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An Inside Look At Pet Play

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It has been nearly two years since the first time Master called me Pig.

We were sitting in a Leather class at a local convention and the Leatherman teaching the class introduced both himself and his wife/slave (who could not attend for health reasons).  He explained that she was his girl and she identified as a Pig.

Naturally, someone asked why.

His answer still rings in my ears today. “Because she squeals when I hit her.”  He laughed.  He said that was their favorite response to the question.  I do not remember most of his definition of why she identified as a pig.  I remember key words.  Tenacity.  Durability. Loyalty.

Master did not hesitate in leaning over and whispering in my ear that it sounded like me.  In an instant, I was blushing, and I hid my face in his shoulder, shaking my head slightly.  I was embarrassed.  

Each time he brought it up that weekend, I adamantly refused him.  

When I finally accepted his new name for me, I corrected him.  I am not a pig.  I will never be a pig.  But I would happily, and bashfully, be his piggie.

There are two defining reasons for this distinction.  

Growing up, my Great Graa and Graa (short for grandmother) were my best friends.  For the first eight years of my life, I spent more time with them than my parents.  They referred to our trio as the “Pig Women.”  While I was never told why Great Graa gave us that nickname, it is still something I hold dear.  It is also something I choose to keep separate from the darker side of my kink journey.

The second are my own experiences growing up.  

I am not a traditional beauty.  I have, only in recent years, come to accept that I am beautiful in my own way.  I have never been desired by anyone who did not use me for their own gain.  I was bullied, lied to, manipulated, used, and abused by those I had chosen to trust as friends.  I have spent my life overweight.  I have struggled through eating disorders, self- harm, and mental disorders.  I have continually shied away from anything that negatively related to any of those struggles.  For me, the term Pig has ugly connotations that refer to my weight struggles and my non-traditional looks.  It is a time of my life I am not eager to relive.

Throughout my journey in kink, I have discovered strengths in myself that I never thought possible.  I found I could take heavy impact play.  In fact, I craved it.  I adopted the term masochist to define my love and craving for such rough play.

I reveled in making people cringe when they watched us play.

But it wasn’t until Master introduced me to humiliation and degradation play that I found my place.

Where I could take a beating quietly, and I could banter back to tease him, humiliation would reduce me to tears in a matter of minutes.  The first time we delved into it as the main part of play, He thought he broke me.  The scene lasted about ten minutes.  The aftercare took more than a half hour.  

The end of that scene found me kneeling, unable to speak, tears rolling down my cheeks, and unaware of anything around me, including the presence of Master.

I have never felt more liberated than I had after that.  My demons felt less oppressive and my mood was lighter.

From that point, we have pushed against all of my perceived boundaries.  We use my fears to amplify the intensity of a scene.  We take my insecurities, and he criticizes me for them in play.  He has taught me that when I kiss his boots to end said scene, the insecurities stay there.  By adding them to play, they plague me less in my everyday life.

I have found a deep love of foot and boot worship.  I find it relaxing and arousing, and absolutely humiliating.  Worship has the flexibility to allow me to play sensually just as easily as I play rough.  For example, kissing his boots to end a scene is comforting.  It allows me to reconnect with Master.  Removing his boots after a long day of work reminds me of my place.  Polishing his boots allows me to care for him and show my pride in my service.  Yet, licking the dirt from his boots as he degrades my skills, both arouses and breaks me.  It makes me try harder, push more, and lose myself in our play.  

What I find most ironic, is that I can explain the humiliation I have willingly suffered, but the idea of expressing what piggie means to me, has left me struggling to put the thoughts to paper.

So, let me start back at the beginning.

As I said, I was embarrassed.  But I was also confused.

I am not, nor will I ever be, a pet.

Master is not, nor will he ever be, a handler or an owner.

So, how then, could I be a pig and yet not be a pet?

Pet play is when someone roleplays as a domesticated animal.

I do not find this definition to be all encompassing, just based on the pets I do know.  For them, pet play is also a headspace.  This is where they often take on the characteristics of the animals they relate to.  For example, the kittens tend to enjoy curling up, purring, being petted, meowing, etc.  They may have their ability to talk restricted since “animals do not speak English.”  Some enjoy being placed on a leash and playing with toys.

The first time I was introduced to pet play, it involved Pony Play.  Specifically, it involved “Show Ponies.”  Then I was introduced to Puppies.  Then Kittens.  At this point, I have met foxes, bunnies, and even a lizard.  You truly can be whatever you wish to be.  

**For reference, I was introduced through friends.  I did not partake in the activities myself.

Most often, Pet Play varies from animal to animal.  

Let’s look at the most common animals: Ponies, Puppies, and Kittens.

Ponies, for example, tend to work on their walks (such as cantering).  But even this varies.  Some ponies are trained to pull carts.  Sometimes their trainer rides the carts and sometimes it is for labor purposes.  Ponies are one animal that undergo more formal training than other animals.  

For example, when leading a pony, a trainer should stand on the left of them, with a 12-18in gap of lead between them, to lead the pony.  This is similar to the etiquette of leading a bio-horse.  Keeping the lead slack if the pony is behaving and tightening it when they disobey.  A sharp tug can stop an errant pet in their tracks.

If you are teaching them “tying,” the process reflects teaching a puppy to stay.  A ground tie simply means your pony has reigns and/or lead on but is able to remain standing at a point you have left them without requiring them to be tied to a post so they do not wander off.  

It starts with a proper stance. The pony should stand squarely, his weight distributed evenly on both legs.  His front hooves and fore hooves should be hanging straight down.  His head should be held up, his back should be straight, and he should remain looking ahead of him.  Once he has mastered the stance, the trainer will slowly work on teaching them to stay.  Depending on the pony, this can be a lengthy process.  Positive reinforcement is the recommended way to train but a good swat on the ass if they aren’t listening never went awry.  You may wander a few feet after telling them to stay.  If they do as you have instructed, you should move back to them and then reward them.  You can give them a treat, pet them, and/or tell them what a “good boy” they are.  If they have disobeyed, pick your poison for correction.  It could be a tug on the reigns, a verbal reprimand, or a swat to the ass.  Repeat this process, moving a little further each time, until they have demonstrated their understanding of the command.

The Ground tie training helps with the next step of training.  Ponies are expected to be able to stand still for longer periods of time (i.e. more than fifteen minutes).  Fidgeting, pulling, or pawing is considered undesirable.  A pony should be able to sink into their identity and hold themselves with calm confidence.  The best I can describe it as is a deep meditative state.  

Pony training is a long process that requires a deep love and dedication to your desired role.

Puppies tend to be very enthusiastic, play fetch, and tend to be social.  I have had a little more interaction with puppies than I have ponies.  They are my personal favorites.  I find the happy energy that puppies exude to be contagious and I find there to be a little more freedom in their interactions with outsiders.  I am also a sucker for a cute puppy and do so love to pet them (with their and their owner’s consent).  

Puppy play is often a direct reflection of what a bio-dog likes.  Most puppies enjoy playing fetch.  They enjoy tug of war and catch. They love being petted, belly rubs, and, of course, treats.  I find puppies to be exceedingly loyal as well.

They can be trained with commands through the use of German words (as Service dogs are trained), sign language or hand signals, or through the native language of the pup.

Puppy play varies from person to person.  It depends on what they enjoy, disabilities the pup may have, opportunity to play, and so forth.

Kittens are far more introverted and tend to be calmer. In our local community, we have eight people who identify as kittens.  The leading theme is that they also identify as littles and brats.  While these identities are not mutually exclusive, in my experience, they often intermingle. From what I have been told, the mindsets are similar.

I find that kittens and puppies also tend to have behavior corrected with BDSM-related discipline.  

Let’s break this down a little bit further:

The wider umbrella term of this kink is called “Animal Play.”  The definition is the same as Pet play, but it tends to refer to non-domesticated animals.  Cows and Pigs fall under this type of play.

A furry fetish refers to an interest in animals with human-like tendencies and features. Indulging in this fetish might involve drawing these characters, wishing to become them, or interacting with other furries in online communities.

Although often mistaken as such, Primal play is not inherently animal play.  It revolves around getting in touch with your baser, and more animalistic, instincts.  While I have met some who relate to animals, such as wolves, it is more about power than being an animal.

Each of these sub-categories can include sexual aspects.  It is purely up to the negotiations and consent of those involved on whether sex is included or not.

Then there is Piggie.

Piggie is born of humiliation.  

I talk about her as though she is a separate being.  Because, in my mind, she is.

