.”

I do so and I see there is an audience.  I swallow.  This is not what I want.

“Tell them pet.  Tell them how you have shamed yourself.”  

I hesitate.

“Loud and clear pet.  I will not repeat myself.”

Deep breath.  “This girl did not truthfully answer Master regarding the state of her health.  This girl lost her temper with Master as though she was his equal.  This girl did not disclose her medical status to Master despite his order for complete honesty from his property.”  It takes all I am to face down the crowd watching us.  It had not quite sunk in until now how badly I fucked up.

I feel you rise.  In just a couple steps you are standing between myself and the audience.  “I can forgive a pet who forgets her place from time to time.  It is my duty to teach you, and keep you, in your place.  However, I do not forgive easily a slave who does not answer truthfully.  You are my property.  You do not get to decide what you will tell me.  I expect the truth, at all times.  Omission is lying.”

I have never heard you be so vocal Sir.  I have upset you greatly.  I do not like this.  I want to apologize.  I do not think it would matter at this point.  My words mean nothing currently.  Maybe by taking this, I will prove to you how I regret my actions.

“Bring the cage to the center of the room.”

I look around quickly, and spot it near the back, left corner of the room.  I crawl over to it.  It is large enough that I could fit inside.  You have not given me leave to stand.  I figure the only way I can do this is to drag it with me.  

I crawl backwards from it, only a couple feet or so.  I reach forward and hook my fingers in the bars.  I pull it towards me.  I was right Sir.  It is heavy when I have no leverage to assist me.  I move back a little more and pulled it to me again.  Over and over, I repeat the process.  Longer than I would have liked, I finally reach the center of the room where you are waiting.

I kneel next to the cage, facing you.  I await your next instructions.

“Stand and present.”  I do so, though much slower than I would have preferred.  My legs are numb, but they are still supporting my weight. “Turn and face your audience.” I turn, and while I stay in position, my eyes drop to the floor.  I know better than to make eye contact with any of the other Masters.

Deep breath.

I jumped slightly when my sight goes dark suddenly.  I can hear snickering, but I cannot see them anymore.  I have not decided it that is a good thing yet or not.  I feel a warm breath near my ear.  Lowly, you whisper, “You will learn to trust me slave.  It will start when you cry for me.” 

You stepped back.  

“Bend forward over the cage, pet.”  Cautiously, I do so.  It is an uncomfortable height to bend properly.  I feel your boot against my foot.  “Spread.”  You keep nudging my feet until the are spread just past my shoulders.  It eases the pain on my hips and back.  I think you are aware of that, even if the audience is not.

“You will hold yourself in position.  You will accept what I give and thank me when I am finished.  Do you understand?”

“Yes, Master.”  I made sure my voice was clear and easily heard.

The only warning I get is the whistle of the implement before it connects with my calf.  It is the cane.  I keep my mouth shut.  I refuse to give in so easy.  There is no warm-up with punishment.  Even less so when you are proving a point to his audience.  This is meant to hurt.  This is meant to serve as a reminder to never again be so careless.

Two. Three. Four.

You are deliberately keeping the hits from forming a rhythm.  It makes the hits much more intense.  The back of my calf is burning.

Five. Six. Seven.

My leg is shaking.  My attention is divided between keeping my leg still and trying not to tense before the next hit.

Eight. Nine. Ten.

My eyes are watering.  I do not like this.

Without hesitation, the hits move to my other calf.  The first one is just as hard as it was on the other side.

Two. Three. Four.

I understand why you chose my calves Sir.  

Five. Six. Seven.

I did not tell you that my legs go numb.  If I can function without feeling, and without telling you, then you will make sure I can feel this punishment.  I can.

Eight. Nine. Ten.

I am gripping the cage tightly.  My whole body is shaking.  You did not tell me to count but I have been keeping track in my head.  It is helping me focus.  Just because my legs are occasionally numb (and paralyzed), does not mean I feel anything less.  In fact, it often makes the sensations more intense.

My breathing is harsh; it echoes around the room.  Everything is silent.  I am unsure anymore if there are still people watching or even where you have gone to Sir.  I do not feel you behind me anymore.

There is no warning this time either.  You have come back with a vengeance.  I cannot stop the grunt that passes my lips.  Have I ever told you how much I hate wooden paddles?  I despise them even more on the back of my thigh.

Two. Three. Four. 

There is more rhythm with this one.  I am unsure if it is because the paddle is heavier or if you are trying to help me breathe through the pain.

Five. Six. Seven.  

I am reaching my breaking point Sir.  I do not understand why I could face Maker so stoically, but I cannot do the same with you.

Eight. Nine. Ten.

My knees are shaking.  At this point, the only thing that has kept me from dropping to the floor is my grip on the cage.  My body is sweating profusely from the effort.

As with my calves, you took only a breath or two before switching thighs.  I feel the firm swat to my right thigh.  This makes 31 hits so far Sir.  How much farther are we going?

Two. Three. Four.

The blindfold is soaked with tears.  I am hiccupping from the sobbing.  It hurts Sir.

Five. Six. Seven.

It hurts.  Is this how bad I have hurt you by not being truthful?  Is that why it is so harsh?

Eight.

I don’t know how long I can continue to hold myself up Master.

Nine.

Please, Sir.  Please, can we be finished.  I clench my eyes shut.

Ten.

This rounds out another Ten.  I am sorry, Master.  I will not do this again.  

I cannot hear myself think anymore.  My body trembles.  I am biting my lip to try and calm the sobbing.  I can hear murmurs again.  There is no warm touch from you, Master, not this time.

“Stand up pet.”