Piggie has her own headspace.  It isn’t animalistic to me.  It is a quiet headspace.  It makes it difficult for me to speak with words and I am often reduced to a low whining sound, from the back of my throat.  I find that the boundaries of my limits blur so heavily, I struggle to remember that they exist. While Piggie prefers to crawl, there is no limit to standing or sitting.  

When we started this, Master only called me it occasionally in an effort to embarrass me.  He said my reaction was cute when he brought it up.  This was not limited to in-person teasing.  He would often tease me through text as well, and it was no less impactful.

Then it showed up in a scene.

It is hard to remember exactly how it happened.  But sometime during our play, he referred to me as his piggie.

Later on, I asked him why.  He wasn’t sure.  He said it felt right in the moment.  Slowly, over that next year, the name would appear more and more.

I asked again.

He said it was because I am always “down to get dirty.”  When I asked for clarification, he said that I had little inhibitions when it came to play.  Whatever he wanted to try, no matter how humiliating or ‘dirty,’ I would whole-heartedly explore.

I considered it a compliment at that point.  

Then came the oink.

During one of our scenes, maybe 9 months ago, he ordered me to oink for him.  For those of you who read my stories, you can imagine what happened.  I stared him down, in complete silence, and I pursed my lips.  I silently refused to oblige him.

So, he pushed me.  He put my body through impact that was meant to break my resolve.  Without a word, I knew that I was either going to oink or safeword by the end of that scene.  I just had to figure out which option I was taking.

Over time, “oink” has become a safeword on its own, at least to me.  We have scenes now that do not end until I utter that word.  While it has never actually replaced my safeword, I know that when I have to choose between “oink” or “Red”, I will always utter “oink.”   

**It is important that I specify that we have never negotiated oink as a safeword.  The feeling of it is solely based around how I feel in the moment.  Making me oink is a form of humiliation, especially because I struggle so hard against it.  As with anything, there are exceptions to the rule.  We have continued play after I utter the word.  He has had me utter it over and over and over again, just to see me curl in on myself in embarrassment.

I have discovered that pushing myself to the point of oinking fucks with my head.  It strips me of my humanity.  It reinforces my natural reactions in subspace.

I am one who gets exceedingly quiet during play.  The further I get into subspace, the worse it gets.  It has been an on-going process to learn to answer Master verbally, in and out of play.  But, once I move into service mode, I stay quiet.  By the time I hit subspace, I lose the ability to speak at all.  It is as though I have forgotten how.  I stop understanding English.  I forget my own name.  I lose the ability to safeword at all.  

Master says I become catatonic.

Except, I can still be of service.  I can continue to function on autopilot and meet Master’s needs, but I cannot do it independently and of sound mind.  There have been many times that he has had to call the scene when I hit that point.  My trust in his ability to take care of me is infallible.  That is what allows us to explore such extreme mind fuckery without fear of permanent repercussions.

I explored pet play because that’s where everything leads.  When you look up “pig” or “piggie,” you either end up with pet play or food play as a result.  Neither of these fits what I am.

So, now I get to ask you the same questions I asked myself.

How can I be a piggie, if I am not a pet?

The answer is easier to express now.  It is because being a piggie is simply who I am.  The attributes I have given her are a part of me.  

I do not need to take on the roles of the animal itself.

I do not need gear (though we are exploring the absolute humiliation that occurs when I shake my 8-inch springy tail).  My talking is never restricted, nor is my ability to walk. 

 Being Piggie is not a headspace that I must achieve.  

Piggie just is.

She thrives in my humiliation the degradation of my everyday self.  She sets out to please, by any means necessary.  She has little in the way of reservations and finds pleasure in watching my inhibitions disappear.

Piggie is born from a desire to be humiliated and degraded by Master. Piggie is…Me.

My name is Joji.  I am 29 years old currently and I have been in and around the kink community about 15 years.I am a collared submissive to Magick42.  I am also a Daddy to a wonderful babygirl, and have been for more than three years now and I find it very fulfilling.  I am being mentored in and being taught electroplay.  I am a masochist at heart and thoroughly love impact play, especially caning.  I enjoy reading anything I can get my hands on and am a die hard Harry Potter and Doctor Who fan.  I am also the secretary for a group in Idaho called Moscow S.P.A.R.K.E (Simply Providing Another Route to Kink Education).  It is our mission to teach safe practices to those new to the community and give them a safe haven to ask questions and learn without judgement.  We accept all kinks and all we ask in return is respect between all our members.

Edging, Orgasm Training, and Orgasm Denial In A D/s Relationship

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Want to learn more about orgasm denial?

Want to orgasm on command?

Want to consensually control your submissive’s pleasure?

Then, check out this informative video from Sam with Kinky Assignments!

Edging, Orgasm Training & Orgasm Denial in a D/s relationship

Tink Was Next Off The Auction Block

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***all works of erotica are fictional. We never condone anything that is not consensual.

Tink was next off the auction block. I knew everyone here was there freely. I did do a double take when I saw her in the line. She wasn’t a woman you missed, Her short wavy hair shimmered with a green hue. I wondered if anyone here knew she was a cop. She’s the cop that goes around to the schools to talk about street smart. The most distinguishing thing about her was her back tattoo it was the tree of life filled with versions of cartoon characters. There was something very twisted about a cop named tink with the love of all things childlike. As I watched her step onto the block I couldn’t help but wonder what she had warned that evening. Her makeup illuminated her face her manicure and pedicure were like punctuation marks on the points of her body and her athletic body was tanned to the most perfect Hue of Carmel. I looked at her and thought I could worship that mouth and those thighs for days. But that’s not what she was here for tonight. She was here to let go to release to be a slave to her own pleasure and pain. 

Her nipples stayed taught as the handler used a riding crop to force her to turn around. He slid the crop in front of her sex and forced a Yelp as he smacked it. One of the Ds forced her to bend over and slid a firm thumb across her anus pulsating ever so slightly to see if you could get a reaction. He slid his fingers through to her sex and she winced with his roughness. The handler called, “gentlemen nobody likes secondhand merchandise, eyes and inspection touch only. Alright girl assumed the position. She stood with her feet shoulder with apart her fingers laced behind her head and her head dropped so that all who wanted to, could, inspect her in her exposed natural beauty. 

“This exquisite slut is here for tonight only. She has chosen the charity which she will submit for starting bids are $550 and that will get you two hours.”

The Doms looked at each other, and raised eyebrows at the starting price and limit of time. While the other three were considering their options leather D got up from the couch and walked towards the diminutive powerhouse. “I don’t know, but I think I might like to see if I can break this little doll. She looks like she could be a lot of fun and worth the time and money. “

The older D with a beard like Kenny Rogers spoke up, “now hold on there leather we let you have your phone we stayed and played quietly and watched perspective now it’s our turn those were the rules one at a time.”

“I’m not saying anything disrespectful I’m just saying I think Little Miss tank here might be worth the money handler would you say the opening bid was again? “

Handler tapped Tink on the ass, so that she would stick her tits out more. He murmured something quietly to her and a broad smile came across her face. “all right boys there’s enough of me to go around double the price double your pleasure.” The handler looked at the gentleman and said, “you heard her boys she knows the money is going to a good cause. You can share but you both pay the same no deals not like Fuckwad got stuck with.”

KennyD quipped, “I’d be good with getting in on that share and share alike after all.” He stood in front of her watching as the coloured lights made her hair shimmer and her face luminescent. “So what are what are her heard nos?” he picked up the tag and read it out loud, “no ball gag and no hair pulling. Now that’s a new one never met a slave who had an issue with having their hair pulled, but alright sounds good. I’ll start 550.”

“Now let’s be clear here. For 550.00 you got’ta share ‘er there has to be another bidder- if you want to keep her to yourself 1100 disturbed that’s what she’s offering.”

The shortest of the four Doms in the oversized hoodie with his face hidden waved a hand and withdrew from the circle. KennyD, LeatherD, and DeadheadD were still in. The were stroking and grabbing their crotches, while the handler talked about the smoothness of her skin the perkiness of her breasts and the firmness of her ass. He took the crop along the bottom of her ass a tap to make it jiggle. She perked her ass as though asking for the smack. But the smack never came. “OK gentlemen we have 550 is it 550 alone or do we have a pair?” Deadhead D looked down the line at the three other slaves and then back at her, he didn’t say anything, but it was easy to tell he had something else in mind. In the corner of my eye I could see Fuckwad kneeling next to the couch and his cock was growing hard. He had just been used and taken for over an hour while the others watched and now, he was excited and wanting more. 

Leather looked at Kenny, “What do you say Bud you want to share?” Can you took a step back and put his hands in his front pockets with his thumbs hung out I never noticed that he was wearing cowboy boots before that very moment it made my nickname from all the funnier the next thing he was going to start singing Lucille. Well leather I’m thinking I might like to just do this piece of *** myself I think she needs some serious training not a whole lot of nose but their bodies got a whole lot of yes isn’t it, don’t darling I think I want to see if I can make this one squiggle just a little bit. Alright handler $1200 and she’s mine for two hours. Start the Clock I want my money’s worth.”

“Yes Sir.” Handler tipped his head to me I picked up the stop watch hit start and hung it on the nail next to where I was sitting. I didn’t speak I made a note in my book and gave a thumbs up. This was my purpose I was the keeper of things and Holder of secrets. 

Kennedi wasted no time switching into D mode. He yanked her by her collar and said knees. She was on all four and waiting for commands. he took the crop from the handler and smacked her on the thigh indicating forward movement she began to crawl, and he hit her again forcing her to speed up. “Move it skank, you’re the one who said time was money I want my money’s worth get your fucking ass over there and in the air.” Tink scurry to cross the carpets with her head down and moving as quickly as she could. A Ping pong ball bounced off the far wall and Kenny called fetch. Tink scampered towards the ball and picked it up in her mouth. Her knees had to be burning. She hesitated but a moment before she made her way back to him. she held her chin up presenting her Master for the night with the ball she had just retrieved.

“Let’s try that again and with feeling this time he tossed the ball and it ricocheted from one wall to the other forcing tank to turn quickly and temporarily lose her balance. 

“You are the most ungraceful cow I have ever seen in my entire life. I’m not very pleased. Obviously, you need some training come heal. She retrieved the ball and made her way back to his side holding her face up to give him the ball. her face was red from exertion. 

If you are going to act like a dumb bitch, that’s what I am going to treat you like. Get that ass of yours in the air, he said, and he swatted her thigh with the crop he had taken from the handler. 

He squat down and looked her in the eye, “Are you a bitch?” His words were hard and deep, not playful.

“Yes, sir,” Smack then a booger in her face. 

“Dogs can’t talk, now let’s give you your first reminder of your natural state, “bark if you understand.” 

She barked a slight noise, but it was barely audible.

Smack on the other cheek, “I said bark”

It was louder this time. 

Maybe this will help inspire a nice bitch bark. He had a large anal plug with a tail. He spit in his hand and lubed up her ass. He used his finger to wake her sex while pressing is thumb on her but hole waiting for it to loosen. He smoothed and massaged her ass until he could feel her clit swell. All the while he spoke to her like he was prepping a bitch in heat to breed. When a moan was emitted from her throat, he stopped and grabbed her by the throat. “how fucking dumb are you? Dogs don’t moan, they bark. 

He lifted her by the jaw until she was standing up. Spread those check before I punish you for forgetting your place. She bent forward and opened her ass to him. He lubed up the plug and slid it in. The fur tail hung between her legs and she continued to hold her cheeks open. She yapped when he smacked her ass with his open hand. The impact actually made her hop forward. That was a mistake. 

“Stupid bitch,” a rolled up new paper appeared out of nowhere. I scanned the area and could remember seeing it before. KennyD adjusted his cock, you could see it fill the front of his pants pushing to escape its fabric prison. I couldn’t help but wonder of he was going to rub her nose in his crotch and say, look what you did, bad puppy.

With the rolled-up newspaper he swatter her behind at least a half dozen times. She fought to not move but he was strong, and she was fighting gravity. She stayed in character and yipped like a dog with each smack. With the final smack he said, “let’s try this again,” he tosses the ball and she scampered as fast as she could chasing the ball until it came to rest, she picked it up with her mouth and brought it back heel, so the tail laid across the bottoms of her feet. KennyD patted the top of her head and unzipped his trousers. A thick 7 -inch member unfolded and stood at full attention. I stopped chatting with the others and gave that beautiful piece of manhood the respect it deserved. “Oh! I would be so ok with that sliding down the back of my throat.” I said to no one in particular. LeatherD laughed and smacked Fuckwad in the head for laughing too.

KennyD cooed at her, come get your treat, pup.” I figure she must have impressed him; he had softened ever so slightly. She rose up on her knees and put she hand up like paws and stuck out her tongue await his cock. 

“Good girl he said as he slid the tip along her tongue and filled her mouth. She sucked him hard, you could see her check draw in and the sucking and gagging noises filled the air.  He face -fucked her and the pace was vicious, she chocked, but kept her paws up. His hand held the top of her head and he rocked his hips while she gagged and salivated. Just as his gyrations were staccato, he stopped. He pushed her back by the forehead, careful not to grab her hair. He looked her in the eyes as saliva ran down her chin, “Green?”

She yapped and smiled. He reached behind and grabbed a leash and clipped it on. He led her to the cross. He had two straps and a cordless wand. He arranged the wand to be against her clitoris  and then He strapped her ankles and wrists to the Saint Andrews cross with her pert little *** in all its glory holding a puppy dog tail. 

“Alright you ***** let’s see what you’re really made of. Don’t come without my permission. She yapped in response and nodded her head to show she understood. he stood close and used his hands to caress her from tip to toe. he massaged her ass and played with her sex until she whimpered. he turned the wand on its lowest setting and retrieved the floggers with 18-inch falls. He dragged the falls across her back and over her sides awakening her flesh in anticipation of what was to come. He asked the handler to double check that the wand was in place. The handler melt on the other side of the cross and double checked Kenny D’s handiwork. The wand was barely pressed against her clitoris and labia. The handler nodded in approval and stepped back out of the scene. He asked Tink for her safe words and he began to slap the air with the paired of floggers.

“I’m going to do 10 impacts aside and then increase the intensity for five if you want me to stop say so.” The floggers impact was slow and each one covered the entire T of her back from opposite directions. She whimpered and urged into the awaiting falls after the 8th she rose on her toes in the first attempt to escape the impact. Her back was red and slightly striped. He approached kissed her shoulders and rubbed the awakened flesh. He had laid one flogger across her shoulder in order to inspect her pussy. he whispered in her ear as though there was no one else in the world. Asoft long kiss sat on her shoulder as he heightened her pleasure and awakened her orgasm . After several minutes, He retrieved the flogger looked at the crowd and said she wants another 20, but this time it will be her entire back. KennyD began rotating the floggers again filling the air with their whistling. The first few impacts barely touched her skin but you could feel the sting even from across the room he slowly worked his way with the first 5 aside up her back for the next 5 he varied his approach so that the entire 18 inches wrapped across her back from either direction. As he did this you could watch her sexual intensity increase. 

“do you want to come ??”

The puppy whimpered and shook its tail in order to indicate that sexual gratification was wanted. 

“If you do I have to stop and there won’t be any cock, “he said laughing.

she forgot herself, and said, “no thank you please keep going.”

“What was that ?”

a series of yaps and barks were heard as Kenny’s laughter filled the room. They were in the zone there was nobody else there as far as they were concerned. 

“You still have 10 more?”

She said nothing.

Smack the flogger whipped across her back, she arced and drew a deep breath with the shock.

“Let’s try that again, you have 10 more! “

She yapped in agreement. He drew close wrapping his arm around to the wand and increasing the intensity. She rose to escape the sexual torture. He used the weight of his body to hold her in place and ensure her body was still responding to the exotic attention. He backed away and told her to bark out the final 10. she did as she was told as the wand distracted the lashings intensified the building of her orgasm just as her body had wanted to begin to move in response to her sexual awakening the flogging was done and he had turned off the wand. She had been left on the edge of orgasm and completely unaware of the world around her. He undid the straps lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed in the dark corner of the basement where they stayed well after the two hours were up .

Orgasm Control

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This is a question that is self-explanatory.  So here it is:

Reader: Orgasm control and denial are topics of interest for me. I’ve heard lots of good things, but also that it can cause negative side effects. What do you think? Any tips?

First things first.  Can denial produce negative effects?  Many old wives’ tales suggest this to be true.  Some claimed that too much sex is bad; others said that denial is the road to ruination.  In the Reefer Madness era, believe it or not, there were even ones that said you would go blind if you masturbated excessively.  Yet the worst that happened to me is that I wear contact lenses.  Negative effects from orgasm control are a similar urban sex legend.  Sexual denial usually produces no negative effects — other than causing fewer orgasms in your life. Albeit bigger ones!

The purpose of orgasm manipulation is basically to make for better, bigger more intense orgasms.  (Sounds like a late night TV advertisement for the Orgasmotron – but wait, there’s more!)  Most of us practice a form of orgasm control even in the vanilla sex world. — most men delay orgasm for as long as possible to increase mutual pleasure.  But in BDSM, we have raised this to an art form.  Let’s look at the two major classes of devices used in orgasm control – the “chastity belt” and the “cock cage”.