I loosen my grip on the cage.  I can feel the indentations that have been left in my skin.  I trail the bars of the cage until I am sure my hands are on the top.  I push my upper body off the cage.  Without lifting my feet from the concrete, I slowly drag my feet back together.  

Deep, shuddering breath.  I can do this.

My body is on fire.  It protests loudly as I move.  But I bring myself up to a standing position.  I bring my hands to the back of my head, my elbows bent and outward.  My back is straight, my head is held high, and my gaze remains on the floor.  My chest is heaving.  My body is tired.

But I will take what you give, Master.  I will make you proud.  

“You have done well pet.  Five left.  You will stay in this position.  Is that clear?”  Your voice is firm.

“Yes, Sir.”  As soon as I confirm my understanding, you slip a piece of rope between my teeth.  

“Hold that firmly.”  I nod.

My back spasmed at the first lash.  It is the whip.  I fucking hate the whip.  So many bad memories attached to this type of punishment.  

Two.

My foot stepped forward reactively after the second lash.  Without a word, I put myself back into the position I started in. But it is too late.  I feel the electricity of the collar.  It lights my body on fire as my muscles tense.

Three.

My right knee gave out.  It hits the concrete hard, even as my hands come down to catch me.  I drop my head.  I am failing you now.  I am positive I can feel your disappointment.  I am ashamed I have broken position, but I refuse to stay down.  Slowly, I bring myself back up into position.  

Though you cannot see it, I close my eyes.  I grit my teeth against the rope, waiting for the electricity.  It is stronger than the first time.  My body feels like it is vibrating.  Only two more lashes to go.  

Four.

My hands tighten in my hair as I force my body to stay still.

Five.

The last one.  I am so sorry, Master.  

I feel one of your hands on the back of my neck as the other removes the length of rope.  My voice wobbles as I remember your instructions.  “Thank you, Master for correcting my behavior and reminding me of my place at your feet.”

 “You may drop your hands pet.”  Your hands move to release the blindfold.  I close my eyes against the onslaught of light.  “Address your audience pet.”

“This girl apologizes for her ill behavior.  This girl has learned her lesson and endeavor to give exemplary service to Master going forward.”

Two Snaps.  I kneel.

“Clean up after yourself while I take care of some business.”

“Yes, Master.”

I see you walk towards to hall.  I try not to dwell on your actions. Is it selfish to want you to hold me Sir?  Even when I have been so disobedient? I shake my head slightly and return my focus to my task.  I push the cage forward.  I move it a few inches before crawling forward and pushing it again.  It takes me far longer than I care to admit, but it makes it back to its spot against the wall.  

I turn and crawl back to the chair.  I raise up on my knees to wait for you.  My thighs and calves are throbbing and when they touch it gets worse.

Before long, I see you come back.

Two snaps.

I turn to face you.  I am proud that I remember to meet your eyes.  You pat your knee.  I smile slightly, without showing teeth.  I lay my head down on your knee and am relieved when your fingers start toying with my hair.

“You have done well pet.  I am proud of you.”

I make a small, content noise.  Thank you, Sir.  It brings me peace to hear that.  I live to make you happy.

“Lay out for me pet.  Face down, arms at your sides.”

I do as you ask.  I appreciate that you always let me keep my hands at my side.  One day I will remember to mention that to you.  I am internally relieved that my body stays lax when your hands touch me.  I can feel something cold and smooth being spread across my skin.  It soothes the pain minimally.  Your hands apply even pressure as they move.  I am grateful for your attention.

When you stop, I am loath to move.  Regardless of the cold concrete, my body has fully relaxed.  Hopefully I will not become too stiff tonight.  “Stay.”  Who am I to argue with your instructions, Sir?

I can hear you moving around, even with your footfalls as light as they are.  I hear the clinking of metal.  What are you doing, Sir?

“Come here pet.”  I struggle to push myself up from the floor and look to find where you are.  You are by the cage.  I cock my head to the side in confusion but dutifully crawl forward.  When I reach you, your fingers slide down the side of my face, and you cup my cheek.

“Tonight, you sleep here.  I want you to think over everything that has happened and the punishment that you have endured.  I will let you choose pet.  If you cannot see yourself fully submitting to me, and trusting me, I will give you the option to go back up to auction.”  

My eyes widen.  My heart races with panic.  No. No. No.

Your thumb brushes my lips, and you shush me.  “Do not answer me tonight pet.  Tonight, you need to be honest with yourself.  Tomorrow, you will be honest with me.”  

Two snaps.  

I look up at you.  I see you smile but there is something in your eyes I cannot quite place.  I feel your hands reach for the back of the metal collar. I bring my palms up to hold it, should you need.  You drop the collar into my hands.  I feel the leather collar take its place and I have never felt such relief.  Once it is locked, you step back.

“It is time.”  You step around me to stand at the open cage door.  I crawl the couple feet to the entrance.  I turn to face you but keep my eyes down this time.  Without hesitation, I give into an impulse.  If this is my last night with you, then I want you to clearly understand what your kindness means to me.

I lean forward, and I kiss your left boot three times.  Then I kiss the right, also three times.  I place my forehead on the concrete and say very clearly, “thank you Master.”  No matter how my body (and my mind) are pained by what has transpired, I am grateful for your correction.  After a moment of silence, I lift my head and crawl into the cage.  You have been kind enough to line it with a warm blanket and pillow.  Once I am settled, I hear the lock snick into place.

I stare up at you as you rise.

“Think about what I have said pet.  Tomorrow, when I ask, I expect you to have an answer.”

With that, the light is extinguished.  I am alone in the dark once more.

Curling on my side, one of my hands comes up to rub the leather of my collar.

Maybe I don’t have to be alone anymore.

This week in kink: August 9, 2021

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