Since many things old become new, the chastity belt for females is making a comeback.  As we become a more  egalitarian society, it was only natural to expect chastity devices to be equally available to all sexes. Or to put it into Mad Men advertising language, “Chastity devices ain’t just for men anymore.”  The effect of a chastity belt worn by a submissive – both from a role play point of view and a control perspective – can be awesome.  Recently, lightweight plastic/composite belts have replaced the old bulky leather/metal ones; these high-tech belts are not the heavy locked affairs of Elizabethan times.  These modern versions are a unique (although expensive) way for a Dominant to establish the ultimate in orgasmic and sexual control. 

The cock cage too has felt the advancement of technology in its development.  From the early plastic versions (the CB 2000) to the modern stainless alloy types, just like face-masks, they are available in a myriad of designs.   (Once this pandemic is over, you can use your spare face-masks for BDSM play!)  But whether  used for pleasure or punishment – or anything in between – ultimately the aim of such devices is to make your play more exciting.  

There is no doubt that sexual denial can increase horniness.  (Just go to a singles bar on a Friday right after work.)  But if you practice sexual denial on purpose, you can increase the anticipation and raise the sexual excitement to a fevered pitch.  “Don’t masturbate (or have sex) until I see you next week” is a popular Dominant’s technique that can turn the submissive into a horny, sex-crazed obsessive by the time they see each other.  

Another technique of orgasm control is that of bringing a submissive to the brink of climax over and over again.  Whether ending in a “ruined orgasm” or a “super orgasm,” this “tease and denial” technique can be done over a period of hours (or days…WOW!) and can be excruciatingly exciting.  Coupling BDSM play with “tease and denial” in a s scene a great way to produce explosive orgasms.

There is one area I have left to last – the legendary training of a submissive to “cum on command.”  This has an almost mythic quality to it; it appears to be the ultimate Dominant achievement.  I have heard tales of a Master being able to order his slave to cum via telephone and the slave doing so without even touching herself.  I personally have never witnessed this; nor have I ever achieved this feat.

What I have done is to train a submissive to become extremely sexually excited via a voice command.  The training technique I use is to deny orgasm over a period of time, thus building a heightened state of arousal.  Then you link your voice command to this excited state – by stating your command at the time of highest sexual arousal.  This conditioned response training is one way to get closest to making the submissive “cum on command.”  And maybe, using this technique over a period of time, it can actually be accomplished.

As with all my suggestions, they are just that – suggestions.  So let me know your experiences.  Good luck!

After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Topping From The Bottom

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If you were wondering about the #9357, it refers to the fact that there are likely 9357 lifestylers debating “Where does topping from the bottom start and where does it end?’ This is the bondage equivalent of debating, “Who is better Tom Brady or Drew Brees?”  Or, “Who is the better singer, Adele or the late Whitney Houston?”  (Brady, Houston!)  These are unanswerable, subjective opinion questions that can entertain you for hours, but there really is no definitive answer,  Similarly, this week’s “Ask BaadMaster” question lacks a definitive answer – it does have within it many opinions as answers that will give your BDSM journey some great signposts.  So, here it is:  

Reader:  I am a collared female submissive.  Every time I ask my Dom for something, like a McDonald’s hamburger, or make any of my “wants” known, he tells me I am “topping from the bottom,” and punishes me.  Is he right?

Before I can hazard a guess, I would have to know certain details of your relationship. At the very least, is this is a negotiated relationship or a less formal D/s union.  (There are many articles on “Negotiation” here on kinkweekly.com . Just search “Negotiation” and many great articles come up.  And not are all mine!) The beauty of D/s is that you can negotiate in advance the structure of the relationship.   For example, if a “slave contract” were signed in a high protocol union, (again, see the “Slave Contract” piece), most times the contract begins with something like, “The slave agrees to obey her Master in all respects. Her mind, body, heart and time belong to Him.”  If this is the case, the way the slave asked for her hamburger is the determinant whether the Dom is right or wrong.  If she said, “There’s a MickeyD’s, pull in, I’m hungry” she might have been “topping from the bottom” depending on the terms in the contract.  On the other hand, it is the Master’s obligation (also in many contracts) “to feed her if she is hungry.” So, if he was not feeding her and, out of hunger and frustration, she said “get me a burger,” the Master is not only at fault, he is also an idiot.  “Feed your slave” is commandment number one!

Most Doms can not read minds (although many act as though they can), so there must always be a way for a slave to express her needs.  This is called protocol, as in “Master, or Sir, may I…?”  Now if the slave says “Master, may slave have a cheeseburger?” and he calls this topping from the bottom, he is dead wrong.  

Most times, these kinds of problems arise when people jump into a D/s relationship without the proper understanding or expectations.  For example, a relatively new “slave” signs her first contract and after a while, she gets sick of asking, “Master, may I…?” and longs for her vanilla ways. “Gimme a Big Mac” seems a much easier way to get what she wants.  It is up to the Master to correct these habits – or give the slave off time where she can talk in a less formal way.  But even with a lot of free time she  finds all this structure a drag, it is time for her to give up the slave routine. 

In a Master/slave or Dom/sub relationship, protocol and communication are paramount.  Wants must be made known, using the proper protocol of a negotiated D/s relationship.  The Dom should not have to read his sub’s mind.  The sub cannot be expected to be a silent statue waiting for her Dom to figure out what she needs.  If she is hungry, she must be able to let him know other than by looking malnourished.

On the other hand, many new Doms think they are Lord and Master and any request made by their sub is “topping from the bottom.”  Wrong – on two counts.  One, it is wrong, duh!  Two, keep this up long enough and slave will become ex-slave.

After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

The Company You Keep Matters-Even In The BDSM Scene

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I hope you have been enjoying Rika’s Lair, my monthly column dedicated to thoughts and experiences  regarding power dynamics in Service-Oriented D/s relationships. Look up “Ms. Rika” in the search box  for links to all of my articles in KinkWeekly!  

“You are not responsible for what your friends do, but you will be judged by the company you  keep. The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.” – Colin Powell (and several others) 

“Tell me what company you keep and I’ll tell you what you are.” – Miguel De Cervantes Saavedra 

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in  fact, just surrounding yourself with assholes.” – William Gibson 

Aesop is credited as the first to have said it. Others have repeated it in various flavors. “You are the  company you keep”. Now, let’s consider these other interesting quotes from actual dominants (who will  go unnamed): 

“My subs are the lowest of the low…” 

“He’s not worthy to lick the soles of my boots…” 

“He’s a pig, wallowing in my waste…” 

“She’s an idiot, a moron, an imbecile. She can’t do anything right […] Look at the way she bows before  me…” 

I get it…it’s a fantasy. It’s play. It’s a “scene”. And, it has a place there. I certainly understand why  submissives might be excited by having to accept such insults and even might want the humiliation of  being treated like the grime beneath a boot, but I find it harder to understand they, and some dominants, choose to extend that “scene” to real life. Over the years, I’ve met a number of dominants  who openly speak lowly of their submissives, not just insulting them to their faces, but complaining  about them when they’re not even around. Not just during playtime…but as part of their everyday existence.  

Last week, I had my first consultation with a new dominant; a middle-aged man, who has been in the  scene for several years. He has a small stable of three female submissives. He had read “Uniquely  Dominant” and reached out to ask me a few questions about my methodology. 

He started to describe his submissives. There was pride in his voice…but there wasn’t a single thing complimentary, or even positive, in his description. He spoke of them in terms of their faults and weaknesses. He discussed them as if they were broken, faulted, and inept.  

I could tell that, in his mind, he was trying to make himself appear “above it all” in my eyes. He was  trying to impress me; by showing me how critical he was of his “property”. I tried to look through the  façade, but it was actually very difficult.

I asked him what he does to correct them; since he was constantly disappointed with them. He detailed  the punishments he doles out. I asked him if those punishments helped, and he responded by telling me  how afraid of the punishments they were…but that they were “so stupid” it doesn’t seem to change anything. 

… And the definition of insanity is? 

I questioned if he thought his methods were effective…or if there might be a better way. That question hadn’t ever crossed his mind. After a few minutes of probing that thought, it became quite clear he had  no interest in improving his situation. He wanted to complain about them, and flat-out wasn’t looking to actually correct anything. 

In my eyes, this man lost a great deal of respect. It’s just fantasy, right? Well, this was this guy’s  life…and he was surrounding himself with people who he wanted to feel were the lowest of the low,  incompetent, and inept. Far from being impressive, the message his attitude conveyed to me was that  he was highly insecure regarding his own strengths and intelligence, and likely even doubted his own  abilities as a dominant in the first place! 

Then, he made the mistake of asking me how I “keep my submissives in line”…which opened up the  door for me to share a bit of my approach – since, I don’t keep my subs in line. I explained that my subs keep themselves in line. They are intelligent, capable, competent people – and I go out of my way to  make sure they not only know I feel that way, but that I RELY on it: I fully expect them to put those  wonderful traits into service for me. I want them to accomplish their objective: To be the very best  submissive they can be – as measured by my assessment of their efforts and how well their efforts  please me. How can they please me if they’re unable to service competently? 

What does it say about a dominant who openly denigrates their submissives in front of others? What  does it say about a person who CHOOSES to keep people who do not satisfy them around? Aren’t we  the company we keep? With whom do we choose to surround ourselves? 

I’m a lifestyle dominant. I spend an awful lot of time with my submissives. They are around me all the  time. I have an extremely high level of power and control over the select people who dedicate  themselves to me – and I have a choice as to who I allow to be in my presence: Why in the world would I  choose to have low, sub-human, stupid, or inept people serving me? 

I choose my submissives based on how well they can learn to serve me. I work with them to improve their skills, increase their understanding of my preferences and expectations, and determine how and  when to convert that into service. I ENABLE them to serve me better. We share the common objective  of them being the best submissive for me that they can be. The level of dedication that this requires  from a submissive is not something that an imbecile is going to grasp.  

In fantasy…in scene…in playtime: They can be beneath the dirt on my sole. But to be my submissive…to  serve me…to submit to me: They need to bring their “A-Game” to the table, put their abilities on display,  and serve to the best of their ability! 

 Ms. Rika is a lifestyle dominant, educator, and author; living in the suburbs of NYC with her  husband/slave. She has written several popular books on her approach to adding Dominant-Centric, Service-Oriented D/s to relationships. You can find her books (in both print and eBook formats) at  Lulu.com (http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/msrika), or at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, the iStore, Books-A Million, Kobo.com, or anywhere books are sold. Search for “Ms. Rika”.

The Evolution Of Safewords

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Anytime I refer to when I was first learning kink, I get this terrible image in my head that I am surrounded by a group of newbies, droning on about how “back in my day,” we did this or that.  I can even hear the horrid imitation grannie voice.  But the reality is, kink has changed and evolved since I dove headfirst into it, all those years ago.

The most consistent philosophy, in my opinion, would be SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual).  Though, this too has evolved to include RACK (Risk Aware, Consensual Kink) and PRICK (Personal Risk, Informed Consensual Kink).  While each of these has the same idea that consent is paramount to kink, they are more involved and have developed to include personal risk and responsibility.

However, the most fluid idea would be that of a safeword.

Safeword: A word, phrase, or physical symbol that indicates a BDSM scene must end.

Until recently, I accepted this definition.  I believed, and taught individuals, that a safeword is used when someone in a scene reaches their limits.  While I do believe that a safeword can be used in a relationship, just as much as a scene, especially with mental health issues, I accepted that it primarily referred to end a BDSM scene.

But I am having a crisis of definition.

Let me start at the beginning.  We are going to take a moment and explore that horrid “back in my day” story.

When I first delved into the community, I was taught that a safeword was a single word.  It was a word that was given to me by a D-type (blasphemy, I know) and it was to only be used if I was in physical danger.  

Back then, no one talked about mental issues.  No one discussed sub drop.  No one discussed that having a scene in a bad headspace could fuck you up.  No one talked about it.  The community I learned from, demanded that submissives were seen and not heard.  Their entire purpose was to always be available to their Dom.  The needs and wants of a submissive were unimportant.  A submissive had no say in how they were played with nor who they played with.  I was taught that safewords were only needed until you were trained, because “real” submissives did not need safewords.  “Real” submissives did not need a safeword because that was tantamount to Topping from the bottom.  It meant that the submissive did not trust their Dominant.  It meant that you were weak willed and weak minded.  Above all, it was discussed as a disappointment when a submissive needed to save out.  For the most part, scenes stopped when one was uttered, but the silent oppression in the aftermath made that an extremely uncomfortable experience.

And in all my time in the community, I never quite realized how many red flags are in that story until I wrote it out for you to read.  It was simply accepted as the way of things.  I honestly did not think about it too much.

Maybe that is why I am so adamant about consent and communication now.  Because I see myself in all the newbies and I want them to know they have a choice.  A chance to be heard.  A chance to have a voice.

What was once the definition of a submissive, is now the epitome of a slave.  Where once you would be passed around, with simple acceptance, now requires consent and negotiation.  We discuss these concepts like they have always been part of the community.  Maybe, somewhere, they have.  But I was not lucky enough to be surrounded by that type of support.

The first Dominant, who was interested in me, was 32 years my senior.  He had been involved in kink, privately, for a couple of decades.  He knew what he liked and from the first time we talked, he groomed me.  There was no negotiation.  And I believed that was normal.  He groomed me, at 18, and he required Honorifics.  Naive as I was, his interest in me sparked me to break my own rule and refer to him as Sir.  I had extremely low self-esteem and his attention was addicting.  Until, one weekend, he texted me to let me know he would be out of cell range for a couple of days and he would text when he got home.  Fourteen years later, I still have not received that call.

The second Dominant who was interested, was a Mistress twice my age, who wanted me to move to her and become a house girl.  I would not be allowed to contact my family (whom I was close with), would be required to be rail thin, and would not be allowed to pursue my college degree.  My wants, and needs, had no consideration. She too required honorifics from the very beginning, and she too ghosted me when I refused to comply.

I want to specify that I was not disrespectful.  I just wanted to be treated like a human being.

After those experiences, I became very reserved.  I was surrounded by submissives, and through a matter of circumstance, I fought my nature and became a switch.  Once I took control, I refused to ever let it go again.  Being groomed and ghosted and having no sense of self, left me with a bitter taste of BDSM.  I let it become relegated to a bedroom only activity.  I lost the beauty and drive of my submission.

And it culminated in the best and worst thing I ever said to Master (before I was even under consideration): “I bow to no Man.  Do your worst.” But that’s a story in another article.

I wanted to give you background on where my definition of a safeword started.  Had either of those individuals become my Dominant, I would not be talking to you about safewords at all.  Because, back then, safewords were a handicap.  They were a disappointment.  They were the sign of a submissive’s failure.

Over time, my definition changed.  When I met Master, he introduced me to the Stoplight system.  Green for Go (although I find that part redundant), Yellow for Check-In, and Red for Stop Immediately.  Not only was it more universally recognized in public dungeons, but it was also a good system for him and me to find our happy mediums. 

I rarely use any of the safewords.  Yellow is reserved for health issues.  For example, if the cane misses my ass and hits my thigh.  I will say, “Yellow, that got my hip.”  It does not stop our play.  We do not stop to check in.  He readjusts his swing, and we continue.  He trusts that I will tell him if we need to stop.

Red has never been used.  I struggle deeply with even contemplating the use of it.  The indoctrination (and most likely because I started as a teenager) makes it hard to hold to my limits.  Master has commented more than once that when I say red (because it will happen eventually), He is figuring it will require medical intervention.  

We play hard and rough and my body can take quite a beating.  If I am saying red, something will be very wrong.

I tried to explain it to Master at one point.  When something happens in a scene that I am unsure of, my head starts arguing.  Its several voices talking over each other.  One argues to safeword.  One argues that I can take more.  One says to push my limits.  One says to back off.  One sobs with my pain and one laughs at my suffering.  It goes back and forth between being at my limit and wanting to push more.  By the time I settle on a decision, I have already endured more than I thought I could. Then it starts over.

It is only in sub space that I escape the chaos in my head.  I become catatonic.  I can function and follow orders, but I lose the ability to safeword.  I stop recognizing my own name.  I lose the ability to speak and understand English. I am gone.  

Due to my struggles to safeword, and my tendency to become catatonic, Master has learned to read my body first and listen to my answers second.  Over time, He has come to trust that I am not lying to him when I say that I am fine or that we can continue whatever we are doing.  In my head, I am ready to serve and accept what he offers me.  In my head, I can take anything he can dream up.  In my head, I am still that teenager who was taught that safewording means I am a failure.

I have encountered many viewpoints on the use of a safeword.  There are the individuals who play without them.  People like those who taught me.  There are those who use a single safeword and only apply it to BDSM scenes.  You have those who use a single safeword but apply it to all aspects of the relationship.  You have those who use a color system (like the stoplight system) that are more universal in the lifestyle.

Throughout the years, the consensus has moved from submissives being property to submissives being an autonomous individual with rights.  There is much more emphasis on consent and negotiation than there was years ago.  We, as a community, make sure that submissives know that they are valued and should get to know a potential D-type as a person first and dynamic second.  

I will never speak against those who prefer to play without a safeword.  Just as I will never speak against those who prefer to be property.  I am one of those submissives who handed all decisions over to Master.  I do not negotiate, He has blanket consent, and I hold out on my safeword far further than most.  I am his to do with as he pleases.  I am there for his pleasure and in service to him.  That is how I view my submission.  Whether by choice or conditioning, I will probably always struggle with using my safeword.  I will always struggle with the feelings of failure and disappointment, even though I know Master would never feel either of those feelings if I use it.  

The culture surrounding the use of safewords has come an exceptionally long way.  But I am positive that it still has a long way to go.

*On a side note, the color system has grown exponentially over the years.   What started as a three color system has become almost comical in the alternative colors available for use.

Green – Go

Yellow/Orange/Tan/Amber- Slow down

Red- Stop your current activity/ End scene

Black- End everything immediately

Blue- I need water/I need comfort

My name is Joji.  I am 29 years old currently and I have been in and around the kink community about 15 years.I am a collared submissive to Magick42.  I am also a Daddy to a wonderful babygirl, and have been for more than three years now and I find it very fulfilling.  I am being mentored in and being taught electroplay.  I am a masochist at heart and thoroughly love impact play, especially caning.  I enjoy reading anything I can get my hands on and am a die hard Harry Potter and Doctor Who fan.  I am also the secretary for a group in Idaho called Moscow S.P.A.R.K.E (Simply Providing Another Route to Kink Education).  It is our mission to teach safe practices to those new to the community and give them a safe haven to ask questions and learn without judgement.  We accept all kinks and all we ask in return is respect between all our members.

An Excerpt From Mira O’Hart’s Erotic Novel “Master & Slave” – Book 1 The Sale

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***This work takes place in a fictional world where slavery is legal (sort of like Gor). This work is for fantasy purposes only and is not an accurate portrayal of a BDSM relationship.

***All works of erotica are fictional. We never condone anything that is not consensual.

***Click here to read part 1

Oh, please don’t make me do this part.” Steven looked alternately at brian who knelt before him and john who waited patiently by the kitchen doorway. He watched as the pair exchanged glances and silently agreed that john should speak.

            “We beg your pardon, Sir. I’m afraid neither of us understand. What is it in this exchange that you dislike?” john glanced at brian for approval of his wording. Though he would have preferred that his more experienced counterpart ask the question, he understood that brian faced a greater risk if his Master’s anger were to be kindled. brian gave the slightest of nods that only a slave would notice.

            “I don’t want to hit him. Why is this necessary?”

            “Sir, I submit myself to whatever method of introduction you prefer, Sir. A gentleman should not have to pain his hand on a slave, Sir.” brian bowed his head.

            “Sir? You would prefer to use something on him, Sir?” john raised questioning eyes to his Master.

            “No. I would prefer if we sit here as friends, as equals and enjoy some television.”

            “Sir, I would never presume to be your equal, Sir.” brian took a deep breath and continued cautiously, “However, if I may, Sir…” he paused and awaited rebuke. Steven said nothing but gestured for him to continue. “If your intent is to show kindness, Sir, it is possible to complete the ceremony… with compassion, Sir.”

            “Oh, good. Show me.” Steven got clumsily down on his knees, mirroring brian.

             john heard the relief in his Master’s voice, and he saw the unspoken horror in brian’s eyes when he realized that the free man wanted to play the slave in this exchange. If the thought of being lifted to equal status was uncomfortable- this – putting a gentleman below himself- was unimaginable.

            “Sir,” john walked hastily to his Master’s side and quickly knelt beside him, as standing over him felt vastly inappropriate. “It may be more beneficial, Sir, for you both to stay in your accustomed roles, and brian can walk you through the exchange as it would normally take place. After all, it wouldn’t do you much good to know what to do in our position. It is the gentleman’s choice that dictates the exchange. All we do is acquiesce.”

            john watched the relief on his friend’s face as his Master rose again to his feet. Thankfully, his Master was rather easily persuaded- though john vowed to never take advantage of this as some slaves might- it was useful in such cases where Steven was compelled to stand social propriety on its head.

            “Okay. What should I do?”

            “Sir, first, it would be helpful if I knew that I could speak freely throughout this… charade…. exchange…. production… exercise…endeavor, Sir.”

            “Yes, brian, of course.”

            “Sir, Thank you, Sir. Now, if it happens that you’re being introduced to a slave and you wish to be compassionate- it’s all right, Sir- reach your hand toward my face.”

            Steven extended his arm eagerly toward brian, who flinched. “Sorry. You know I’m not going to hit you, right?”

            “Sir, yes, Sir. Certain reflexes are difficult to unlearn, Sir. A hint, Sir, slow and measured movements will be appreciated by any slave, Sir.”

            Steven reached forward with a slow and steady calm. When his fingers reached brian’s face he halted.

            “Sir, lovely Sir. Now, Sir, cup my face.”

            “How?”

            “Reach out, slowly. Your ring finger will rest slightly below my earlobe. Your palm is pressed against the line of my jaw. Your thumb will rest over my mouth.”

            “Is this right?’

            “Yes, Sir. You’re doing splendidly, Sir.”

            “Is this method always an option?”

            ‘Sir, yes Sir. We are accustomed to being cuffed, Sir. But it is most appreciated when a gentleman chooses to be gracious.”

            “I guess most men prefer a brute display of strength.”

            “Sir, press your palm against my cheek,” brian allowed his head to be tilted easily at Steven’s touch. “The control is entirely in your hands, Sir. Sometimes the most potent display of force, is in its absence.”

            “How do I know when we’re finished?”

            “Slide your palm further up on my face, covering my cheek. Now, bring your hand down and forward until it is in front of my mouth. Once you allow me to kiss your hand, the interaction is complete.”

            Steven did as brian instructed. He’d gotten slightly more comfortable with the hand kissing, due to weekly interaction with john.  He felt the soft press of brian’s lips. Steven ran his thumb over brian’s mouth and the slave placed a kiss there as well. He turned his hand and allowed brian a third kiss to the back of his hand.

            “Sir, thank you, Sir.”

Mira O’Hart credits her life long love of words, books and language to her Mom, who read to her every day. “Bookie” was one of her first words and publishing her own novel became a goal by age 10. Mira studied Journalism and Psychology at Penn State and later returned for a Master’s Degree in Education. Her varied career has included journalism, community mental health and school counseling.

Her passions include reading, writing, animals and travel. Italy and Greece are two of her favorite places visited so far. Her love of the written word has inspired her to study ancient languages including Latin, Egyptian Hieroglyphs and Summarian. She lives in North Eastern Pa with her cats, Tilly and Chloe.

An Excerpt From Mira O’Hart’s Erotic Novel “Master & Slave” – Book 1 The Sale

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***all works of erotica are fictional. We NEVER condone anything that is not consensual

***This work takes place in a fictional world where slavery is legal (sort of like Gor). This work is for fantasy purposes only and is not an accurate portrayal of a BDSM relationship.

What surprised him was the feel of cold metal around his wrist. Shackled. She was chaining him. This was going to be bad. He gripped the headboard more tightly. When she closed the second cuff he buried his head in the goose down pillow. He would bite it if he had to. Punishment should be suffered with grace, dignity and humility. What exactly he was being punished for he couldn’t hazard a guess.

By the fifth stroke he was biting the pillow – to keep from laughing with relief. It was not the club, but a leather riding crop. Yes, it stung; he would have marks, but it was so much better than the club. He would gladly kneel for her after this and kiss her tiny feet for this small gesture of mercy.

She stopped abruptly. He thought maybe it was over. She came up beside him. Jessie ran her hand lightly over his back, over the red marks and welts. She slipped her hand under him and pulled at the fastening of his jeans. He lifted himself to assist her. The sturdy denim was not the defense against the lash that she must assume it to be, but if she insisted on whipping him naked, it was not his place to refuse. He saw no purpose in her removing his underwear as well, except perhaps to humiliate him. His face was burning almost as much as his back; he thanked Them for the small mercy of being able to hide in the pillow.

The strokes fell faster. They stung and he could feel welts rising. Perhaps the jeans were more protection than he had realized. He let his breathing fall into sync with the lashes. The familiar heady feeling found him. Blessed endorphins, adrenaline and other chemicals that put a soft haze over the pain and turned it into pleasure. If her goal was to make him suffer, she was failing. He could endure this for at least an hour. She varied the strokes and the area inflicted. It had melted into a warm tingling from the bottom of his thighs to just below his hips. He would probably feel it for a day or two, he hoped. A little reminder from a proper beating kept a slave humble, obedient. He still couldn’t imagine what he had done to offend her. Perhaps nothing. There had been guards like that, and Instructors. Those who would summon you to kneel under their lash purely to amuse them. Granted, his friendship with Brutus had protected him, from the guards at least.

It was the silence in the room that let him know that the beating was over. He could no longer tell if the blows were falling, nerves fired randomly and pain signals collided off one another in the race to his brain. john drifted in the familiar post beating delirium. He was ready to beg and thank her for his punishment, but he was cognizant enough to await her orders.

He felt the mattress move and realized she had climbed onto the bed with him. Her leg pressed against his and the touch of her skirt fabric reminded him of his nakedness. She straddled him. Perhaps she was going to inspect his marks, or unchain him, although it seemed an awkward position to accomplish either of these tasks. 

“Spread your legs.”

Noting to himself that this would be easier to do if she were not on top of him, john struggled to obey. He could not brag of any great flexibility. He realized she was probably going to whip the insides of his thighs, and he prayed that his lack of physical dexterity would not be interpreted as disobedience or a refusal to submit to discipline. He pushed his legs a little farther.

“Good. Very nice.”

A compliment? And she actually sounded pleased. He cursed his rigid muscular body, that the first task he had struggled with would be one apparently important to her. Perhaps she was pleased by his overall submission to the beating. It did seem to make her happy to beat him. It would be nice if she derived such enjoyment from his duties about the house, but he would endeavor to please her where he could.

“You were very good. Very good.” She gently stroked his hair and allowed him to kiss her hand.

“Mistress, thank you, Mistress.” He awaited a command or permission to beg her forgiveness.

She petted his hair and lightly rubbed his shoulders. It was the most gentle touch he’d ever received from her. She had rolled to the side and was lying next to him. He felt her lips press against his shoulder. She continued to kiss along his shoulders and his back. john lay quietly, perplexed and uncertain. He almost opened his mouth to speak to ask what this meant and what behavior would be appropriate on his part. No. It was better to remain silent. If she gave a command he would obey. If she permitted him to beg, he would confess his wrong-doing- probably misaddress- and hope that his acceptance of his punishment had pleased her.

“You may speak.”

“Yes, Mistress. Thank you, Mistress. Thank you for your correction and guiding me in my service to you. I sincerely beg your pardon for my continual misaddress, Mistress. I have been disrespectful and disobedient. I was greatly in need of your correction and am indebted to you for such. I can only hope that my submission to my punishment has pleased you and beg your mercy that you might forgive me.”

Jessie gave a noticeable shiver beside him. She made a small moan and he expected her to speak. More precisely to lecture him on his misconduct and detail what punishment future disobedience would bring. Her knowledge of at least some slave etiquette was comforting. Not that he relished being punished, but he had deserved it. She had told him repeatedly to address her as ‘Mistress” and he had disobeyed. His reasons were irrelevant. She gave orders and she punished; she had acted more like a Master than his Master had. She had earned his respect.

“You want me to forgive you?” Jessie ran her fingers lightly over john’s welted ass and thighs.

“Mistress, yes Mistress. This slave understands that more punishment may be required to satisfy forgiveness. This slave will suffer as silently as possible and endure whatever discipline Mistress deems appropriate.” 

His Mistress shuddered again. Was she getting ill? The room was not cold and she was still fully clothed.

“I forgive you. I am even going to reward you.”

“I am hardly deserving of any reward, Mistress.”

“But you are going to lay there and let me do anything I want to you, aren’t you?”

“Mistress, I submit myself to your hand, Mistress.” 

“And you won’t mention this to Steven?”

“Mistress, punishment is generally considered private, Mistress. If you have forgiven me there is no need to discuss it further with my Master.”

“Just to be clear, you are forgiven. This is not punishment. This is just something I’ve wanted to do to you for a while, simply because I will enjoy it.”

“I submit myself to your hand, Mistress.” The rush of endorphins was starting to ebb and sleepiness pulled at him. His ass and thighs were warm and ached from clenching them. The welts stung. Punished and forgiven. He hoped she would be finished with him soon so he could retreat downstairs to his couch and sleep.

She laughed softly. “Funny you should phrase it that way.” She caressed his thigh and ran her nails over the reddened flesh. 

john writhed. It wasn’t exactly pain, but he did not have a word for the sensation. Her fingernails felt like knives on his tender skin. Submit. Submit. Be still. Be silent. He sighed and forced himself to be rigid under her hands.

“It’s all right, john. I told you. This is not punishment. I don’t mind if you move around or make a little noise. I enjoy it. Now, I’m going to rub some lotion on you. This should feel nice.”

It stung a little at first, the lotion finding the numerous abrasions on his skin. But then it cooled, it soothed his skin. They had used something like this at school, though he hadn’t had anyone else rub it on him since he was a child. Brutus had always cleaned any lash marks that drew blood, but this was different. He had no frame of reference for the sensations this stirred in him. john was painfully aware of his nakedness and his involuntary reaction to the gentle caress of his Mistress. 

“Good slave.”

He shuddered this time. With that, some quiet tears flowed. As hard as john fought to be perfect he never felt so at peace as when he had failed, was truly punished and truly forgiven. To be accepted, to be called good even when he had disobeyed. He thought he was quiet, but she must have heard him. She stopped caressing his thighs and put her hands back on his shoulders.

“Shh, shh, ssshhh. It’s all right. You’re good, john. You’re a very good slave. Shh, shh, shh.” She massaged his shoulders, stroked his hair and finally turned his head so that she could kiss his cheek. And then she found his mouth.

When they finally parted lips they were breathless. john averted his eyes, certain that this had not been proper. And yet, it felt so assuredly right. He fought the urge to force his mouth back onto hers. While he struggled to make sense of everything, she leaned back into him. Her mouth found his lips; she grabbed a fist full of his hair with her left hand and she slid her right hand down to cup his ass.

Her fingers were invading the most private part of him. Everything tensed. Muscles deep inside him fought to push the intruder out, but they could not. He felt her slide her fingers further inside of him. He tried to pull free of the kiss and free of her prying fingers. She tightened her grip on his hair, pulling painfully. 

“Shh. I’m not hurting you. Be good. Just be good. Be still, relax. This won’t hurt if you relax. I promise, this will feel nice.”

“Mistress, please. Mistress, I don’t understand.”

“Shh. Don’t think. Just feel. Just lay there and focus on what you feel.”

“This is the remainder of my punishment, Mistress?”

She kissed his lips, softly. “No. This is simply how I chose to use you. You would not question your Mistress’s use of you, would you?”

“Mistress, no Mistress.”

“Good. Good slave. Now, just relax. You may speak or scream or cry or express any feelings you may have.”

His Master never would have thought to grant him such permission. He wanted to thank her, but she crushed his mouth into another kiss and he was swept under. Her tongue explored his mouth and her fingers explored a more intimate cavity. The life of a slave is an exercise in vulnerability, but john experienced a previously undiscovered level of submission. No one had ever owned inside of him before. Vulnerable. Owned. These were feelings he understood. In this unfamiliar context he took comfort in those feelings. She was his Mistress. She was using him as she wished. He was a good slave; he would submit.

Submission was his core, his essence. After each trial, each punishment, each moment of redemption or forgiveness he felt his core grow, expand, brighten. It brightened now. His very soul expounded and glowed, until it was a white-hot sun. The warmth inside of him spread until it matched and surpassed the warmth of his welted skin. The warmth and pressure built until all that was left of him was the glowing hot sun of submission burning inside him. And then the sun exploded. He screamed, but it was drowned in her kiss. 

She pulled away. He was panting, gasping for air. She was smiling at him. 

“Good. Good slave.” She stroked his hair.

To Be Continued…

Mira O’Hart credits her life long love of words, books and language to her Mom, who read to her every day. “Bookie” was one of her first words and publishing her own novel became a goal by age 10. Mira studied Journalism and Psychology at Penn State and later returned for a Master’s Degree in Education. Her varied career has included journalism, community mental health and school counseling.

Her passions include reading, writing, animals and travel. Italy and Greece are two of her favorite places visited so far. Her love of the written word has inspired her to study ancient languages including Latin, Egyptian Hieroglyphs and Summarian. She lives in North Eastern Pa with her cats, Tilly and Chloe.

Routine Task Lists In Power Exchange Dynamics

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blonde sexy Domme with male submissive in straitjacket
via stock.adobe.com

I hope you have been enjoying Rika’s Lair, my monthly column dedicated to thoughts and experiences  regarding power dynamics in Service-Oriented D/s relationships. Look up “Ms. Rika” in the search box  for links to all of my articles in KinkWeekly!  

This week, I’d like to focus in on a technique that I introduced in my first book, “Uniquely Rika” – The  Routine Task List exercise. This exercise has brought a great deal of success for many couples through the years. It originated as a way to help couples establish the activities they would utilize within a  Dominant-centric dynamic. The exercise was originally established to accomplish three things: 

1) Establish a “To-Do” list of tasks that truly serve the dominant and can be executed without the  need for the dominant to ensure, order, and follow up on assignments 

2) Ensure that what is being done for a dominant is actually FOR a dominant 

3) Share the responsibility of creativity between the partners so that the dominant is not solely  burdened with the need to come up with and create things for the submissive to do 

As it turns out, the Routine Task List exercise has a couple of far more valuable side-benefits: It teaches  the submissive to identify the dominant’s preferences; gives the submissive an understanding of why  something is, or isn’t, considered to be submission to their particular partner; and helps the submissive  think about their activities in terms of what the dominant wants. In short, it establishes a structured  communication method, within which the submissive learns how to serve their unique dominant. Because of these, it’s a great exercise for beginners and seasoned players alike. In my second book,  “Uniquely Us”, you see how several couples have implemented the technique within their dynamics with great results! 

The Routine Task List Exercise 

The exercise is best described in the books, but here goes the abridged version: 

1) The sub is to prepare a list of 10 items that the sub believes the dominant will feel are service to them. 

• The list should be prepared on a regular schedule. Many couples start at once a week. It’s  best to establish a set time to prepare a written list. 

• The list should contain things that the submissive feels is going to be received by the  dominant as submission to them. It’s not a list of things that the sub wants to do, it’s a list  of things that the sub thinks the dominant would want. This caveat is what makes the  exercise so useful for establishing the definition of submission for that dominant – because  the submissive is forced to think like the dominant. 

• The submissive should create this list on their own, based on their understanding of the  dominant’s preferences. 

2) The dominant reviews the list and triages it into three categories and explains why each item fell  into each category: 

• Things that the dominant feels are really submission to them – that they would want to  have done on a regular basis

• Things that the dominant feels are really more for the submissive – and although the  dominant likes to see the submissive happy and will get pleasure from making the sub  happy, are not actually submission for them 

• Things that the dominant does not like and does not want to do 

The important part of all of this, is that dominant needs to take the time to explain  WHY each item from the list ends up in the bucket it does. It’s equally important to  explain to the sub what it is about a specific task that is submission to the dominant  and made it to the list – as it is to explain why something did not make the task list. 

3) The dominant assigns the triaged items that meet the criteria: 

• The things that make the first category, are given a frequency and are added to the  submissive’s “Task List”. The frequency can be something like, “Every day”, “Once a week”,  “Whenever I shower”, “At meals”, “When I enter the room”, etc. These items are put on the  submissives list and the submissive is to execute the tasks on the scheduled times without  the need for provocation, reminder, etc. It’s the sub’s responsibility to meet the schedule. 

• Things in the second category are taken under advisement by the dominant as things that  can be given as treats/gifts during playtime. They do not make the task list. The dominant  should be quite particular about what makes it to the task list…if it’s not really service to the  dominant…that is, if it’s not FOR the dominant, then it doesn’t make the list. 

• Things that are in the third category are removed and will not be done. 

If the submissive gets 5 or more items accepted to the list, they’ve done a good job. The goal, of course,  is to get a perfect 10 for 10. If the sub gets less than 5 items on the list, then they should go back and try  again that same week…armed with the understanding they’ve accumulated via the feedback. Otherwise,  the sub executes the (now grown) task list and begins to think of things for the next week’s list. 

After a few weeks of this, the sub gets pretty good at understanding what is and what isn’t considered  to be submission to this dominant…and should begin to get better at predicting and getting more and  more items added to the list. The end result is an increasing list of pre-scheduled tasks that the sub is  performing on a regular basis, that truly provide submission to the unique dominant. 

The list is designed to contain routine tasks – to be executed according to the schedule, by the  submissive, without the need for the dominant to monitor or command execution. This simplifies the  dominant’s life – while providing services that meet their needs. 

John’s Attestation 

As I mentioned, many couples with whom I’ve worked, have used this technique with a great deal of  success. Earlier in 2020, the submissive of one of those couples posted his account in my FetLife Rika’s  Lair discussion group. I’ve reproduced it here with his permission: 

Hi folks! I wanted to chime in here to talk about the Task List Exercise. For those of you  who don’t know me, I’m John – of Liz and John in Rika’s second book. We started the Task  List Exercise when Liz introduced me to Rika’s methodology. I was a bit skeptical at first  (with the whole methodology, as well as the exercise), but Liz was into it…and to see her excited by anything having to do with being my dominant was, as the song goes, simply  irresistible! 

I remember how I thought my first list was perfection…and it turned out to be AWFUL. In  it, I spelled out what I felt submission was, being sure to list the kinky activities that Liz  and I had done in our previous playtime that she liked. Turns out, she enjoyed my reaction  to those kinds of things, but serving her – in her mind – was a much different experience. It  was, looking back, all about me: What I would allow her to do to me. Only one item from  my first list made it to the routine list. 

She sat me down and explained why these things, although enjoyable, were not going to  be considered to be submission to her. That we will likely do some of those things, because  they’re fun, but they were not making their way to the list – which was to define service TO HER. 

I remember feeling that she had been fed a dose of poison and that we were losing every  chance of having a deep D/s dynamic. I was pretty pissed at Rika, frankly. But Liz was not  moving. She would not budge from what she wanted. She sets expectations in a way that  wasn’t asking me, it was telling me. She basically said I was doing this, or I wasn’t doing  anything – that to serve her meant she got to set what service means. In other words, she  was being dominant! On the surface, I didn’t like where she was taking this – but at my  core, I loved that she was demanding that I comply. I did. 

Fast forward about 6 months: I was 10 for 10 on my task list almost every week and had  a routine list of over 200 items. They were small items, but there were a lot of them! It  was more than I could handle, frankly. We both recognized that we were fast approaching  my limit. Rika advised us to prune the list. To remove things that Liz could live without. She  also recommended that we review the list monthly, rather than weekly. We got the list to  [a] manageable 160 items, some of them daily, some weekly, some in certain  circumstances. 

Around two months into this process, I started to realize that I FELT MORE submissive than  I had ever felt in our playtime. I was truly serving Liz and Liz was feeling truly dominant.  She was also giving me lots of treats. I didn’t feel like I was going without what I enjoyed  – I just knew that when Liz gave me something that she knew I liked, it was not submission,  but rather a gift – and I was so very thankful for it. 

We’re many years into our dynamic now – we don’t visit the task list on a regular basis  anymore. It changes when Liz wants it to change. It is, however, always in play. I am her  servant, heart and soul, and love every moment of it. I find that my tastes and desires have  changed and are almost in complete lock step with Liz’s. It’s not that I can read her mind,  but I’m thinking like her now. I’ve embodied her tastes and preferences and find myself  acting in accordance with them, without having to try. 

Rika’s system works. This task list is just the beginning, but it’s an important first  component. Try it out…I strongly recommend it. And to the dominants: Be REALLY strict about what makes it onto your list. Make sure it REALLY serves YOU if you allow it. The  other things you can still do, but not as part of this list. This list is about YOU. 

Wrapping it Up 

Communication is, by far, the most important element of success for couples establishing, or continuing  their D/s dynamics. The Routine Task List exercise provides an excellent vehicle to enable greater  communication. It’s particularly effective because it engages the submissive’s mind – challenging the  submissive to internalize the dominant’s definition of submission. When submissives begin to consistently create lists that triage a perfect 10 for 10, the couple can be certain that the submissive has  truly embraced the dominant’s definition of submission. Over time, that definition can change – and the Routine Task List assures that the submissive stays with the course. 

Try the technique. For more info, read the books. I think you’ll find that they will help your dynamic  regardless of how “seasoned” or “newbie” yours is! 

Ms. Rika is a lifestyle dominant, educator, and author; living in the suburbs of NYC with her  husband/slave. She has written several popular books on her approach to adding Dominant-Centric,  Service-Oriented D/s to relationships. You can find her books (in both print and eBook formats) at  Lulu.com (http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/msrika), or at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, the iStore, Books-A Million, Kobo.com, or anywhere books are sold. Search for “Ms. Rika”. Write to me at  Ms_Rika@hotmail.com